I have been busy and really stayed away from home for a while. I decided to come for the Easter and a meeting was convened solely because of me; a summon was sent from the family elders. The emissory was my mother.

After a welcome statements and a re caste of the difficulties the family grappled with to make sure I successfully completed school and even studied abroad, my eldest uncle (my dad is late) paused and asked if I wanted a drink, to which I said no.

I was really eager to have him come out clean. It was like waiting for eternity. He cleared his throat and took a colanut from a sylver platter and carefully scooped a paste of groundnut meal and pushed all into his mouth. He cleared his throat again after chewing for a while and commenced his statement.

"Its been two years since the land in Grove was allocated to you..."

He paused again and drank from a cup of water.
"we want to know what is happening",

"He hauled this igbo addage which is a rhetorics alluding the fact that I have all that is needed to excel.

"Your mates that do not have half as much education and career have turned this village around in various projects. We demand an explanation." He concluded

I simply told them I had no immediate explanation. And that I have never been lazying around except do what is reasonably expected of me as a man. That is use my income modestly as much as my needs would accomodate.

They uninanimously demanded to see my wife in two weeks time.

I have wondered if this is good intentioned or just undue pressure from the family

But my thought:

It is quite good to check on the progress of family members but, when this kind of subtle pressure accompanies it, it becomes overbearing. And could lead to avarice or some base instincts.

pimper24:

It is quite good to check on the progress of family members but, when this kind of subtle pressure accompanies it, it becomes overbearing. And could lead to avarice or some base instincts.

Some mothers!

You are indeed correct in thinking this could lead to avarice. The short time you've been given will clearly lead to an unthought out choice which you will rue it due time.

You hopefully, nay! You sound like you have a mind of your own and will not be blackmailed nor dictated to.

Why did they demand to see your wife when it is clearly not her business?


Hope they won't try to blame her for bla bla bla coz you didn't meet up to expectation, coz that's the next thing village meeting on someone's head can lead to, looking for who to 100% blame.

@Pimper24, are you by any chance related to Chinua Achebe?

Avarice

@pimper24,

Eku ede geesi

Before we see avarice and avabeans,

Were you aware of your responsibilities/expectations upon getting the land? Is there someone who could have gotten it and bypassed because they thought you would 'develop' it faster?

What is the precedence of such allocations in the past?

We need to understand the basics before we can advise on an approach to resolve.

Eziama kwa? In Umunochi? Hope its not the one in Eluama.

It's a small world. Let me come and be going.

bukatyne:
@pimper24,

Eku ede geesi

Before we see avarice and avabeans,

Were you aware of your responsibilities/expectations upon getting the land? Is there someone who could have gotten it and bypassed because they thought you would 'develop' it faster?

What is the precedence of such allocations in the past?

We need to understand the basics before we can advise on an approach to resolve.

It is normal to share family lands among male children who are of certain age. There is nothing extraneous attached to it. It is expected that you develop it at your pace. It is unusual to mount pressure for such because the land rightfully belongs to the family member beneficiary.

pimper24:

It is normal to share family lands among male children who are of certain age. There is nothing extraneous attached to it. It is expected that you develop it at your pace. It is unusual to mount pressure for such because the land rightfully belongs to the family member beneficiary.

Ok, thanks

So why is your family pressurizing you?

Are they comparing you to contemporaries? What input is your wife supposed to have in the development?

AsherAmari:
Eziama kwa? In Umunochi? Hope its not the one in Eluama.

It's a small world. Let me come and be going.

Are you Callidora?

Wahala