Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / NewStats: 3,194,763 members, 7,955,906 topics. Date: Sunday, 22 September 2024 at 06:18 PM |
Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Jokes Etc / More Christmas Jokes! (8571 Views)
Get Involved: Videos Of Your Best Christmas Jokes Wanted / Funny Christmas Jokes / Christmas Jokes For Ya'll: (2) (3) (4)
More Christmas Jokes! by EfemenaXY: 6:43pm On Nov 21, 2010 |
[size=18pt]Warning:[/size] All, this is light-hearted fun. If u ain't got a chill pill then pls keep on walking - jejely, nor stop for my joint abeg!! An updated Christmas story for the young 'uns! Chav nativity There's this bird called Mary, yeah? She's a virgin (wossat then?) She's not married or nuffink, but she's got this boyfriend, Joe, innit? He does joinery an' that. Mary lives with him in a crib dahn Nazaref. One day Mary meets this bloke Gabriel. She's like 'Oo ya lookin at?' Gabriel just goes 'You got one up the duff, you have.' Mary's totally gobsmacked. She gives it to him large 'Stop dissin' me yeah? I ain't no Kappa-slapper. I never bin wiv no one!' So Mary goes and sees her cousin Liz, who's six months gone herself. Liz is largin' it. She's filled with spirits, Barcardi Breezers an' that. She's like 'Orright, Mary, I can feel me bay-bee in me tummy and I reckon I'm well blessed. Think of all the extra benefits an' that we are gonna get.' Mary goes 'Yeah, s'pose you're right' Mary an' Joe ain't got no money so they have to ponse a donkey, an' go dahn Bethlehem on that. They get to this pub an' Mary wants to stop, yeah? To have her bay-bee an' that. But there ain't no room at the inn, innit? So Mary an' Joe break an' enter into this garridge, only it's filled wiv animals. Cahs an' sheep an' that. Then these three geezers turn up, looking proper bling, wiv crowns on their heads. They're like 'Respect, bay-bee Jesus', an' say they're wise men from the East End. Joe goes: 'If you're so wise, wotchoo doin' wiv this Frankenstein an' myrrh? Why dincha just bring gold, Adidas and Burberry?' It's all about to kick off when Gabriel turns up again an' sez he's got another message from this Lord geezer. He's like 'The police is comin an' they're killin all the bay-bees. You better nash off to Egypt.' Joe goes 'You must be monged if you think I'm goin' dahn Egypt on a minging donkey' Gabriel sez 'Suit yerself, pal. But it's your look out if you stay.' So they go dahn Egypt till they've stopped killin the first-born an' it's safe an' that. Then Joe and Mary and Jesus go back to Nazaref, an' Jesus turns water into Stella! |
Re: More Christmas Jokes! by MrBones2(m): 7:00pm On Nov 21, 2010 |
Gerra away jor. We no be yo! Men! |
Re: More Christmas Jokes! by EfemenaXY: 7:05pm On Nov 21, 2010 |
^^ I CANNOT FIT LAFF!! |
Re: More Christmas Jokes! by MrBones2(m): 7:09pm On Nov 21, 2010 |
How we ajegule boys go understand that funny trash? |
Re: More Christmas Jokes! by Madukaele(m): 7:14pm On Nov 21, 2010 |
Poster when should we laff? |
Re: More Christmas Jokes! by EfemenaXY: 7:15pm On Nov 21, 2010 |
just relax and open up your minds you'd be amazed at the endless possibilities!! Madukaele: after you've taken your chill pill?? |
Re: More Christmas Jokes! by MrBones2(m): 7:21pm On Nov 21, 2010 |
Babe thats surely unreadable wif those slangs. I no finish 3rd sentence. Anyways be not dismayed dear so thanks for the trial. |
Re: More Christmas Jokes! by EfemenaXY: 7:24pm On Nov 21, 2010 |
^^ really? okay - In that case, I go find simple jokes to pacify the simple minds wey dey Jokes Section |
Re: More Christmas Jokes! by MrBones2(m): 7:30pm On Nov 21, 2010 |
*scoffs* Simple minds ko sample minds ni. U urself u fit understand joke for latin, anyway u fit considering . . . . |
Re: More Christmas Jokes! by EfemenaXY: 7:31pm On Nov 21, 2010 |
Stop scoffing! na me 'spose to dey scoff at you! Latin? er. . .only on Sundays o! |
Re: More Christmas Jokes! by MrBones2(m): 7:37pm On Nov 21, 2010 |
Is true oh! Wetin una celebrate today ni? Cos ma road was taken by unwanted personalities |
Re: More Christmas Jokes! by EfemenaXY: 7:40pm On Nov 21, 2010 |
<screams wiff laffter!!!> na which one be unwanted personalities again?? 'n wetin u sef dey do for street corners? hmm?? |
Re: More Christmas Jokes! by MrBones2(m): 7:49pm On Nov 21, 2010 |
Efe jxt praise God say u no be me cos u fit commit genocide today. Coming home was such a tug of war. I don reach a street away but the procession was so thick that u fit use prick chok girl for yansh she no go feel am, I NO DO AM O(jxt for emphasis sake )! God i nearly lost it. Pray tell, what was it? Abi Jesus don return? |
Re: More Christmas Jokes! by EfemenaXY: 8:04pm On Nov 21, 2010 |
hahahaha!! oh vicks!! okay, I fit tell u - but what's in it for me?? hmm?? I nor dey do fruitless ventures |
Re: More Christmas Jokes! by MrBones2(m): 8:10pm On Nov 21, 2010 |
Oh lemme see **thinking** . . . (don't interrupt pls) |
Re: More Christmas Jokes! by EfemenaXY: 8:11pm On Nov 21, 2010 |
;d ;d ;d ;d ;d |
Re: More Christmas Jokes! by MrBones2(m): 8:13pm On Nov 21, 2010 |
Gosh! i hve to start from the beginning . . . . . . . .wait . . . . . |
Re: More Christmas Jokes! by MrBones2(m): 8:19pm On Nov 21, 2010 |
All right! How about a sexy slap? Deal? |
Re: More Christmas Jokes! by EfemenaXY: 8:28pm On Nov 21, 2010 |
Nope No Deal **Still waiting** |
Re: More Christmas Jokes! by MrBones2(m): 8:32pm On Nov 21, 2010 |
Oya baby no worry another will. imagine sucha lucrative offer. I pass |
Re: More Christmas Jokes! by EfemenaXY: 8:33pm On Nov 21, 2010 |
**scoffs** |
Re: More Christmas Jokes! by MrBones2(m): 8:36pm On Nov 21, 2010 |
One more golden chance |
Re: More Christmas Jokes! by EfemenaXY: 8:38pm On Nov 21, 2010 |
Okay, Shoot! |
Re: More Christmas Jokes! by MrBones2(m): 8:41pm On Nov 21, 2010 |
OK BRB. Lemme load ma gun |
Re: More Christmas Jokes! by EfemenaXY: 8:44pm On Nov 21, 2010 |
try not to overfill sha |
Re: More Christmas Jokes! by MrBones2(m): 9:00pm On Nov 21, 2010 |
*brandishes a double barrell gun* wey am? wey that lady wey dey do ma heart yori yori? |
Re: More Christmas Jokes! by EfemenaXY: 9:11pm On Nov 21, 2010 |
<shivers!> Oh sir, I think she went: That Way!! **Points towards the river Benue** |
Re: More Christmas Jokes! by MrBones2(m): 9:19pm On Nov 21, 2010 |
cho! first class murder MEHN. .God! Efe u said river benue? **flungs arms in air** I said they wont hear, the girl na mermaid. |
Re: More Christmas Jokes! by EfemenaXY: 9:21pm On Nov 21, 2010 |
but na dem dey fine pass - abi?? and na dem dey play yori-yori with your heart all day and all night long - yes? |
Re: More Christmas Jokes! by MrBones2(m): 9:27pm On Nov 21, 2010 |
Hmmmm so u know what yori yori means? Na dem be all in all concerning beauty wif extra bouty. Thats y . . . .*whistles* |
Re: More Christmas Jokes! by EfemenaXY: 9:31pm On Nov 21, 2010 |
. . .'n she pretends not to understand his statement |
Re: More Christmas Jokes! by MrBones2(m): 9:38pm On Nov 21, 2010 |
Ladies all over the world are known to be modest. Ah i remember that see through. . . . . Gosh it is happening (again). Anyway i'll ignore it. So y the shyness now? |
DOWNLOAD COMEDY: Mark Angel Comedy – Unlock Iphone (episode 156) / The Lizard And The Monkey / Coloured Peeps
(Go Up)
Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 33 |