Start attaching conditions and set goals/objectives to every financial assistance you give her and her family. Make it clear that this objectives must be met before any further assistance will be given. This will help them appreciate the value of money more and hopefully help them establish themselves in the long run. If you like this idea then contact me for me details.

i was tempted to abuse yur cousin's husbnd for being irresponsible both financially and mentally but i gave it a second thot since i havent heard his part of d story pertaining to what he uses money for. i still dont understnd d reason why they keep breeding kids wen they arent financially capable of fending for them. maybe they forgot nothing last forever because there will surely be a point when you wud tell then NO!enof of all this entitlement. lemme share a little of my story. i impregnated my gf in 2015 while in my 300l while she was in 200l. we got the moral and financial support from our families. i finished serving in 2017 and i have been jobless since then despite being one the best brains in class. some peers have been pushing me to take my girl and our kid who is now 4years old in since i have family that will be supporting us. wont i be a fool if i heed to that idea?.i aint doing shit until i have a source of income cos i cant be a burden to anyone .moreover ,we have together to spend together so am taking chill pills.. moral of the story, talk to your cousin about being self reliant cos with the way i digested this story, no mtter how much you give to them,they will always come back for more. set her a business and implore her to manage it efficiently because you will never give money to her again then try as much as possible to be sending the boy in sch monthly stipend thru his student account. dont mind her xcuse tat an under 18 cant open account, thats a lie. God bless you sir and may u neva retrogress

dominique:
I still can't phathom why people without stable means of income keep bringing in children into the world, not fair on the kids at all

childrens especially femail childrens are blessings from God. Please don't discourage parents from burning them, God will always provide for them

pocohantas:
You are very correct Ishi, but sometimes you look at those innocent kids and you can't ignore. I wish we has social service here. Bringing innocent kids into the workd to suffer is a crime or should be a crime.

Make person no do the generousity wey go land you for wahala. I am getting tougher sha.

Gold Circle condom na 100 naira. Even investing in the more expensive and natural feeling ones makes more sense than bringing innocent children into world without provision for their care.

Even if you can't ignore, their parents need to be called to order.

Ishilove:

Gold Circle condom na 100 naira. Even investing in the more expensive and natural feeling ones makes more sense than bringing innocent children into world without provision for their care.

Even if you can't ignore, their parents need to be called to order.

Ishi is finally coming round to the fact that gold circle delivers a sub par experience.

J111333:
This is personal so please be courteous with your comments.

I have a married female cousin who takes church serious more than her life, well I don't wanna waste your time with that part of the story.

I have tried to help her husband and her financially for a long time now and I'm afraid I've turned from helper to head of household, not funny. I jokingly told them to hang their boots after they had their fourth child but as I'm typing this, baby five just landed.

Their first son just got admitted into Unilag and guess who they called to help. I've severally decided to stop helping but thoughts of those lovely kids of theirs have always affected my decisions.

I told the newly college admitted boy to open a bank account so that I can channel my help properly but her mum said he wasn't 18 yet so she would be the one running the account until then.

A little background story.

My cousin is a graduate but helps her husband in an imaginary business of his which I have put in like N10m if not more yet nothing to show for it. I later switched to helping my cousin get a job, she ended up getting duped of the money meant to pursue the job Nigerianly.

She was/is my favourite cousin growing up and she was more than a nanny to my sister and I when we were little.

How can I put an end to this madness without feeling guilty about the kids? Mind you, I love their kids very much.

Your cousin and her husband have taken you to be their ATM. They will never be serious in as far as you are there to always dole out the cash.

I know of a case like this. The woman's sister has two kids and was doing well with her husband. Her sister was doing nothing with her husband. They were just birthing kids saying that God said 'go ye and multiply'. They had four kids with the husband being unemployed. The sister too was not doing anything. The sister decided to take one kid off them and used her connections to get one into a boarding school and also was footing the bill in order to lessen the burden on them. The sister and her husband saw it as an opportunity to birth another child as they said God said 'Go ye and multiply'. This got her annoyed that she returned the child she took to them and also stopped paying for the one in school. That was when their eyes were opened. The husband started running all over the place since to feed became a problem and no free money was coming again from his sister-in-law. The sister husband is now working and leaves the house very early Monday to Friday and come back late.

"Na person wen chop belleful and sit down for house all day long dey get energy to dey hammer woman all day".

They have not given birth to another kid for close to five years now. Man no dey stay for house again. Woman no dey stay for house again. Woman dey manage one small teaching job that the pay is not even regular.

Continue helping them.

I don't see any thing bad in what you are doing for the family. The fifth child might be mistake pregnancy.

Look, in our extended family, my late uncle was our god, our benefactor, our guardian, our provider etc.

Three surat quraish to him.

Ishilove:

Gold Circle condom na 100 naira. Even investing in the more expensive and natural feeling ones makes more sense than bringing innocent children into world without provision for their care.

Even if you can't ignore, their parents need to be called to order.

if i talk now you will gang up against me and send me to nairaland prison to go do Christmas

My brother forget all these people with their advise . There's one thing in life you need to know even as a Muslim you must carry one cross in this life. Unless your means of income is not growing like before , but Bro pinch yourself and ask yourself will she think this way about you if you are Inot her shoes ? Forget Bro continue this good works . Call the husband as a man you are talk to him advise him . Look into the man's ways of spending because he might be spending this money recklessly and your sister is not aware of it . And you know ladies they will defend their own .

Bro, if your business is booming and from the thing you said you love your sister carry this cross the blessings attached to it you might not see today or tomorrow when it will come you will ask God so is because I helped someone you did this wonderful thing for me .

Again call your sister separately will love and pet names so she won't feel bad , talk to her let her know she needs to stand in a good business and you will support her to stand . Don't listen to advise of people who will give you wrong notion. Even from the little I have I carry lots of families. Instead pray to God not to bless you not for your own seek but for the seek of the people you help . I know necessities breeds innovation but Bro the economy is not favorable at all how do you want them to stand . I will caution you to ask God for forgiveness for bringing this issues to this platform. Believe me your pocket will multiple in 100 fold , don't take that decision. What about the kids you said you love what will they do . Please carry that cross and ask Allah to bless you just for the seek of those kids . Be wise because you can't mock Allah who gave you without your knowledge so give with joy . Let it sink only if you like .

Wow

You have done so great for you cousin. i believe that God really sees your helping heart and he will continue to bless and protect you. please keep doing what you think is best to you and never follow any ones advise. please i'm always in financial need and i would love you to assist me. my acct Detail: ADESINA STEVEN AJIBOLA....... ACCESS/DIAMOND BANK........... 0023830047. Thanks in anticipation.

J111333:
I don't think I can or will have time to always pay the fees, I reside very far away from them right now.
I thought of stipend but the thought of them depending on it made me had a rethink because I know my cousin.

healthserve:
I'll wait here for the elders

Oya

Daddytime

Pansophist

Franchasng

Midnighter

.

Richdad50

J111333:
This is personal so please be courteous with your comments.

I have a married female cousin who takes church serious more than her life, well I don't wanna waste your time with that part of the story.

I have tried to help her husband and her financially for a long time now and I'm afraid I've turned from helper to head of household, not funny. I jokingly told them to hang their boots after they had their fourth child but as I'm typing this, baby five just landed.

Their first son just got admitted into Unilag and guess who they called to help. I've severally decided to stop helping but thoughts of those lovely kids of theirs have always affected my decisions.

I told the newly college admitted boy to open a bank account so that I can channel my help properly but her mum said he wasn't 18 yet so she would be the one running the account until then.

A little background story.

My cousin is a graduate but helps her husband in an imaginary business of his which I have put in like N10m if not more yet nothing to show for it. I later switched to helping my cousin get a job, she ended up getting duped of the money meant to pursue the job Nigerianly.

She was/is my favourite cousin growing up and she was more than a nanny to my sister and I when we were little.

How can I put an end to this madness without feeling guilty about the kids? Mind you, I love their kids very much.

you have tried as a human, but i still feel if u have the capacity to help, don't stop there is a special blessing attached to it. I'm saying this because it works for me. And One of the reasons we make money is to help people around us.

You have done so great for your cousin. i believe that God really sees your helping heart and he will continue to bless and protect you. please keep doing what you think is best to you and never follow any ones advise. please i'm always in financial need and i would love you to assist me. my acct Detail: ADESINA STEVEN AJIBOLA....... ACCESS/DIAMOND BANK........... 0023830047. Thanks in anticipation.

J111333:
This is personal so please be courteous with your comments.

I have a married female cousin who takes church serious more than her life, well I don't wanna waste your time with that part of the story.

I have tried to help her husband and her financially for a long time now and I'm afraid I've turned from helper to head of household, not funny. I jokingly told them to hang their boots after they had their fourth child but as I'm typing this, baby five just landed.

Their first son just got admitted into Unilag and guess who they called to help. I've severally decided to stop helping but thoughts of those lovely kids of theirs have always affected my decisions.

I told the newly college admitted boy to open a bank account so that I can channel my help properly but her mum said he wasn't 18 yet so she would be the one running the account until then.

A little background story.

My cousin is a graduate but helps her husband in an imaginary business of his which I have put in like N10m if not more yet nothing to show for it. I later switched to helping my cousin get a job, she ended up getting duped of the money meant to pursue the job Nigerianly.

She was/is my favourite cousin growing up and she was more than a nanny to my sister and I when we were little.

How can I put an end to this madness without feeling guilty about the kids? Mind you, I love their kids very much.

I don't see anything wrong in helping ur cousin. Family is family. For me it's unfair 2 abandon d children cox of d parents poor choice and inaction.

I love my uncle's children so much. I can extra mile 4 them.

Wow

The rich only eat organic grown food.

midnighter:


Na dem

Just shut up ok?

keep doing wat u can

ornicus:


Ishi is finally coming round to the fact that gold circle delivers a sub par experience.

No be you tell me sey Gold Circle feels like polythene bag?

Ur cousin husband no pure (waffi language). No go ki urserf o...If e get anyway u fit take care of the children pls do...but those 2 adults....

I've learnt that helping family members is a lifetime commitment you will never stop if you are the type that is always seriously emotionally committed to family. Take heart Bro. Just don't try to please them to the detriment of your own peace of mind or that of your immediate family. If you have excess always continue to help. That is what family is meant for. You are just the God they are seeing. Do the one you can and leave the rest to them and God

Maybe you should discuss with her husband so he can venture into a more profitable business.

dominique:
I still can't phathom why people without stable means of income keep bringing in children into the world, not fair on the kids at all

Because the kids are their fantasy to living in paradise as well as bank in this case

nlPoster:


I dont even get the gist of the story.

He mentioned church, then switched themes to the older son is in university and the parents are having baby 5. The wife is not working, then helping the husband with an imaginary business op gave her a non existent N10 million for, op helped her find a job, then she was swindled of the money (which money?) Op wants to sponsor the kid in university but doesnt want the parent involved, etc etc.

He seems to have no financial issues. He seems to be worried only about the financial illiteracy of his cousin and her husband. He seems to want to help in spite of everything he knows.

Then a sure way is if he adopts their son in the university.

Throwing money in her business or setting her up will not amount to anything except if he gives it to them as a loan. BUT a big financial burden will KILL any small business.

J111333 open an account, drive to Akoka and hand over the ATM to him

Give them help only when you can and don't give them when you don't have enough. Simple and short

LadySarah:
This hunger in Nigeria isnt reaching some ppl at all.
Five kids!!

There are some couples who don't believe in condoms , hence if they have unprotected sex, pregnancy will occur

Built2last:
I was in this your mess for 9 years. Every Family member called me for school fees and feeding money.

My wife could not understand why i have chosen to bear the burden of everyone.

I couldn't do major investments i needed to do. Sometimes delayed paying salaries of my staff.

2015. i went home and visited all my uncles, told them to choose a business they can do and i will settle them with it. on the condition that they do not call me for money again. My wife suggested that. Made sure their wives were in agreement with what their husbands have agreed. in fact, my eldest uncle said the wife will run the business.

They were excited about it but never knew i will get them to sign that i won't be contacted for money after i settle them. Got one of my cousins to run the project. i never gave the money to any of them because they will tell me stories that touch.

When the shops were paid for and well stocked, i went back and called a meeting. they all got to know that their requests have been granted.

what i wanted to achieve was desire to succeed among them. Again, didn't want anyone to think i was giving money to A and not to B.

Setting up those businesses for them cost me millions but was a life saver for me.

Nobody disturbs me for money anymore. My own business is free from unnecessary stress.

I wanted them to know that making money is not easy. The lesson is well served.

I only remember their kids in Christmas.

if you like born 100 kids. not my business anymore. If the business fails. Their kids will descend on them.

Bro, free yourself. you will wake up at 50 to discover your retirement is close and nothing to enjoy in your old age.

Good sense bro especially if you are bouyant enough to do that. It also requires methodical planning.

You put in 10m already and nothing to show for it, please try to convince me more.

#Richdad poor dad

No matter how much you continue to spend on them, the thing is that they will continue to ask for more. Oh, maybe you Want To try help them set up businesses, and you give them money, just watch it, it'll still be the same story.
It's All about the mindset. I know people who 1,000 naira changef heir lives and right now theyre living big.
You have to stand your ground. But try to help them mentally, I mean to change their mindset. Doing that can help them become successful with little money.

Tales by moonlight

midnighter:
Better start prioritising your own investments and stop financing somebody else's stupidity. Call them and tell them you're not paying anything except school fees. Set up a direct debit to the school and make a good contact there

If the tables turn and you can no longer keep up those kids will still grow up to curse that their stupid uncle ...hope you know that?

Since she takes the church more seriously than her life let the church sink more money into the fantastical business.

By the way, the Bible has a lot to say about wise spending. Or she didn't see that side or what

Bunch of selfish pseudo-religious leeches. She took care of you as a child and now you must take care of her as an adult right? Somebody with a husband for that matter.

10 million! 10 million.

Op... J111333 .... don't listen to crap talk like that of this e-witch. It will land you in trouble that will last forever.


Stop overlooking that first son about to get in Unilag. Call him and sit his ass down and talk. Promise him support till NYSC and then he takes over his family as a man.

Tell him honestly that you can't be both breadwinner for his family and yours but you will fight to train him and then he trains his siblings and takes care of his family. In the meantime, as you do your best for the family and leave the rest you will always have an inside ally in that boy. If you just walk away they will all be your enemy and you may never be able to fix things.

Your sister is right, don't give the boy all the money. Give it to your sister. I don't think she will missuse it, women don't play with first son's training. But the father will definitely misuse it.

As time goes on, whoever they ask for money tell them you've given what you have to their first son's education. Your income will not last forever, it must slow or stop one day. Let that day start now.

Your sister and her husband need a wake up call or your will regret it if ever you have problems and need help. They will not be able to help you but will hate you for not helping them anyway. People are just that way..... greedy as hell.