Pardon me if this topic has been posted and thrashed before. I would like to know from the those who have househelps and nanny(ies), to what extent you trust them.

Listening to the radio sometime ago, a woman narrated how all indication pointed to her househelp drowning her 1 yr old daughter. It seems she had 2 househelp and one travelled and the second wanted to travel as well, but she insisted that she waits since the 1st one was yet to return. Only to be called back 15mins on her way to work one morning to come to a nearby hospital. Doctors pronounced the baby dead from drowning. When asked, the househelp said the child fell into a 20 litre paint bucket that was half-full. She said she noticed the clothes of the child was different from what she wore earlier and were dry.

So many stories abound of awful and gory experiences with these househelps. Ranging from stealing, poisoning, witchcraft, kidnapping, killing, abuse and molestation of children etc.

I`ve been more than prayerful since we got the services of these people recently as I never grew up with them. I do not hesitiate to express my reservations about their conducts whenever the opportunity presents itself. I`ve told the nanny to get me two referees/guarantors (one must be her pastor) amongst other info requested.

With three kids, the youngest been 6months, to what extent can one trust them?

Contributions from experienced Nlanders are welcomed.

.

Food for Thought!

I know ALL of them 100% but with 0% trust even before they open their mouths. I can read their minds too  ALWAYS!!!. . . .especially in Nigeria. . . . THEY ARE NIGERIANS WITH ABSOLUTELY NO SURPRISES!!!

No surprises at all. . . for they are extremely entertaining.
But someone has to do the job. Keep a close eye on them and make them think you are 'dumb', while you anticipate and checkmate their every move/thought! Invest heavily in a safety deposit box outside your home for very important documents.

You pick and keep the very best from the very worst that's all.
So, I stick with extended relatives from my immediate family members or those family members have served in our families for generations.
Strangers as office workers but NOT AS DOMESTIC AIDES. . . . !!!

Treat them well, tolerate their genetically-unfavorable, m0r0nic, gene pool and avoid any form of domestic abuse. NEVER YELL AT THEM OR HIT THEM!!! Never use a reign of terror over them, even where you are strict in your dealings with them. Your most precious cargo are in their hands at YOUR own risk. Tamper justice with mercy always and they they may extend the same courtesy to your children/loved ones when you are not home too. (Maybe. Till your children can report ALL reportables. . .teach them to do just that without ANY fear or cowardice and with the utmost discretion/diplomacy)

Familiarity ALWAYS breeds contempt. Do NOT make them your friends or buddies. Keep educating them on the need to improve their lots, while you educate your children why they cannot degenerate to such levels on the other hand. Learn to keep both worlds apart, even where you want to take them as 'extended relatives'. This can never be a 'same but different' situation.

If it is a nanny position, make your children understand the role being played as a NANNY in your home for they can't be 'friends' either. Keep it absolutely professional and rarely personal.

So many stories abound of awful and gory experiences with these househelps. Ranging from stealing, poisoning, witchcraft, kidnapping, killing, abuse and molestation of children etc.

I have learned to tolerate the stealing, so my family can be spared the other horrors.
Like my mother always did. . . you always leave a little something for them to steal and pretend you are a fool. . . .it is called an all around BONUS for all(peace of mind for all and a small price to pay).

Keep lots of food around the house too and NEVER lock up your refrigerator. Let them keep eating and drinking away their senses thinking they are smart.
You find these all over the world too.
But the WORST cases are in Africa.

Well, you do your best and live the rest.
I escaped all these. . . my children will too.

I`ve been more than prayerful since we got the services of these people recently as I never grew up with them. I do not hesitiate to express my reservations about their conducts whenever the opportunity presents itself. I`ve told the nanny to get me two referees/guarantors (one must be her pastor) amongst other info requested.

If all that pastor 'she*t' works for ya. Not for me.

Your best bet is to get people who have been in the family for years, or have worked for your other siblings or relatives. . . and you have observed for yourself. You know their parents. . .siblings. . .and all that kind of stuff. YOUR FAMILIES GREW UP TOGETHER. . .as socio-economic parallelograms whose lines have never touched or crossed . . . .generations to generations living side by side. . .they keep moving on, getting married and living their lives too. Most of them graduated from colleges and gotten married too and doing well for themselves(for those who make good use of the opportunities instead of spending time stealing pieces of meat/fish from pots of soups or canned drinks/booze from the pantries as long-term career goals. . . .na their level be dat na. . . please do not disturb them by any means. . .mu he he he he).

Most of the people you should employ are people you know their socio-economic backgrounds. . .not total strangers in this day and age to take care of YOUR children.
When things go bad. . .you know how to track them or their relatives. YOU ARE ACCOUNTABLE TO EACH OTHER'S FAMILY. If anything happens to them, you are accountable and vice versa, even where there are absolutely no guarantees.

The best referees you can get are those they have worked with in the past. . . .not 'fake guarantors'!

Your extended relatives are often the best sources of demestic helps. . . you can help each other that way.
Why employ a total stranger when an extended relative can benefit from it all?


Rule of thumb?

THE DEVIL YOU KNOW IS ALWAYS BETTER THAN THE ANGEL YOU DO NOT KNOW. NO SURPRISES.

I do not employ 'born-agains'. Period! Never!
Give me a witch. For I already know he or she is a witch. . . not a wolf in sheep's clothing.

With three kids, the youngest been 6months, to what extent can one trust them?

You can't be serious. . . .
MOST "sharp" women are pros with the first precious cargo by the 1st week. 3 kids and you are still asking the most basic questions?
Hopefully, you will "gher[b]rrrrrr[/b]it" by the 10th kid. . . Honey, it is 'INSTINCTIVE'!

Finally, it is very important you allow those domestic aides some 4king rights amongst themselves(if they soooooo feel like it and they are not underaged minors). . . so your children and minor relatives are spared their demonic randin[b]esssses![/b]

Nice topic.

breathless:

Pardon me if this topic has been posted and thrashed before. I would like to know from the those who have househelps and nanny(ies), to what extent you trust them.

Listening to the radio sometime ago, a woman narrated how all indication pointed to her househelp drowning her 1 yr old daughter. It seems she had 2 househelp and one travelled and the second wanted to travel as well, but she insisted that she waits since the 1st one was yet to return. Only to be called back 15mins on her way to work one morning to come to a nearby hospital. Doctors pronounced the baby dead from drowning. When asked, the househelp said the child fell into a 20 litre paint bucket that was half-full. She said she noticed the clothes of the child was different from what she wore earlier and were dry.

So many stories abound of awful and gory experiences with these househelps. Ranging from stealing, poisoning, witchcraft, kidnapping, killing, abuse and molestation of children etc.

I`ve been more than prayerful since we got the services of these people recently as I never grew up with them. I do not hesitiate to express my reservations about their conducts whenever the opportunity presents itself. I`ve told the nanny to get me two referees/guarantors (one must be her pastor) amongst other info requested.

With three kids, the youngest been 6months, to what extent can one trust them?

Contributions from experienced Nlanders are welcomed.

e as these people, the sooner you learn to treat people like people and not lesser beings the better, hey are providing a service you cant give, because they are poorer or less educated doesnt mean they are less than human. Why dont you get to hear cases like these abraod? because you will not get away with half of the discriminatory and horrible practices you do to helps over there. Most Nigerians treat helps like slaves, the pay is horrible, hours and duties not defined, verbal and pysical abuse, yet we go to church and lift holy hands, am not defending them oh but we need to check our attitude. Used to reason like this once, had helps who didnt seem to do anything right, till i realised my attitude was wrong. My Mum had helps who were raised like sisters we went to same schools they had same time to rest and do homeowrk, we shared house task but i expected too much from my own help, not until i changed and started treating her fairly did i get the best from her, she does all the things she is expected to do and more and i keep my own part, i dont raise my voice when she is wrong but we discus issues, share ideas and i even ask her of things i dont know, then her wages are very fair. What you give is what you get, if you treat your helps like slaves then they will treat ou like a master whom they have full contempt for, but if you are a fair employer then they will be good employees, remember that this is a job like any other, they are not scums of the earth but workers
See the problem right there, refering to someone who you put your child in their car

Blazay:

0% trust. . . .especially in Nigeria.
But someone has to do the job.
You pick and keep the very best from the very worst that's all.

Treat them well, tolerate their genetically-unfavorable, m0r0nic, gene pool and avoid any form of domestic abuse. NEVER YELL AT THEM OR HIT THEM!!!
Familiarity breeds contempt. Do NOT make them your friends or buddies. Keep educating them on the need to improve their lots, while you educate your children why they cannot degenerate to such levels on the other hand. Learn to keep both worlds apart even where you want to take them as 'extended relatives'. This can never be a 'same but different' situation.

If it is a nanny, make your children understand the role being played as a NANNY in your home for they can't be 'friends' either. Keep it absolutely professional and rarely personal.


I have learned to tolerate the stealing, so my family can be spared the other horrors.
Like my mother always did. . . you always live a little something for them to steal and pretend you are a fool. . . .it is called a BONUS.
Keep lots of food around the house too and NEVER lock up your refrigerator. Let them keep eating and drinking away their senses thinking they are smart.
You find these all over the world too.
But the WORST cases are in Africa.

Well, you do your best and live the rest.
I escaped all these. . . my children will too.

If this helps.
Your best bet is to get people who have been in the family for years, or have worked for your other siblings or relatives. . . and you have observed for yourself. You know their parents. . .siblings. . .and all that kind of stuff.
Most of the people you should employ are people you know their socio-economic backgrounds. . .not total strangers in this day and age.
When things go bad. . .you know how to track them or their relatives.
The best referees you can get are those they have worked with in the past. . . .not 'fake guarantors'!

Your extended relatives are often the best sources of demestic helps. . . you can help each other that way.
Why employ a total stranger when an extended relative can benefit from it all?


Rule of thumb?

THE DEVIL YOU KNOW IS ALWAYS BETTER THAN THE ANGEL YOU DO NOT KNOW. NO SURPRISES.

I do not employ 'born-agains'. Period! Never!
Give me a witch. For I already know he or she is a witch. . . not a wolf in sheep's clothing.

Never knew I could agree with you on anything, but here, I agree 100percent

(my sister, It is the Grace of God.) Madam Chaircover, that should read `my brother`.

All responses so far has been great. Some with comic relief. Fair enough, I know I`m humane in my dealings with people. The decision to hire their services was borne out of necessity (as always). Our younger ones living with us gained to the university and had to relocate, a relative tactically left unannounced, other family members and relatives considered did not fit in. One we had sometime was discovered by our neighbour to me harsh on the kids (she did not last 2wks), another ended up destroying my daughters clothings, and when asked why she did it, she said "nothing". (thank God for the exposure). This was inspite of the fact that they are treated humanely and well catered for.

Both the nanny (who is a grandmother) and live-in maid we have, are only restricted from our bedroom (which is locked when we are out). I make them know immidiately of any conduct I`m not comfortable with. I`m more tougher with my kids than them (cos they are humans) and make them realise that`s my prerogative. I`m more concerned with for my kids and most times I implore to be of good conduct in their presence as they are still in their formative years.

Most times we ask the nanny to close before time and the maid to go to bed on or before 10pm max(depending on when we get home) irrespective of whether she`s done with her chores or not. We restrain her from doing all the chores herself as we also participate actively. I sometimes bathe and feed the kids, fix myself a meal and return the plates to the kitchen, iron my clothes, that of my spouse and kids, wash the car etc. so they do not think we are helpless with out them. My spouse has assumed the role of an "underground cover agent" (cos she understand yoruba) by "playing" along with them while I keep a straight face though noting all that happens around (when priviledged)

In all, I still keep praying for God`s mercies and favour with these set of people.

Blazay:

I know ALL of them 100% but with 0% trust even before they open their mouths. I can read their minds too  ALWAYS!!!. . . .especially in Nigeria. . . . THEY ARE NIGERIANS WITH ABSOLUTELY NO SURPRISES!!!

No surprises at all. . . for they are extremely entertaining.
But someone has to do the job. Keep a close eye on them and make them think you are 'dumb', while you anticipate and checkmate their every move/thought! Invest heavily in a safety deposit box outside your home for very important documents.

You pick and keep the very best from the very worst that's all.
So, I stick with extended relatives from my immediate family members or those family members have served in our families for generations.
Strangers as office workers but NOT AS DOMESTIC AIDES. . . . !!!

Treat them well, tolerate their genetically-unfavorable, m0r0nic, gene pool and avoid any form of domestic abuse. [b]NEVER YELL AT THEM OR HIT THEM!!! Never use a reign of terror over them, even where you are strict in your dealings with them. Your most precious cargo are in their hands at YOUR own risk. Tamper justice with mercy always and they they may extend the same courtesy to your children/loved ones when you are not home too. (Maybe. Till your children can report ALL reportables. . .teach them to do just that without ANY fear or cowardice and with the utmost discretion/diplomacy)
[/b]
Familiarity ALWAYS breeds contempt. Do NOT make them your friends or buddies. Keep educating them on the need to improve their lots, while you educate your children why they cannot degenerate to such levels on the other hand. Learn to keep both worlds apart, even where you want to take them as 'extended relatives'. This can never be a 'same but different' situation.

If it is a nanny position, make your children understand the role being played as a NANNY in your home for they can't be 'friends' either. Keep it absolutely professional and rarely personal.


I have learned to tolerate the stealing, so my family can be spared the other horrors.
Like my mother always did. . . you always leave a little something for them to steal and pretend you are a fool. . . .it is called an all around BONUS for all(peace of mind for all and a small price to pay).

Keep lots of food around the house too and NEVER lock up your refrigerator. Let them keep eating and drinking away their senses thinking they are smart.
You find these all over the world too.
But the WORST cases are in Africa.

Well, you do your best and live the rest.
I escaped all these. . . my children will too.

If all that pastor 'she*t' works for ya. Not for me.

Your best bet is to get people who have been in the family for years, or have worked for your other siblings or relatives. . . and you have observed for yourself. You know their parents. . .siblings. . .and all that kind of stuff. YOUR FAMILIES GREW UP TOGETHER. . .as socio-economic parallelograms whose lines have never touched or crossed . . . .generations to generations living side by side. . .they keep moving on, getting married and living their lives too. Most of them graduated from colleges and gotten married too and doing well for themselves(for those who make good use of the opportunities instead of spending time stealing pieces of meat/fish from pots of soups or canned drinks/booze from the pantries as long-term career goals. . . .na their level be dat na. . . please do not disturb them by any means. . .mu he he he he).

Most of the people you should employ are people you know their socio-economic backgrounds. . .not total strangers in this day and age to take care of YOUR children.
When things go bad. . .you know how to track them or their relatives. YOU ARE ACCOUNTABLE TO EACH OTHER'S FAMILY. If anything happens to them, you are accountable and vice versa, even where there are absolutely no guarantees.

The best referees you can get are those they have worked with in the past. . . .not 'fake guarantors'!

Your extended relatives are often the best sources of demestic helps. . . you can help each other that way.
Why employ a total stranger when an extended relative can benefit from it all?


Rule of thumb?

THE DEVIL YOU KNOW IS ALWAYS BETTER THAN THE ANGEL YOU DO NOT KNOW. NO SURPRISES.

I do not employ 'born-agains'. Period! Never!
Give me a witch. For I already know he or she is a witch. . . not a wolf in sheep's clothing.


You can't be serious. . . .
MOST "sharp" women are pros with the first precious cargo by the 1st week. 3 kids and you are still asking the most basic questions?
Hopefully, you will "gher[b]rrrrrr[/b]it" by the 10th kid. . . Honey, it is 'INSTINCTIVE'!

Finally, it is very important you allow those domestic aides some 4king rights amongst themselves(if they soooooo feel like it and they are not underaged minors). . . so your children and minor relatives are spared their demonic randin[b]esssses![/b]

Nice topic.

the bolded parts gave me food for thought  the colored part had me rolling on the floor chei! 

...

aisha2:

e as these people, the sooner you learn to treat people like people and not lesser beings the better, hey are providing a service you cant give, because they are poorer or less educated doesnt mean they are less than human.

My sister,it doesn't always follow.Of course we've to treat them humanely,but there are some that no matterr what you do for them,they would still act very ungratefully,you will be shocked.If you like,spend so much and send them to the same school as your children,shop for them from the same franchise shops as you do for your children,take them along on holidays abroad,when dem act,you wont even know what questions to ask as you'd just be dumbfoundedI'm talking from experience per this one

...

@chaircover. just thank your God for the one u have. these people called househelps are EVIL. they are agents of the devil sent on all types of demonic missions, and God help you if they achieve their plans. no matter how nice u are to them, they end up still trying to do what ever evil they habour in their minds. the saving grace is that ur niceness to them prevents them from suceeding 100%.

as for food, once u give them free hand, they eat like very greedy gluttons without a care in their minds. the job they are being paid for is never done as expected. they maltreat ur kids no matter how nice u are to them because they are very envious. try putting them in school; they end up being pregnant

have u bothered to wonder why they cant stay in any one house for long? they are DEMONIC people. i personally believe that they are under a curse from above.

lucabraski:

@chaircover. just thank your God for the one u have. these people called househelps are EVIL. they are agents of the devil sent on all types of demonic missions, and God help you if they achieve their plans. no matter how nice u are to them, they end up still trying to do what ever evil they habour in their minds. the saving grace is that your niceness to them prevents them from suceeding 100%.

as for food, once u give them free hand, they eat like very greedy gluttons without a care in their minds. the job they are being paid for is never done as expected. they maltreat your kids no matter how nice u are to them because they are very envious. try putting them in school; they end up being pregnant

have u bothered to wonder why they cant stay in any one house for long? they are DEMONIC people. i personally believe that they are under a curse from above.

You need deliverance. You are the type that will burn your maids hand because they ate meat or pour pepper in thier private part

@Aisha. i dont need deliverance. these home wreckers are very fortunate that God gave me the kind of mind i have, otherwise i would have done worse than what u stated to them.

maybe when u sit and discuss with other mothers that their innocent children have been initiated into witchcraft, or the mothers that have kids that have been inflicted with venerable diseases gotten from househelps, or even the wives/mothers that have been thrown out of homes by househelps, u would understand. even the recent cases of infant kidnaps by these same people. Haba

i stand bold to say that they are demonic people out on various missions, who should be avaoided if possible.

From my experience, nannies/stewards who do funny thing are usually the ones that are abused both verbally and physically. It's very common is Nigeria to see men sleep with their maids while threatening them with doom if they spill the beans or wives who will come back home after a bad day and cast all anger and frustration on the poor through needless shouting,screaming,heaping insults,demeaning the poverty stricken background of the house help and eventually assaulting the person physically. I might sound one sided but from all i've seen, women are the most guilty in this regard. They treat the maids as if they are sub-human, they remind them of the gutter they came from and threaten 2 return them back unless they "change". Most modern day "house helps" in Nigeria are actually SLAVES! When you treat a person badly, it would be naive to expect good from the person. All the person would be thinking of is how to save themselves from your cruelty even if it means stealing from you or worse. . .they could get even by plotting with robbers,kidnappers or even assasins. People need to think twice when dealing harshly with individuals. Treat people well and most (not all) will reciprocate. You cannot sow the wind and not expect to reap the whirlwind. End of!

@lucabrasi. . . I am utterly disappointed with your comments. It's ppl like you that sit on the front row in church every sunday and yet, resort to diabolical means to "solve" problems. Are house helps not human beings? The fact that you are comfortable today is not a guarantee for tomorrow. There's a pal of mine (older than me) who at one time had over N150 million in liquid cash. Somehow along the line he lost it all through bad deals including his assets. I have coughed money on several occasions to enable pay school fees of his 2 kids. Of recent, one of the house helps who was chased out of the house by his wife several years ago on accusations of witchcraft is the one assisting him now. The young man from "good for nothing" family is now a big exporter of mineral ores to Europe! That "useless winch pikin" that used to wash oga and madams cars now drives a 2007 nissan pathfinder! He is now teaching his "oga" the ropes of the business. Would the young man be doing this if my pal was cruel to him? What am talking about? NO ONE KNOWS TOMORROW. If go broke and eventually die tomorrow, your children could end up as a house help. If you are in Nigeria, have you ever wondered what would be the future of your kids if civil war erupts? Please, quit being so myopic and shallow minded. It could be your child tomorrow. Nuff said!

No Emotions. Strictly Business. And before you get one do an AIDS test. Do that regularly. Thats what we do. No one wants a mistake. Your kid might just be slotting his penis in the wrong places. . .

chaircover:

This is the trouble though. When we do things with a view for a reward, we are disappointed when the reward doesn’t quite match our expectations.

You sound a bit hypocritical here by standing logic on its head,sorry.What kind of reward would one possibly get from a nanny/house help other than that they do duties diligently abd reciprocate the love showered on themNannies and house helps are actually the ones that do things(work) in order to get a reward(pay),so what exactly are you talking about

BTW,do you have/have you ACTUALLY hired nannies/house helps(you don't have to answer that)

...

^^^^
so u don't trust me ehn ehn ehn
ok oh

...

what am i then?

...

I was employed by Mr CC to watch over you on NL. So what does that make me?

...

No deal
I'm loyal to ma master ONLY dammit.
No egunje for dis dude

...

chaircover:

In answer to your question - Hired Househelps/nannies NO
Hired Staff - Yes

That settles that

chaircover:

You mentioned the word ungrateful in one of your posts and I am telling you the reason why you judge them as being ungrateful is because it could be that you look at what you are doing as a favour to them and therefore expect some type of "thanks" from them.

I have a better plan;strictly professional now.They do their job and get their pay,no more holidays for them(except the one they'd make home to their folks),it's only the gifts/presents that we wontCAN'T withold,my wife and I are hooked on giving

chaircover:

what I am saying is this; if you can afford it, do the best you can regardless of whether they are appreciative or not. You are sowing a seed.

Sowing a seed eh ,pastor chaircover please stop sounding like a scammist
Anyways,I'm the one that is in the best position to determine what constitues my best as per your post above

//

eeya my apologies bro breathless

Accepted. All contributions noted so far. Question on my mind now is how do you do a background check on these people without them knowing? Will their past employers be willing to cooperate? Will it be "wise" to involve the police? (in 9ja). Are there any method(s) you use to scoop enough info to safeguard yourself and family?

So many questions, so many.

//

thank u chair cover, i rem goin to church in naija n seeing countless house girls dressed in rags while oga, madam n the children r draped in the latest garments----i used to shake my head in awe cos these wicked idiots r suppose to be going to the church of jesus christ oooo

i saw how alot of my mothers friends used to threat their house helps with utter disdain---as if they werent humans----i began to realise i wasnt cut frm the same cloth as these bum holes----then u hear them say my house gal is a witch, i dreamt she was putting poison in my foood----with the way u threat the poor sod am surprised she didnt strangle u while u were having ur stupid dream -----if i was a house gal in naija----i go don plan as i go take run,,,the night of my disappearance i will poison alll the family---children included-----no be naija--if karma wan come i dey ready