Long post!
So I saw a thread on FP not too long ago and I want to air my opinion on it.
Polygamy has been in existence since creation, and invariably will continue to exist under the guise of serial monogamy. Since a man is only entitled to one woman under the law.
The reason I exist is because my mum married into a polygamous marriage, same for many of us on this platform.

Why you think polygamy will not work?
1) I saw some funny comments on FP regarding polygamous men living a solitude life at old age, my brother the only reason a man will grow old to live in isolation away from the love of his wive(s) and kids at old is age how he treated their mother while he was still agile. If you dont want to be a wretched old man start taking good care of your wife. This has absolutely nothing to do with polygamy. Some men are just outright irresponsible.
2) you feel the children will not love themselves; this is not true as well. My grandfathers children are so close knitted that an outsider will think they slept in the same womb. Your duty as a man is to make sure your kids have a good relationship with one another right from their young age. This will eliminate or at least reduce the negative influence that their mothers might want to have on them regarding their step siblings.
3) maybe expensive? Generally depends on your taste of women and the number of kids you have. If you think polygamy is expensive you might as well try to be a serial monogamist. With polygamy you're sure to be spending your money on your wives and kids not a random side chick(s).

Why you might want to consider it;
1)Polygamy comes with openness of mind, you're at peace with yourself as a man because you wont be sleeping with a random sidechick but a woman that is also your wife. You dont have to be extra careful around your wife because you're cheating, you're as well married to the other woman.
2)You dont have to live in fear of your first wife because the second or third wives are entitled to as much right as the first. There are many married men raising kids secretly outside their marriage with a sidechick, with polygamy you get to raise your kids together even if their mothers dont stay in one apartment with you.
3)Polygamy could come with more fulfillment for a man. The first wife is a good cook but doesnt like sex, the second fulfils your sexual desires what a life if one is I'll mannered, you can find peace with the one with a better attitude. This plays out a lot in monogamy, your wife is sh!tty? You find peace with your sidechick.

The reality is only a few men will sincerely desire to be with one woman I.e marry one woman and not cheat on her through their years of marriage.
With what I read online everyday regarding cheating on the part of men, then I can say that serial monogamy is the new polygamous system.

There are many good mannered marriagable women that have been relegated to sidechicks, or very unfortunate when it comes to relationship matters, polygamy would make them a wife if the man they are with is open to polygamy and they are too.
Monogamy doesnt automatically means you will be happier than people in polygamous marriages. A woman could be more happy as a second wife than be an only wife of a community pen!s.

The bible prophecy is upon us, which one will it be for you? Polygamy or serial monogamy?

Toks2008

Would like to read comments of people who were born and raised in polygamous homes, their first hand experience would be insightful...how it worked for their father, mothers and they, the children.

Personally,my choice would be polyamory and then polyandry and polygamy for those that want to make it more formal.

Then those who believe in monogamy also can choose people like them.

Everyone stays happy.

Never! Ile olorogun ile ariwo. Not all these men are men, most of them are boys Please don't quote me

I didn't read all that, but I know a woman will comfortably be a 75th wife if the money is there.

Thanks!

Takotsubo:
Personally,my choice would be polyamory and then polyandry and polygamy for those that want to make it more formal.

Then those who believe in monogamy also can choose people like them.

Everyone stays happy.

You have gotten me more confused. Lol

So people see polygamy as anti-dote for cheating?

You have to realize that most polygamous homes today started as monogamy. So what happened along the line? Cheating happened Polygamy starts by cheating on the first wife.

Bottom line is simple; a useless man will always remain a useless man. No specific type of marriage (polygamy, poly-whatever) can take the place of commonsense, discipline and respect for self.

Olunmercy56:
Never! Ile olorogun ile ariwo. Not all these men are men, most of them are boys Please don't quote me

What is this one saying...
How did you even know? You are mugu

Acidosis:
So people see polygamy as anti-dote for cheating?

You have to realize that most polygamous homes today started as monogamy. So what happened along the line? Cheating happened Polygamy starts by cheating on the first wife.

Bottom line is simple; a useless man will always remain a useless man. No specific type of marriage (polygamy, poly-whatever) can take the place of commonsense, discipline and respect for self.

This is what most diick hopping men fail to understand, you have to court the second woman before you marry her, so what is that called if not cheating.......

Well, polygamy worked out well for my grandfather. All three wives and their children lived withing the same house, but it was built in such a way that each wife and her kids had a block each to themselves located on the inner section, while the outer section had one block for my grandfather...
It formed a square with a space/playground in the middle.

How they were even able to come up with such a design in the early 1900s beats my imagination.

To the crux of the matter...
I believe the system in place in pre-colonial Nigeria was perfect for polygamous families to thrive. It has nothing to do with economic/financial status as I'm sure there were also men with very little fortunes still having multiple wives back then - it was just a cultural expectation.

These days, and from the period of colonialism, a lot of cultural changes have taken place - some good, some not so good... and polygamy as a practice while viewed as a relic of the past is still 100x better than the serial monogamy we see today.

Personally, I wouldn't want to have more than one wife despite the fact that I come from an extended family that is made up of at least 100 direct living descendants of my grandfather, most of whom still have that sense of unity among themselves.

One wife is enough for any sensible man in this day and age considering how entitled and conceited women are now...an explosive combination.
The exception is if he has found a way to go about handling two or more, which is something I just can't bother taking a bet on.

If it ever gets to a point where I require two women in my life, there will always be willing beautiful women out there with no respect for themselves who don't mind being low-key sidechics to married men.

Acidosis:
So people see polygamy as anti-dote for cheating?

You have to realize that most polygamous homes today started as monogamy. So what happened along the line? Cheating happened Polygamy starts by cheating on the first wife.

Bottom line is simple; a useless man will always remain a useless man. No specific type of marriage (polygamy, poly-whatever) can take the place of commonsense, discipline and respect for self.

Maybe today, but that's not how it was when our forefathers had multiple wives.

Marrying a second or third wife was not a hidden affair then, everyone would know including the first wife.
They see the young girl they are interested in, sometimes it's even the first wife who does the talking to her. Once the girl has accepted, the man makes his interest known to her family, a wedding takes place before they consummate it.
In instances where the girl is not even aware, they just go straight to her father and then it happens from there.

For it to have been cheating, it would all be without the knowledge of the first wife and/or sex will have to be involved before the marriage rites are completed.

Acidosis:
So people see polygamy as anti-dote for cheating?

You have to realize that most polygamous homes today started as monogamy. So what happened along the line? Cheating happened Polygamy starts by cheating on the first wife.

Bottom line is simple; a useless man will always remain a useless man. No specific type of marriage (polygamy, poly-whatever) can take the place of commonsense, discipline and respect for self.

Many thing could happen aside cheating. A bad wife can make her husband vulnerable to seek solace outside of their marriage. Making the other woman a wife than a side piece is more sensible. And for some it is custom, some like the thrills that comes with it, it is some sort of adventure for some.
Serial monogamy isn't just cheating, it is worse. With polygamy you know the women you're dealing with.

crackkhaus:

Maybe today, but that's not how it was when our forefathers had multiple wives.

Marrying a second or third wife was not a hidden affair then, everyone would know including the first wife.
They see the young girl they are interested in, sometimes it's even the first wife who does the talking to her. Once the girl has accepted, the man makes his interest known to her family, a wedding takes place before they consummate it.
In instances where the girl is not even aware, they just go straight to her father and then it happens from there.

For it to have been cheating, it would all be without the knowledge of the first wife and/or sex will have to be involved before the marriage rites are completed.

You're correct. There are men that tells you out rightly that they are interested in polygamy. If you like you stay if not you find your level.
The problem of polygamy isn't the man, it is the women involved. From emotional manipulation of the man, jealously towards their step kids and so on.

crackkhaus:
Well, polygamy worked out well for my grandfather. All three wives and their children lived withing the same house, but it was built in such a way that each wife and her kids had a block each to themselves located on the inner section, while the outer section had one block for my grandfather...
It formed a square with a space/playground in the middle.

How they were even able to come up with such a design in the early 1900s beats my imagination.

To the crux of the matter...
I believe the system in place in pre-colonial Nigeria was perfect for polygamous families to thrive. It has nothing to do with economic/financial status as I'm sure there were also men with very little fortunes still having multiple wives back then - it was just a cultural expectation.

These days, and from the period of colonialism, a lot of cultural changes have taken place - some good, some not so good... and polygamy as a practice while viewed as a relic of the past is still 100x better than the serial monogamy we see today.

Personally, I wouldn't want to have more than one wife despite the fact that I come from an extended family that is made up of at least 100 direct living descendants of my grandfather, most of whom still have that sense of unity among themselves.

One wife is enough for any sensible man in this day and age considering how entitled and conceited women are now...an explosive combination.
The exception is if he has found a way to go about handling two or more, which is something I just can't bother taking a bet on.

If it ever gets to a point where I require two women in my life, there will always be willing beautiful women out there with no respect for themselves who don't mind being low-key sidechics to married men.

Coming from a polygamous background yourself, like me too i believe the entitlement mentality of women just like my late grandmother said is the problem of polygamy. I can expentiate on that later.

rockstarB:

You're correct. There are men that tells you out rightly that they are interested in polygamy. If you like you stay if not you find your level.
The problem of polygamy isn't the man, it is the women involved. From emotional manipulation of the man, jealously towards their step kids and so on.

Which is why it will be a bad idea today moreso than it may have been back then.

rockstarB:

Coming from a polygamous background yourself, like me too i believe the entitlement mentality of women just like my late grandmother said is the problem of polygamy. I can expentiate on that later.

I will like to read what she said about that whenever you can please.

crackkhaus:

Which is why it will be be a bad idea today moreso than it may have been back then.

Maybe, just maybe. The problem of monogamy is as much as polygamy. Moreso, we can learn from our parents mistakes or not so well attitude towards their partners. Either way, we should be a better version of them.

Acidosis:
So people see polygamy as anti-dote for cheating?

You have to realize that most polygamous homes today started as monogamy. So what happened along the line? Cheating happened Polygamy starts by cheating on the first wife.

Bottom line is simple; a useless man will always remain a useless man. No specific type of marriage (polygamy, poly-whatever) can take the place of commonsense, discipline and respect for self.

Yeah cheating on her, or flat out telling her, knowing she would not be happy with it but couldn't do anything about it or leave a life she had already invested in behind easily. So she just ends up 'falling in line'.

@OP
As I am now, I couldn't do it

Maybe I would if my life prospects were a lot less promising

rockstarB:

Maybe, just maybe. The problem of monogamy is as much as polygamy. Moreso, we can learn from our parents mistakes or not so well attitude towards their partners. Either way, we should be a better version of them.

True.

As for contrasting which of the two has more problems, I reckon that polygamy does.
In today's society, there will be too many moving parts which can't be controlled by the man.

Do I want to be polygamous? Certainly.
Do I think it will be wise? Absolutely not.

Monogamy still remain the best marriage so far....One man ..One wife

rockstarB:

You have gotten me more confused. Lol

Lol,I believe the issue of multiple partners should be free and open for all.

If people are truthful about their expectations,they will pair or multipair with those with whom their lifestyles suit.

Some women already manage multiple men steadily and smoothly without any issues.In an ideal world,they would be open about this and the men who choose to stay will stay,those that can't manage will.leave.

Better for water to find it's own level and people to know and understand their own limitations.

Monogamy for those who want,polyamory for another set,polyandry /polygamy for yet another,then the asexuals in their own lane.

Simple,isn't it.

I think multiple partners can be managed properly if everyone is aware of their place and function.

Takotsubo:


Lol,I believe the issue of multiple partners should be free and open for all.

If people are truthful about their expectations,they will pair or multipair with those with whom their lifestyles suit.

Some women already manage multiple men steadily and smoothly without any issues.In an ideal world,they would be open about this and the men who choose to stay will stay,those that can't manage will.leave.

Better for water to find it's own level and people to know and understand their own limitations.

Monogamy for those who want,polyamory for another set,polyandry /polygamy for yet another,then the asexuals in their own lane.

Simple,isn't it.

I think multiple partners can be managed properly if everyone is aware of their place and function.

This is true. You just have to be sincere about your wants. There are some couples in open marriages. You go out, have fun and come back. I even read sometimes back about couples inviting third parties for party or foursomes it boils down to preferences

Ussycool:


What is this one saying...
How did you even know? You are mugu

You are a big mumu

I miss reading from Onegai, here in family section. Even her blog nefescorner. I pray she is safe and sound!.

Polygamy was legal and ethical until the white men came and said otherwise. And because the black man is cursed never to think for himself, we followed suit and started seeing polygamy in a bad way.

The whites have succeeded in brainwashing the blacks to believe that only their standard is acceptable. That is why today in every social media and especially nairaland, even those without international passport will refer you to how the whites do their things, not how Asians or south Americans do it.

Blacks are so gullible and without class.
There is nothing wrong with polygamy. I'm a big, big fan of it.

24kmagic:
Polygamy was legal and ethical until the white men came and said otherwise. And because the black man is cursed never to think for himself, we followed suit and started seeing polygamy in a bad way.

The whites have succeeded in brainwashing the blacks to believe that only their standard is acceptable. That is why today in every social media and especially nairaland, even those without international passport will refer you to how the whites do their things, not how Asians or south Americans do it.

Blacks are so gullible and without class.
There is nothing wrong with polygamy. I'm a big, big fan of it.

Polygamy is like the better way out for single ladies that have been labelled evening newspapers, single mothers, young widows, sidechicks. Polygamy has been in existence since God said let there be light and it will continue to be under the guise of serial monogamy till the end of time.
It is nature taking its course, we can hardly work against it.

NextD18:
I didn't read all that, but I know a woman will comfortably be a 75th wife if the money is there.

Thanks!

Polygamy is the future, that's what I feel. The best we can do is learn from our parents mistake.