Dear All,

Although my wife has packed her belongings and left only a few old cloths of hers and my daughter which I stated in my previous post, I didn't force or compel her to stay back.

Prior to her leaving two counsellors/priest counselled us to both leave in peace and harmony yet she refused and left.

On the 1st of January, 2022 her parents invited me to there house for a dialogue on the way forward towards reunion, but she was still bent on going her way with flimsy excuses.

I took my leave and was told by her parents that they will get back at me.

Few days later I was asked to come back for a meeting with another senior man of God from her community and family church, this was the arrangement of her parents maybe to find a solution spiritually. At this juncture, do I honour the invitation or dishonour it?

Your good advise can be of help. Thanks

My Dad use to say never take back a woman that uses her hand to pack her things out of your house so long you did nothing wrong to her cos she has another motive before getting to such extent. Believe me if you never hurted her and she packed her stuffs and left and you're seating in meetings that outsider are begging her to come back, if she does that, the woman will never respect you again, if at all she ever loved you it is dead and gone so let her go

Good day to you Op,
Before any advice is given, I wanna ask you that what's your decision on her leaving your house in the he first place?

Ofcourse you should honour their invitation to show you really want peace ....even though it seem your wife have seen another dude

Babsojimjim:
Few days later I was asked to come back for a meeting with another senior man of God from her community and family church, this was the arrangement of her parents maybe to find a solution spiritually. At this juncture, do I honour the invitation or dishonour it?

Your good advise can be of help. Thanks

Na the gal abi her parents dey try force this thing at this point?

The ball is in your court to decide if you will attend or not. Though, I still think it is much better you both meet on neutral grounds , a professional marriage counselor, so you can both get a chance to spills your guts without worrying about friends or family hearing of it.

I realize you mentioned several times that she is hooked on pastors and the lot meaning if she does decide to come back to her life with you, she might still remain hooked to that lifestyle even more so now than ever before. Na WA ooo!

She's already gone.

Let her go....

Stop wasting your time and keep your remaining dignity by not going there again.

The last of your dignity has left you. Your wife is clearly sleeping with another man and you are all begging her to come back. She won’t unless the current fallacy fades. Even if she does, you will not be worth a paper in her eyes.

Honor the meeting, salvage whatever self esteem you have left. Let them do the talking, crown it up by informing them calmly and firmly that you came to inform them of your decision to terminate the union. And make sure you go with your own people too.

You have nothing to lose other than a time bomb. Focus on yourself, build your career, advance your finances, become better in every way possible, improve your social standing with your new liberty. Do not neglect your child, reach an amicable monthly stipend for her upkeep and keep records of those transactions, such women can be manipulative tomorrow. Pay her fees also.

Just do all the right thing about yourself, self love only. With time, you will attract the best you could ever have wished for. When this happens, you will realize how much of a fool you have been for sticking around with your ex.

Babsojimjim:

Your good advise can be of help. Thanks

Please understand that I am not here advising you to give up at all. You know your wife better than anyone else here. You know what it is that she may be holding against you still - we don't. So in the end, it is for you to decide if fighting for your marriage is worth it or not.

Why are you still holding on to a woman who is no longer interested in you. Let her go. Move on with your life. You have tried your best.

Babsojimjim:
Dear All,

Although my wife has packed her belongings and left only a few old cloths of hers and my daughter which I stated in my previous post, I didn't force or compel her to stay back.

Prior to her leaving two counsellors/priest counselled us to both leave in peace and harmony yet she refused and left.

On the 1st of January, 2022 her parents invited me to there house for a dialogue on the way forward towards reunion, but she was still bent on going her way with flimsy excuses.

I took my leave and was told by her parents that they will get back at me.

Few days later I was asked to come back for a meeting with another senior man of God from her community and family church, this was the arrangement of her parents maybe to find a solution spiritually. At this juncture, do I honour the invitation or dishonour it?

Your good advise can be of help. Thanks

What did you do to her in secret that made her reject you in the open?


From all your topics you have not stated one thing you did wrong. Out of up to 5 topics about your wife.


Are you that perfect?

Sorry sir but why are you still holding on to this illusion??
Even when it's glaring that she is gone and you are the one doing the begging and resolving??

You must have done something which you're not telling us.abeg forget all these your St Gabriel holiness.

Don't mind him....exonerating himself from any blames.people like this op are dangerous.

Saintmary:


What did you do to her in secret that made her reject you in the open?


From all your topics you have not stated one thing you did wrong. Out of up to 5 topics about your wife.


Are you that perfect?

Don't mind the St gabriel.i would really love to hear the ex wife's side of the story.

In your previous threads, you kept saying your friend was the victim, seems you have finally realized you are the person in the whole scenario. Why keep referring to your friend when you’re actually the one in the mess of separation?

Anyway, your wife says she isn’t interested in the marriage. I advice you to move on. In your previous posts, she threatened to commit suicide. Please move on with your life before you will be blamed for someone’s death

ahnie:
Don't mind him....exonerating himself from any blames.people like this op are dangerous.
Don't mind the St gabriel.i would really love to hear the ex wife's side of the story.

He was only shocked that she had the guts to walk away.


That's why he repeats the words 'she packed and left' obsessively throughout all his topics.

He's going through a storm of emotions too tangled to describe.

I hope they both find their peace either together or apart.

OP first I must commend you for letting her go, it was the right thing to do. She really needed that for her sanity, based on your previous story which I posted a comment on.

At this point, I don’t think there’s need for her parents to be doing all the ritual to appease her. She needs to be the one to be ready to come back. I suggest you go talk to her parents. Ask them to stop the rituals and appeasement. If/When she’s ready to come back, she can come back and apply, if there’s vacancy and she’s still needed, then she will be welcomed back

I tell people marriage is not by force,you could always opt out.no be do or die affez.


This op is a very shady person and as such I don't pity him.

Babsojimjim:
Dear All,

Although my wife has packed her belongings and left only a few old cloths of hers and my daughter which I stated in my previous post, I didn't force or compel her to stay back.

Prior to her leaving two counsellors/priest counselled us to both leave in peace and harmony yet she refused and left.

On the 1st of January, 2022 her parents invited me to there house for a dialogue on the way forward towards reunion, but she was still bent on going her way with flimsy excuses.

I took my leave and was told by her parents that they will get back at me.

Few days later I was asked to come back for a meeting with another senior man of God from her community and family church, this was the arrangement of her parents maybe to find a solution spiritually. At this juncture, do I honour the invitation or dishonour it?

Your good advise can be of help. Thanks

How come you are the one honouring invitations and your wife is not? Let her parents invite her, take her to see the clergy man and dialogue with her. Don't honor any invitation without your wife being present. If she is not present don't bother. Its likely your woman is receiving things out there...so be very careful.

In all your posts, you are trying to paint yourself the good calf by exonerating yourself by your every adjective dodging the main question: “what did you do?”


What did you do!!

The major reason a woman will leave in a marriage if it is unbearable...if you are unbearable! I also understand some may leave for other selfish reasons but what did you do!

chatinent:
In all your posts, you are trying to paint yourself the good calf by exonerating yourself by your every adjective dodging the main question: “what did you do?”


What did you do!!

The major reason a woman will leave in a marriage if it is unbearable...if you are unbearable! I also understand some may leave for other selfish reasons but what did you do!

Don't mind him.

udoakwa:
My Dad use to say never take back a woman that uses her hand to pack her things out of your house so long you did nothing wrong to her cos she has another motive before getting to such extent. Believe me if you never hurted her and she packed her stuffs and left and you're seating in meetings that outsider are begging her to come back, if she does that, the woman will never respect you again, if at all she ever loved you it is dead and gone so let her go

Same in my place.
If a woman decides to leave without the husband sending her packing,honestly culturally,it would be difficult for her to come back to that house.

Your wife cannot just leave the marriage without any reason. For the fact that you have refused to state the reason why she left, you are at fault. Please let her be and move on with your misery

Beremx:
Your wife cannot just leave the marriage without any reason. For the fact that you have refused to state the reason why she left, you are at fault. Please let her be and move on with your misery

My point exactly.

ibechris:
Same in my place.
If a woman decides to leave without the husband sending her packing,honestly culturally,it would be difficult for her to come back to that house.

Your culture has also been wrong in assuming the man the victim in many such cases.

Kobojunkie:
Your culture has also been wrong in assuming the man the victim in many such cases.

Come and use your pen to change it.
Abi na fight.

ibechris:
Come and use your pen to change it.
Abi na fight.

Fortunately, more and more people are adopting wiser ways of reasoning these cases.