ThatIgboBoy:
Hello fam
I need your in put on this topic.
There is a lady I want to get married to. But we keep having one particular problem.
We both work. But she is of the opinion that her money belongs to her and she might decide to help out or not.
I am of the opinion that as a couple we have to work things out together. I dont expect her to pay any bill for me but to help out as a help mate. She flatly refused that her money is her money and she might decide to help or not. And that I should not have it in mind that she might help me. That the role of the man as the head of the house is to take care of everything.
I dont know if my perception is wrong here. I need experienced married folks to advice me.

ThatIgboBoy:
Hello fam
I need your in put on this topic.
There is a lady I want to get married to. But we keep having one particular problem.
We both work. But she is of the opinion that her money belongs to her and she might decide to help out or not.
I am of the opinion that as a couple we have to work things out together. I dont expect her to pay any bill for me but to help out as a help mate. She flatly refused that her money is her money and she might decide to help or not. And that I should not have it in mind that she might help me. That the role of the man as the head of the house is to take care of everything.
I dont know if my perception is wrong here. I need experienced married folks to advice me.

SmartProf:
From all indications she is a very selfish/stingy lady and her love for u if it exists at all is strictly conditional. These are the type of women that if you run into issues with paying ur children's fees, they will rather allow the kids to be sent home from school rather than support their fees, and brainwash those kids to feel you are an irresponsible father who cares less about them. Women like her won't permit u to eat from ur home if at any point in time you are financially constrained to support feeding. Pls allow her to remain happily married to her money. You can even encourage her to print her face on all naira notes she owns. Look, there are still good women who are ready to be a support system to build a home together with a decent man. Don't convince her anymore else you are telling us indirectly that u want to invest in what will aid u commit sucide someday. You are extremely lucky she decided to open up on her true nature about her financial perception in marriage cos just like egungun, na express you dey go. Keep off that lady, infact maintain social distancing cos with her in your life, there is danger ahead.

ThatIgboBoy:


That's her orientation oo

That I should look at her as if she is not working.
Thst her sister not working does not supports her husband.
Told her that's a different case. That's understandable and moreover tla wise husband would look for a way to help her get a job or start a business. The sisters husband just opened this paga business for her.
She said no way. That I should see her as not doing anything. That her money is hers. How many times does a man buy a shoe in a year? That her own is to take care of such things for herself and I the man should take care of the family. That if she starts adding to the family it will make me become relaxed and lazy.
Moreover I am not asking her to pay major Bills. Just minor things she can contribute to the house on her own volition. I am not apportioning responsibilities to her.

EmperorMaria:


As una form gud girls online 2

Saintmary:
ThatIgboBoy,
Personally, I think some ladies prefer to spend on only their husbands, and until the wedding ceremony has been completed, she is not your wife.
Lots of ladies have spent money on fiances only to get jilted for the flimsiest reasons.
Try and find out the root of her stance if you're interested in making things work.
All these people advising you will not live with you in your marriage.

ThatIgboBoy:


I am not asking her to support me now. I meant after we married. Working together as a couple helps us achieve goals faster. She ain't part of that. Said I will be the man of the house and carry the responsibilities of the home. She can decide to help or not and that I shouldn't even expect any help from her.
With the same mouth she will be asking why I am delaying to come and see her people. Is that not heading directly into disaster?

ThatIgboBoy:
Hello fam
I need your in put on this topic.
There is a lady I want to get married to. But we keep having one particular problem.
We both work. But she is of the opinion that her money belongs to her and she might decide to help out or not.
I am of the opinion that as a couple we have to work things out together. I dont expect her to pay any bill for me but to help out as a help mate. She flatly refused that her money is her money and she might decide to help or not. And that I should not have it in mind that she might help me. That the role of the man as the head of the house is to take care of everything.
I dont know if my perception is wrong here. I need experienced married folks to advice me.

franchasng:
I am going to advice you like a brother who is also happily married.


Listen, don't make mistake of marrying the wrong lady in this life..marriage is simple and sweet if you marry a mature, understanding and well trained lady. Romantic love and sex romps are never good reasons to marry anybody.


I am married. I worked but no longer working but an employer.

My wife is working, and earning very good salary all thanks to her profession..before I married her, I never had the intention or wished for my wife to contribute a dime to our family, I wanted to be the all and all of my future family when I was single so I worked so hard and God being on my side, fortune smiled on me and I was doing very well before I married and I chose the Lady I married not marriage by mistake or pressure.

I had a harem of ladies; I mean gorgeous ladies, including foreign ladies which my wife then one of my gfs knew.

I silently observed her way of life, her personality, her beliefs, her vision and her dreams, and I was satisfied before I decided to marry her.

I had the money to do a one in town wedding that will appear on all media platforms online and offline, but right from my time as a boy I hated wedding ceremonies so I did the most quiet, coded wedding that guests were invited, screened, packaged and re screened, no phones, no uninvited photographers, no wedding dance, no high table, no gifting, I gave out gifts, I didn't need anything from anybody, all I needed was witnesses to the wedding.


My wife accepted it; 99.99% of Nigerian ladies of today will never accept it, talkless of a hot looking medic, you know how our ladies wish to do their wedding in the moon but my wifey accepted it. This is where you start to know the kind of lady you are getting married to, the wedding planning time. Shine your eyes during that time, it will open your eyes to the type of woman you are planning to marry. But many guys don't pay attention here, they get carried away by fun fair and what I don't know. Honestly its not good to rush into marriage as a guy, take your time. I did, and it paid off.

To tell you the type of Lady she is, she insisted that she would pay for our flight ticket to and fro our wedding location, I laughed because I already booked. She went behind me and paid the caterers which she hired through her elder sister. She wanted to contribute at all cost despite knowing that I can afford the whole thing. That gave me joy.


My wife is ready to empty her savings to solve family problems even before I get to know.

She knows that I pay my company admin who happens to be the highest ranking staff on my payroll, half of her salary, yet my wife doesn't care, she spend her salary on little issues even when I tell her not to do it.


She recently gave birth to our first baby, because both of us are so occupied, we hired a nanny to look after our little boy, my wife pay this nanny from her salary even before I know. I warned her not to try it again that I have already made provision for the nanny to be paid as my staff, that she should stop it and save her salary for some other bigger projects for herself and assisting people she wish to assist without my knowledge but she insist that she wants to be paying the nanny herself.


Maybe because I told her to resign until the baby is like 1yr six months then she can go back to work which she refused that her profession won't work that way so I allowed her keep her job.


But all I am trying to say is this; be wise, look for a virtuous lady and marry. Don't marry all these social media freaky ladies that have mastered all the cunning lifestyle on earth and waiting to practice it in their marriage and already seeing every man as a bad man suspect.


My wife only uses social media for work, family, few friends, and news. I am the one helping her to catch up..she is such an angel lady and there are million ladies like her, look for them, leave that stingy daughter of Jezebel to go marry men that will reset her stingy, wicked brains.


What else are you making money for if not for your family and loved ones and to help those in dire need



Sorry to say she is a bad woman with very bad upbringing and probably have lots of negative encounters with different men. Run from ladies with lots of negative experience with other guys, they are usually bitter and stupidly smart.


Whenever I read some married people's negative story, I keep wondering how because my marriage has been so sweet and smooth, its as if I am still single self, no stress, no worries, God bless my wifey

lovelybugs:


You might just need to have a deep conversation with her.
Sometimes all these things women hear about men who waste their money outside makes then scared to invest financially in their homes.
She needs to see you guys as one not two then only will she be able to contribute.

One thing to avoid is having this my own, my own mentality in marriage. Even if you bought it with your money only it becomes ours.

When you see your partner as the same no sacrifice will be too big to make.

If you speak to her, she's not willing to change her mind and you know you can't cope please rethink the union

MetroBaba1:


You deserve a bottle of Cold + Chill budweiser drink

Dear OP, for she to be honest with you, be honest with her. Let her know that you don't need a woman who can't assist you when you're down.

Oga, sit up

chinonyinye:
Hi. I'm not supporting her behaviour in any way. I want to ask a question for clarification.
While discussing finance, did you also discuss house chores? Cos she might be feeling shortchanged as some men want to eat their cake and have it. They expect the woman to contribute but refuse to partake in house chores claiming they can 'choose' to help or not.

In all, no sane woman will see issues in her house and not resolve them as long as she's financially capable to do so

crackhaus:

[s]You have answered yourself by yourself...[/s]

chinonyinye:
Hi. I'm not supporting her behaviour in any way. I want to ask a question for clarification.
While discussing finance, did you also discuss house chores? Cos she might be feeling shortchanged as some men want to eat their cake and have it. They expect the woman to contribute but refuse to partake in house chores claiming they can 'choose' to help or not.

In all, no sane woman will see issues in her house and not resolve them as long as she's financially capable to do so

ThatIgboBoy:

We both earn above 100k tho she is slightly higher and work in different organisations. I believe pulling resources together will make us achieve more. Set goals together and achieve them. But to her No. She says I am the man and must be willing to bear all the financial burden. That her money is hers. That if she decides to help no wahala. And if she refuses I should not feel bad. That that is why i am a man. That men now marry working women and this tends to make the men lazy and not hustle hard.

ThatIgboBoy:
Hello fam
I need your in put on this topic.
There is a lady I want to get married to. But we keep having one particular problem.
We both work. But she is of the opinion that her money belongs to her and she might decide to help out or not.
I am of the opinion that as a couple we have to work things out together. I dont expect her to pay any bill for me but to help out as a help mate. She flatly refused that her money is her money and she might decide to help or not. And that I should not have it in mind that she might help me. That the role of the man as the head of the house is to take care of everything.
I dont know if my perception is wrong here. I need experienced married folks to advice me.

SmartProf:
From all indications she is a very selfish/stingy lady and her love for u if it exists at all is strictly conditional. These are the type of women that if you run into issues with paying ur children's fees, they will rather allow the kids to be sent home from school rather than support their fees, and brainwash those kids to feel you are an irresponsible father who cares less about them. Women like her won't permit u to eat from ur home if at any point in time you are financially constrained to support feeding. Pls allow her to remain happily married to her money. You can even encourage her to print her face on all naira notes she owns. Look, there are still good women who are ready to be a support system to build a home together with a decent man. Don't convince her anymore else you are telling us indirectly that u want to invest in what will aid u commit sucide someday. You are extremely lucky she decided to open up on her true nature about her financial perception in marriage cos just like egungun, na express you dey go. Keep off that lady, infact maintain social distancing cos with her in your life, there is danger ahead.