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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My Wife Behaviour Towards My Family Members/Siblings Is Driving Me Crazy (38475 Views)
My Wife's Sudden Change After Childbirth is driving me nuts! / Advice Needed, My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy / I'm Not Happy With My Mom's Behaviour Towards My Adopted Sister (2) (3) (4)
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Re: My Wife Behaviour Towards My Family Members/Siblings Is Driving Me Crazy by okoroemeka(m): 5:18pm On Dec 19, 2021 |
Hintona:from what the op posted it is plausible,he is a gentleman and trying so hard to be a very good husband,he provides his wife with everything,don't cheat,smoke,drink or general misbehaviour and yet that woman has driven a wedge between him and his relatives,there is a critical time in a mans life that he has to stand firm speak out his mind in a firm voice and stand by his decision,your in-law is in your house,it is time to call her and your wife and tell them your mind be firm but fair,I love my wife and I don't pretend to be a good husband,I drink,smoke,cheat and also general misbehaviour,only God will help you if you think it is possible to chase my brother , sister or mother away from my house 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Wife Behaviour Towards My Family Members/Siblings Is Driving Me Crazy by Nobody: 5:18pm On Dec 19, 2021 |
lomprico: That's why I like Urhobo men we don't take rubbish. The truth is when you are too calm, don't keep late night, don't smoke or drink and don't womanise. Women we take you for granted, because they can easily predict you. Obobs you got have some element of bad boy in you that's where you earn your respect. No Caps 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Wife Behaviour Towards My Family Members/Siblings Is Driving Me Crazy by BigBashiru: 5:18pm On Dec 19, 2021 |
Piptocoin: It's the fools that believe in "no sex outside marriage" and other religious bullshit that can be manipulated with sex.... 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: My Wife Behaviour Towards My Family Members/Siblings Is Driving Me Crazy by Ogunleti01: 5:19pm On Dec 19, 2021 |
All i see is a man who is not man enough. Remember when the going gets tough your relatives will never abandon you your wife can! 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: My Wife Behaviour Towards My Family Members/Siblings Is Driving Me Crazy by JONNYSPUTE(m): 5:19pm On Dec 19, 2021 |
.....Just imagine how weak some men can be. SMH for Una. Very shameful. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: My Wife Behaviour Towards My Family Members/Siblings Is Driving Me Crazy by GloShare(m): 5:19pm On Dec 19, 2021 |
Send her away. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: My Wife Behaviour Towards My Family Members/Siblings Is Driving Me Crazy by BigBashiru: 5:19pm On Dec 19, 2021 |
BiggyB242: The reason they do that dictation is for their own selfish needs! 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: My Wife Behaviour Towards My Family Members/Siblings Is Driving Me Crazy by deltateam: 5:20pm On Dec 19, 2021 |
ikennamadu1: So after begging, you think everything will change? She will just wait for chance to kpeme you. Besides her mum will side her. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Wife Behaviour Towards My Family Members/Siblings Is Driving Me Crazy by whiteroses(f): 5:20pm On Dec 19, 2021 |
Do you give resources away to your siblings ? Or did they initially had a habit of assaulting or despising her and you turned a blind eye ? There will be a reason why she loathes your family. She’s not a house help that you can use her matter to play games. If she sensed that, she will fight back. From your write up I can see that your family over steps their boundaries. They don’t need to be coming to your house often and act like they want to take over. If they are around your wife is the boss of all of them and cannot be relegated to the background. She’s your other half. She’s more important to you than your family. Two should become one and you ca no longer cleave to your sister. Nonsense… Your wife is fighting for boundaries if you ask me. If your family has your balls in their pockets please free that babe. 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Behaviour Towards My Family Members/Siblings Is Driving Me Crazy by elooma: 5:21pm On Dec 19, 2021 |
Good evening. I am moved by your story and I knew you wrote in desperation and a cry for help. From indication, you're an easterner but pardon me if I am wrong. It's sad because 1)Your work didn't allow you to know your wife in totality when I mean, being able to accommodate, tolerate and build. 2)its obvious owing to your absence a lot happened and wasn't nipped in the bud in time. 3)Its unfair your wife welcomes her own and yours is not good enough to stay. 4)you gave room for this problem by allowing your brother's son go though I quite understand your time constraints. 5)I know you allowed so many things to happen just for peace to reign. Good 6)My advice is from today, take a stand as the man in the house, the head of the family and be of few words but words that speaks. "you won't run from your house. But LET her know that you her fighting your family and portraying she gets sick seeing them is something no one that does it wins. Also she's getting it wrong because if it's her own 'bu nke Di mma', emesia she'll regret. |
Re: My Wife Behaviour Towards My Family Members/Siblings Is Driving Me Crazy by deltateam: 5:22pm On Dec 19, 2021 |
BABANGBALI: Shift go front. Shift dey go. You go jam transformer, hug am. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: My Wife Behaviour Towards My Family Members/Siblings Is Driving Me Crazy by Nebes: 5:22pm On Dec 19, 2021 |
In all you wrote I did not see any God factor. Life is spiritual. Regardless of what you do, that domineering evil spirit will never allow you peace and joy. Why not run to Jesus? He is the father of all spirits. He will build and strengthen your spirit while subduing and dealing with the spirit operating in your wife. My brother please turn on the light in you through Christ and watch darkness fade away. 2 Likes |
Re: My Wife Behaviour Towards My Family Members/Siblings Is Driving Me Crazy by Nobody: 5:22pm On Dec 19, 2021 |
Richpet85: Op. Did you discuss whether your relatives would be living with you after you guys get married while you were in the before marriage phase.? Because me thinks that when both of you were doing boyfriend and girlfriend you were too busy doing sweetie pie and sugar in my tea to discuss how you would conduct your married life. Op before you got married, you should have discussed the status of your relatives in the relationship. Because if she had told you then that she doesn't want your relations in your house as well as hers, you guys would have long since parted before you got married, and you would have looked for a girl who won't have minded having your relations in the house. Op, go and have the discussion that you should have had 8 years ago with your wife. If your wife is still saying no, then involve the pastor of your church or elders of your church or elders from both sides of your family. Both of you need to sort out the issues now. Don't bring it here. 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Behaviour Towards My Family Members/Siblings Is Driving Me Crazy by Nobody: 5:22pm On Dec 19, 2021 |
BigBashiru: Of course, that's why you should have some element of bad boy in you. Don't be too predictable. |
Re: My Wife Behaviour Towards My Family Members/Siblings Is Driving Me Crazy by house10s: 5:23pm On Dec 19, 2021 |
Richpet85:wait 8 more yrs. since u not man enough to tell her to go fuk her selve. be using kids to kill ur self one day ur eyes will open by then ur hands around her neck wud have sent her to d next life cause u cant control ur home. she brings her family but u can't bring urs, feels like nolly wood tv. smh. tell ur family members to come visit u if she doesn't like it tell her to go to her family house n stay there. u dont drink dont keep out u dont sleep around and so? dont b weak 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: My Wife Behaviour Towards My Family Members/Siblings Is Driving Me Crazy by LordIsaac(m): 5:23pm On Dec 19, 2021 |
The truth is you have a certain weakness for women, your wife, I mean. And, if you leave this one, trust me the next one you'll meet will be exactly like her if not worse. You seem to attract such. Now, the fault is not hers but yours. You ought to have taken control of things ab initio. Women get spoiled by love and weakness. It is not too late sha....you can wake up now and set things right....it may lead to her packing out ....but she will return. It is not about running away from the problem but facing it even if it requires banning all, I mean all her family members from entering your house Make it clear, by action, not words, that what is food for the goose is food for the gander. Life is too short to be thinking of fleeing from your own home....grow balls! 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: My Wife Behaviour Towards My Family Members/Siblings Is Driving Me Crazy by BABANGBALI: 5:23pm On Dec 19, 2021 |
deltateam:what’s this one saying? What has his down below got to do with the problem. You think sey na everybody get problem with their down below like you? To give person advice no be by force o |
Re: My Wife Behaviour Towards My Family Members/Siblings Is Driving Me Crazy by elooma: 5:23pm On Dec 19, 2021 |
We can talk more. Keep faith, no mountain is Insurmountable |
Re: My Wife Behaviour Towards My Family Members/Siblings Is Driving Me Crazy by Wealthinwealth1: 5:24pm On Dec 19, 2021 |
You need to man up, you dont tolerate what you hate as man from a woman. Why would your wife not want to see your siblings? Without them she wouldn't have seen you to marry. Common be a man and stop creating importance to things that can be sorted in a fingers snap. I am very gentle but the day my wife used "Iya e " during argument for me, she saw the ruthlessness in me. The shock she had from the reaction wont make her dare look my mum in the face not to talk of open her mouth or show any form of unruly attitude. As much as I wont even tolerate my mum to talk to my wife anyhow, I WILL NEVER ACCEPT ANY FORM OF INSULTS FROM MY WIFE TO MY PARENT 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: My Wife Behaviour Towards My Family Members/Siblings Is Driving Me Crazy by Donaldomo(m): 5:24pm On Dec 19, 2021 |
You are acting like a woman; no African man behaves this way. That woman must be possessed. Imagine, drive my friend or my sister!? Blood is thicker than water. There's ex-wife, but there's no ex-sister or brother. The people that were responsible for my future, then one woman from nowhere just come dey run us apart; that cannot can't! Man, you alone can deal with situation right now. Set limits b4 her, sit her down and make her understand that a few things. Your people are important to you. They were the ones God used to make you who you are b4 she came on board, and they are still very important to you. Let her know that in Africa, when you marry a man or woman, you marry his/her people also. The thought of bringing a third party in may come up if she doesn't change. A third party for a one-on-one counseling like a Pastor or any other individuals that she respects. I wish you the best, Mr Man! 2 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: My Wife Behaviour Towards My Family Members/Siblings Is Driving Me Crazy by Nobody: 5:25pm On Dec 19, 2021 |
backbencher: Why would she allow her relative to stay comfortable and make it unbearable for others? If she doesn't like relatives around, hers should stay away as well. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: My Wife Behaviour Towards My Family Members/Siblings Is Driving Me Crazy by Ivory6(f): 5:25pm On Dec 19, 2021 |
This story seems so similar that that which is happening now in my house, my brother 's wife did thesame thing,no signs what so ever when they were both in courtship, she was always coming to our house,very fun lady...,and I remembered telling my brother that he was so lucky,but we were surprised when she just changed after the wedding, no-one seems to know what happened, but she just changed, when you visit my brothers house,her face will be like someone that swallowed frog, To the extent, no one visits my brother anymore because the only thing the world we know is "husband people did this",so everyone just avoid them, I feel more for my parents,most especially my mum,because there are some nights,I will see her crying,and praying that God should bring back her baby's love,there was a day my younger brother told me that my mum even went to plead with this girl,they said she knelt down begging her to forgive her if she had done anything without knowing, I was so angry when I heard it,my mum still plead with us to love our brother still,if I begin to narrate myn I think, it's worst than yours,I have given up on my brother, as far as am concerned, he does not exit in my life because it's really painful, if only we even know what we did,nothing....just woke up one day ....... so I understand how you feel 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Wife Behaviour Towards My Family Members/Siblings Is Driving Me Crazy by Asagaguy: 5:25pm On Dec 19, 2021 |
She is understood you are weak from the first night that she messed up and you didn't take any action.right now only drastic action will change her.start from being a good husband to a bad one.conciously keep late night, once in a while bring wrapped Indian hem home andexose it to her sight.make her think your era Richpet85: |
Re: My Wife Behaviour Towards My Family Members/Siblings Is Driving Me Crazy by Nobody: 5:26pm On Dec 19, 2021 |
What kind of SIMP is this? Even in your own marriage and house you're still simping around Oga u need to be a man and take charge of your home. Your wife/family and everything else should be under your control and not the other way round 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: My Wife Behaviour Towards My Family Members/Siblings Is Driving Me Crazy by Oyiboman69: 5:26pm On Dec 19, 2021 |
Richpet85:you cannot divorce cos of your children?...I suggest you keep wallowing in self pity and expect things to change magically without doing anything until you get consumed in the process, then I guess you would have taught of a way out when it will be already too late if you're still lucky to be alive... my only suggestion for you is to make the home less comfortable for everyone including her family members,from keeping late night with whomever you choose to,show her families some negative attitudes,hangout with women and also look for a way to cut her to size financially cos most women do misbehave when they are in possession of money. you can do that by leaving her with some financial home responsibilities so as to give her something to worry about, besides, the worst it can get,is divorce which you're practically afraid of which is far more better than you loosing your dear life. you allow your wife come in between you and your family and you quite know that both your parents are all gone leaving you guys behind...who says marriage is a do or die affair should also consider that bill gate is no longer married to Melinda.... you asked for a matured advice and in my own matured way,this is the only one I have to offer you...but the decision is yours to make.... 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: My Wife Behaviour Towards My Family Members/Siblings Is Driving Me Crazy by ArcSEMPECJ(m): 5:27pm On Dec 19, 2021 |
Is it really necessary to be a dummy for peace to rein? And I ask........what kind of peace is that? OP....marriage is not that time you wore suit and saw all your friends as best man and men on suit.... Marriage starts after the wedding night and a newly married couple always have imbalance for up to 4-6 months depending on what they have argued and allowed to exist....is a natural case not a kind of war ...... And am happy you recognized when your wife changed...... You too should have changed as well immediately, let there be war of balancing until a decision is reached but for you, you chose peace as a meek one which your wife , siblings and her Mum understood as weakness.... Don't be surprised that any day you try to shout to your wife, the younger brother may raise his hands to slap the hell out of you in your own house..... Atimes , men go wrong, but they keep to their wrongs because of these weakness women understand from men whenever we fall for their decision.... Man up OP...have a meeting with your wife, decide what happens in your home. 2 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: My Wife Behaviour Towards My Family Members/Siblings Is Driving Me Crazy by kingofthenorth: 5:27pm On Dec 19, 2021 |
Richpet85:the next thing remaining is for her to kill you.from the look of things there is no one to save you when danger comes because she has chased everyone close to you away. You have to act like a man, exercise your authority as a man, if it means causing a big problem that will make all family members to come and look into the issue do it else, your doom is near. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: My Wife Behaviour Towards My Family Members/Siblings Is Driving Me Crazy by whiteroses(f): 5:28pm On Dec 19, 2021 |
Do you give resources away to your siblings ? Or did they initially had a habit of assaulting or despising her and you turned a blind eye ? There will be a reason why she loathes your family. She’s not a house help that you can use her matter to play games. If she sensed that, she will fight back. From your write up I can see that your family over steps their boundaries. They don’t need to be coming to your house often and act like they want to take over. If they are around your wife is the boss of all of them and cannot be relegated to the background. She’s your other half. She’s more important to you than your family. Two should become one and you ca no longer cleave to your sister. Nonsense… Your wife is fighting for boundaries if you ask me. If your family has your balls in their pockets please free that babe. 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Behaviour Towards My Family Members/Siblings Is Driving Me Crazy by jaxxy(m): 5:28pm On Dec 19, 2021 |
Richpet85: Why are u behaving like a SIMP? Who are u letting ur wife control ur home to the extent of twisting things against ur innocent and loving siblings whilst she enjoys ur peaceful attitude towards her own siblings?? What if u decided to be troublesome to her siblings like she is to urs and send them all away how would she feel?? Well that’s problem what might be the solution to her terrible behavior. U are doing everything for her and simple peace of mind she can’t give u?? Then why do u continue to encourage and reward a bad behaved wife?? Let her know her behavior is unacceptable and u won’t tolerate it. Send her siblings away for no reason. Let all of them leave ur house until u and her settle the issues of in-laws coming to visit and stay peacefully. Nobody should come to ur house.. I’m sorry ur wife was pretending to like ur family. U know what she was doing bt u can teach her same lesson by also pretending to like her family and telling them to leave. Anything else is over pleasing an undeserving and manipulative wife. Do this and she will change to keep the peace. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Wife Behaviour Towards My Family Members/Siblings Is Driving Me Crazy by elbaraj2020(m): 5:28pm On Dec 19, 2021 |
Heterodox: |
Re: My Wife Behaviour Towards My Family Members/Siblings Is Driving Me Crazy by Piptocoin: 5:29pm On Dec 19, 2021 |
BigBashiru: well, I think he foolishly helped her cultivate her attitude to his siblings he is suffering now by letting her have her way early in the marriage. if he had nipped this in the bud he wouldn't be here. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: My Wife Behaviour Towards My Family Members/Siblings Is Driving Me Crazy by Nobody: 5:29pm On Dec 19, 2021 |
BiggyB242: Which is why I am saying all these issues should have been discussed during courtship. Not left to fester till marriage has happened. Op and his wife did not have any serious discussion when they were in the dating stage. Especially a discussion about relatives. If OP had asked his woman whether she would want his relatives to live with them after they got married, and she said no, they could have gone their separate ways then. Not after 8 years and three children ffs. 2 Likes 1 Share |
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