Good day nairalanders. This story is not about me but a friend of mine who is a guy.

There is this guy who I know who is not financially buoyant but instead of him to look for money he keeps sleeping around. I will be brief with this story.

The man in question has 4 children who he doesnt take care of. The first day I saw them, I was at his place he does electrical works for me. He stepped out to buy something. When the kids came, they asked me for money. I didn't know them and they looked so dirty and you know usual Nigerian story, dont give beggars money anyhow. So I told them I had no idea who they were looking for. When he came back, I told him . He denied knowing any child talkless of children coming to his house. We even joked about parents who turn their kids to beggars and all.

The second time I went to look for him to do a job for me, I saw the children again and they still begged me for money. Then I was curious why it's only that particular house they come and ask for money. So I asked then who they were looking for, and they told me their dad. I was indeed confused and had to ask the neighbours around who the kids are. Imagine kids of 3 yrs, 5 years 7 years and 15 years. When he came I told him his kids came and he hissed.

Now anytime I see his kids, I dont tell him because the last time he shouted at me, that he has heard.

Due to the fact i gave them money when i found out they were his kids, they ask me anytime they see me but unfortunately I stopped. I cant help someone who hates his kids. The few times they came when he was around he drove them away. Whenever I am there, he always drives them saying they are dirty.

First question how do I advise him? He always gets angry when I talk about the kids. He says he cant take care of them because he doesnt want to have anything doing with the mother of the kids. Even if he doesnt have atleast try. If it were only one child, I will say it was a mistake. But you gave birth to the second, third and fourth from same woman. It can't be a mistake.


One day I was talking to one of his numerous girlfriends and she told me that a man doesnt need to take care of the kids because they bear his name. Sorry but I hate poverty mentality. She said it's the work of the mother. I pray she has kids for him so he rejects them in Jesus name.

Then lastly I dont get him. He doesnt give any of his girlfriends money but last time I saw 4 of them fighting for him and he drove 3 out of the 4. Later I heard him begging them and now they are back.

If he had money I will understand. He is in his 40s. I hate people that neglect children and now everything about his presence irritates me because I treat women well. Please how do I advice him and what do the girls see in him? He is in his forties , I am 25 dont want him to take it personal. I want him to be serious with his life.


I might create a separate thread to explain his womanising attitude due to ambiguity.

NB: He goes for EVERY church program.

A fool at 40 is a fool forever, there is no advice you can give to him that he will listen to

All these irresponsible poor people, i hate them, they know how to Bleep around and born kids like rats.

Guy, Me Self Dey Wonder Why U Come Carry Ur Friend Matta For Head Like This. For Me, I No Fit Keep Friend Wey We No Fit Share A Common Value! Bond That Dude, Waka With Pesin Who Get Sense! Op, Na My Mind I Talk Soo...

Advice him to do what? You lots in Nigeria have it easy. Can decide to answer to no one and be useless. What a useless man.

If he was paying 12% of his gross weekly income on child maintenance, surely he wouldn’t have given birth to what he cant handle.

Just a joke of a country.

BBBmall25:
Guy, Me Self Dey Wonder Why U Come Carry Ur Friend Matta For Head Like This. For Me, I No Fit Keep Friend Wey We No Fit Share A Common Value! Bond That Dude, Waka With Pesin Who Get Sense! Op, Na My Mind I Talk Soo...

He is my electrician. Thank you very much.

I liked his work because was neat so we later started gisting and bonding. I use to help him before I found out how heartless he can be.

FROGMAN101:
Advice him to do what? You lots in Nigeria have it easy. Can decide to answer to no one and be useless. What a useless man.

If he was paying 12% of his gross weekly income on child maintenance, surely he wouldn’t have given birth to what he cant handle.

Just a joke of a country.

Thank you. You are very right. My only pain is I knew how my parents struggled to have 3 of us. God gave him freely and look at it.

Even him working for me, I am considering finding someone else. Birds of the same feather flock together. Not like he uses the money for any visible thing in his family.

He is poor and has 4 kids, yet he controls 4 girlfriends and he doesn’t spend on them?

Bro, that man has his life all figured out. There is nothing you can tell such a person that would change him.

Do not make the mistake of giving him a huge sum of money cos, he still wouldn’t take care of those children. If you want to help the kids, help their mother, but do it secretly.


Men should not be irresponsible and obstinate even in poverty.

Love892:
Thank you. You are very right. My only pain is I knew how my parents struggled to have 3 of us. God gave him freely and look at it.

You guys would need to stop that swelling population. It’s a farce. It’s going to be something the government won’t be able to handle in some years. There’s no plan. Sad many Nigerians are not enlightened on the problems ahead. “God dey God dey” won’t solve anything.

Goodluck.

lilwetdick:
A fool at 40 is a fool forever, there is no advice you can give to him that he will listen to

All these irresponsible poor people, i hate them, they know how to Bleep around and born kids like rats.

Thank you. I was trying to form a theory in my head. That maybe people really struggling to make ends meet are more focused and get joy when we get any thing. But these poor people get satisfaction from sex alone and they don't care. That's what am trying to understand

FROGMAN101:
Advice him to do what? You lots in Nigeria have it easy. Can decide to answer to no one and be useless. What a useless man.

If he was paying 12% of his gross weekly income on child maintenance, surely he wouldn’t have given birth to what he cant handle.

Just a joke of a country.

even if he was paying 12% of weekly income on child support he will still not meet up

Know that, that man is a deadbeat dad

lilwetdick:


even if he was paying 12% of weekly income on child support he will still not meet up

Know that, that man is a deadbeat dad

I guess that is the part of the luxuries of being an irresponsible NIgerian father. Freedom to be useless.

FROGMAN101:


I guess that is the part of the luxuries of being an irresponsible NIgerian father. Freedom to be useless.

lmao. Sounded funny . But it's true

Love892:
Thank you. I was trying to form a theory in my head. That maybe people really struggling to make ends meet are more focused and get joy when we get any thing. But these poor people get satisfaction from sex alone and they don't care. That's what am trying to understand

In Nigeria, the people with the most kids are poor people, that is because they think their children are farm tools hoping to receive reward like cash payback when one of the kids is successful, it is like a bet, they are always banking on one of their child and hopes he becomes financially successful to end their misery.

Many poor people have no sense of personal responsibility. long-term planning and delayed gratification is a big No in their lives but then they know how to blame BUHARI for all their problems

Like lilwetdick said A fool at 40 is a fool forever.


There is nothing you can do.

BBBmall25:
Guy, Me Self Dey Wonder Why U Come Carry Ur Friend Matta For Head Like This. For Me, I No Fit Keep Friend Wey We No Fit Share A Common Value! Bond That Dude, Waka With Pesin Who Get Sense! Op, Na My Mind I Talk Soo...

same lol

Dominique, mynd44, seun, lalasticlala please front page.

Need to know the opinion of others

AfroKnight:
He is poor and has 4 kids, yet he controls 4 girlfriends and he doesn’t spend on them?

Bro, that man has his life all figured out. There is nothing you can tell such a person that would change him.

Do not make the mistake of giving him a huge sum of money cos, he still wouldn’t take care of those children. If you want to help the kids, help their mother, but do it secretly.


Men should not be irresponsible and obstinate even in poverty.

Thank u

Minding your business is a full time job

Love892:
He is my electrician. Thank you very much.

I liked his work because was neat so we later started gisting and bonding. I use to help him before I found out how heartless he can be.

Ok, I Hope Now That U Know; The Right Thing Will Be Done, Goodluck!

When the kids grow up and wants nothing to the man but showering the mum with gifts instead, Nairaland boys will start wailing that its the mother that turned the children away from the dad. These kids are neither blind not stupid, they're seeing what's happening around them. Our men are getting more irresponsible by the day because no one is holding them accountable for their actions. I heard the case of a woman that went report her irresponsible husband to her in-laws. The MIL told her to work harder and stop waiting on a man to feed her and her kids then went on to preach about how women should self-sufficient etc. He neglects her and the kids and hardly contributes to their upkeep. He's also a blue collar worker like the one in the OP and there are times he makes good money from the jobs he gets, everything is squandered on beer palour and girlfriends. If his own people have absolved him of wrongdoing, who is going to call him to order that he will listen to?

@Op
There's absolutely nothing you can say or do to change such person that older and wiser people haven't done. He's almost 2 decades older than you, you think he'll listen to you? It's only a life changing event like a life-threatening sickness that can change a person like that. It's better you sever ties from him so he doesn't corrupt you with his lifestyle. You can help his kids if you can but it has to be only through their mother (whom I blame for having that many kids for an irresponsible man)

Whew! Please help through their mother. Find her out and see what you could do to help. As for the man, I know his kind and his day of reckoning is fast approaching.

Does he look like hes going to change? Abeg the children and their mom need food help at the very least. Help them if you can and save your advice for who needs it.

Can't be helped unfortunately.

The wise gods have presented him as your counterpart. Would you outpace him by bringing more children to burden society? What are the odds that you would turn out differently at 40?

I dey hear you say the gods forbid? The wise ones are watching.....

That man is an irresponsible class A dutchbag
I know how I feel when I see kids I don't even know begging or looking hungry and dirty,it sends a painful stroke down my spine not to talk of my own kids,I will die or become pennyless before my kids go hungry or wear rags
But why are some ladies like this? Flocking around a broke irresponsible man because of huge dic k or good sex,fish brain mofos

Love892:
Good day nairalanders. This story is not about me but a friend of mine who is a guy.

There is this guy who I know who is not financially buoyant but instead of him to look for money he keeps sleeping around. I will be brief with this story.

The man in question has 4 children who he doesnt take care of. The first day I saw them, I was at his place he does electrical works for me. He stepped out to buy something. When the kids came, they asked me for money. I didn't know them and they looked so dirty and you know usual Nigerian story, dont give beggars money anyhow. So I told them I had no idea who they were looking for. When he came back, I told him . He denied knowing any child talkless of children coming to his house. We even joked about parents who turn their kids to beggars and all.

The second time I went to look for him to do a job for me, I saw the children again and they still begged me for money. Then I was curious why it's only that particular house they come and ask for money. So I asked then who they were looking for, and they told me their dad. I was indeed confused and had to ask the neighbours around who the kids are. Imagine kids of 3 yrs, 5 years 7 years and 15 years. When he came I told him his kids came and he hissed.

Now anytime I see his kids, I dont tell him because the last time he shouted at me, that he has heard.

Due to the fact i gave them money when i found out they were his kids, they ask me anytime they see me but unfortunately I stopped. I cant help someone who hates his kids. The few times they came when he was around he drove them away. Whenever I am there, he always drives them saying they are dirty.

First question how do I advise him? He always gets angry when I talk about the kids. He says he cant take care of them because he doesnt want to have anything doing with the mother of the kids. Even if he doesnt have atleast try. If it were only one child, I will say it was a mistake. But you gave birth to the second, third and fourth from same woman. It can't be a mistake.


One day I was talking to one of his numerous girlfriends and she told me that a man doesnt need to take care of the kids because they bear his name. Sorry but I hate poverty mentality. She said it's the work of the mother. I pray she has kids for him so he rejects them in Jesus name.

Then lastly I dont get him. He doesnt give any of his girlfriends money but last time I saw 4 of them fighting for him and he drove 3 out of the 4. Later I heard him begging them and now they are back.

If he had money I will understand. He is in his 40s. I hate people that neglect children and now everything about his presence irritates me because I treat women well. Please how do I advice him and what do the girls see in him? He is in his forties , I am 25 dont want him to take it personal. I want him to be serious with his life.


I might create a separate thread to explain his womanising attitude due to ambiguity.

NB: He goes for EVERY church program.

A fool at 40 is a fool for ever.

That idiot will not change

What I will advice you to do is to send an anonymous email to social services telling them that the man's kids are being neglected intentionally by their father

He’s just one out of millions. How many will you advice and how many will you leave?

If you talk too much , he will start accusing you of having an affair with the mother of the kids. I wonder why some men think punishing their children because they don’t get along with their mom is a sensible thing to do.

Like ifyalways said, please help the children if you’re able to. Don’t bother with this man. He’s lost.

He will remember his family when he’s old or down with a terminal illness. Then his girlfriends will disappear. And then his family will start trying to guilt his children and the mother of his children into ‘virtuously’ caring for him in his old age or dying age.

His is a story everyone has witnessed at least once in their lifetime.

SavageResponse:


A fool at 40 is a fool for ever.

That idiot will not change

What I will advice you to do is to send an anonymous email to social services telling them that the man's kids are being neglected intentionally by their father

Social services? In this Nigeria.

Op even if you want to help through the children's mother, make sure she too is a responsible person.

Not to sound harsh but for the children to be very dirty and begging for money, I don't think she cares about them either.

I have an uncle like this, he didn't take care of his children, luckily for them, their mom is a hard worker and she took full responsibility for their care.

Now he is old and sick nobody to take care of him. He came to our house so my own mother will be the one to take care of him, mtchew for wetin na. We told him no way, it won't happen.

Love892:
Thank you. You are very right. My only pain is I knew how my parents struggled to have 3 of us. God gave him freely and look at it.

Even him working for me, I am considering finding someone else. Birds of the same feather flock together. Not like he uses the money for any visible thing in his family.

End of. Please do.