Chapter 1.

Part One

Early Tuesday morning.....

The birds call rang at my window, but I didn't budge. The low humming of the alarm sounded rather soothing than its intention of having me wake up. The early morning breeze charmed its gentle tease and I found myself shivering in delight from the cold it left in its wake.

Mornings were never my forte, but then again, waking up at 5am just never did sit right with me. It could be my mundane everyday routine that sucks the joy out of my life, but I'd rather blame the world for been less exciting and delightful. There were more happier times.... smiles, laughter.... I could still hear the low gentle tone whispering sweet nothings to my ears, could still feel the gentle caressing his touch left on my skin, could still smell his warmth that graced and awakened all the right senses. I felt myself shivering once more, but it was not from the cold anymore. I wished it was.

"Good morning. How may I help you Sir?" I heard myself say.
I sounded rather cheerful than my demeanor would have me judged. I was never one to be caught unexcited, but something just doesn't sit right this morning.
First it was the old lady I met that kept looking at me with pity in her eyes, I could swear she knew something I didn't, but that was the first time I was meeting her.

"Good morning Ma," I greeted and walked past her, past the security, past my colleagues and straight to my desk.
For some reasons though, my stomach still hasn't gotten the groove of the 'it's time for work' party. It seems very gloomy and very unsettled.
That doesn't seem very promising, but that is a problem for when I get back home from work, I sighed.

"How do you do that?" the young man asked, standing a good feet above me. He leaned a gentle but puzzling smile towards me as his frown lines created a crease on his forehead.
His scent wafted an apple and green leaves smell and I couldn't help but draw in a silent breath.
I'm not sure how, but both scent work amazing together. "How do you smile, but the look on your face doesn't match it?" he added.

"It's a gift" I tried to sound smart, but it came out rather abruptly, when I sighted my boss coming towards our direction, entourage and all.

There comes a time in your life when you feel..... you know what?, I've made it in life. The rest of you can go drown yourself in the oblivion of self-doubt, pity, denial and all things wonderful in life, for all I care, because I am settled and there is nothing anyone can do about it.

That time hasn't come in my life, and I'm not sure when, or if it would come, but I wouldn't strike it out just yet, hoping I'd at least hit rock bottom before I decide I'm done. My boss on the other hand has attained that height.
Very delightful young man, frown and all, with the face of an angel. A devilish, angst angel, but an angel all the same.

Seeing him walk towards me brought afresh the low thumping feeling on my lower belly, but now is not the time for that, "avert trouble first, tend to pain later" I sing-songed in my head , a tight smile plastered on my face.

"Good morning Sir" I greeted, almost forgetting a visitor was standing right besides me. If it was urgent, he would have sounded it when he came, I told myself. I'll get back to him when I'm done.

"I want you in my office, immediately!" he spoke in a low menacing tone, a smile plastered on his face like the devil-angel he is.
And just like that, he breezed right passed me, entourage still tight knit.

"What a delightful soul" I whispered.

"He is, isn't he?" someone replied from behind me, startling me. My stomach dropped once again, and this time, the pain felt somewhat familiar, but I just suppressed it with a smile.

"I'm so sorry Sir. How may I help you?" I asked.

"You already asked that" he replied, but still never told me what he wanted.

"I...." the words did not leave my lips when I felt it. "Oh God! No..." I whispered

"I'm so sorry Sir, but please excuse me" I said hurriedly and brushed past him, to make a beeline towards the rest area.
But as always, fate always has a funny way of telling me, I am nothing but pudding in its hands.

"This cannot be happening..." I just remembered why my boss was been overly not cheerful this, morning. I have a presentation to make to him and the other board of directors. He needs me to get him up to speed so I don't make him look bad in front of the others. "Why doesn't the ground open up when you need it to". I bit out when I felt the first drop.

Oh no.....

Nice start. Following

Chapter 1

Part Two

"I am sorry mom". I pleaded with tears streaming down my eyes. I swear I don't know why. I did not do anything.
My cries and pleas continued, but she paid no heed.
I begged but she she just shook her head in visible agony.

Even as a child, it surprised me that I could seem to read her emotions, and they weren't pleasant. She was holding back the tears I was giving away freely. If only it could have kept her.... it didn't

"Please stay for me, okay" she said instead. And then she was gone. It was as if she was never even there in the first place.

It was as if she was never there in the first place..... she was never there, nobody was there to tell me what to do.

I learnt it all on my own. But there really wasn't anything much to learn. It rarely ever came.

"Anita!" a very familiar voice called out my name. Any other day, the voice wouldn't be so bad, I've gotten used to it already, but not today. Not now. Now I'm terrified and I don't know what to do.

I don't usually prepare for it, because it just comes unannounced anyway.

How do you prepare for something you can't control or keep track of?....

"Anita!" my boss called out, his voice sounding even more closer than before. He is here. Any minute he is going to be right in front of me, asking why I am not in his office, why I am not running him up to speed on the presentation, why I am not preparing for the presentation that is supposed to happened in few hours, and why I am still standing rooted at one spot.

My legs quaked from beneath me, and I could fill cold beads of sweats travelling down my lower back.
Not many things get me scared, but then there are somethings that just happens that shakes me so bad, it knocks me out of balance. This is one of such things.

I stood, shaking from where I stood, unable to move. I wanted to blame it on fear, but I knew fear only isn't the problem

"Anita?" Now I could even smell his fragrance drifting to where I stood, which could mean if I turn, I might see him.

"Anita?" Another voice called. This one not so familiar, but I could swear I've heard it before.

"I'm sorry" I whispered.....

"Let us go" he replied

*****************************************************

"Let us go!"

It only took a 'let us go' to snap me out of my reverie.

I was walking and wouldn't stop but he wouldn't stop following me. It can't get any worse than this, "please let him stop" I prayed. Nobody listened apparently, because he was almost close to where I was.

That didn't matter anymore, because I finally saw it. A pharmacy.

I walked in, and he walked right in and stood by me. "Are sick?" he asked. "I can drive you to the hospital if you are". he added, placing a hand to my forehead.

"I'm fine" I replied shaking his hands away. I lied. I'm not.

"Good morning, how may I help you?" the nurse by the counter asked, but I couldn't reply.

I looked over to him, and then to her, the pain more intense than I remembered.

"Could you please excuse us Sir, I need to check on her" the nurse felt my unease and told. He took the queue and went outside to wait I presumed.

"Are you okay?" the nurse asked, moving to where I stood. She placed her hand to my forehead and withdrew it almost immediately.

"You're burning up" she cried out, and ran out to get things ready I supposed, I didn't care at that point. I didn't care about what she wants to do, what she wants to prepare. I just want something....

"Pain relieve" I whispered....

"I need pain relieve please....."

Chapter 2

Part One

I have always considered myself a person that has a decent sense of humor. Not too much, not too less, just the right amount to get by. So when I saw the look on my boss's face, I'd say it did make me suppress a laugh.....

**

Early Friday morning....

I sighed and got out of bed. I thank God for life and went about my routine. It doesn't really take much time, and soon I found myself in the exciting life of commuting.

People would argue the bus is not the nicest or safest place to relax, neither will they find it exciting, but I once sat through an argument between a driver and a passenger about a lady's sense of dressing. The fact that they argued a good thirty minutes about someone that breezed passed them wasn't the problem, it was that in the end, they concluded that she was beautiful. What excitement.

Not knowing what to expect when I reached the office, I worked majestically. Head held high, shoulders squared, view of concentration, straight ahead. No side glances. I did say hi to the security guard and that was it. Socializing is something I'm still working on, and in my defense, people don't pay me heed long enough to realize I can actually keep a good conversation.

My boss looked right at me when I walked into his office. The kind of look that pierces right through you and makes you come undone.

Squirming a little as I moved closer, I mentally prayed he doesn't notice that the confidence I came in with has taken to its heels and left my empty shell of a being vulnerable and a mess. I still hoped he saw the sorry excuse of putting a strong front I'm masking.

"Good morning Sir" I greeted standing at a halt, head bent downwards, whilst waiting for the outburst to follow.

His facials morphed into three different expressions in a span of 0.5 seconds. 'Anger', 'Disgust' and my personal favorite 'Disappointment' That's a personal record in my book, previous was 2 expressions in 0.5 seconds.

"What happened?" he finally spoke for the first time since I entered his office.
It is my fault if blames are to be passed. I'm not sure the vague email which stated "I'm sorry Sir, but I won't be at work for two days due to personal reasons." followed by unsubstantial excuses were details enough. It was the best I could come up with as at then.

"I'm sorry Sir. I had a personal emergency". I replied daring to sneak a glance for a split second just to see his expression. It was worth the risk, because he looked two seconds away from flipping out.

"I'm very sorry sir, it won't happen again." Please I added silently

"Did you take care of the personal reasons?" he asked, but before I could react or answer his question, the door flung open to show what I refer to as 'Queen of the coast'. She has a name, but I can't for the life of me remember it. So I just stick to 'Ma'.

Miss Human Resources walked in, spotting a scowl when she saw my boss and I.

'I'm not your problem aunty', I mentally sighed. He has a girlfriend, and it is a hard pass on Mr. Boss over here. If only people could read thoughts.

"We have a problem" was her reply to my greeting, which I realized was directed to my boss, not me.

"Go back to your desk" my boss nudged, "We'll finish this discussion later"

I walked out, praying to all the forces of nature to accept my plea and let him forget. But then I realized, I really didn't care when I came to work. The plan was to come pack up my belongings, but I seems I still had a job.

**

The day went by, and slowly the sun began to decline in its glow.

Nature did give my prayers a chance it seems, because he didn't come back to ask for me, rather I was given what felt like 2 weeks worth of documentation to take care of, and a presentation to prepare once more.

I trailed down the path to my house after the close of work, walking briskly to avoid any confrontations. It was a narrow walk, followed by a larger one as I got closer, and then an even narrow one. Walking down, I noticed a figure followed behind with every step I took. It was a lonely path and immediately my senses stood at alert. Nobody would hear if I screamed, and nobody seemed ahead from the distance where I was.

My steps doubled, and I could feel the adrenaline kick in, sensing an impending danger. I fished for my keys hurriedly as I came close to the bearings of my house, but the stranger seemed to be on my heels now. If anything I could use the keys as defense before running I thought. With one last resolve, I turned abruptly, defense tool in hand, ready to strike, but it fell short as the key dropped from my hands from the sight before me.....

xaviercasmir:
Nice start. Following

Thank you. I just really hope It makes sense, because I just felt the urge to write something. I'm not sure it falls under category 'story' though.

Lilyjoe567:
Thank you. I just really hope It makes sense, because I just felt the urge to write something. I'm not sure it falls under category 'story' though.

It definitely fall under category"story" as you put it.
Just wow your readers

Chapter 2

Part two

Trust was never something I've had problems with, but this seems lurking dangerously close to me having second thoughts about that notion.

Recognition finally dawned on me, this face I've seen before, but I couldn't place where. It didn't make me feel any less cautious and so I took tentative steps backwards. He seemed to have noticed my discomfort and moved few steps backwards.

'Daniel, my name is Daniel he repeated'. I went through the catalogue of names in my head, but a Daniel didn't seem to ring a bell.

'You don't know me' he added like it would make it easier for me, it didn't. It was still late at night. I am still standing alone, and worse, a stranger just confirmed I don't know him, but he still is in front of me.

'I'm sorry' I said in a whim, it was the only thing I could think to say.

He looked perplexed, but didn't show it for far long. Soon enough he was smiling, it felt calm, so I braved staying a bit longer then intended.

'Anita' I told, but he smiled even more.

'I know who you are.'  He said delightfully, like he just confirmed the most beautiful thing ever existed

'I've been watching you, everyday'.  

The warning bells in in my head chimed a warning. I didn't know how to feel. Not only has he confirmed how dangerous he might be, now I might not live long enough to take the long deserved vacation I always wanted to. It seemed unnormal that that was the thought in my head, but its the only thing I could think about. It was what gets me up each morning, and graces my dreams at night.

"Please, I'm sorry, but you have the wrong person". I replied, voice sounding a bit shaky than intended.

"Please wait....." I didn't wait long enough to hear more of what he had to say, but he didn't move to follow. It gave some kind of hope that maybe, just maybe, his plans weren't to murder me in the middle of the night. Probably even more later at night then.

Now safely tucked under my blankets, the weariness kicked in, and in minutes I could barely remember the happenings of the night.

---

The sound of the alarm, unlike any other day, wasn't as pleasant. I jerked upwards to incessant banging at my door. That was a first, I never get visitors. I was know as that girl who as breezes in and out, never one to socialize.

I stopped my alarm, grabbed and wrapped my robe around my frame, and walked towards the door.

'Who's there?' I asked warily

"Anita. It's me. Open up' came a reply from a voice I thought I'd never hear again.

My head felt heavy, and I could feel my insides recoiling from the thoughts that followed. Now who's going to save me?.....

Chapter 3

Part one

There are two things that I thought I'd never get rid of in my life, my anxieties and him.
I'm still not rid of the former and the later is staring directly at me, smiling. Dimples tucked perfectly in, eyes gazing directly to my undoing.

"Can I come in?" He asked. He knows he didn't need to, I'd let him in either way. It's how things always go. I can never say No to him, but he did anyway.

I stepped aside and he walked in, already bearing dominance with his presence alone. I could hear my heart play my heartbreak ballad. Each stanza a sad melody, a reminder of what was, followed by the trail of tears he left behind, but my heart showed the warmth instead. The giggles. The happy moments. The touch.... his touch, and immediately, I felt myself draw in a much needed breath. 

**

"Good morning Sir, I greeted with my usual smile plastered on my face. Sometimes I feel it's a real one, but sometimes I'm not so sure.

"Good morning Anita. How are you today?" The look on my face might have given away my shock, because he smiled.
Two unusual things happening at once, that can't be a good sign.

"I'm not that bad a boss, am I?" He asked, the smile still playing on his lips. I didn't know if to reply Yes or No to that question.
'Yes you are not a bad boss, or , No you are not a bad boss. Either way, both seem painful to say somehow.
Good thing the logical part of my head knows just what to say.

"I'm very fine Sir. I'm very sorry, I was just taken unaware by your question. Not that that was a bad question".

"Is that so?"

"Yes Sir, and you are a very good boss. I added, mentally giving myself a nod of approval. Maybe I am getting better at lying after all.

"Thank you Sir for your concern" bowing a little, I gave a courtesy nod.

"Please, call me Femi" he said, and just as he came and he walked, to his office that is.

It's like the devil's field day, or I'm about to be fired. Can't believe I'm praying this but I wish for the former, I still need this job after all.

"We have a meeting to attend to. Its impromptu that's why you don't know about it".
My boss told as I got to his office few hours later. "I'm sorry for telling you this now, but it is imperative that I be in attendance. A technology I'm biding on to get very well depends on my presence there".

So many things keep happening today, and I'm not sure to keep up anymore. First, someone I never thought I'd see again was at my door, and now my boss has been nice to me for four hours now today. It seemed eerily strange, and unsettling.

"Anita...."? My name been called brought me back to reality. 

"Is everything okay? He asked, with genuine concern written on his face. It felt a bit surreal.

"I'm sorry Sir, I'm fine". I forced a wary smile.
"We have a meeting, what venue sir?" I quickly wrote down in my little book, awaiting for his further response.

**

My job is always to make him look good, give information he needed for events, both formal and informal. And then make sure he is well organized, workplace wise. So when we walked into the venue of said meeting, I fumbled. Details I was supposed to know where lacking and I can't seem to do my job as well as I'd like to.

"Anita?" He called my name, even more gentler than before. I think this will have a little getting used to.

"Don't worry, I'll take care of everything" He smiled. He smiled yet again. And as all things happening out of the usual today, my heart thumped.

"Let's go in". He beckoned, and I followed suit, telling myself it's just stuffy in here. I knew that wasn't true, it one of the most beautiful and spacious place I've ever been to.

'The meeting will begin in few minutes', a voice announced and soon enough everyone was seated awaiting the guest on honor, I presumed.

"I'm sorry, I kept you all waiting" a voice, a familiar voice spoke, and all heads turned towards its direction, mine included. 

I was right, it was a familiar voice, and an even familiar face.....

Chapter 3

Part two

"Hi"

Those were the first words he said as soon as he got in, eyes fixated, gaze piercing a hole through to me. He looked comfortable, too comfortable to be here for someone who's engaged last I heard.
I'd always pictured myself walking down the aisle to him, flower in hand, steps measured, on foot in front of the other to the rest of my life, our lives. That didn't happen. Instead I heard he chose another, or maybe I was the backup. I never really did get closure.
But now he's back, should I be happy he came back for me? He realized he loved me more than her and came back for me right?...

"Anita?..." The faint sound of my name had me turning my head towards the direction of the caller.
He had a puzzled look on his face like he couldn't figure me out. I couldn't figure me out too, so I guess were both lost.
Nothing was said to me, rather he nodded at approval and went about listening to the sayings at the meeting.

The meeting was adjourned and everyone scattered about, each to their own devices. 
I'd have to just assume it went well, because I never did pay attention to the details. Number one rule of personal assistant duties. Always take notes, and never not keep details.
I'm failing at everything lately.

"I'm sorry sir." I also realized I have been saying theses words a little quite often lately.

"Is everything alright? You seem out of it. That's unlike you".

"Yes sir, everything's....." the words died in my mouth. I was about to give my default answer  to his question as always when his words registered, that's unlike you. 

That's unlike me? I never knew he noticed. Has he been noticing everything I do, or was I the one oblivious to his gestures, because I already painted his picture?
He was never one to show any flaw, so the point never seemed meaningful.

"I'm fine sir, just a bit tired. I'll be fine. He didn't seem convinced, but he let on. 

We went on ahead to see the business partner he was acquainted with. Not much information was giving still about him, and I just assume he has his reasons, or I'm not supposed to know.

"He will be with you shortly" a lady, not any younger than myself. She looked a bit prim and proper, smartly dressed. She seemed like she has her issues together and knows to do her job properly, can't say the same for myself, not lately anyway.

Shortly after he walked in. Were first impressions always wrong. I was always had the notion of not judging a person based on circumstances. Have I gone against my will and judged him too wrongly?.

That wasn't our first encounter though, I was more polite the first time around. I asked if I could help him. That was back at the office, he didn't reply though. He followed me around instead in the worst possible day ever imagined.
Then once more, close to my house. He does have a thing with following me around, and creeping behind. 

Now in his place of dominance, he does seem more like a man that commands respect just by the mere fact of his breathing than a stalker like I had presumed. I keep getting everything wrong lately.

"Femi" he called extending his hand towards my boss for a handshake.

"Daniel" my boss replied with a smile of acquitting, reciprocating his will for a handshake. They really are acquainted after all if they go by first name basis.

"Miss Anita" he repeated same process, hand stretched out towards me.

"Good afternoon Sir" I took and shook his hand, bowing my head a little. More because I'm embarrassed, than out of respect. I'd like for him to believe it's the later.

"Daniel is a friend, old school friend though. But we kept in touch after school and somehow remained close."

My boss explained, although he didn't need to. I'm not entirely sure I'm supposed to know this. But I'm sure I'll be seeing more of Mr. Daniel if the deal and meeting is any explanation thereof.

The conversation went on without me. Mr. Daniel either seemed like  one not to point out flaws or he somehow saw through my exterior and realized that if he brings it up in front of his friend, my boss, I might curl up in a ball of embarrassment and roll out to death of my career.

He did seldom glance towards my direction discreetly. I noticed because I was watching, hoping he wouldn't bring my poor mannerism to light, he didn't.....

**

"Anita, can I see you in my office for a moment?" My boss requested as soon as we got back to the office. It was a bit late now, closing time even. Everyone seemed to have gone to their various places of abode, save the security teams and some few workers in the process of doing so.

I ran through all the wrongs I might have done today that might make him want to mend me for my ill doings. Other than not been prepared for the meeting, I couldn't seem to think of any. So I braced myself and knocked gently when I got to his door. Peering a little in before moving to walk in, a gave a tiny fraction of a courtesy smile.

"You asked for me sir?" I asked cautiously, not wanting to provoke the gentle will he has been exhibiting lately towards me, but then he smiled.

"Yes Anita". He dropped all he was doing and turned towards the direction I stood, "Have you had dinner yet?" He asked....

Chapter 4

Part one

I lied.....

Why did I lie? It was something out of an impulse, but I did it anyway. Even so he knew, but didn't flinch, he smiled instead.

Now laying on my bed, gaze directly to my ceiling, painting an invisible color to it, sleep eluded me. I'm not really sure why I lied but it felt uneasy. Have I had dinner? seem like an awful lot of a personal question, or is it normal

What would have happened if I had told the truth instead... He looked earnest when he asked, making me almost wish I had said no.

**

"I love you...." He said with a smile, a gentle, candid, affectionate smile. It broke down all my defences, and had me a slobbering mess.
"I love you too..." I replied amidst tears. It's the first time a person had admitted it to me. My parents excluded. But they were genetically programmed to, he wasn't.

I woke up, my tears trailing down, making a wet patch on my pillow. I stared more at my ceiling, it seems the only thing that remains consistent in my life. I always only see it, but now 'he' is back.

Not a moment longer have I sniffed back the tears and wiped the remainder left on my face when my phone vibrated besides my bed, on my bedside table. I picked it up, swiped, and flinched a little, the brightness a contrast to the still gloomy room.

"Good morning beautiful, hope you had a good night sleep?, I'll see you soon." the message read. I didn't need be told who it was from. A dull ache rested on the pit of my belly, a reminder of how badly this would affect me if it went wrong again, but I suppressed it. I love him, and he loves me still, that's all that matters.

"I made a mistake" he said. A little part of me wanted to argue, but the bigger part thought better.
"It's you Anita, it has always been you. I left her, because I love you more". He loves me, my heart leapt.

"You hurt me, my head made a sorry excuse for a protest, but my heart already won. He loves me still, it reminded. He wrapped me in an embrace. It felt familiar, I've missed it.

Throwing aside my blanket, it felt better once more. I threw open the curtain windows, and immediately, the lights charged through to the dark room, illuminating it with its bright glow.

It was the weekend, and I felt oddly energized compared to how I woke. I looked about my empty house void of beings, left for me. Days like this I wonder why I decided to keep the house. They left it to me, a thought nagged. A three bedroom duplex seemed quite too large for a single person, but I couldn't bring myself to sell it off.
The will stated it was for me, and the other lots which was left behind. Then again, no other was going to come for it anyway, we were an awful small family unit, and an even smaller extended relative, who left the country as soon as I turned 20. I should be grateful they waited till I turned an adult before leaving me behind to a different country, but it still stings a little.
I speak to them from time to time, mostly them making sure I'm doing okay.
"I'm doing fine" has been my default answer, with a smile plastered on my face. Sometimes I mean it, and sometime I don't. I could tell my aunt could see right through it when I didn't mean it, but she sometimes don't press on.
"Take it easy okay? And whenever you're ready, you are welcome to join us over here".
"Thank you, but I'm fine" has always been my reply to that and so far, it has been working good.

The job was to keep me busy, busy from thinking about anything. I wake up early and return late. No time to be hurting and definitely no time to be sorrow wallowing. It's a good distraction, and it has been doing well so far.

I threw in a pair of tights and a tank top. A canvas to my feet and looked around for my headset.
Something I'd never done before, not ever. But for some reasons, I felt the need to clear my head, and running is the closest thing I could think of doing.

And so with the music blasting through the headset, I took my first jog, and then another, and soon enough, I found a rhythm. I ran out the block of flats, round the corner, and head first to a sturdy surface. The force pushed me backwards, and I landed butt first to the ground, a slight sting zinged though my being.

"I am so sorry. Are you okay?" The source of my fall asked, hands reaching out to pick me up.

"I am." I made to take his outstretched hand when I looked up to his face and stopped midway. He noticed too me too.

I can Explain

Hi, amazing reader or passersby who stumbled upon this 'story'.
I know what you'd be thinking, 'Not Again'.
I promise it's not.

Due to some work constraints, this work will be on pause for a while. I really am sorry.
The story isn't pre-written, so it's when I have a little free time that I squeeze in to write something.
And it is always a battle, because I would have to be in the right frame of mind to write something.

I work 7 days a week, and it was out of exhaustion and near sanity I decided to start writing this.

This is BTW, if you are or live in Abuja and you have interest in learning or you know someone who might be interested in learning
* Full Stack Web Development with Node Js
or PHP,
* Mobile App Development,
* Data Science with Python
* Frontend Development with React Js
* Data Analytics with Excel and Power Bi

Visit our website, or tell them to visit
www.reworktechnologies.com/academy
call 08179126829. Thank you.

Back to my explaining, Honestly, I gave up on writing a while ago, it just didn't make sense anymore. I preferred reading and work surely didn't help.
I feel bad seeing my unfinished projects, but I can't help it.

So, if you were reading this story, you're amazing. Don't give up on me yet.

If you are wondering any of the following, I'll answer them now.

Question: Why do I write the way I do?
Answer: I have no idea. There is no grand reason why, my head just comes up with the words, and my hands type them.

Question: Why are my stories confusing, and sometimes hard to understand?
Answer: There's a lot happening in my head really. I'm an introvert and so I always build scenarios in my head. Sometimes, I even confuse myself, but it gets clearer with time. And it's also fun to play the game of confusion.

Question: Am I really a young person writing?
Answer: In the words of Phineas, "Yes!, Yes I am"

Question: Do I have to write like an old person? Why can't I write the normal conventional way.
Answer: I'd like to think my story is normal. Not conventional, but normal

Have any more questions? Feel free to ask, and I'd try to answer them.

The pause is just till the holiday ends, I have a project to attend to. I should be back when it is completed.

The next would be an update, I promise.
Thank you.

On hold.....Aarrggh. Just when I got hooked and went ahead to root for Daniel.

Moura7:
On hold.....Aarrggh. Just when I got hooked and went ahead to root for Daniel.

So sorry, I'm back now.
Daniel??

Chapter 4

Part two

One time, a chance, two times, a coincidence, third time, work related coincidence, but a fourth time, I'm not so sure anymore where to classify it. I know to be polite and accord same respect as I would if we did meet in a workplace environment, but then again, he's as casually dressed as I am and looks to be doing same thing as I was before I fell.

"Good morning Mr. Daniel" I greeted, dusting the dirt resulting from my fall. "I'm sorry, I should have watched where I was going."

"It's my fault. I was on the phone and didn't look". It was then I noticed that his phone truly was laying to the ground, broken I presumed. It doesn't look a pretty site.

"I'm so sorry" I immediately made to get his phone, but he seemed somewhat distracted. "Here" I handed his phone over to him and thanked God, albeit slightly scratched, it wasn't broken as I had thought. He took it from my stretched out hand, his hand brushing slightly against mine.

"I'm sorry" I said for what seemed like the umpteenth time already.

"You say that a lot, don't you?" He replied with a smile. He really does do that often, even when I thought of him to be a killer, I was wrong about that.

"You smile a lot" I retorted, trying to hide my lack of been an active conversationalist, but he just went ahead and confirmed my words, showing even more teeth than necessary. Am I really that funny a person.

"I've never seen you smile though" He said, sounding a bit sombre, though still carrying about his cheerful look. His words hit me, and even though I knew he was right, it still hurt a little that I can't seem to find a reason to smile.

"I have to go. I'm sorry" I gave a polite bow and ducked right passed him, not waiting to hear him say more. He seemed to have understood because he didn't call back.

I ran more than anticipated, the breeze passing swiftly by me. His words echoing in my hears I've never seen you smile though. It was true, can't remember the last time I had a genuine smile and or laugh, so instead, I ran even more. Heart thumping more than its normal beat, it felt riveting, felt welcomed, until I remembered 'he' was waiting for me.

**

"Hi!" he said in his usual charming smile. Once it was one of the few things that comforted me, carried my worries and made me forget, but now, now I feel agitated. He is here, he's not going to leave again right? instead I smiled in return to mask my fear.

"You look beautiful" he came closer, placing a tentative kiss to my cheek, and just like they came, the worries disappeared, and a rush of warmth crowded my stomach. I'll be just fine I thought.

"Thank you. You don't look too bad yourself" I joked. Of course he doesn't look too bad. He is and always has been perfect to me.

"Are you ready?" he asked extending his hands to me, but before I could reciprocate, my phone chimed from my little purse where it was kept. I gave an apologetic smile, mentally telling myself to switch it off as soon as possible when I saw the message on my screen.

"Anita I need you right now. It's Important. Please call me back". It read....

Lilyjoe567:
So sorry, I'm back now.
Daniel??

Yh, Daniel.....nice update.

Moura7:

Yh, Daniel.....nice update.

Thank you and happy Sunday

Chapter 5

Part One

I read somewhere about a person setting his alarm an hour earlier, so to stay awake, rant and wonder if the job is even worth, that sounds relatable. I didn't set my alarm earlier thankfully, but my brain decided to do the job instead.

04:00 am, my little bedside clock read, the gentle glimmer of light emanating from it mocked my fully awake self. I tossed from side to side to at least put in the one hour of sleep time I have left, but my intentions felt as futile as getting a cat to take a bath. 05:00am was the time I wake up every morning, but if for some reasons I get up before the time, I never will get my sleep back.
After what seemed like a lot of failed attempts, I accepted my fate and decided to get on with it instead. I turned once more to check on time, 04:05am it read. Now it's just mocking me.

I stayed still, the thoughts from the day before played a scene in my head, myself backed against the wall, breath held at bay, heart thumping a fast paced rhythm, uncertainty lingered in the air as we shared the same breath. "Anita...." he whispered, oh so gently it sent a chill down my core.

I sat up in a whim, drawing in a much needed breath as desired. I wasn't sure what was happening, but I'm not so sure I feel not comfortable with it.
The thought clogged my heart, making me feel some kind of discomfort, as I pictured 'him'. My boyfriend, we made it official once more. We didn't work out before, doesn't mean we wouldn't now.
He's trying again, and I like it. It's like he never left, or so my brain is trying to tell, and I'd like to believe it. Like to believe we can still have that which we had before, like we didn't loose it just to start all over again.

The events from yesterday were as bizarre as they come. The text from my boss, my excuse and apology to Mark, and me finding myself at work on a Saturday at exactly 12pm. 
Do I really need this job I thought, walking through the empty halls down to the office of my boss, 'you do' the thought whispered and I agreed. I really did. I need it to be sane, I need it to keep calm, to keep my feet to the ground, and to keep me from having the thoughts that keeps creeping in from time to time.

"There you are" he said with a smile as soon as I walked into the office and into the unexpected.

**

I really didn't do anything, but for some strange reasons, my heart tugged, as if being guilty.
'You did nothing wrong' I whispered getting up from the bed. I sneaked a quick glance to the bedside clock once more, 04:30am now it read. I can work with that I nodded in approval wrapping a robe around my nightwear.

It's still the weekend, so I'm not sure what I'm to do this early, so instead I got the kitchen to prepare for the service to come.

**

I walked into the church building feeling calm, rejuvenated and confident as always when I come in here. I breathed in the air, it smelt like it always did, like church I guess.

I'm on of those people that make the new comers in church feel less awkward about being here, and alone at that. So to say, I go to church to enjoy the songs, hear the word, have an amazing time with my father and go back to my house feeling fulfilled.
I'm not proud of it, but I am what people refer to as a bench warmer, and so with that resolve, I do it diligently.

So handbag in hand, stilettos tapping to the ground as I walked, I strode in, taking a turn to sit at my usual spot. 
The songs were sung and as always I enjoyed every bit of it, even sang along. It always is one of my favourite things to do in here, that and dancing, albeit my inability to do so properly, I try. 

Soon after, the pastor ascended the pulpit to share the word. I anticipated, getting out my notebook and pen, ready to take notes when I felt a presence from besides me....

Chapter 5

Part Two

The event of Sunday was not as dramatic as I had be.

I met him again, Mr. Daniel. It was more like he came to me. It's a mystery that I've been going there for a while, he has also been a member, but I have never noticed him. Still didn't notice him, he came to me instead.

Well if it were to be judged, it wasn't much of a mystery, it is a big church after all and that's why I liked it, nobody is concerned enough to want to know who you are, except for occasionally hellos and that's about it, for me anyway.

"Hi" he greeted just before the Pastor said a 'Praise the Lord'. 

"Hello" I replied, not knowing if to say more or not. It's a church, should I have said more to say or not, instead I just focused on the word not bothering to speak.

Now, I just dreaded seeing my boss. Normally, it would have been a different kind of avoidance, but now it's just plain fright.
I didn't know what to do or what I would say to him if I saw him. Would I be able to look him in the face even? I thought

Seeing him up close, right in my face, breath fanning against my lashes, caused a sensation I could not explain. I felt vulnerable for the first time in a while.
It wasn't the best kind of feeling, yet I couldn't stop thinking about it. His calmness about it all is as unexplainable as expected, like he knew the magnitude his effect on people in general, and me, by circumstances.

I was deep in my work that I barely noticed that a figure was right in front of me.
"Good morning Sir" I greeted in a breath, standing up abruptly, very unladylike of me.

He noticed, but smiled a calm.
"Hope you got home safe yesterday?" He asked and I nodded unable to utter a word.

"I'm sorry, I'm sure you're angry about it" he added.

Angry? Why would I be angry I thought, nothing happened. It seemed he noticed my worry, and the smile grew even more bigger than I have even seen his face move.

"For calling you out on a weekend" 

"Oh!" Was my lame remark. Of all things to say, I picked oh as a reply?

"I needed the help, and you're the only person that could help me" he said gently like I should feel hurt about it, and he's pleading his guilt.

Did I feel bad he called me? Yes I did, but he really didn't need explaining. Yes I shouldn't be working on weekends, and definitely shouldn't be pinned against the wall, but it was an emergency and an innocent misunderstanding. It doesn't need be explained.

"It's fine Sir, I'm glad I could help" I replied seemingly finding my voice, albeit a wee bit uneven. 

"And I am...." He paused, as if deciding against saying the next words, so he smiled instead.

"We have a meeting by 2 right?" He asked, his voice sounding businesslike almost immediately.

"Yes Sir!" I replied confidently. This conversation I can have, this I was used to. This I can agree to and with.

**

The walk back home always gives me time to think.

After apologizing to Mark for standing him up because of work, I'll admit, we do seem a bit drifted.
He hasn't called since I left him after my excuse, and I'm not sure if he's angry about it or not, he didn't show it if he was when I was about leaving.
I'll call you he said instead. He didn't call.

Should I be angry he didn't or should I just call him. It wasn't something of a debacle before, but now I see myself questioning my thoughts over certain things that weren't even noticed before.
Does he still love? He did he said 

Before I wholeheartedly believed he did, and never questioned because I was way in too deep.
Maybe it's because we just reunited, we're still getting used to each other once more that's why I'm finding reasons to doubt.

**

I  tried to unlock the door when I reached my flat, but noticed it had already been done, not by me though.

"Hello?" I called out, walking in carefully. I wasn't scared someone had broken in, because it doesn't look so, and the flat was a very safe one. No incident of such has ever been recorded since my stay here as a child till now, and it doesn't look like it's going to start with me. 

Just as I was about calling out again did he emerged from within my kitchen. Drying off his hands with my kitchen hand cloth, he strode to were I stood pace as gentle, before picking up a bit of speed.

"Hi" he greeted, when he got to where I stood.

Not waiting for me to reply, he dropped the napkin he was holding to the floor immediately like it burned, grabbed me by the face gently, and planted his lips on mine...

Chapter 6

Part one


It was my first, but he either didn't notice, or didn't show it. My heartbeat betrayed my guise to stay coordinated. The butterflies took to flight and my thoughts, a blurry mess. I heaved in and out, sending out what I could only refer to as a sorry excuse for a calm smile, but I might as well be half-grinning like a maniac. He made me feel good on the inside and I dreamed about a forever just merely looking at him.

That was then, now it still gave me butterflies, but just a tired and resting one it seemed. I still feel just the same though, I'd like to think I do. Nothing has changed, I lied to myself.

He pulled away, and my eyes fluttered open.  I smiled in acknowledgment knowing we'll be just fine, it will all be fine. It doesn't matter.

"Welcome" he greeted moving backwards a bit to give me space. It's like he knows me too well. I like the closure, but sometimes I like the space too. It could be because he still remembers, but I still appreciated it.

"When did you get here?"

"A little while ago." He replied, carrying the cloth he dropped before.
"I realised we didn't go on our date, and you are a very busy person, so I thought to bring the date to you."

It was then I noticed the table as been set. A flower to the middle, and candlelight lit up the place, lower than electricity would though. No wonder the place seemed dimmer in here.

The tears stung in my eyes and I blinked incessantly to keep them at bay. I missed this, missed the thought behind his actions sometimes. 
His words, and his love, but then he left.
It was a momentary spur, I told myself, he's back now it's all that matters.

"You didn't have to, it was my fault".... I tried to say more but he cut me off with a peck to the lips.

"It happens, and it's only natural that I understand after everything I did...."

I understood right? We never spoke much about it. He said he was sorry and I forgave him. He was the only person I know, and it broke me when he left. But he came back. Surely what he did can be overlooked, there's no point crying over spilled milk, we just clean up the mess and move on.
So the conversation didn't continue.

"How about you go get freshened up, and meet me here when you're done while I finish up." 
Hearing that, I was too happy to oblige, I didn't even let him cajole me any further. It's been a long day and he just gave me the strength I had lost all day in a single act.

Dinner was amazing and my host was even more charming. The conversations were light and there were smiles all about.

"How was your day? Do anything fun?"  I asked

"It was okay, work as usual"

That's all I usually get, but it don't matter. I wasn't much of a conversationalist myself in terms of work and my past. We talked about little random things instead all night, and candle lights burned out slowly as we did.

I stifled a yawn and looked to the wall clock hanging by the wall, 11:25 it read.

"Are you tired?"

"Yea, it was a long day. I'm sorry"

"It's okay, I'll clean up, you go rest."

I felt thankful and made to get up, and within seconds he was helping me find my balance.

"Thank you" I couldn't but embrace him. I smelt him, he smells the same as I remember raspberry, and all of him in a mix.
His arms came around me, and soon enough, his warmth overpowered my stressed self.
The thoughts came flooding in like deadly whispers, each crashing in like tornados, ready to pull me down..
Why did you leave? I wanted to ask but I couldn't find my voice. It's like I found refuge in him not knowing it hurt more than I let on.

I like this, I want this to continue, I don't want him to leave again, so instead  I buried it deep. Deep within my loins, down the pit of where all others have taken abode. It would find companion there.

"I love you" I whispered, letting go, before turning away so he wouldn't see the lone tear that has escaped.

**

The alarm rang and I clicked it off. I stared to the ceiling for what felt like eternity before finding the strength to begin my day.

I got to the office in time, and immediately got into my day's job, whilst waiting  for my boss to arrive. It usually a few minutes before he comes, so it's no surprise I came before him. I made it a habit of getting here before he does. It is more professional, and I'd like to keep the good impression I had going already.

The clock struck 11:00am and I was already beginning to get worried. He never comes this late, albeit hard to understand, never gives the time of the day to anyone and a bit stoic, he takes his job very seriously.
Though lately, I'm not sure what's going on with him. He smiles more often, to me I've noticed, and he shows little compassion now, and also the incident in his office.
He must be coming up with something and I'm not sure how to feel about that, happy or worried.

My phone buzzed from besides me, shaking me of my reverie. I carried it up and saw the name written boldly.

"Please come to my place, it's urgent" he sounded out weakly and hung up, not given me the chance to question. Immediately, I got up, carried my handbag and phone and rushed out.

Not waiting to answer questions that arose from colleagues due to my sudden reaction, I got out. I reached outside already flagging down a cab when the thoughts just came to me, I don't know where he lives.....

Nice one. The story line is superb

aprilwise:
Nice one. The story line is superb

Thank you

Chapter 6

Part two

"Thank you for coming" he said, responding to my greeting. He looked unwell, pale even, hair disheveled, eyes tired looking and distant. He looked seconds away from having a breakdown, both mentally and physically, he looked sick.

"Are you okay Sir? Do you need to go the hospital." I asked worried. Normally, this would be the moment the fright would kick in that I am in a strange environment, albeit a familiar face. It took Mark a good four months for me to brave having him around, little wonder I can't let go.

"Thank you Anita, but I'll be fine. I just need you to run an errand if you don't mind." He replied sitting on the couch to take the weight of his feet. He really looks to need a professional care.

A doctor, a nurse, a personal physician, anyone but me would know what to do in this situation, but Mr. Femi decided little olé me would be perfect to see him in this condition, and he doesn't look like he wants to get a help for himself though.

"What can I do for you Sir?"

"I need you to pick up a parcel from a client. It would be rude to have it be delivered, so I need someone there as a representative who would go in my stead." he said tiredly.

Now he's just talking in gibberish my thoughts nagged, but I shook it away hoping he would rephrase, because I can't see myself having a proper conversation with someone I'm not familiar with, It's a disaster waiting to happen.

When he didn't add to it, the fear creeped in. First off, I can't walk away from here with him looking seconds away from collapsing and, Secondly, I think Mr. Femi might be a bad judge of character. Does he even know me?
It took a lot of courage and self advising to get his address from a colleague I have barely said more than ten words to in a sentence since I started working here.
I was scared the office would misunderstand, but this is my boss we are talking about here. If anything, they should he scared for me.
Now he is telling me to represent him by meeting some persons, who are like him I presumed. Are we really lacking representatives in our organization who would do a better job than I would?.

I looked to the face of the man sitting tiredly on the sofa. He was trying and failing to keep awake, and my instincts kicked in and I felt the need to care for him.

I blame it on the only memory of my mother nursing me back to health when I was little, for the next action I took.
I pressed my hand to his forehead and he was burning up, he didn't even make to move my hand, he just sat there.

I rushed inward searching for his bathroom, grabbed a bowl and a cloth I could find, got water into the bowl and ran out, holding the bowl gently so as not to make a mess of his place.

Should I be worried that I was the one he called? He seemed to be doing quite fine for someone of his prestige. Lots of people around him, family hopefully, and his girlfriend. Oh God his girlfriend, what would she think me here, in his house, with him, alone. How do you explain that your boss called you to run an errand and you decide to nurse him to health. Does that sound reasonable an excuse? I am doing things way beyond me, and it's unsettling.

I pressed the wet cloth to his forehead, and he shivered a response. His tired lids fluttered open, but he didn't say a word.

"You are burning up, I just want to get your fever down". I explained, but still he stayed mute. His gaze seemed very fixated, but he had nothing to say. Instead he closed his eyes leaving me to his care, and so I did.

**

04:00pm the time displayed. I checked once more to be sure I'm not mistaken, I wasn't.

I sat up shaking off the remnants of sleep from off my eyes. I turned around to look for the patient in question but he wasn't where I left him. Panicking and hoping the worse, I got up and started to look about, and then, there he was.
He seemed better than I met him, thanks to my fine nursing skills I admit, and the help of Dr. Mathew's prescription too.
He is my doctor, not by choice. He has been family doctor for as long as I can remember, and my aunt made sure he is always one call away. Also, he has been helpful more than I'd like to admit.

Mr. Femi strode down, although still shaky a bit, he seemed better. He handed a glass to me, eyes not straying away from my face. It was like he is trying to memorize it, but I had other ideas. I pressed my hands to his forehead, surprising not only myself but he just smiled a reaction.

"Now I know who to call when I need a doctor's care" he smiled even more, and immediately my hands withdrew like they burned all of a sudden. Thankfully, he felt better as well.

"I have to go" I spoke, and made to get my things to leave, but he stopped me.

"You won't even let me thank you?"

"It's fine Sir, it's the least I can do".

"It isn't in your job description, but you did it anyway, so let my thank you". 

I tried to disagree, but he seems more persuasive than I had given him credit for.

I took and gulped down the contents of the glass, feeling it go down my stomach just reminded me I haven't had anything to eat all day, and my stomach growled in response. The embarrassment was like nothing I've felt in a while.

"Thank you" I said, handing the glass back and turned immediately, not wanting to show my heated face anymore. I carried my belongings as fast and made to leave, but was stopped in my track.

"You're not a very vocal person you know, so it's hard to keep a good conversation. It seemed the only way I could get a response from you that's why I called you".

It seemed he knew what I was thinking, but somehow, I didn't know why he was explaining it to me now.

I turned around, and there he stood, very close to where I was. I didn't even hear him move, but it felt like the office scene all over again, like déjà vu, only difference, I am not backed against the wall.

The words caught in my throat, and I suddenly lost the ability to speak or react.

"You are a tough person to have around you know" he smiled

Chapter 7

Part one

"Anita" I could hear the faint call of my name, but the last thing on my mind was having another conversation, the last is yet to sink in

I didn't hear the call anymore but I could feel the presence behind me, and I oddly felt calm. This would have been the moment I get self-conscious and scared, that a person was walking closely behind me, but I've lost the ability to react, funny how that sounds.

I didn't know want was happening, and they are happening all at once.
"I didn't think about Mark" I whispered and stopped, I didn't think about him even once. He used to be the only person I think about, it could be said he was the only person I could talk to, but I didn't think about him. That is bad, isn't it?

"Anita?" This time around, I could hear my name clearer, been called. The person stopped when I did. 

"Why do you keep following me" I turned abruptly, anger lacing my tone. My sudden outburst made him shift back a little. I knew who it was the moment I heard the first call, but my head was a mess to be in a calm state. I tried to shake it off but it wasn't going away.
I didn't think about him.

"You keep following me, and I keep seeing you around." Everything just seemed exasperating and I didn't know what to do. I'm just tired I tried to assured myself, but even I know that's a lie. I needed someone to vent on, and he just became a victim.

Funny how venting my anger had never been a problem before, because I never stayed long enough to have an anger even, not lately though.

Mark came back, and we're pretending it's fine, I'm pretending, he his just being Mark.
I didn't know it bothered me that much until a few hours ago, with a man standing so close to proximity, he was breathing down my face.

"I've done nothing wrong, but you keep following me around. Do you think am I child, or a lost puppy?" At this point I could feel the heat on my cheek, but I didn't care. My head tried to recoil, and bring back the façade I've learnt well to hide, but my heart won't let it, instead the anger burned from within.

"I've been nothing but honest. I smile, I talk when you want me to, I did everything you wanted. We were happy, but you.." 

I couldn't even say it. I deviated. I was projecting now, because he wasn't the target audience, but it seemed the person in front of me is still in much of a shock to say something, or he's choosing not to.

"What did I do wrong? Why did you leave? Why does everyone leave me?" The last part came out more of a whisper as my voice clogged. 
I didn't do anything wrong, I'm sorry. The words floated about my head, and only I could hear it.

I turned around and started my way back home, not minding if he kept following or not. I didn't care. I'm not crazy.

I wasn't sure how to grasp what is happening, because they are happening all at once.
It was like it was happening all over again. One moment I was laughing, the next I can't speak. Funny how things change in just a twinkle of an eye.

"She needs help Mrs. Walter, she's still a kid". This could affect her greatly.

"She is not crazy!"

"I'm not saying she is. She has been through a lot, and it would do her good".

"She is all I have left" the little woman broke down. "She is not crazy, I won't let you think of her as being one. She will be fine".

I am not crazy, I whispered into the night, if only it could debunk that.

I opened the door, and he was laying on the sofa. He looked calm, peaceful even, unlike myself. I was fighting a loosing battle on the inside.

I'm not crazy the words echoed on my head, but my heart isn't agreeing still. 

I closed the space between us, staring down on the man that was once my world, still is, I tell myself.

I'm not crazy. I reassured, and as though he felt my presence, he stirred awake, rubbing the sleep from off his eyes.

"Hi" he smiled a greeting, but I didn't say.

I'm not crazy, my head chanted and I kneeled before his seated self

"How was your day?" He asked smiling, but I couldn't answer. Why was he so calm, I'm about to loose my mind and he is calm.

"Anita?" He smiled even more. He got up and carried me up him, wrapped his arms around me, and his warmth enveloped. I could feel my eyes burn, but the tears never come.

I'm not crazy, I tried to say, but failed. So I did what I do best., I kissed him instead.

I'm not crazy, but she's not around to assure me that.

Chapter 7

Part two

Staring up to my ceiling, my only true and silent companion, my outburst scene played afresh in my head.
I winced realizing the damage I had caused.
He wasn't the target I whispered but no one was listening, it turns out I can't do anything about the source of it either.
Not wanting to dwell on it, I turned to check the time and sighed, I beat the alarm yet again. It's becoming a habit I'm not so fond of, but my mind doesn't have the peace it desires either. Where did it all go wrong?
I knew the answer to that, but I refuse to acknowledge it still.

**

He looked a lot better, and even earlier to work than I was. I could hear his low tune over the phone, and it sounded calm. That seemed like a good sign, I sighed mentally.

I knew, what do do, but dreaded doing it. 
Go over to his office, ask how he's doing, run him his schedule for the day and plan to it that it goes all well today. It's what I do everyday, it's what I've grown used to, but for reasons that happened few days earlier, it doesn't seem like a pleasant idea anymore.
The vision of days earlier flashed a scene and I could almost still perceive his smell waft over me. It clouded my senses and had me a disoriented mess, a mess that created another, regrettably.

I drew in a long breath and mustered up a semblance of a smile with just a thought in mind, if you ignore it, it probably didn't happen, right?
With that resolve I opened the door to his office, to see his calmly self seated on his chair.

"Mom, am I strange?" I remember asking once. The little woman looked puzzled, dropping the dish she was holding, bending face level to meet my inquisitive eyes.

Looking back, I did believe her words debunking the claims, telling me I am not. 
"You are the most uniquely, not strange person I have ever met". She said with a reassuring smile. It made me smile too, and forget. What simpler times.

Not now though, now it seemed I'm the one placing the claims.
I might be strange, my head told, and I can't not believe it because my heart is beating 10 times his normal rate.

"Good morning Anita" he greeted with a charming smile, but I could barely look to his eyes.
Be still  I whispered, you've been doing this for years now, what's changed?
I knew the answer, but I wouldn't for the life of me admit to it.

"Good morning Sir" I greeted instead.

"I never got to thank you fully for coming over" he got up, walking over to where I stood.
My legs felt betrayed by the sudden weight my body pulled, as it quivered from beneath me.
I moved back staggering for balance, but he was already here. In front of me, smile so bright, hands by my shoulders holding me up. I struggled to say something but it wasn't the only thing I was I'm struggling with.

Chapter 8

Part one

Eyes spark a glint for what it beheld.
Heart thumped an unusual rhythm, for the thought of my unbecoming.
Lips quiver for that which I wish to feel.
Arms twitched for the touch it wishes upon.
Nostrils had never smelt anything more pleasant.
Senses are not sane, they seem desperate for the unknown.

The words felt close to what I was feeling. It was almost as though I was being mocked by it, but I was the one making up the words in my head, and I can't seem to control it.

My gaze fell upon him, but can barely keep to it. I felt ashamed, but would I have done differently? 
I keep thinking, it probably wasn't my fault, but even I know, I should know better.

Know thyself so the world can see you differently, were my mother's famous words, the advice seem far-fetched now.
I don't know myself, I don't seem to know what I want anymore. I do not think I want anyone to see me differently.

"Anita?" He called my name, but I can't acknowledge him. Smile, I tell myself, but myself seem too far away to listen.

"I'm just tired" I hear myself say, but that was far from the truth.
My heart thumped an unusual rhythm, for the thought of my unbecoming. The playback sounded loud and clear as I looked to him.

"I'm sorry, I just need to rest".

He smiled and nodded in acknowledgment, stepping aside to create a path for me, but I can't seem to move. It seems logical the right thing to do, but my being thinks differently.

"You look sad" a younger me looked up to see a sympathetic look from a man she knew not of.
"Are you okay?" He sounded so genuine it almost broke me, but I refused to speak.

Now looking back, the genuineness he carried years ago hadn't faded, he still had it, but like before, I refuse to speak.

"Anita?" He called out worried when he saw I didn't move, but I don't answer. It was at the tip of my tongue, what I wanted to say, I could could open my mouth and the words would come out, but I'm transported back to the last time he left.

It always is limiting when I realize that's all it could take for him to leave once again, so I refuse to acknowledge it. Instead, I see myself nod, finally force in a smile and walk away. 

I'm sorry, I whisper but to who though, because he doesn't seem like it was meant for him.

**

"Hi!" A voice woke me up from my reverie. I don't know for how long I've been sitting here in this position, but like the rest of the week, it went right by me.
I looked up to see, but the light from the sun was high up glaring, it caused a few seconds of disorientation for my eyes that I had to think otherwise. 
He seemed to notice my discomfort and jumped to my aid

"Thank you", I appreciated and looking back up to my unexpected guest. My eyes were free from the sun rays, but not from the the person in front of me, I thought.

I had only come to realize that he in fact stays in same neighborhood as I do, but the fact that I realized that a little later does seems understandable. It is a big estate, and not everybody knows everybody.

It isn't something I'd like to admit, but I have been avoiding him ever since our last encounter, but now it seems, sitting here, in the estate park wasn't the best idea if the plan was not to run into him.

"You have been avoiding me" straight from the accuser to the accused, he blurted.

I don't even feel offended, just impressed. I thought I was doing it covertly, I thought wrong. So instead, of denying it, I nodded in confirmation to his words.

Following, more updates please.

Missmossy:
Following, more updates please.

I'm so sorry, it might not be frequent as you would expect.

Chapter 8

Part two

How will I know if someone likes me? I asked my mother once.
For someone that left a while ago, I seem to be reminded of her a lot lately. I have conversations with even sometimes.
I always did growing up, it seemed right to me.

'It shows in their actions'  my mother replied.

I never really understood what she meant, but I accepted it with a smile anyway.
I refused to tell her my best friend wasn't speaking with me anymore, because a boy in school likes me and not her.
Little me didn't think her actions exuded likeness, but I didn't question it either.
 
'I liked him first. You don't even like him' she accused. Did I even like him then, or was it all in my head?
I think about it now, staring up at Mr. Daniel.

There was a time he was all I think about. Mark, he understood me. Made me laugh, made meaning out of my weirdness, and accepted, flaws and all. It came naturally, and it broke down all my defenses, and left me a bare and acceptable.
Where did I go wrong then, I thought.

I liked the idea of him Mr. Femi, and the new found attention he is giving to me. It seems nice, but it feels uneasy also.

I still love Mark, right?

I know that, I still believe that, but why do I feel torn. Why do I feel this way, this strange feeling of wanting something not to be desired in the first place. I try so hard to fight it, but it just seems futile.

"Am I a terrible person?" I asked. It feels like when I was little all over again, this time, I'm am fully aware of my actions and the repercussions. My mother is no longer around to tell me it wasn't my fault. I know it is all my doings, and I am failing terribly.

"Anita?" He called and I could finally hear him again.
"Are you okay?" He sounded worried, unlike myself. I was self-loathing, and it was unbecoming. 

I did that to him, I've come to notice I always do that to people. I always make them think of me as what I fear I might be, A crazy person.

'I heard she's crazy'  I heard once in school, by two kids my age. I didn't debunk their claims, rather I walked right past them.
'They don't know you', my aunt always replies, 'You are not crazy, you are unique'.
I believed that lie for longer than necessary. I have been in my head for way too long not to be called crazy. It seems comforting nowadays though, so I just accept it and take it all in in my usual silent manner.

"I'm sorry, I yelled at you. I was out of it that day'. I tried apologizing instead to him. He seemed like one of the few that has seen me in my little crazies' but still comes forward. I had to admit, I commend his boldness.

"I was having a bad day and you were there, so I took it out on you".

He didn't say anything, just stared. I wouldn't blame him, I would stare too. I was sure I had a good excuse for not rebutting his claims, but it just all seems useless to even try.

"I actually hoped for this day" he suddenly said, making my head tilt in confusion. I had a lot of scenario playing in my head, but the one where him hoping for this day to come came around.

He saw my confused expression, and smiled instead.

"Hi, I am Daniel, it's nice to meet you".

I am sorry....

Chapter 9

Part one

I always thought of my everyday life as mundane. It's as simple as it gets. 
There was a point I challenged nature 'throw me something, anything'  I said. Nature sure took a while, but finally it did. 
Now I'm hiding in the ladies, finding every reason not to walk right out, straight to my boss' office and right into his arms.

** 

I woke up feeling fine this morning, just fine.
Snippets of what transpired between me and him yesterday played in my head, and I couldn't help but wonder, what or who Mr. Daniel is.

'Hi, I am Daniel'  his words still echoed.

Was that supposed to mean something? He seemed way to casual and ready to introduce himself, while  I on the other hand just wanted to manage my thoughts and emotions well enough to mimic a sense of sanity, they seem all over the place lately.

"Why are you always by yourself?"

The words surely didn't take me by surprise, but it triggered a defensive anger instead.
I can be by myself, I didn't know anyone cared, nor noticed.  It surely did seem a personal enough question to ask a stranger, but I wouldn't know. 
Do we still seem strangers though, I would like to think so, but his countenance says otherwise.

"Mr. Daniel, Why do you talk to me?" I asked

My question took him him surprise I presumed because it passed a while before his signature smile returned, firmer this time. He could be laughing over the roofs though, and it still wouldn't change the fact that my question hasn't been answered.

"You are likeable"

"That sounds like a good enough lie"

"Why would you say so?"

"Even I know I'm not a delight, so you don't have to lie to save my honor" I chided.
 
I'm not sure why I don't believe his words. A little part of me wishes I just did, no arguments or questions asked. He wants to have a conversation with you because that is what normal people do, my heart say, but my head is not having it though. There might be an underlining ulterior motive to his move.

"Look, I have a boyfriend, I'm not interested in whatever you have going, I know your type, and I would just love to save my self the stress if you don't mind".

No sooner had the words left my mouth did the afterthought seem rather rude and impolite.
I had let my anxiety speak instead, it never ends well that happens. The repercussions are always not easily avoidable.

Apology, that's the next thing that ought to follow, but I'm suddenly tongue-tied. I see his facials go from embarrassed, weary, pity to sadness. Now, his expression just seemed unreadable, and I found myself defenseless.

I hated this part, the part where I can't do anything but sit and watch a predator, chopping away into my inability to defend my sanity and declare myself a more reasonable explanation, but the ambiance seemed stretched to its breathable limit, so instead I found myself scrambling away from his presence rather unladylike.

**

My phone rang from inside my suit trouser pocket, shaking my being back into reality. The thoughts felt overwhelming enough and I'm diving deep into the abyss of self loathe and unnormal decisions lately.

I pulled out my phone and saw the name I've been dreading since I came to work, the reason for my absence in my post of duty.

I've found every reason not to look to his direction since I saw him to walk in. I ran a coffee errand, printed documents I had no reason doing, had a conversation with someone I've never spoken three words to before, and now idling away in the ladies bathroom for fear of running into him.

I heaved in a breath and swiped to answer with shaky hands, pulling the phone to my ear.

"Anita, I need you in my office", he commanded, and just like that he hung up. The lower part of my belly dropped, dread peeking through to have a field day.

I'm not feeling too well, I'm not mentally, stable, I'm unfit to have a stable conversation. All seem like suitable enough reasons to not go to him, but I know I can't give any of them. They sound as unreasonable as hiding in here in the first place

"You called for me sir?" I asked, my voice masked with the pretense of lack of fear.

He looked up to me, and it felt as though he was holding back the words he was about to say, which made sense in a way. I know I'm hiding more than just words to say. 

"Write a summary on that" he handed over a document instead, barely paying enough attention to see my being in turmoil.

I carried and weighed the contents, and it felt fairly weighty.

"I need it as urgently if you would" he instructed.

"Yes sir," I nodded in understanding, already thinking of the late nights I'm about to pull. This would give me enough time to clear my head at least, I thought...
I was about to excuse myself, and let myself out when his words stopped me on my tracks.

"Do I make you uncomfortable?" 

It seemed like a right enough question?  Does he make me uncomfortable, but my response wasn't as forthcoming as did his question.

I felt the rise and fall of my heartbeat, soon enough it created an erratic rhythm. I thought I had quieted it, but he just with one spoken sentence had unraveled all my defense mechanisms and made be bare once again.

He makes me uncomfortable, he has been for a while now. At first, not in the slightest bit, but not lately though.

Lately he graces my dream, and let's my emotions paint a forbidden portrait. I dare say he does affect me, but I'd rather delve in the notion of denial. My lack of response somehow prompted his approach towards me. He eased himself right in front of me, breath fanning upon my downward gaze.

"Anita? Do I make you uncomfortable?" He asked once more, placing a tentative hand to my lowered chin, raising my face to meet his.

Yes, yes you do. The words could make their way out of my lips if I could just open them, but I fear for what I would do if I did open them, instead I looked deeply into his eyes.
Why haven't I ever noticed them? The chocolate orbs looked deep to me and I could almost quake from just his mere look.

He was close, too close. The proximity created an avalanche of emotions that came crashing about like scattered bricks to my heart weighing down on my right sense of reasoning. My head seemed to be raising warning alarms, but the heart seem to enjoy the little change.

"You make me uncomfortable" I whispered, but the words could barely sound a warning when warmth covered my lips.

Chapter 9

Part two

Guilt's the thought that bites from within.
Eating away to one's terror
Residing it the deepest of depths
Way down, in the abyss of lonesome darkness,
The abode of self-loathe, anger, depression,
and all things hidden from within the surface,
It chides away the thought of laugher
And masks the feeling of.....


I paused, the thoughts overwhelming and consuming. My hand shook as the pen dropped from of my hand and unto the bed.
My thoughts which was always a charade of misfortunate ensembles, seemed clogged and not hearable anymore.

I looked upon the words I scribbled on and it looked like a page torn from off my head. It felt right but looked wrong. And masks the feeling of... I could no longer continue from there on. My mind seemed to have gone on a wistful break, and my thoughts an unsolvable maze.

My phone chimed from my bedside, alerting an incoming message.

"I'm sorry Anita, please don't ignore me". The words read. The guilt bit from within and I could feel the metallic taste of my fluid in mouth, from my teeth biting down on my lower inner lip, but I couldn't stop myself.
I could feel the tears holding at bay, waiting for a cue to free fall. Breath..... I hear myself whisper.
And so, in and out, I did so gently, the thoughts swirled about my head like a myriad, poking at the guilt that exists as a terror.
I did wrong, it shouldn't have happened. For once my head and heart seemed in agreement, and my lip felt the hate been thrown at it. If only

I'm sorry, I whispered to the thin air

**

"Hi" I greeted gingerly, head held high, but heart shrinking to the size of my lacking courage. A sudden cold breeze blew, making shivers gently sway away to my already shook being, but I refuse to show my plight.

"Hello Love" he drew closer, a hand clasping to my lower back, pulling me closer to him.
He made to kiss a greeting, but I was too quick to lay a deflecting one to his cheeks, and pulled away with a frayed smile.

If he was disappointed, he surely didn't show it, instead he walked in, positioned himself on my favorite couch. He claimed it for himself once upon a time, and I didn't question it then, nor am I about to now. I just embraced his choice with gladness and acceptance.
Thinking back, I never did voice my opinions like I should, I just assumed what he thinks is better. Some would say I'm in denial, but I refuse to loose him twice.

"Are you okay?" He asked, looking up to my face, for an answer of assurance I presume. I'm not sure I can give it though, instead I nodded an answer with a forced smile, masking a semblance of happiness upon seeing him. I could hear the conflict rising from within, but I shoved it down, alongside the lingering feeling of betrayal that seemed to be meddling.

"Did you talk to him?" He asked pulling me down to sit on his lap, nuzzling my neck, leaving tentative wet kisses with every touch.

"Him?" My mind tried to place a face to the said "him" trying to calm my head enough to enjoy the warmth he was getting out.

"Yes, him. Your boss" he answered, looking to me, but I could barely meet his enquiring eyes.

Him, have I spoken to him? Normally this would not be a question that would arouse fright? But I could hear my heart beat its frightful rhythm, every thump a reminder of that which happened.

"No, not yet" I answered instead, but regretted it immediately, because the face that came in joyful suddenly turned sour. I feel I could probably let pass a thousand nagging feeling of regret than seeing his face of hurt, so when the last words left my mouth, my head laughed at the thought of my insanity.

"I'll talk to him" I promised.

He left, and once again I'm left with my thoughts. Having to stand I'm front of my boss seem like a well enough dreaded scene, but having to speak to him threatened a scare.

**

"Can't sleep?" A voice, spoke from behind, but a ghost could try to spook away to dead-threatening and I still wouldn't budge, instead I looked up to him wearily. I could feel my eyes sting, my hands trembling from the thin linen of nightwear I wrapped around my frame, but I kept telling myself, it's the cold of the night.
When I left my house, the time read 10:05pm. I'm not sure for how long I have been here, nor the time it reads. I wouldn't be surprised if I had stayed past midnight, because it does seem so.

"Anita?" He called out gently, laying himself down to sit a little distance away from me, but close enough to catch my quivering lips, if he leaned just a little bit closer.
I heard his call, but could not will my lips to part, and say the words eating away from within.

I kissed someone else, finally I hear, but wished it was in my head.

Chapter 10

Part one

The night breeze felt chilly, the leaves from nearby tree swayed from side to side, dancing to the tune of wind. A single leaf dropped from its parent embrace to the ground, alienating himself from his pears, idling away to nothingness.
It felt oddly familiar, the lonesome feeling, tiredness, emptiness, void of laughter.
A chill ran through, and I felt the chill from within. It's been quiet for a while and I could barely remember the last spoken words. It could be mine, it could be his, I couldn't tell. He was still seated besides me, though lost in thoughts I supposed. The night sky could do that to you.

I dare a glance towards his seated position, and the light from the big proud moon shone his calm reflection. How long has he been sitting here for I wondered, how long have I? It seems a while ago, and for some reasons, what troubles me I can't remember anymore. The calmness felt welcoming, a far contrast to my dismal inner turmoil.

The air felt cooler, goosebumps adorned my arms, and an involuntary twitch shook my being. I heaved and decided my exit, though he still remained calm. It made me wonder, am I projecting, or does he seem troubled too. He doesn't seem to show it, and I can't for the life of me pry, instead I stood to find my way back to my flat from whence I came.

"Thank you for the company", I said coolly, and turned towards the direction of my home.

I'm sorry, I heard, but a whisper. I turned towards the direction of the words, but it seemed it never happened. I could ask, but it felt too personal, he could very well be soliloquizing, so I went about my way instead and left him to his devices.

**

Home still looked the way I left it, silence dwelled greatly in the vast room. His perfume still lingered about the still ambiance, bringing back the memories of why it felt stifling.
The emotions rested on my lower belly, threatening to show forth in extreme force, but I refuse to indulge it. I laid my head to rest putting aside all of the guilt, Tomorrow will be better, I whispered, but it didn't feel as believable. I believed it anyway for sake of my sanity.

**
I rose from my seated position in greeting, as he walked in, entourage and all.
"You don't have to come, Anita" he had said before he left for his meeting this morning.
It felt comforting I wouldn't be in the same room for hours with him, but my afterthought felt otherwise.
It put a damp to my already shaken being, and I couldn't help but wallow.

They moved past my desk and into his office, the door closing after the last person that entered.

"Welcome sir," I had bowed a greeting, a pleasant smile masked my frown, but he just returned a nod in acknowledgement. I'd be lying to myself if I didn't feel as useless in the position I currently inhabited, but there's nothing to be done about it.
I heard light laughter, and then the seriousness their tone carried as they conversed. I didn't feel as though I'd envy them, but it just felt lonely sitting here alone.

I tried so hard, but succeeded barely in finishing all I had to do for the day. It wasn't much, not even close to my slowest of days, but I still struggled to get it done.
I closed the last document, and heaved a strained sigh. The clock spelled boldly 5:05pm.
A slight chatter sounded out, followed by a cuss, and then silence.
I waited, hoping for my attention be needed, but I didn't hear a word.
After waiting a while, I glanced another look to the time, 5:30pm it read now.

His guests left a little while ago, and he's been in there ever since.
It was past my closing time, but he isn't moving to leave. I was already packed, but I couldn't leave either. I needed to talk to him, needed to see him, but it felt like an idea that wasn't the best. Throwing all of it behind, I gingerly walked towards the door, rasping a gentle series of knock to the door to call for his attention, before walking it.
The room felt chilly, but I hoped it was just the cool breeze for the Air conditioning system placed far above the ceiling, and not from the blank stare I got when I entered.

There was silence for the first ten seconds before I gained my speech back.
"I want to apply for a leave sir" I spoke, gaining a blink from him.
I could tell he was caught unawares, but didn't dwell on it.
"Okay" he replied instead and went back to his files. I stood unable to comprehend how quickly this is seeming to be.
The application process just got easier for me, but it didn't feel right.
"This wasn't how it was supposed to go", I chided. God knows I didn't know where I was going with my outburst, but it needed be said.
He looked up from his table, eyes hooded in an impending rage, but he seem to be handling quite well, I wasn't. He doesn't get to feel alright while I fight an inner loosing battle.

"You kiss me" and then pretend it never happened. I almost half yelled.
He remained still, calm even, too calm.
"You do not get to feel normal while I feel like I'm loosing my mind, no you don't!".

"What would you have me do? you wouldn't talk to me".

"What does that even mean? you are my boss, bosses don't kiss assistants just because they want to" I yelled, but it didn't change anything, he still remained unwavering, and I just looked lost and stupid, for yelling.

"I'm sorry" he whispered, "for kissing you. I shouldn't have done that without your consent. It wouldn't happen again". he replied finally, countenance a fair semblance of sincerity.

"I promise".

I finally got what I wanted, But the last assurance, not so much.