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The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. - Family - Nairaland

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The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by NiggaBoi(m): 11:04am On Oct 07
I have come across a sizeable number of ladies and I always love engaging them in different types of conversations. I'm a person that's so focused about making a good living for myself so I'm always interested in seeing everyone around me successful and doing great. But it really breaks my heart every time I ask my female friends what they picture their future like.

The first thing they always talk about is getting married. They got me thinking and I got to understand why. The average African girl has been brought up with the mentality that marriage is the greatest achievement for them. That's why we have a lot of females feeding off men and depending on them for everything.

Our society not having enough independent females is one of the major causes of abuse of women. I'm always happy when I see females excelling and doing well in their various career paths and family life. But I guess the mentality of viewing marriage as the greatest achievement for a female has to be abolished. Our society will be better if we have as much successful females as their male counterparts.

My name is Ola, and I'm a male feminist.

Pls the mods should help me push this to FP.

75 Likes 10 Shares

Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by tosyne2much(m): 9:18pm On Oct 07
It's not every lady that wears skirt that can be addressed as a woman

Laziness and lack of productive minds are the common traits of many ladies of today

25 Likes 3 Shares

Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by Afam4eva(m): 6:14am On Oct 08
We're brought up to have divergent views on life. While some think education is paramount, others think that without marriage, they're not fulfilled. We should not always try to force our school on thought on other people. Not every woman will be financially independent. So, let's leave those who think marriage is supreme to follow their heart.

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Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by NiggaBoi(m): 10:48am On Oct 08
Afam4eva:
We're brought up to have divergent views on life. While some think education is paramount, others think that without marriage, they're not fulfilled. We should not always try to force our school on thought on other people. Not every woman will be financially independent. So, let's leave those who think marriage is supreme to follow their heart.
I acknowledge that it's a general ideal that the woman is subservient to man almost throughout the world. But wouldn't the purpose of getting an education be defeated if every female were to choose marriage over a potential glowing career? Why then should they go through the rigors of getting an education in the first place?

12 Likes

Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by NiggaBoi(m): 10:49am On Oct 08
tosyne2much:
That's just the kind of society we find ourselves bro
It's really sad.
Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by Afam4eva(m): 10:53am On Oct 08
NiggaBoi:
I acknowledge that it's a general ideal that the woman is subservient to man almost throughout the world. But wouldn't the purpose of getting an education be defeated if every female were to choose marriage over a potential glowing career? Why then should they go through the rigors of getting an education in the first place?
A lot of women have become educated and are pulling their weight just as much as men are, so it's their prerogative of an individual basis to decide what they want to do with their life. Contrary to feminist shenanigans, women are more likely to want to be subservient and cared for. This maybe due to either their nature or a learned skill from patriarchy. Even here in Nigeria, a lot of women who are highly educated are not afraid to leave a career they would have had in a heartbeat for marriage. While some others will pursue career to the detriment of marriage and family. it's a case of personal choice and we should allow people to make their life choices.

50 Likes 1 Share

Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by lovelygurl(f): 6:32am On Oct 11
I laughed at the male feminist loool but op, I do agree with you. Being a feminist is not restricted to one gender, just say you are 1. Male feminist sounds so funny grin

6 Likes

Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by NiggaBoi(m): 10:35am On Oct 12
Afam4eva:

A lot of women have become educated and are pulling their weight just as much as men are, so it's their prerogative of an individual basis to decide what they want to do with their life. Contrary to feminist shenanigans, women are more likely to want to be subservient and cared for. This maybe due to either their nature or a learned skill from patriarchy. Even here in Nigeria, a lot of women who are highly educated are not afraid to leave a career they would have had in a heartbeat for marriage. While some others will pursue career to the detriment of marriage and family. it's a case of personal choice and we should allow people to make their life choices.
Well, I have no other choice than to submit to your well constructed response. The whole thing that I'm preaching here is the understanding of the concept of choice. Seems like many female children in our society nowadays are not aware of the choice because the society says so.

14 Likes 1 Share

Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by NiggaBoi(m): 10:36am On Oct 12
lovelygurl:
I laughed at the male feminist loool but op, I do agree with you. Being a feminist is not restricted to one gender, just say you are 1. Male feminist sounds so funny grin
Thanks. I just felt like I have to say it as it is.
Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by NiggaBoi(m): 10:40am On Oct 12
This post needs more publicity please. The Mods should help move it to FP. Lalasticlala Mynd44 Seun
Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by slimshadyl(m): 11:40am On Oct 12
well said @op.
the female should also stop slaying and start getting more serious and also find something reasonable to do with their life.

6 Likes

Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by slimshadyl(m): 11:40am On Oct 12
NiggaBoi:
The Mods should help move it to FP. Lalasticlala Mynd44 Seun
now they have
Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by Adaumunocha(f): 11:41am On Oct 12
Marriage does not stop any lady from fulfilling their career dreams pls.
The society has nothing to do with one being melancholic over seeing their mate with their husbands and kids... I don't think that void is socially inspired.

13 Likes 1 Share

Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by BonkoINC(f): 11:42am On Oct 12
No be small rain dey fall here o....choi

3 Likes

Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by SmartyPants: 11:42am On Oct 12
So what exactly is the philosophy of male feminism?

1 Like

Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by oviejnr(m): 11:42am On Oct 12
I can't agree less but not all of them cool
Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by candlewax: 11:42am On Oct 12
please can i fry egg with pepper spray? urgent

cc Augustap, ScotFree

1 Like

Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by sirusX(m): 11:42am On Oct 12
To each his own

Marriage doesn’t limit one’s creativity or zeal for achievement

6 Likes

Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by Daeylar(f): 11:42am On Oct 12
The independence or not of ladies has nothing to do with why they are abused,
They are abused because the useless men choose to do so, don't give the useless men excuses

Other than that nice write up op.
Although there is nothing wrong when a woman wants to be married.


But I guess the mentality of viewing marriage as the greatest achievement for a female has to be abolished.
Nothing but the truth.

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by Pidgin2(f): 11:43am On Oct 12
grin That's why my female friends are few and far in between. They've got nothing more to talk about lol meanwhile I'm an electronic geek grin

5 Likes

Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by Apogee14: 11:43am On Oct 12
african women dont need feminism. feminism is a western concept because western societies are patriarchal. african societies are matriarchal so its insane to even suggest feminism

3 Likes

Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by DIKEnaWAR: 11:44am On Oct 12
Ok
Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by Brugo(m): 11:44am On Oct 12
Let us look at this from another viewpoint. Marriage is an achievement to those who view it as so. Don't condemn them.

A girl who grew up in a functional home where the father provides leadership and finance would see it as an achievement to marry someone like her dad.

Also, a poverty stricken but beautiful lady is often inclined to view marriage (to a rich guy) as an achievement even though her only asset is her good looks. Marriage is her one way ticket out of poverty.

It is also an achievement for an enterprising young man to marry a thoughtful, hardworking, high-flier woman.

If you marry a good spouse (someone who gives you peace of mind and support), you would know in your heart that it is a big achievement.

40 Likes 4 Shares

Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by bettercreature(m): 11:45am On Oct 12
You called it wrong perception at the same time you said those you engaged told you their first priority is marriage
Mehn you can not pass a debate,you are in support and against your question

2 Likes

Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by supersystemsnig: 11:45am On Oct 12
NiggaBoi:
I have come across a sizeable number of ladies and I always love engaging them in different types of conversations. I'm a person that's so focused about making a good living for myself so I'm always interested in seeing everyone around me successful and doing great. But it really breaks my heart every time I ask my female friends what they picture their future like.

The first thing they always talk about is getting married. They got me thinking and I got to understand why. The average African girl has been brought up with the mentality that marriage is the greatest achievement for them. That's why we have a lot of females feeding off men and depending on them for everything.

Our society not having enough independent females is one of the major causes of abuse of women. I'm always happy when I see females excelling and doing well in their various career paths and family life. But I guess the mentality of viewing marriage as the greatest achievement for a female has to be abolished. Our society will be better if we have as much successful females as their male counterparts.

My name is Ola, and I'm a male feminist.

Pls the mods should help me push this to FP.


Male feminist oooh... Na wa




Different stroke for different folks. Every woman has a right to desire marriage and to hold it in whatever way that pleases them, one issue with the notion about the female folks and marriage is the obsession with the male folks about how the female folks see themselves or what for themselves.

Every female has a right to fantasize about marriage, and has a right to their choice of partner without unnecessary interference from the media, and the speculative noises. Op, let women be abeg, if they so much esteem marriage as the greatest achievement of a life time, it's their cross to carry and bear, this issue has long been overflogged by the society...Be it to everyone according to his/her desires


Peace !!!

8 Likes

Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by Pavore9: 11:46am On Oct 12
Apogee14:
african women dont need feminism. feminism is a western concept because western societies are patriarchal. african societies are matriarchal so its insane to even suggest feminism

Humanity is evolving.

5 Likes

Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by YelloweWest: 11:46am On Oct 12
So op in ur opinion a married young lady cannot be successful?

If a woman aspires to be married, how does that in any way rob her of success? Pls explain.

6 Likes

Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by Adaumunocha(f): 11:47am On Oct 12
Apogee14:
african women dont need feminism. feminism is a western concept because western societies are patriarchal. african societies are matriarchal so its insane to even suggest feminism
D only African society that I know of that is matriarchal is Ghana...

11 Likes

Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by xynerise(m): 11:47am On Oct 12
I still think Societal and Family pressure should not be hold responsible alone...Some women are just naturally lazy and dependent.

2 Likes

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