Kuns84:
These two have never gotten along from the very beginning and things have deteriorated to the point that this has affected my relationship with my bro.

[/b]Coupled with the fact that we might have to squat with them for a while before finding my feet.[b]

LilMissFavvy:
There are people who are naturally not fascinated about living abroad, they love their Homeland, they are contented, especially if things are working for them. Your wife is gainfully employed, just like you, she lives independently, yet you think it will be easy for her to accept to travel abroad and go and squat in your elder brothers house. Oga, make money, enough money then convince your wife that when you travel abroad she will not be a squatter in someone's house.

Whatever views you have concerning your elder brothers wife does not matter, what matters here is that your wife and your brothers wife do not get along well, atimes some relatives cannot just ''gell'' together, you cannot force it. Personally, I don't know if I would be happy to leave my home to travel abroad to squat in a relatives house, you may say the squatting will be temporary, but you can't be so sure. Your wife does not want to be part of such drama. So make more money, assure her you will rent a home over there and see her reaction.

Kuns84:



Notice I said MIGHT.. with a doctors salary I can obviously afford to get a place of my own but it's my preference to stay with bro for a while as we settle into a new environ.

LilMissFavvy:
That's why I said make money, enough money, tell her you will be able to afford a home, then see her reaction.

Shellsploit:
Lalasticlala sef


Let's wait to hear from the elder's

Kuns84:
I'm a medical doctor by profession and completed my residency over a year ago. However, I'm currently frustrated with the state of things in this country. I work endlessly, shuffling between a public hospital here in Lagos as well as also doing some consulting on the side in a private hospital – all to make ends meet.

Many of my fellow medical practitioners have relocated abroad and are all doing tremendously well for themselves earning fat salaries. My friends have tirelessly encouraged me to also make that move but for the past 3 years now, I’ve be peddling a lie that I’m 'comfortable' here in Nigeria. What many don’t know is that MY WIFE is the main reason why I’ve not been able to even attempt the exams not to talk of passing and eventually relocating.

Her reasons?

I have an elder brother who currently lives in the UK – he’s an engineer doing incredibly well for himself. He is married to a fellow Nigerian who is a naturalised citizen abroad but here’s the problem, my wife cannot stand the thought of moving to the UK because of an ongoing issue with my brother’s wife. I can’t go into much detail lest I digress, but my wife has always had this inferiority complex that my sister in-law will look down on her because she was raised abroad and comes from a wealthy home. These two have never gotten along from the very beginning and things have deteriorated to the point that this has affected my relationship with my bro. I personally like my brother’s wife, she’s an intelligent and down to earth lady and we got along so well until I met and married my wife. My brother and I have both tried to get our wives to reconcile but to no avail and now that I could potentially move abroad, this matter has been a major stumbling block affecting my ability to forge ahead in life.

Every time I try to talk sense into my wife, she flares up and refuses to admit the truth, rather she’d claim that her reasons for not wanting to move abroad is because “the grass isn’t greener on the other side”, “people are suffering abroad”, “she’s comfortable with her job here in Nigeria” etc.. but deep down we both know that she doesn’t want to give my sister-in law the satisfaction of seeing us move to the UK for a better life – coupled with the fact that we might have to squat with them for a while before finding my feet.

I am depressed but do a fantastic job at hiding it but the truth is, It breaks my heart every time yet another colleague of mine relocates abroad with his family and then tells me of how conformable life is over there and how much doctors are being paid – it’s not that I’m jealous, I genuinely feel happy for my guys, but just can’t help but feel stuck and unfulfilled with how things are going in my career and personal life.

Tripitaka:


I would never understand why women on here make this statement repeatedly. It's quite nauseating.

Pray tell, what exactly does "make enough money" mean to you? What are the practical steps of making "enough money"? Perhaps you don't know how difficult it is settling into a new country, culture, economy, surroundings. It's one hell of a daunting experience.

Somehow, it's the man's fault that the wife doesn't get along with her sister-in-law or doesn't want to "start somewhere".

ezugegere:
Must it be UK? Why can't you think of another country except UK?

Kuns84:



Notice I said MIGHT.. with a doctors salary I can obviously afford to get a place of my own but it's my preference to stay with bro for a while as we settle into a new environ.

LilMissFavvy:
The wife is okay in Nigeria, he is the one who wishes to relocate, so he should be ready to shoulder the financial costs, if she assists him, fine. I do not understand your last paragraph, I don't know what you mean by ''it's the man's fault that the two women do not get along'', I never wrote that, so I don't know what you mean. Like I said earlier, you cannot force people to get along with others. If he has tried enough like he mentioned to make both women to settle their differences without success, isn't it time he let's his wife be?

Tripitaka:


OP made it clear that his wife's reluctance is because she feels inferior to her co-wife given the co-wifes parentage and background. It isn't a case of her being "comfortable" in Nigeria. Heck, she would pack her bags in a jiffy if the husband proposed another country or if they were to put up at another relative's in the UK.

Again, he didn't say they're living a good life. In fact he said he is frustrated and believes that his family will have a better life in the UK.

You kept on happing on him "making enough money" when he already made it clear that he is already working multiple jobs, yet there isn't a lot to show for it.

My advice would be for the OP to go alone and stay formats long as it requires him to "make enough money", then he can come get his wife.

rain21:
she's intelligent, she's down to earth, she's blabla bla.., meaning you are already taking sides with your brother's wife and your wife is the now the one with inferiority complex.

that could even be the reason why she doesn't want to move___you are comparing the two women and probably flow well with your brother's wife more than with your own wife.your wife has seen the signs already and will rather prefer she stays home since she has a very good paying job here.

relocate, get a good job and then come for your family.consider living in a separate town far from your brother's to avoid frequent clash from the women. the two will still settle laslas

Kuns84:


Its shocking that you would interpret my words this way. Is it a crime to compliment my brothers wife? Truth is she's truly a lovely woman and if I'm to be fair, my wife was the one who started this whole beef with her attitude.

Of course I stuck by my wife throughout the whole ordeal but this is an anonymous forum where I can admit the truth.

ezugegere:
Must it be UK? Why can't you think of another country except UK?

Kuns84:
I'm a medical doctor by profession and completed my residency over a year ago. However, I'm currently frustrated with the state of things in this country. I work endlessly, shuffling between a public hospital here in Lagos as well as also doing some consulting on the side in a private hospital – all to make ends meet.

Many of my fellow medical practitioners have relocated abroad and are all doing tremendously well for themselves earning fat salaries. My friends have tirelessly encouraged me to also make that move but for the past 3 years now, I’ve be peddling a lie that I’m 'comfortable' here in Nigeria. What many don’t know is that MY WIFE is the main reason why I’ve not been able to even attempt the exams not to talk of passing and eventually relocating.

Her reasons?

I have an elder brother who currently lives in the UK – he’s an engineer doing incredibly well for himself. He is married to a fellow Nigerian who is a naturalised citizen abroad but here’s the problem, my wife cannot stand the thought of moving to the UK because of an ongoing issue with my brother’s wife. I can’t go into much detail lest I digress, but my wife has always had this inferiority complex that my sister in-law will look down on her because she was raised abroad and comes from a wealthy home. These two have never gotten along from the very beginning and things have deteriorated to the point that this has affected my relationship with my bro. I personally like my brother’s wife, she’s an intelligent and down to earth lady and we got along so well until I met and married my wife. My brother and I have both tried to get our wives to reconcile but to no avail and now that I could potentially move abroad, this matter has been a major stumbling block affecting my ability to forge ahead in life.

Every time I try to talk sense into my wife, she flares up and refuses to admit the truth, rather she’d claim that her reasons for not wanting to move abroad is because “the grass isn’t greener on the other side”, “people are suffering abroad”, “she’s comfortable with her job here in Nigeria” etc.. but deep down we both know that she doesn’t want to give my sister-in law the satisfaction of seeing us move to the UK for a better life – coupled with the fact that we might have to squat with them for a while before finding my feet.

I am depressed but do a fantastic job at hiding it but the truth is, It breaks my heart every time yet another colleague of mine relocates abroad with his family and then tells me of how conformable life is over there and how much doctors are being paid – it’s not that I’m jealous, I genuinely feel happy for my guys, but just can’t help but feel stuck and unfulfilled with how things are going in my career and personal life.

Squillaci:


I don't see any issue here.
Divorce her and move to your dream country.
There are millions of women out there just like your wife.
You can always get another spouse.

rain21:


[s]I didn't interpret anything,it was exactly what you wrote that I read.you compliment your brother's wife,do you also compliment your own wife? Your wife has insecurities and you are making matters worse for her by trying to make her squat in her rival's home when she's comfortable here. If you were to be in her shoes, how would you feel?
Relocate, get a job and send for her later.it's simple[/s]

freecocoahubby:



Absolute bullshiit!

So in the midst of an important issue here it's his wife's childish sentiments that should take precedence? What useless rivalry is she doing with someone who doesn't send her? Someone who she just developed some silly inferiority complex towards because the lady is abroad or something.. Or are we not reading the same thread?

This is why important decisions should never be left to women, they ruin promising lives with their unstable emotions. Smh.

As for you nlPoster, you are simply dumb! Please dont ruin this lovely thread with your senseless-ness