Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 3,152,600 members, 7,816,492 topics. Date: Friday, 03 May 2024 at 11:55 AM

Insecurity Issue In The Family - Family - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Insecurity Issue In The Family (1465 Views)

The Husband Is The Head Of The Family? / How Do You Handle Incest Issue In A Family? / How Your Birth Position In The Family Can Influence Your Personality (2) (3) (4)

(1) (2) (Reply) (Go Down)

Insecurity Issue In The Family by buknija: 11:59pm On Feb 03, 2020
my dear husbands and wives in the house, there is a matter that bothers the most in my family, which is a major cause of concern to me the most. My wife is a care free and no cautious woman when it comes to the kids. Security wise, she has zero concern, she blvs she can trust anybody. I dont want to say much, its been going on for years in different forms, leave kids in the house with worker or house maid, the recent one is my daughter told me today that when they went out yesterday, after trimming low her hair cut, her barber had asked for a lift to 7up which is way far from and not in no way a route to home. She said she branched to get food at a restaurant and left she and her little brother in the car with the barber. That she wanted to let me know because she was aware of the fact that mummy should not leave us with strangers. I spoke to her of this and she got on the defensive. Dear fathers, how would you have handled this situation, because my asking her this now turned out to be that i am thinking otherwise about she and the barber, leaving the major issue of security which was what my worry was about.
Re: Insecurity Issue In The Family by Topxcel: 12:19am On Feb 04, 2020
U will need ur wife to be on d same page with u on ds issue. Very critical.
Either u tactfully address it if all other loving methods have failed or u begin to monitor d kids ur self more closely, hoping ur wife realizes her mistakes and take correction.

1 Like

Re: Insecurity Issue In The Family by ahnie: 12:30am On Feb 04, 2020
Who does that in this century?
See I don't trust anybody with my kids.. not even my shadow that walks with me every moment of my life!











.....


Oga talk your wife ....even if you have to use loud speaker to drum it into her ears!

5 Likes

Re: Insecurity Issue In The Family by buknija: 12:37am On Feb 04, 2020
I have tried my best, both in a loving approach and a "change am for you" tactics, its remains the same way. I have always tried to be diplomatic with my approach, None seems to work. Over the years, once am not there, she plays to her own rules, not what we agree upon.
Re: Insecurity Issue In The Family by Liliyann(f): 4:49am On Feb 04, 2020
I hate nagging husband undecided
You think it's easy caring for kids and the home while one person sits in one place giving orders?
You are just being paranoid!
I bet if you should switch role in a day, you will collapse!
Lastly, mind the way you talk to your wife in front of your children. For your daughter to report the mum to you for chastisement is outrightly disrespectful and means she can't trust the mother to take care of them. Don't encourage her! Immediately she brought the tale to you, the least you could have done is to tell her, mummy has her reasons and not to bother then you can correct your wife in your bedroom without the children hearing!!

14 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Insecurity Issue In The Family by Foodqueen(f): 5:59am On Feb 04, 2020
I pray she doesn't learn the hard way. That's all I have to say smiley

1 Like

Re: Insecurity Issue In The Family by buknija: 9:29am On Feb 04, 2020
Liliyann:
I hate nagging husband undecided
You think it's easy caring for kids and the home while one person sits in one place giving orders?
You are just being paranoid!
I bet if you should switch role in a day, you will collapse!
Lastly, mind the way you talk to your wife in front of your children. For your daughter to report the mum to you for chastisement is outrightly disrespectful and means she can't trust the mother to take care of them. Don't encourage her! Immediately she brought the tale to you, the least you could have done is to tell her, mummy has her reasons and not to bother then you can correct your wife in your bedroom without the children hearing!!

You jyst chatted the greatest shit of your lifetime, why are sexist so extremely insensitive like this? My daughter did the right thing by reporting that they were left with a stranger, if the kids were kidnapped, would this ur stupid statement you made come off ur head? Hell no. I work my ass out to make sure everything is fine, i take care of the kids too, we have an housemaid, she rarely does much for the kids, so hush up if you dont know more about whats going on around here. Says am nagging over insecurity of my children, i doubt ur married, even if u are, u must be barren.

21 Likes 1 Share

Re: Insecurity Issue In The Family by Graxie(f): 9:33am On Feb 04, 2020
Liliyann:
I hate nagging husband undecided
You think it's easy caring for kids and the home while one person sits in one place giving orders?
You are just being paranoid!
I bet if you should switch role in a day, you will collapse!
Lastly, mind the way you talk to your wife in front of your children. For your daughter to report the mum to you for chastisement is outrightly disrespectful and means she can't trust the mother to take care of them. Don't encourage her! Immediately she brought the tale to you, the least you could have done is to tell her, mummy has her reasons and not to bother then you can correct your wife in your bedroom without the children hearing!!
You are very stupid for making this post, do you have kids? You claim to be a woman and you are not seeing or reading how children are being expose to rapists and pedophile. What brand of stupidity is this?

8 Likes

Re: Insecurity Issue In The Family by Graxie(f): 9:40am On Feb 04, 2020
Op, your wife is free to be non chalant about her life but definitely not with your kids. Please involve people she respects and let them know enough is enough. You have to be serious about it, don't expose your kids to rapists. How can a woman be this insensitive with her kids? I hope you are in charge of your home, give her fire by dismissing every maid, make the environment uncomfortable until she realises that kids are precious. Enough of the petting, her kind of person won't even listen when her kids complain. No wonder in civilize clime, they take those kids away from such mother. Be fast in protecting your children.

2 Likes

Re: Insecurity Issue In The Family by PrimadonnaO(f): 10:12am On Feb 04, 2020
Some people tend to be too trusting and think that there's no evil in the world just because they've never had a close call or personal experience.

Lilayann made one valid point, at least. Don't chastise your wife in the presence of the kids. You may end up leaving her with uncontrollable children or kids who don't respect her.
The matter of security is quite serious, and I wonder how her maternal instincts even allow her to be lax about this.

Tell her you don't care if she thinks you're paranoid, but that should anything happen to your kids, you won't forgive her. And then, pray, too.

4 Likes

Re: Insecurity Issue In The Family by Liliyann(f): 10:16am On Feb 04, 2020
buknija:


You jyst chatted the greatest shit of your lifetime, why are sexist so extremely insensitive like this? My daughter did the right thing by reporting that they were left with a stranger, if the kids were kidnapped, would this ur stupid statement you made come off ur head? Hell no. I work my ass out to make sure everything is fine, i take care of the kids too, we have an housemaid, she rarely does much for the kids, so hush up if you dont know more about whats going on around here. Says am nagging over insecurity of my children, i doubt ur married, even if u are, u must be barren.

Your reply just described the kind of man you're undecided
I pity the poor woman that got married to you, bringing your problem here, shows you're not fit to be a man!!
Your last comment is quite insensitive to any TTC woman, unfortunately for you, I'm not so I guess you will kill yourself undecided

9 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Insecurity Issue In The Family by ecstasy357(m): 10:20am On Feb 04, 2020
ahnie:
Who does that in this century?
See I don't trust anybody with my kids.. not even my shadow that walks with me every moment of my life!



And if she doesn't, would you suggest he becomes physical?







.....


Oga talk your wife ....even if you have to use loud speaker to drum it into her ears!


Re: Insecurity Issue In The Family by ecstasy357(m): 10:24am On Feb 04, 2020
buknija:


You jyst chatted the greatest shit of your lifetime, why are sexist so extremely insensitive like this? My daughter did the right thing by reporting that they were left with a stranger, if the kids were kidnapped, would this ur stupid statement you made come off ur head? Hell no. I work my ass out to make sure everything is fine, i take care of the kids too, we have an housemaid, she rarely does much for the kids, so hush up if you dont know more about whats going on around here. Says am nagging over insecurity of my children, i doubt ur married, even if u are, u must be barren.

Bros, there are paedophiles everywhere...forget that Lilian and encourage your daughter to keep relating issues to you since your wife dont wanna do what's right for the family.

1 Like

Re: Insecurity Issue In The Family by ecstasy357(m): 10:25am On Feb 04, 2020
ahnie:
Who does that in this century?
See I don't trust anybody with my kids.. not even my shadow that walks with me every moment of my life!



God bless you. Try talk to that Lilian make she treat her own children with love







.....


Oga talk your wife ....even if you have to use loud speaker to drum it into her ears!


Re: Insecurity Issue In The Family by buknija: 10:31am On Feb 04, 2020
Point of correction, my children were not present at the time of our discussion. I had it planned, during going to bed time, will discuss it and making sure no need for argument that will end up to quarrel. The moment she said it wasnt a big deal, was where i sort of toned up my voice, that if its not mere carefree and careless attitude that nobody in this life will live his/her children with a stranger, unless though u guys have a good friendhship and u feel u are comfortable enough to leave them in the car with a stranger, she now turned the issue of having a good relationship with her barber otherwise, saying am insecure, she switched the matter of security of the children to saying am insecured. Inside life.

3 Likes

Re: Insecurity Issue In The Family by Graxie(f): 12:07pm On Feb 04, 2020
buknija:
Point of correction, my children were not present at the time of our discussion. I had it planned, during going to bed time, will discuss it and making sure no need for argument that will end up to quarrel. The moment she said it wasnt a big deal, was where i sort of toned up my voice, that if its not mere carefree and careless attitude that nobody in this life will live his/her children with a stranger, unless though u guys have a good friendhship and u feel u are comfortable enough to leave them in the car with a stranger, she now turned the issue of having a good relationship with her barber otherwise, saying am insecure, she switched the matter of security of the children to saying am insecured. Inside life.
Dont mind her, she is playing the victim card. Stand your ground. Maybe nine months means nothing to her.

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: Insecurity Issue In The Family by Liliyann(f): 12:32pm On Feb 04, 2020
Graxie:
You are very stupid for making this post, do you have kids? You claim to be a woman and you are not seeing or reading how children are being expose to rapists and pedophile. What brand of stupidity is this?

Pele o wife material 1000yards undecided
Your use of words shows how uncultured and ill mannered you are!
Why not be plain enough to tell the Op to divorce his wife and marry you since you obviously know it more than the wife?
I choose not to trade words with kids online!

1 Like 2 Shares

Re: Insecurity Issue In The Family by buknija: 1:04pm On Feb 04, 2020
Liliyann:


Pele o wife material 1000yards undecided
Your use of words shows how uncultured and ill mannered you are!
Why not be plain enough to tell the Op to divorce his wife and marry you since you obviously know it more than the wife?
I choose not to trade words with kids online!

Keep shut home destroyer, u are doing more damage than mending, we know ur type, u offer nothing but horrible utter gibberish thinking u are making sense, everyone is actually entitled to their own opinion, but in your own case, your opinion doesnt not stand a chance.

7 Likes

Re: Insecurity Issue In The Family by olabrinks(f): 1:16pm On Feb 04, 2020
Graxie:
Dont mind her, she is playing the victim card. Stand your ground. Maybe nine months means nothing to her.
to be honest child molestors are normally the ones closest to you. Family members, family friends, even teachers at school where you believe your child is safe. The truth is that you cannot padlock your kids next to you 24/7, and even if you’re super cautious it’s just the grace of God that will proctect them. Parenting is be very challenging, and we all make mistakes. Cut the mother some slack please. I can tell you that 90% of molestation cases are from people you would never expect.

3 Likes

Re: Insecurity Issue In The Family by Graxie(f): 3:20pm On Feb 04, 2020
Liliyann:


Pele o wife material 1000yards undecided
Your use of words shows how uncultured and ill mannered you are!
Why not be plain enough to tell the Op to divorce his wife and marry you since you obviously know it more than the wife?
I choose not to trade words with kids online!
Useless idiot, I have been married for over ten years. Foolish thing, you think parenting is ashawo work. Fool

1 Like

Re: Insecurity Issue In The Family by Nobody: 3:58pm On Feb 04, 2020
Liliyann:
I hate nagging husband undecided
You think it's easy caring for kids and the home while one person sits in one place giving orders?
You are just being paranoid!
I bet if you should switch role in a day, you will collapse!
Lastly, mind the way you talk to your wife in front of your children. For your daughter to report the mum to you for chastisement is outrightly disrespectful and means she can't trust the mother to take care of them. Don't encourage her! Immediately she brought the tale to you, the least you could have done is to tell her, mummy has her reasons and not to bother then you can correct your wife in your bedroom without the children hearing!!
Is brain paining this one ni?

1 Like

Re: Insecurity Issue In The Family by Sanchez01: 5:04pm On Feb 04, 2020
Liliyann:
I hate nagging husband undecided
You think it's easy caring for kids and the home while one person sits in one place giving orders?
You are just being paranoid!
I bet if you should switch role in a day, you will collapse!
Lastly, mind the way you talk to your wife in front of your children. For your daughter to report the mum to you for chastisement is outrightly disrespectful and means she can't trust the mother to take care of them. Don't encourage her! Immediately she brought the tale to you, the least you could have done is to tell her, mummy has her reasons and not to bother then you can correct your wife in your bedroom without the children hearing!!
So far, this is the most senseless comment I have sense in respect to any post on the forum as far as 2020 is concerned.

Some of you wonder why you can't hold down meaningful relationships... Well, the answer is right here.

In today's world where rap.ing a child is a daily occurrence, particularly in Nigeria and you think a family man nags his wife over his wife's handling of their kids, particularly with strangers?

Sincerely, your comment on this issue is befuddling.

8 Likes 1 Share

Re: Insecurity Issue In The Family by buknija: 11:11pm On Feb 04, 2020
Up until now, im in-secured is the subject matter, not you put the children under in-secured watch. Mehn marriage nor be play play oo, if na baby mama now, i for don find my way carry my children run/

1 Like

Re: Insecurity Issue In The Family by memories1(f): 11:39pm On Feb 04, 2020
buknija:
Up until now, im in-secured is the subject matter, not you put the children under in-secured watch. Mehn marriage nor be play play oo, if na baby mama now, i for don find my way carry my children run/



In this age of insecurity and pedophile freaks everywhere, this is a real challenge. Please keep correcting your wife, she will change for the better hopefully. Then, maybe try showing her news articles of kidnappings, child rape & other gory realities of today. Tell her those are the issues you are preventing by being cautious. Remind her that it is better to prevent than to seek solutions. While you are not wishing your family harm, God's grace must not be taken for granted.

Lastly, remember to always pray over your children before they leave the house. Always speak positively over them. Hopefully, when your wife sees these actions, she will be moved to work in agreement with you over the matter. It is well.
Re: Insecurity Issue In The Family by Belafonte(m): 12:27am On Feb 05, 2020
Liliyann:
I hate nagging husband undecided
You think it's easy caring for kids and the home while one person sits in one place giving orders?
You are just being paranoid!
I bet if you should switch role in a day, you will collapse!
Lastly, mind the way you talk to your wife in front of your children. For your daughter to report the mum to you for chastisement is outrightly disrespectful and means she can't trust the mother to take care of them. Don't encourage her! Immediately she brought the tale to you, the least you could have done is to tell her, mummy has her reasons and not to bother then you can correct your wife in your bedroom without the children hearing!!

You are one of the most irritating nuisances on this forum. You really don’t have to make a comment of every topic. You are not married. You have no children. You have nothing valuable to add. Shut the f*ck up. Read and pass, you won’t die

1 Like

Re: Insecurity Issue In The Family by Belafonte(m): 12:32am On Feb 05, 2020
buknija:
Up until now, im in-secured is the subject matter, not you put the children under in-secured watch. Mehn marriage nor be play play oo, if na baby mama now, i for don find my way carry my children run/

Well, fortunately for you, you’re married. It would wise if you to encourage your children to be security conscious themselves since your wife is careless. God forbid anything happens, all she’ll do is cry and worst you would do is divorce, but the deed would have been done.

Your children aren’t stupid, after all, your daughter informed you of the situation. Perhaps, your wife can learn from them. The best you can do is keep talking to her and praying nothing bad happens. You cannot change anybody that doesn’t see anything wrong in their actions.
Re: Insecurity Issue In The Family by rain21(f): 12:40am On Feb 05, 2020
buknija:
my dear husbands and wives in the house, there is a matter that bothers the most in my family, which is a major cause of concern to me the most. My wife is a care free and no cautious woman when it comes to the kids. Security wise, she has zero concern, she blvs she can trust anybody. I dont want to say much, its been going on for years in different forms, leave kids in the house with worker or house maid, the recent one is my daughter told me today that when they went out yesterday, after trimming low her hair cut, her barber had asked for a lift to 7up which is way far from and not in no way a route to home. She said she branched to get food at a restaurant and left she and her little brother in the car with the barber. That she wanted to let me know because she was aware of the fact that mummy should not leave us with strangers. I spoke to her of this and she got on the defensive. Dear fathers, how would you have handled this situation, because my asking her this now turned out to be that i am thinking otherwise about she and the barber, leaving the major issue of security which was what my worry was about.


the way your daughter reported her mum to you tho., hope you don't talk down on your wife in the presence of your kids.

since you've talked and she's not listening, you have to start over protecting your kids by yourself. you can restrict her from taking the kids out as much as you can.make decisions that doesn't expose your kids unnecessarily to strangers and stick to it

you should also teach your daughter since she's old enough things she should know and do when situations arises.

hopefully your wife will take note and come to the same page with you

1 Like

Re: Insecurity Issue In The Family by Liliyann(f): 3:33am On Feb 05, 2020
Belafonte:


You are one of the most irritating nuisances on this forum. You really don’t have to make a comment of every topic. You are not married. You have no children. You have nothing valuable to add. Shut the f*ck up. Read and pass, you won’t die

I am not the cause of your depression undecided
Try not to take sniper!
Re: Insecurity Issue In The Family by Nobody: 7:53am On Feb 05, 2020
.
Re: Insecurity Issue In The Family by TonyeBarcanista(m): 7:58am On Feb 05, 2020
buknija:
Point of correction, my children were not present at the time of our discussion. I had it planned, during going to bed time, will discuss it and making sure no need for argument that will end up to quarrel. The moment she said it wasnt a big deal, was where i sort of toned up my voice, that if its not mere carefree and careless attitude that nobody in this life will live his/her children with a stranger, unless though u guys have a good friendhship and u feel u are comfortable enough to leave them in the car with a stranger, she now turned the issue of having a good relationship with her barber otherwise, saying am insecure, she switched the matter of security of the children to saying am insecured. Inside life.
Stop being a nag and learn to be a man!

When your wife do what isn't right, scold her and ensure she starts acting appropriately. Warn her never to put your kids in the care of strangers and ensure that it is enforced... NB Warn her not appeal or beg her.

Finally, stop coming to public forum to seek popular opinion on family decision you are meant to take as family head and leader. You know what is right, Just Do It!
Re: Insecurity Issue In The Family by TonyeBarcanista(m): 8:00am On Feb 05, 2020
buknija:
Up until now, im in-secured is the subject matter, not you put the children under in-secured watch. Mehn marriage nor be play play oo, if na baby mama now, i for don find my way carry my children run/
Marriage is hard for you because you choose not to man up to take key decisions and enforce important family policy and safety rules. Stop being bitchy over what you can actively address!
Re: Insecurity Issue In The Family by Liliyann(f): 1:10pm On Feb 05, 2020
Graxie:
Useless idiot, I have been married for over ten years. Foolish thing, you think parenting is ashawo work. Fool
You sound too uncultured for a mother
And as a wife, does you husband humiliate you in front of your kids? Did you even calm down to read my comment before spewing trash?
Does your husband berate you in front of your children constantly?
When couples are quarreling, is that the best advice to give them?
You can say whatever you like but you and I know that you are single....As a lady learn to be cultured in your response!!!
I may be sarcastic but I don't showcase unruly attitude here!
And if you're truly a mother, biko mind the way you talk in front of your children... They pick up traits easily!!

(1) (2) (Reply)

Looking For Where To Rehabilitate A Brother Who Drinks Too Much / Good Hospitals For Child Birth / Is It True That Love Comes Once In A Life Time?

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 84
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.