Background
I am 28 years old (will be 29 on the 18th Oct) and I am ready to go the family way. I have a lovely girlfirend lets call her Hauwa, she is 28 too (will be 29 March next year) and is emotionally matured and ready to settle down too, but the problem is my mom.


Statement of Problem
My mom gets irritated when I tell her i am ready to marry. She keeps hoping i dont get married soon saying i am ungrateful for all the care she has shown me. I have a Job and i have promised to do what I should do. But she said i must not marry the person i love. She has rejected every lady I have brought home. In fact she has never approved any relationship I have ever been in. Every lady i date is either a prostitute or a low life according to her.


More Details
She wants to match make for me. She is always talking about her friends daughters, so last year i tried to reason with her and allowed her to send me her choice (this was before my present relationship).
She sent the lady's number and i contacted the lady. Very rude lady who thinks being a medical student is the best thing that has happened since sliced bread. We didnt gel at all cos i feel she's too slow and not my type of woman, she also wasnt digging the match making thingy. The lady eventually told me she is in another relationship and i felt relieved. I told my mom and she said theres another medical student (daughter of another friend) of hers.



My Point of View
I am tired of her trying to match make me with her own opinion of the best choice for me. I love this lady I presently am dating to the moon and I cant see myself leaving a matured, humble and independent woman for another slowpoke i dont even know.

My mom has said if i go ahead I wont have her blessings in the marriage and that i have been jazed. I used to think moms will be happy that their son wants to start a family but mine has made it harder for me. I know parents want the best for their children but this is a tall oder for me.


Hauwa's Point of View
Hauwa is already feeling rejected about the whole saga and has asked me to keep peace with my mom. She says she undestands moms are protective. She handeled it well with maturity. I delibratelty asked her to visit my mom from the begining of the relationship so that they can familiarize with themselves but my mom wont accept her. Hauwa is saying it will be difficult emotionally for us if our relationship and marriage is not accepted.


Mom's Point of View
The first reason my mom gave is that Hauwa is Igala while we are okun (i have introduced my mom to an Okun lady in the past she said our village doesnt marry from Yagba, I also introduced her to another youruba lady she said the lady parents are not together so she wont keep a home).
The second point my mom raised is that the lady is financially independent, makes money and drives a Jeep. (I have asked Hauwa about her financial status and I am convinced runs is not not her way cos she has elaborated on how she affords her lifestyle and its genuine).She also asked for the 4million she loaned me before I talk about marriage which I will. I asked her if she wants cash or a car and she said a benz. My plan is to get her an SUV before end of the year so i can focus on settling down next year. I am very lonely and tired of bachelor life. I want to settle down and start have kids not sleeping around like a fuckboy.


Family point of view
My family is very educated and well travelled so i dont understand why this issue is coming up. I am already processing visa for Hauwa cos i cant keep breaking my heart by ending relationships at her command just to to make her happy. My dad is neutral but he wont want to offend his wife so he might try and reason with her. My sisters have said they will support my chioce but I shouldnt complain if I make the wrong choice even tho my mom will try to convince my siblings not to give me any kind of emotional support.


My Question
What are the repercussions of going ahead with the marriage plans?? Has any man successfully gone against their moms wish and turned out happy??


NB: No one can change my moms mind, not my dad, not pastor, not her sister. on one because she will convince them she is right and tell them I am lying, that she has never rejected anyone except this person.
Please I dont want to give the impression that my mom is a bad person cos she has trained me in the right path and I have never lacked because of her. She is also very supportive and has provided everything and more at all times for all her children.

Please be kind to us cos im sending the link to Hauwa to read matured peoples opinion.

Cheers

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Then just marry your mother na,. Mtcheew

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Anyway on the other news Glory Be to God i have finally made it to FTC,,, Mods where is my Gift and somebody should throw a little comfety on me

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Take this to your family's elders

Truly ur mum might b good to u BUT if u re nt careful might lead u to early grave.. how?? by her choice of partner for u.

Oga ur mama is bad joo, let call a spade a spade jare, all i see in her is self centeredness, selfishness, me and me alone, ITK, and a domineering nature.

A woman who wouldnt listen to anybody, how is dat a...... make i shut up there. BUT I THINK UR DAD IS WEAK SHA.

if truly she's supportive as u claimed, she shouldn't hav problem with ur choice of partner rather she should b showering u with blessing in ur new adventure.

See, i cant say u should continue oo cus i wouldn't want to b disrespectful to my mum as well, maybe u should consider singleness til 37, by den she will b forced to let u hav ur way.

Is this a real story? or fiction to entertain us,?

E remain make you type reference and appreciation, it'll become a fullblown final year project.

Maybe it is this your grammar that is making her refuse. She is probably not understanding you and your choices.

My dear women can make or break a man.
Stop communicating with ur mom,go into.prayers,ur mom may not have clean hands,give her space,kill communication and see if she will miss you,
After a month or two go ahead without her,u love her but she has lived he life.this liife is one,if she had a spiritual contract about u getting married or trade ur life go on ur k need.a woman who does. Not have whom she respects has a deep heart.
Go ahead
Your mom is very selfish,even devil respects God!

pocohantas:
:oE remain make you type reference and appreciation, it'll become a fullblown final year project.

Maybe it is this your granmar that is making her refuse. She is probably not understanding you and your choices.

Sorry if the grammer offends you. I only want people reading to understand instaed of mumbling words that might confuse the reader.

healthserve:
Take this to your family's elders

Thanks... I hope she will listen tho

THUNDER4real:
Is this a real story? or fiction to entertain us,?

This my real life. This is where i am right now.

Rosarie:
My dear women can make or break a man.
Stop communicating with ur mom,go into.prayers,ur mom may not have clean hands,give her space,kill communication and see if she will miss you,
After a month or two go ahead without her,u love her but she has lived he life.this liife is one,if she had a spiritual contract about u getting married or trade ur life go on ur k need.a woman who does. Not have whom she respects has a deep heart.
Go ahead








M

Thanks for your advise

pocohantas:
:oE remain make you type reference and appreciation, it'll become a fullblown final year project.

Maybe it is this your granmar that is making her refuse. She is probably not understanding you and your choices.

Mummy’s fav boy wahala. Mummy wants full control.Just know your madam will have a rough time of it. Any issue will be blamed on her. Hopefully you are earning enough to send regular monthly allowance. That may calm her down somewhat

johndan103:


Sorry if the grammer offends you. I only want people reading to understand instaed of mumbling words that might confuse the reader.

Not offended at all, but when people take their time to post like this- it is assumed to be fiction. Lol.

Of course there would be people who got married without their parents consent. Doesn't mean it is always the best route to take. Your mum probably wants someone who is her party member, someone she can control. That is the only reason I can think of, as I do not know her in person...

How can you be marrying your age mate sef?! I wonder how disappointed your mum feels

Bluehill1051:
How can you be marrying your age mate sef?! I wonder how disappointed your mum feels

Some men have married women older than them and had a peaceful home. Age is just a number, love comes to us in different ways. In our case I am even older than her with some months. I dont really fancy distant age gaps in my choice of a partner and Hauwa is very obiedient, respectful, beautiful and most of all emotionally matured and stable.

I dont think age will have any negetive impact on our relationship cos we understand each other perfectly.

johndan103:


Please ignore her. Its not hard to spot people who want to mudsling. Thanks again for the intelligent contribution you made earlier. I think she needs help. She's probably going through a lot of trauma. Normal people dont behave abnormal.

Please isolate her in her folly. thanks for understanding.

when u spot a pig,its very easy to no .
How can someone put a comment,even said he does not want insults then u open ur guttee mouth and say his mother has no sense?
If u don't have what to say why not move on
Just keep quiet