Hello peeps,

Please advice.

I stay with my sister, they av a 3 bedroom apartments. And I stay in one of d room because z closer to my office and I go to my house on weekends.

But since I moved in, I observed dat her husband always beat her.. I don't know if he just started or he has been doing dat before...because my sister has never complained to us.

Though, if not dat I leave with dem, I will advice every lady to pray for dat kind of guy...cos he z so caring, Av time for his family, comes home early, religious, doesn't smoke nor drink. Most times do d cooking if he comes home before my sister.

We r a bit close, cos z a cr7 fan, n we go to viewing center to watch champions league together, ( he prefers viewing centre Dan watching at home).

When I tried to discuss the issue of him beating my sister with him, he was so angry, and he replied dat z not my fault, dats y dey don't want a third party in der ouse cos ppu will never mind der business.

I also tried talking to my sister, she said do I want her to pack out of her husband ouse or wat do I want her to do if av not gotten another husband for her. Dat every marriage has issues. N she warned me not to tell our parents.

Actually, z not always a serz beating, may be a slap or two, den my sister will lock his shirt n dey will start abusing each other...after some minutes dey will enter d room n by d time dey come out z always settled. Most times I will just hear d sound of d slap in my room, by d tym I rush out out, my sister wud av locked his shirt n dey will start abusing each other. When I try to intervene or settle it. The two of dem will tell me to leave dem alone dat dey will settle it. But I feel bad whenever it happens cos I will feel guilty for not speaking out if domestic violence leads to my sister's death someday.

Please advice if I shud report to our parents or not.

It's best you let your parents know whats happening......some persons see an abusive relationship as normal

Another one..

Your sister is old enough
Don't fight her battle
She can decide or fight for herself

Modified:
All of you telling him to beat the husband, u better tell him to be staying with them permanently because any day he is not around her sister is good as dead
Any lady that stays in abuse marriage is stupid, if you like call the whole family to beg her husband or even pack her stuffs out of the house if the lady doesn't decide for herself, you are all wasting your time

Your sister is being foolish indulging him.A lot of Nigerian women tolerate a lot of nonsense just to stay in marriage.
Your sister is an adult,let her deal with it herself.

All of you are Mad. Especially you, since you're the only one confused in that triangle.

Give him a strong fight if u cant beat his brain to a reset,then report him to ur people and his own people..and he will never try it again...sey na look u wan to dey look am,na bury u go soon bury ur sis.but GOD 4bid.

They told to leave them dey will settle in it, Op, dat is there own way of making out.

So there are women in this world that enjoy slaps

Op as it stands now you have no right to involve your parents or any other person, try to talk to your sister.. find out why they abuse each other, counsel her and pray for them too.

Smhaykins:
Hello peeps,

Please advice.

I stay with my sister, they av a 3 bedroom apartments. And I stay in one of d room because z closer to my office and I go to my house on weekends.

But since I moved in, I observed dat her husband always beat her.. I don't know if he just started or he has been doing dat before...because my sister has never complained to us.

Though, if not dat I leave with dem, I will advice every lady to pray for dat kind of guy...cos he z so caring, Av time for his family, comes home early, religious, doesn't smoke nor drink. Most times do d cooking if he comes home before my sister.

We r a bit close, cos z a cr7 fan, n we go to viewing center to watch champions league together, ( he prefers viewing centre Dan watching at home).

When I tried to discuss the issue of him beating my sister with him, he was so angry, and he replied dat z not my fault, dats y dey don't want a third party in der ouse cos ppu will never mind der business.

I also tried talking to my sister, she said do I want her to pack out of her husband ouse or wat do I want her to do if av not gotten another husband for her. Dat every marriage has issues. N she warned me not to tell our parents.

Actually, z not always a serz beating, may be a slap or two, den my sister will lock his shirt n dey will start abusing each other...after some minutes dey will enter d room n by d time dey come out z always settled. Most times I will just hear d sound of d slap in my room, by d tym I rush out out, my sister wud av locked his shirt n dey will start abusing each other. When I try to intervene or settle it. The two of dem will tell me to leave dem alone dat dey will settle it. But I feel bad whenever it happens cos I will feel guilty for not speaking out if domestic violence leads to my sister's death someday.

Please advice if I shud report to our parents or not.

Yes report to ur parents and anyone that can talk sense to the guy.
Don't wait till he kills her before opening up.

You should talk sense into your sister, why would she be so disobedient to her husband.

All you need to do is to leave them when the act comes, they are married and if you should get involve, it might escalate the matter.

They know how to settle themselves;after beating, they talk to each other again.


There is no perfect relationship, there must be altercation, fight, and insults. All these make the two couples to know themselves and how to pacify themselves without the interference of a third-party.

Haven't you come about that post where a woman was in support to drilling of wives/wife by their respective husbands .

infogenius:


Yes report to ur parents and anyone that can talk sense to the guy.
Don't wait till he kills her before opening up.

What if dey ask me to leave der ouse nko.

I don't av money to rent another apartment for now.

See what I'll advise you:

Your Sister will not have sense like this.
Rent an apartment.
Plan to leave them quietly.
When you're out of that house, make a move.
Handle the matter Any way you can, even if its rash.

Please allow your sister, she enjoys receiving slap. You can imagine after the slap, they go into the room to finish work. Please it's their bonding pattern. Face your front.

Thread with caution because once you do anything stupid, both you and your sister will be at recieving end.

All these people telling you to report to your mum or treat the man fvckup.. will they be there when the man evicted you from his house or when the man divorces or chases your sister away and your? One thing you dont want is your sister staying for years in your family house. that will breed frustration to both her and your family.

I will advise you to just pack out from the house if it's too much for you to bear. And leave your sister and her family alone.. they re adults..of your sister isnt complaining,wo are you to? On a normal day your sister now 80% is the property of her husband and you dare not interfere.. it might not even be brutal and complicated as you think..

Try face front small if you cant atleast pack out and rent your own house..

Graxie:
Please allow your sister, she enjoys receiving slap. You can imagine after the slap, they go into the room to finish work. Please it's their bonding pattern. Face your front.

I've actually seen a couple like that. After about an hour of quarreling, the next minute is some calm... then... loud music... I refused to let my mind wander

Na wa oo, hmmn. A slap or two.

Smhaykins:
Hello peeps,

Please advice.

I stay with my sister, they av a 3 bedroom apartments. And I stay in one of d room because z closer to my office and I go to my house on weekends.

But since I moved in, I observed dat her husband always beat her.. I don't know if he just started or he has been doing dat before...because my sister has never complained to us.

Though, if not dat I leave with dem, I will advice every lady to pray for dat kind of guy...cos he z so caring, Av time for his family, comes home early, religious, doesn't smoke nor drink. Most times do d cooking if he comes home before my sister.

We r a bit close, cos z a cr7 fan, n we go to viewing center to watch champions league together, ( he prefers viewing centre Dan watching at home).

When I tried to discuss the issue of him beating my sister with him, he was so angry, and he replied dat z not my fault, dats y dey don't want a third party in der ouse cos ppu will never mind der business.

I also tried talking to my sister, she said do I want her to pack out of her husband ouse or wat do I want her to do if av not gotten another husband for her. Dat every marriage has issues. N she warned me not to tell our parents.

Actually, z not always a serz beating, may be a slap or two, den my sister will lock his shirt n dey will start abusing each other...after some minutes dey will enter d room n by d time dey come out z always settled. Most times I will just hear d sound of d slap in my room, by d tym I rush out out, my sister wud av locked his shirt n dey will start abusing each other. When I try to intervene or settle it. The two of dem will tell me to leave dem alone dat dey will settle it. But I feel bad whenever it happens cos I will feel guilty for not speaking out if domestic violence leads to my sister's death someday.

Please advice if I shud report to our parents or not.

@bold:

This is not 'domestic violence', it is two 'fighting'.

You told us that outside the slap and shirt grabbing before she starts to rain abused on him, they are a good couple.

I see that they have a terrible conflict resolution skill which they will pass on to their kids if they do not wean themselves of that nonsense.

Ask your sister's husband why he slaps her. Not as an accusation: you can whine him that you admire the man he is apart from the slap. He should be able to tell you and you relay the feedback to your sister.

Also engage not accuse your sister why she locks his shirt and abuses him. Also pass on the information to the husband.

Then you can have a joint session with them in a polite manner.

You can even muster up some tears if possible.

Goodluck

Smhaykins:
Hello peeps,

Please advice.

I stay with my sister, they av a 3 bedroom apartments. And I stay in one of d room because z closer to my office and I go to my house on weekends.

But since I moved in, I observed dat her husband always beat her.. I don't know if he just started or he has been doing dat before...because my sister has never complained to us.

Though, if not dat I leave with dem, I will advice every lady to pray for dat kind of guy...cos he z so caring, Av time for his family, comes home early, religious, doesn't smoke nor drink. Most times do d cooking if he comes home before my sister.

We r a bit close, cos z a cr7 fan, n we go to viewing center to watch champions league together, ( he prefers viewing centre Dan watching at home).

When I tried to discuss the issue of him beating my sister with him, he was so angry, and he replied dat z not my fault, dats y dey don't want a third party in der ouse cos ppu will never mind der business.

I also tried talking to my sister, she said do I want her to pack out of her husband ouse or wat do I want her to do if av not gotten another husband for her. Dat every marriage has issues. N she warned me not to tell our parents.

Actually, z not always a serz beating, may be a slap or two, den my sister will lock his shirt n dey will start abusing each other...after some minutes dey will enter d room n by d time dey come out z always settled. Most times I will just hear d sound of d slap in my room, by d tym I rush out out, my sister wud av locked his shirt n dey will start abusing each other. When I try to intervene or settle it. The two of dem will tell me to leave dem alone dat dey will settle it. But I feel bad whenever it happens cos I will feel guilty for not speaking out if domestic violence leads to my sister's death someday.

Please advice if I shud report to our parents or not.

Writing like an illiterate. One person writes all these fictitious stories and then deliberately use grammatical errors to make it seem like it's written by different people.

Nairaland has degenerated, when you no longer have intelligent people who can come up with good topics, they get dumb people to come up with fictitious stories to drive traffic.

People asking you to report it your parents are well-meaning, but it could be a recipe for disaster. What you think is helping her may end up driving her away

At the end of the day, she's an adult so you can't force her to do anything. Best you can probably do is to keep reiterating that you're here for her if she needs your help...

From the writeup, it's difficult to tell if this is some kind of fetish (because this is actually a thing sometimes), or she's genuinely stuck

OP please modify your post, write your words clearly so it can be understood.

As for your sister since she's not complaining leave her be, by the time the two slaps and shirt locking will turn to kicking and head breaking then she will know that being in husband house isn't all a woman should aspire for.

I heard makeup sex is the bomb so Mayb they are into that fetish.

Gaggi:

Writing like an illiterate. One person writes all these fictitious stories and then deliberately use grammatical errors to make it seem like it's written by different people.

Nairaland has degenerated, when you no longer have intelligent people who can come up with good topics, they get dumb people to come up with fictitious stories to drive traffic.

What z dis one saying....go school...u go say education na scan....eleribu

ONE DAY, YOUR SISTER WILL NOT BE ABLE TO TAKE THE "ONE OR TWO SLAPS" AND WOULD HAVE TO RETALIATE WITH A DAGGER IN HIS CHEST.

THAT DAY, YOU WILL BLAME YOURSELF FOR STOMACHING THIS barbaric act of his.

Smhaykins:


What z dis one saying....go school...u go say education na scan....eleribu

So you actually went to a school? Go and get a refund from your school because my 6 year old writes better than you.
Illiteracy runs in your family that's why your moronic sister needs the help of her illiterate brother to get her out of her abusive marriage.
Stupid idiot claims to have a 2 year old daughter, lying fictitious, illiterate tale bearer seeking attention on a faceless forum.

I hate men that do beat women

Whew! The couple said you should leave them alone but you insist on dragging even us into it

Gaggi:

So you actually went to a school? Go and get a refund from your school because my 6 year old writes better than you.
Illiteracy runs in your family that's why your moronic sister needs the help of her illiterate brother to get her out of her abusive marriage.
Stupid idiot claims to have a 2 year old daughter, lying fictitious, illiterate tale bearer seeking attention on a faceless forum.

Send me ur c.v

Your sister is living with low self esteem and low self worth even if the husband disfigures her, she ain't leaving that toxic marriage except as a corpse or as the culprit of killing the husband.

Smhaykins:


Send me ur c.v

Take advice and go back to school. You're not smart enough to know what a c.v. is.