1.
Fifteen minutes into the flight from Kansas City to Toronto, the captain announced, "Ladies and gentlemen, one of our engines has failed. There is nothing to worry about. Our flight will take an hour longer than scheduled, but we still have three engines left."

Thirty minutes later the captain announced, "One more engine has failed and the flight will take an additional two hours. But don't worry , we can fly just fine on two engines."

An hour later the captain announced, "One more engine has failed and our arrival will be delayed another three hours. But don't worry , we still have one engine left."

A young blond passenger turned to the man in the next seat and remarked, "If we lose one more engine, we'll be up here all day!"


2.
Two blond guys were digging a ditch on a very hot day. One said to the other, "Why are we down in this hole digging a ditch when our boss is standing up there in the shade of a tree?" "I don't know," responded the other. "I'll ask him."

So he climbed out of the hole and went to his boss. "Why are we digging in the hot sun and you're standing in the shade?" "Smarts," the boss said. "What do you mean, 'smarts' ?" asked the blond. The boss said, "Well, I'll show you. I'll put my hand on this tree and I want you to hit it with your fist as hard as you can. " The ditch digger took a mighty swing and tried to hit the boss' hand. The boss removed his hand and the ditch digger hit the tree.

The boss said, "That's smarts!" The blond went back to his hole. His friend asked, "What did he say?" "He said we are down here because of smarts." "What's smarts?" said the other blond, The recently enlightened blond put his hand on his face and said, "Take your shovel and hit my hand."

lol @ the 1st joke!

@Joke'

Nearly. . .