For a Yoruba woman, a child is a beautiful, bountiful bundle of Joy from God. Culturally, without children, marriage is not complete.
That is why the mother-in-law often goes out of her way to find a fertile woman for her son. Yoruba women believe that family's lineage does not live on without the appearance of a child after the matrimonial vow.

My question is, why is it so hard for us to adopt? There are many homeless beggar children, esp Hausa-Fulani children, on the street nowadays. Why can't we, as the mothers of our society, learn to adopt children?

it won't be the same

Ileke-IdI:

For a Yoruba woman, a child is a beautiful, bountiful bundle of Joy from God. Culturally, without children, marriage is not complete.
That is why the mother-in-law often goes out of her way to find a fertile woman for her son. Yoruba women believe that family's lineage does not live on without the appearance of a child after the matrimonial vow.

My question is, why is it so hard for us to adopt? There are many homeless beggar children, esp Hausa-Fulani children, on the street nowadays. Why can't we, as the mothers of our society, learn to adopt children?

I didnt know adoption in Nigeria is limited to certain tribes,i thought anyone adopts when she cant bear the heat from in-laws or for whatever solid reason?
lol@Hausa Fulani kids.Are u talking abt the Almajiris ie street beggars?LMAO why wud sane person adopt them?
They are best reconciled with their families,put in school,taken to learn a trade or anything but adoption.

It is not the same thing as having your own kids. Like the Yoruba's would say "One day the child would ask for his/her parents"

r231:

it won't be the same

Yes, it wont the same. But instead of having 7 children, why not have some and adopt some?
Why don't people want to care for others nowadays?
What happened to our proverb "It takes 2 to give birth to a child, but 200 to bring up a child"?
Why do we continue to live as if our neighbors are not our business?
To ba je pe ki a ba omolomo wi ni, aa se. Sugbon to ba je pe ki a t'oju omolomo, ko s'eniyan to fe se iyen.

ifyalways:

I didnt know adoption in Nigeria is limited to certain tribes,i thought anyone adopts when she cant bear the heat from in-laws or for whatever solid reason?
lol@Hausa Fulani kids.Are u talking abt the Almajiris ie street beggars?LMAO why wud sane person adopt them?
They are best reconciled with their families,put in school,taken to learn a trade or anything but adoption.

It's not limited to tribe, my sister lol. But since I know more about the Yorubas, it's only safe to assume about them.
I know how the Yorubas loff to have many children, yet so many are left untended for.
Taking in children from in-laws and relative is another form of adoption too. You know, I wonder why many Nigerians are EXTRA brutal to children who are not biologically theirs. We need to change this mentality.
Throughout my years in Nigeria, I spend most of them living with my aunt. She was like a mother to me, never treated me different from her kids. Infact, I thought SHE was my mother
Nowadays, you have "adoptive" parents behaving like Cinderella's stepmother. What a shame.


As for the Hausa-Fulanis, why not? Actually, I'd loff to adopt one or two. They're so cute, and if brought up right, they'll be well-behaved.
Give them education, a roof to live under. Every child is the same, they turn out different later on in life because they were conditioned to different environments and cultures.
Or is there another reason?

oludashmi:

Yorubas do not believe that there is a woman on earth who should not have a child . . . that was why in those days, when a woman is about to get married, a member of either family gives out a boy/girl between the ages of 3 and 8, known as "omo iyawo/wifes's child" which will be given to the woman on her wedding day.

What?!! Kila gbo?! Really? And whose boy/girl would that be? I would never give out my child just bcause this so so is getting married.
You can have your own cild and still adopt, nothing wrong with it. Culture is killing our morals in Nigeria.

oludashmi:

Yorubas do not believe that there is a woman on earth who should not have a child . . . that was why in those days, when a woman is about to get married, a member of either family gives out a boy/girl between the ages of 3 and 8, known as "omo iyawo/wifes's child" which will be given to the woman on her wedding day.

She is expected to take good care of the child as her first child. It is believed that if she cares for the child and sends him/her around for domestic work, there is no way she will ever be barren cos the God of that child she cares for will make a way for divine children into her womb.

It was also believed that if a woman does not have children despite this, she should care for children around her home or wherever she comes across any child and she will be favoured from above. And according to history, it reeaaallllyy worked for them cos barrenness was a big news as it was never heard among women of any family.
This can also be interpreted as the child adoption of today.

In some cases if all attempt is made and the woman still doesnt have a child, wives usually advise their husbands to get married to another woman with a promise that she will join in taking care of the children of the new wife. This also worked for many women. Just to ensure that the lineage of that man does not perish.

But as time went on, women started feeling too civilized and independent and kicked against the "omo iyawo thing". But today all we hear and see day after day is the increasing "issues/child waiting stuff". Nevertheless, adoption is not a bad idea for such families and even families that already have children.

Hopefully, we'll soon become "too" civilized and kick against this issues surrounding adoption.

I think Nigerians adopt children more than we like to think but they are usually extended family or close friends' children, but it is adoption nonetheless. but I agree with you that we don't typically use the institutional orphanages to adopt kids and many who do adopt expect to have their own biological children.

Yoruba people value children for many reasons but one important reason is because in Nigeria, children are a form of social security. Who will take care of you when you are old?