Dating A Nigerian Guy: Should I Keep It On? Help Me Please

Hey y'all, I'm a Chinese girl,and i'm dating a Nigerian guy, he came to china for his family business and we stayed together over 2yrs,but i don't know whether there is any good future in the relationship or not,see he's a foreigner to me,so he sure will go back to his country someday.Actually i heard lot bad things about Nigerian guys who have business in china(Sorry to say it),either they dump their girls when they go back to Nigeria or play with them, So please, help me, I'm so confused about the relationship, what can I do?

i don't know what kind of help your seeking from us. do you want us to tell you whether you should leave him or stay with him? 

if you think or know he's going back to his country, then don't expect the relationship to last if he doesn't plan on ever coming back to your region or taking you with him. in the end, it's not what we say that matters, it's up to the both of you

ps: u got dis thread like three times? wtf?

ghettochyk:

i don't know what kind of help your seeking from us. do you want us to tell you whether you should leave him or stay with him?

if you think or know he's going back to his country, then don't expect the relationship to last if he doesn't plan on ever coming back to your region or taking you with him. in the end, it's not what we say that matters, it's up to the both of you

ps: u got this thread like three times? wtf?

Here's the thing.i talked abt this issue several times with him,but he asked me not to push him,the fact is im not pushing him,i just wanna know his mind.The help i want from u guys/sis is to know how to talk with my bf abt this issue and make him not to think that im pushing him

well, i aint no Dr. Phil but all i can say is just wait and see. that is , take everything slow so that if anything goes wrong, you will not be left feeling used or with a broken heart. it will also depend on how long you two have been dating and how on which level you two are currently on.

ghettochyk:

well, i aint no Dr. Phil but all i can say is just wait and see. that is , take everything slow so that if anything goes wrong, you will not be left feeling used or with a broken heart. it will also depend on how long you two have been dating and how on which level you two are currently on.

well we have been stayed together over 2yrs now, another is i may move to canada next yr,i dont kn whether i should leave the relationship or keep it on

ask him if he has any long term plans for ur future and then make your decisions from his reply. I find it hard though to figure how u can live 2 yrs with a man and not know whether your relationship is feasible in the long term. Is he merely using you as a stop gap for when he goes back home? you have to find out. What are his plans? those should not be difficult questions to ask.

If he claims you're pushing him it may be because he doesnt see much promise in your relationship and will dump u eventually.

since he keeps telling you not to push and two-years is mos def not two weeks, girl, you're definitely going to have to sit his behind down and talk about the future of your relationship from there, you may know what to do. but really, that kinda statement seems like it would come from someone dat may already know which road y'all are heading.
two years is a long time, but either way, no one can predict the future. so like every other situation, y'all are going to have to wait it out. whatever happens happens. if it was meant to be, it will be. you or he may end up with a broken heart in the end, but that is part of the risks of entering a relationship. no use trying to figure out if it will last especially if you two aint married to each other yet.

@ Jesqueen

I'm sorry to say this, but seems you guys have been moving on the wrong grounds
Like David said, Two years is a long time to be in an adult relationship (teenage relationships are different), and yet not know what direction you're heading. Like i said, love has a boundary, you can't wait up feet and hands only to wake up one "very late" morning to realize it was all a fling (an "x" years fling??).

Haven't you heard that you should make hay while the sun shines??

You're convinced he's moving back to his country for good sooner or later (something you should have laid fingers on for the two whole years you've been dating), I don't generalize, but i find it difficuilt to think/believe he has any plans of taking you along, and even if he was to suggest that, are you willing to go down to Nigeria with him??
You have some "thinking" to do too, young lady (if you aren't young, I'm sorry for assuming)

I don't agree with "waiting and seeing" in a case like this ooh, take a last step and ask him again. This time do it like you mean it, and pour out your heart to him like you just did to us, tell him "you're not pushing him, you just want to know where you guys are headed to" short and simple. If he can't answer that, then he def. has something up his sleeves. And you said you're leaving for Canada sometime soon, what happens then??

Hmmm, the decision of whether to stay or walk, i'll leave in your hands, but before that you have your love-puzzle to fill in the gaps, until then , you don't have a foundation for any decision. Good luck sha, it shall be well

davidylan:

ask him if he has any long term plans for your future and then make your decisions from his reply. I find it hard though to figure how u can live 2 years with a man and not know whether your relationship is feasible in the long term. Is he merely using you as a stop gap for when he goes back home? you have to find out. What are his plans? those should not be difficult questions to ask.

If he claims you're pushing him it may be because he doesnt see much promise in your relationship and will dump u eventually.

i asked him abt his plan,but he said he never made any plan for anythin,wait n see is the only thing he always does

wales:

Hey, you will need to tell us if the guy is a yoruba guy or igbo guy, for you can not just say the guy is from Nigeria which with this we may be able to tell you or two things about the kind of person he may be.

As for you are you sure you are a chico girl

he is a igbo guy
P.S what is a chico girl?

ghettochyk:

since he keeps telling you not to push and two-years is mos def not two weeks, girl, you're definitely going to have to sit his behind down and talk about the future of your relationship from there, you may know what to do. but really, that kind of statement seems like it would come from someone that may already know which road y'all are heading.
two years is a long time, but either way, no one can predict the future. so like every other situation, y'all are going to have to wait it out. whatever happens happens. if it was meant to be, it will be. you or he may end up with a broken heart in the end, but that is part of the risks of entering a relationship. no use trying to figure out if it will last especially if you two aint married to each other yet.

sure i want to talk ,but he doesnt want to. he said that i have to make a decision by my own without his opinion

Jesqueen:

i asked him about his plan,but he said he never made any plan for anythin,wait n see is the only thing he always does

in dat case, i'd forget his azz. and with the way his words sound coming from you, he don't seem too serious and the relationship wouldn't have made it to 2 years if it was me.

cute-ass:

@ Jesqueen

I'm sorry to say this, but seems you guys have been moving on the wrong grounds
Like David said, Two years is a long time to be in an adult relationship (teenage relationships are different), and yet not know what direction you're heading. Like i said, love has a boundary, you can't wait up feet and hands only to wake up one "very late" morning to realize it was all a fling (an "x" years fling??).

Haven't you heard that you should make hay while the sun shines??

You're convinced he's moving back to his country for good sooner or later (something you should have laid fingers on for the two whole years you've been dating), I don't generalize, but i find it difficuilt to think/believe he has any plans of taking you along, and even if he was to suggest that, are you willing to go down to Nigeria with him??
You have some "thinking" to do too, young lady (if you aren't young, I'm sorry for assuming)

I don't agree with "waiting and seeing" in a case like this ooh, take a last step and ask him again. This time do it like you mean it, and pour out your heart to him like you just did to us, tell him "you're not pushing him, you just want to know where you guys are headed to" short and simple. If he can't answer that, then he def. has something up his sleeves. And you said you're leaving for Canada sometime soon, what happens then??

Hmmm, the decision of whether to stay or walk, i'll leave in your hands, but before that you have your love-puzzle to fill in the gaps, until then , you don't have a foundation for any decision. Good luck sha, it shall be well

well he never say that he must go back to his country,not exactly the words,but he did say that nigeria is his home,so i guess he may go back.
you see,he's the one who doesnt wanna talk abt this,not me,
im 22,i think im young hun

ghettochyk:

in that case, i'd forget his azz. and with the way his words sound coming from you, he don't seem too serious and the relationship wouldn't have made it to 2 years if it was me.

yea i feel you sis,but he always says that he 's too old to play a game n i think too much

wales:

I mean are you a China girl or what

yea im a chinese girl, why?

u chinese dating a nigerian, hmmmmmmmmm, so hw old is the nigerian?

acidrop:

u chinese dating a nigerian, hmmmmmmmmm, so hw old is the nigerian?

any problem that a chinese is dating a nigerian
he's 32~

wales:

Men, i find it hard to take, may be that is why the guy is finding hard to move on with you hope you understand what i mean by MOVE UP.

why it's hard to take??just speak it up plzzzzzzzzzzz

Jesqueen:

any problem that a chinese is dating a nigerian
he's 32~

no there is no problem, y are u scared anyway, u keep repeating it as if there is a problem? wat makes u think u cant go on in d affair

[/quote][quote author=acidrop link=topic=56081.msg1150471#msg1150471 date=1180326224]
no there is no problem, y are u scared anyway, u keep repeating it as if there is a problem? what makes u think u can't go on in d affair

oh hell no im not scared in anyway,i just worry abt it,
he's a igbo guy,so any info abt igbo guy?

igbos are hot, and u just lucky 2 have one, y u want info on igbo guys 4, well, we dont go about looking for infos about chinese peeps b4 we go out with them

acidrop:

igbos are hot, and u just lucky 2 have one, y u want info on igbo guys 4, well, we don't go about looking for infos about chinese peeps before we go out with them

ah ah u dont wanna go out with chinese guy(sorry to say it),
just tell me sth abt igbos plzzzzzzzzzzzzz, wanna kn more abt them

wat exactly do u want 2 know, they are usually hot, and just like everyother guys, nothing unique or different

@ jas,

u there?

Hi Jesqueen,
I am going to be straight with you, take everything this man says to you at face value, tread lightly! if you were my sister, i would ask you to leave him because i can see some signs of a man who doesnt want to commit. "Dont rush me", "wait and see", I dont know about anyone else, but when a man starts saying these words, Nigerian or not, it is clear this man is not ready to commit. The ball is in your court, if you are moving to canada like you said, then enjoy the relationship while it lasts and be on your merry way. I know a lot of people are being careful about saying the wrong thing, but i will tell you straight, He wont marry you! Igbo men like to marry Igbo women! end of story!

BabyCakes:

Hi Jesqueen,
I am going to be straight with you, take everything this man says to you at face value, tread lightly! if you were my sister, i would ask you to leave him because i can see some signs of a man who doesnt want to commit. "Dont rush me", "wait and see", I don't know about anyone else, but when a man starts saying these words, Nigerian or not, it is clear this man is not ready to commit. The ball is in your court, if you are moving to canada like you said, then enjoy the relationship while it lasts and be on your merry way. I know a lot of people are being careful about saying the wrong thing, but i will tell you straight, He wont marry you! Igbo men like to marry Igbo women! end of story!

u r really straight, those words are , but i will still appreciate u for giving me ur opinion~
so thank you

promise72:

@ jas,

u there?

yup im here.whatz up?

is it true that nigerian guys want their gfs completely submissive to them?

Jesqueen:

is it true that nigerian guys want their gfs completely submissive to them?

Not at all. Each person is different and unique. There are always some who want to hark back to olden times values but that is not the majority. There are plenty of capable and successful Nigerian women who are very much in demand.

Respect is what we place a premium on, not submissiveness.