I got mine own just be independent and won’t spoon feed a lazy asssss

Macadamemmy:
We rise by lifting others... Dats what I know

Heavy weight champion Do not lift what's heavier than your weight, if u do that u might tear your trouser or underwear and u might even fall or shit while doing so.
The maxim should be- Lift the persons you can lift and you will be able to rise.
Namaste

Drizzy5001:
Paternal uncles are too wicked Sha, very heartless set of people

Funny . So ur mother's brother is very kind to you people and wicked to his own brother. Chai. This life no balance for men. Men abeg help una self

Kaysnow:
Let me share this here..
I have an elder sister, she got a car but she can’t drive very well..
And I can drive, I started to drive her without asking her to pay me I take her to her work and I hang around until 4pm then I bring her back home..
I just finished my schooling I’m waiting for service. One day I spoke to her about using the car for bolt so she can have another source of income..
She said she has been looking for someone, I told her I can do it since I’m waiting to be deployed by nov or Jan..
To cut the story short, she gave the car to someone else, this is my sister I have been driving without pay for the Past 3years..

Most family have lost its unique relationship. Don’t expect anything from anyone.

This one can happen to anybody. That's not wickedness, she mean business

leofab:
it’s only the black man that want to be more English than the English.. continue

I swear. Tell him, your not just kidding his institution, u are kidding both his faculty and every of his department in his brain

lawrenzooo:
That's because women tend to be kind hearted towards their relatives. That's explains why in some homes you find most of the relatives living with the couple's coming from the woman's side, years later some of these relatives remember the favor

I don't agree totally on dis. Woman wahala makes men not to bring his siblings to his house. Unless de man marry woman way be last born. Like my rich elder brother. N only we de come him house. De woman no get anybody

ignis:
The major reason is wickedness. Please let's not justify wickedness and evil. There is no reason for a successful family member not to help a struggling family member.

Someone will come tomorrow and give reasons why the devil is evil.

Who is wicked? The person trying to mind his business or the one who has issues with u for no reason and yet wants ur help just to use it against u?

Who is the custodian of the wickedness please?? Better don’t be ignorant.

Sometimes some family members are called the black sheep of the family . No matter the amount of help you give, they will waste it cos they believe another one will come . I met a guy recently ...he was telling the sister on phone that he got to pay for UK visa ...he is tired of Nigeria ...he begged for 200k for the process...the sister sent him the money immediately without looking back. After a week...he was asking for another 100k from same sister ...according to him he want to use it to get the marriage certificate ...He has demanded for another money and the sister refused ....he started calling her names .......Today i was mad with him cos he didn't invest the money in what he claimed to use it for ...but he spent it on drink with friends ...living a fake life doesn't help

harjay1986:


read my comment once again ..... because someone actually assist him to leave for france .... I do not approach him on the basis for him to finance me ... am a distance relative what about immediate one to him ..... everything comes down to saying that only people that God want to use to change something in your life, that will yield ... I don dey for street since my 11 years so no be today to make money ....

he only want people he will be oppression and dictate to and am not in dat class so I move

well I pray you go to france, you would be in his shoes. You would work so hard in France, make your money. If your distant cousin call you for money you would block his phone. Is very easy to say we will lift each other but when you are at the top, you would want to still be at the top. On his way to the top, what role did you play? Or if he takes you to France of what benefit will it be for him? Do you know he owes you nothing. He has every right to choose who he helps?

jimmychang:



Rest not everybody is as wicked as you are.

Know the truth, and the truth shall set you free.

Have you ever wonder how your leaders would traveled all over the developed countries, took your money there to invest or buy needless over paid properties, have access to world class health facilities, send their children to school there but refuse to provide such for their people.

This problem started from basic unit of the society( family), from which the leaders emanated.

mayorkun101:


Sha no post your picture . cause if do i go screenshot and if i jam you for future i no go help you no matter how small or big the situation is and if you ask me why i no help i go state all these your "reasons" and add another one join which is WE NO BE FAMILY .

bros calm down

jesmond3945:
well I pray you go to france, you would be in his shoes. You would work so hard in France, make your money. If your distant cousin call you for money you would block his phone. Is very easy to say we will lift each other but when you are at the top, you would want to still be at the top. On his way to the top, what role did you play? Or if he takes you to France of what benefit will it be for him? Do you know he owes you nothing. He has every right to choose who he helps?

This is exactly what we are saying. Must we benefited from helping one another? Must we always be self centred? Must everything revolves around us? Must we always dominates or want people to worship us.

This mentality will keep making Nigeria and other underdeveloped Africa countries remain backwards for centuries to come. We are just too selfish and ignorant to create an egalitarian society.

Stupid talk, his son is a crack head one.. Would u wanna leave Your fortune to a crack head?? Help without thoughts of receiving. Yea nobody owe's you nothing but that's not an excuse to turn a blind eye when u know u are in the position to help. No one is saying it should be at your detriment but when u have help. Whites dey help, don't bring black man mentality into this, half the time u don't even need to be fam for them to be willing when they got it. Africa una no one show love but expect person to rise from thing air. A wealthy man is one who lifts those around him. No one made it anywhere by themselves and it frankly makes no sense being a rich man but your brothers still dey struggle to find their ground. If you get to do... Do so that e go choke... Occasion sup una clear road like obi. ✌️ Peace out

punisha:
This topic deserves to be taught in schools.

The family member u r looking up to for help could be needing major help as well...no one owes you anything. The entitlement mentality needs to be wiped away especially in Africa.
That I have a car and own a house don't mean I ain't owing bank loans. You may need just 50k and I can't help don't mean I am wicked. If I am to give, it should come from a place of love not cos I am a tool that generates money for everyone.
Many of the entitled ones will still violate privileges believing that they can come back again n again for help.

Stop expecting family members to come through always. Be considerate.
Jackie Chan is not leaving his money behind for his son....he asked his son to work hard and make his own money. Try it in Africa.

heniford2:
Low mentality in Africa is the problem,i Remember back then when i lost my dad i went to ask loan from my Aunty who my dad helped, i remember her coming to visit my old man than my late old man will empty everything we have in house i stop my primary 6 then just because p man wan help her beloved sister then he died what my aunty opened her stinking mouth to say to me after my dads burial"hey come here, see if you think my money or any of us will give u guys any penny your dreaming right i owe u guys nothing likewise my brother and sisters so if u like go and hustle" it shocked me because we just buried his brother that day i saw her crying why this vaxation i thought she was joking till i went to ask for money to pay my school fees i saw the shock of my life Never hope on anyone Not ever your own blood brother make plans for yourself and your children, right know she's asking me to help his son to come over to germany guess what i will Bleep them up in a very big way will allow the boy to come over then set him up they will lock him up or deport him for illegal stay and position of drugs

You don't need that bro.... Just do your best and let God be the judge

yemmit90:


This is exactly what we are saying. Must we benefited from helping one another? Must we always be self centred? Must everything revolves around us? Must we always dominates or want people to worship us.

This mentality will keep making Nigeria and other underdeveloped Africa countries remain backwards for centuries to come. We are just too selfish and ignorant to create an egalitarian society.

of course we are all selfish one way or the other. Trying to reach the top you have to be self centered. This is because you came to this world alone, when you leave life goes on. YOLO. The only family member I support to help is your parents. Anything you do for your siblings, you do for your parents.
This mentality is what made Europe what it is today. Look at the igbos, every body is competing and in the process, development comes. When you depend on one person, you weigh the person down and stunt his growth.

Kaysnow:
Let me share this here..
I have an elder sister, she got a car but she can’t drive very well..
And I can drive, I started to drive her without asking her to pay me I take her to her work and I hang around until 4pm then I bring her back home..
I just finished my schooling I’m waiting for service. One day I spoke to her about using the car for bolt so she can have another source of income..
She said she has been looking for someone, I told her I can do it since I’m waiting to be deployed by nov or Jan..
To cut the story short, she gave the car to someone else, this is my sister I have been driving without pay for the Past 3years..

Most family have lost its unique relationship. Don’t expect anything from anyone.

she know that if you made a mistake she would not have the heart to reprimand you. She is separating family from business.

heniford2:
right know she's asking me to help his son to come over to germany guess what i will Bleep them up in a very big way will allow the boy to come over then set him up they will lock him up or deport him for illegal stay and position of drugs

Bros, pls dont go that far. I beg you with God.

This article is bloody waste of time. Probably written by an entitled person. First, no one owes anyone anything. Aside from one’s parents, there’s no obligation to help any other family member. Any help given to anyone, family or not, should be received with thanks and not with entitlement which has become a norm in many families and friendship circles. Black tax is the bane of many ‘successful’ people and have caused serious problems for them. Many family members have turned their successful brother/ sister into cash cows, while they refuse to work or trade claiming that there are no jobs or the ones they’ve found are beneath them. Some family members have gone on to marry and produce 4 to 5 children each, for the one successful family member to cater for. If the successful family member complains about the load , they blame his wife and even go as far a threatening his life. However we know this is not sustainable as what you people are calling help, is stifling the successful persons growth. I know people that have been receiving help for over 20 years still they have not progressed at all. No, there comes a time when the helper says he/she has had enough and needs to focus on his / her own children. Then the story will turn to that family member although very successful, never helped anyone. Abeg, Nigerian people help yourselves. Yes things are hard, but people are still making it in Nigeria. Parents teach your children not to be entitled and that no one owes them nothing. That way, they’ll always think of independence and appreciate everything you or anyone does for them. This entitlement is the root of all family problems in Nigeria. Ask yourself, you grew up in the same family with your successful brother/ sister, why are not successful too? Perhaps you misused your own opportunities or didn’t have your priorities right. Get off your lazy backside and look for something to do. As long as you have breathe in you, it’s not too late for you.

jesmond3945:
of course we are all selfish one way or the other. Trying to reach the top you have to be self centered. This is because you came to this world alone, when you leave life goes on. YOLO. The only family member I support to help is your parents. Anything you do for your siblings, you do for your parents.
This mentality is what made Europe what it is today. Look at the igbos, every body is competing and in the process, development comes. When you depend on one person, you weigh the person down and stunt his growth.

Off course, to reach the top in Africa especially Nigeria, you need to be selfish. This is number 1 problem of our society. You naturally become leader and most respectful individual when you grow along with others.

And dont ever mention Europe at all. Do you even know what it means to be egalitarian society like western countries? Do you know why heavy tax are usually levy against the rich? Do you even know the meaning of social security in western countries?

The different between the west and African nations is simple, the former only think of how to improve his/her society by creating ideas that everyone will benefit irrespective of their social background, while the later only think about him/herself all alone.

Let me give you a very close example, there is this white guy working in the same office with my brother over there, the has no child but dedicates 30% from his every pay check to charity. Tell me how many people in Nigeria can do this for his/her relative, let alone one charity organisation?

elonmuskbaby:
you're lucky you have reasonable brothers.not the one waiting and loafing around for you to send money to him because he has "elder brothers in the abroad"

the thing is, the one doing well should assist another to rise, then both will lift a third person and it will go around.

/
Assistance and entitlement are two different things.

/

yemi1504:


I hope you are planning to take them abroad because those family members you refused to help could be the ones to help your kids tomorrow. Remember no condition is permanent! That is what my experiences in life has taught me! I hope you don't learn the bitter way! We want to behave like the whites when we don't have the opportunities they have there! Ire o!

I am not saying you should meet their every demand, why not teach them how to fish instead of giving them fish? They will forever be indebted to you if you do! Just a suggestion o.

Thanks for your comments. Honestly, there is no guarantee they will help my children. I am positively sure they won't remember my children. I don't think they are interested in me as a person. They only call me when they need money and never ask for my children or my situations. Its all about their needs. Its non-ending.

For the records I sent three of my siblings to the university while working in Nigeria. I started working at 13.

I have helped for more than 15 years and I have come to the realization that the worst decision you can make is trying to help individuals who are not ready to help themselves.

Sure, if they make efforts, I can help move to Canada but they want me to do all the legwork, research, application, pay flight tickets, take care of them and their families. It is simply mind boggling.

I have good insurance to take care of my kids and properties.

vickydevoka:


Funny . So ur mother's brother is very kind to you people and wicked to his own brother. Chai. This life no balance for men. Men abeg help una self

Oga, why are you trying to derail from what I posted, did I mention my mother's brother not helping his own brother?

jesmond3945:
well I pray you go to france, you would be in his shoes. You would work so hard in France, make your money. If your distant cousin call you for money you would block his phone. Is very easy to say we will lift each other but when you are at the top, you would want to still be at the top. On his way to the top, what role did you play? Or if he takes you to France of what benefit will it be for him? Do you know he owes you nothing. He has every right to choose who he helps?

bros if I may ask how old are you ? because you reply is like someone who stilll stay under his parent .... in life no matter how wealthy you are someone will surely render help for you directly or indirectly that does not mean they have benefitted from you in the past .... nobody is laying entitlement mentality here

okay imagine I came to you knowing well that you are a well to do an uncle (so what help would you want from me because is the little one that suppose to look for elder) for an assistance that will only require your influence or direction and you turn me down I never for once ask for any financial assistance from you because i know fully well that you too have some financial obligation you need to attend to ...... bro reasone am

as per goin to france one day that has been deleted from my diary mainly business wise

Lordhades21:
Stupid talk, his son is a crack head one.. Would u wanna leave Your fortune to a crack head?? Help without thoughts of receiving. Yea nobody owe's you nothing but that's not an excuse to turn a blind eye when u know u are in the position to help. No one is saying it should be at your detriment but when u have help. Whites dey help, don't bring black man mentality into this, half the time u don't even need to be fam for them to be willing when they got it. Africa una no one show love but expect person to rise from thing air. A wealthy man is one who lifts those around him. No one made it anywhere by themselves and it frankly makes no sense being a rich man but your brothers still dey struggle to find their ground. If you get to do... Do so that e go choke... Occasion sup una clear road like obi. ✌️ Peace out

Good luck to you and your useless crack head son o. Peace out ✌�

twind111:
This issue is of different categorie
1 AJUNMOBI O KAN TAANU.. It's a Yoruba proverb , for someone to be your close relative doesn't guarantee that he or she will help you, some prefer to face their immediate family I mean kids and wife only.

2 PAST FAMILY HISTORY.. many rich family member didn't get help too when they are struggling. So you expect them to be of help too when they eventually arrive.

3 FAMILY ISSUE.. Take for instant you get a loan for a family member and he or she refuse to pay even when they can. If you persuade them too much they will say are we not family member.

4 MOST WICKED ENEMY SOMETIMES COME FROM THE FAMILY.. I mean spiritually. As a Nigerian you should understand this better.E.G. how can only you build 3 houses when we have none WAHALA. At your age I was still in form 4 and you say you need money for school fee in a university abeg wait till next year.e.t.c

5 ONE RICH MAN IN A POOR FAMILY.. when you have only just one rich man or just a few of them in a family what do you expect. how many do you think they can help .. when the pressure is too much they will distance themselves from family..

NOTE: it's only those sent by God that can help.. And if you receive help from a family member please don't misuse the opportunity it may hinder help of another family member.. If you didn't receive help from any family member now please don't have the wicked mindset that you too will not help .

The best way to conquer disappointment is just stay unexpecting. As in, don't expect anything from anybody. By do doing, you can never get disappointed.

onlyhope:
Why did she give her car to someone else? Ask her. She's your elder sister. Using the car as a taxicab is directly or indirectly your idea.

My mom did ask her, she said she doesn’t want it to turn out to be my car..
And my only intention is to use it and keep busy until I go for mobilization.

jesmond3945:
she know that if you made a mistake she would not have the heart to reprimand you. She is separating family from business.

I don’t think so cos I was like just give me a try, one week maximum, I don’t deliver u take it.
She started remembering how I insulted her 15years ago, I can’t even remember cos 15yrs ago I was 9yrs.

heniford2:
Low mentality in Africa is the problem,i Remember back then when i lost my dad i went to ask loan from my Aunty who my dad helped, i remember her coming to visit my old man than my late old man will empty everything we have in house i stop my primary 6 then just because p man wan help her beloved sister then he died what my aunty opened her stinking mouth to say to me after my dads burial"hey come here, see if you think my money or any of us will give u guys any penny your dreaming right i owe u guys nothing likewise my brother and sisters so if u like go and hustle" it shocked me because we just buried his brother that day i saw her crying why this vaxation i thought she was joking till i went to ask for money to pay my school fees i saw the shock of my life Never hope on anyone Not ever your own blood brother make plans for yourself and your children, right know she's asking me to help his son to come over to germany guess what i will Bleep them up in a very big way will allow the boy to come over then set him up they will lock him up or deport him for illegal stay and position of drugs

Please just move on and don't do that !

Gabkosh:
No reason you shouldn't help your family.

By helping your family members? You are also helping yourself and the future of your children while reducing stress of poverty from your neck.

So cos I am struggling now, doesn't give me reason no to help my family.

I hate seeing my family suffering.

Except you have a topnotch family of erudite but if your dad happened to be first to breakthrough from village...... Trust me, Day never brake for your side because you never experience

bilulu:

the thing is, the one doing well should assist another to rise, then both will lift a third person and it will go around.

I agree with you.not the one not willing to work but waiting for free food to drop on his laps because he has brothers abroad

Kaysnow:


I don’t think so cos I was like just give me a try, one week maximum, I don’t deliver u take it.
She started remembering how I insulted her 15years ago, I can’t even remember cos 15yrs ago I was 9yrs.

hmmm. I think she doesn't trust you thats why.