So this persons marriage just went sour, and the man is requesting for the bride price refund. They have 3 kids. She's asking that if they refund the bride price, who should have the kids?

She's Reading in comment section.

Let the wife have them.

He should take his children responsibilities like feeding, school, shelter and health.

They can visit him during holidays.

How hard can this be?

Ahmed0336:
Let the wife have them.

He should take his children responsibilities like feeding, school, shelter and health.

They can visit him during holidays.

How hard can this be?

Simple logic!!

.... Very simple. Joint custody will be an ideal thing to do.so that no one feels cheated. And also for the children to feel the impact of both parents.

Nairalanders and understanding are far apart. The question is if the man collects the bride price he paid back, do the children still belong to him

faithfull18:
Nairalanders and understanding are far apart. The question is if the man collects the bride price he paid back, do the children still belong to him

You are the one who doesnt understand. The question is who would be in the custody of the kids

faithfull18:
Nairalanders and understanding are far apart. The question is if the man collects the bride price he paid back, do the children still belong to him

faithfull18:
Nairalanders and understanding are far apart. The question is if the man collects the bride price he paid back, do the children still belong to him

The bride price was for the woman not the kids. She didn’t come into the marriage with the kids, did she?

socialmediaman:

The bride price was for the woman not the kids. She didn’t come into the marriage with the kids, did she?

The kids are a product of the marriage, they came as a result of the man paying the bride price for the woman, didn't they?

Which kain topic be this?

Kobojunkie:
The kids are a product of the marriage, they came as a result of the man paying the bride price for the woman, didn't they?

Sigh. Boyfriends and girlfriends also have kids without bride price. Bride price repayment means she’s no longer his wife, has nothing to do with kids

Nisiw365:
You are the one who doesnt understand. The question is who would be in the custody of the kids

I doubt that's the question as it's common sense to let the kids stay with their mother while the father offers support in every way needed unless the woman is mentally unstable and has other things that makes her unfit.

The OP should know this I believe, so why would he come on here to ask again

socialmediaman:
Sigh. Boyfriends and girlfriends also have kids without bride price. Bride price repayment means she’s no longer his wife, has nothing to do with kids

Sure single folks can and do have kids, but the bride price was paid in particular so the kids could be of the marriage - the children who result from that contract are of that marriage. .

socialmediaman:

The bride price was for the woman not the kids. She didn’t come into the marriage with the kids, did she?

From what I heard, according to the Igbo culture, if you get a lady pregnant without paying her bride price, the child(ren) she bears belongs to her father right.

Now, the man wants to collect the bride price, I think this is where the OP's question is coming from.

faithfull18:

I doubt that's the question as it's common sense to let the kids stay with their mother while the father offers support in every way needed unless the woman is mentally unstable and has other things that makes her unfit.

The OP should know this I believe, so why would he come on here to ask again

In some cases, one or two children stays with the father depending on responsbility of parents

faithfull18:

From what I heard, according to the Igbo culture, if you get a lady pregnant without paying her bride price, the child(ren) she bears belongs to her father right.

Now, the man wants to collect the bride price, I think this is where the OP's question is coming from.

I see some commenters shifting goal post.


If repaying bride price means the lady is no longer married. i.e. marriage annulled, then the kids belong to the lady's family. Back to square one.

faithfull18:

From what I heard, according to the Igbo culture, if you get a lady pregnant without paying her bride price, the child(ren) she bears belongs to her father right.

Now, the man wants to collect the bride price, I think this is where the OP's question is coming from.

....Wrong.
Collecting of pride price is just to enable the woman remarry again if she so wishes.

Without the man collecting his bride price,the woman is still his wife and cannot remarry

Saintmary:




I see some commenters shifting goal post.


If repaying bride price means the lady is no longer married. i.e. marriage annulled, then the kids belong to the lady's family. Back to square one.

.....Smh. It's just for her to be able to remarry. It doesn't concern the kids.

The children still belongs to both.

JONNYSPUTE:
.....Smh. It's just for her to be able to remarry. It doesn't concern the kids.

The children still belongs to both.

Of course all kids belong to God and both parents.


People should stop using kids as weapon in their wars.

But I still maintain that if the man returns the bride price, he should just face front.

faithfull18:

From what I heard, according to the Igbo culture, if you get a lady pregnant without paying her bride price, the child(ren) she bears belongs to her father right.

Now, the man wants to collect the bride price, I think this is where the OP's question is coming from.

The court will have to make that determination if it goes to them, but traditionally, married or unmarried, the children default to the man, who is ideally the welfare provider. The bride price repayment is just a fulfillment of the divorce process so that the woman can go ahead and live her own separate life or remarry

Saintmary:



Of course all kids belong to God and both parents.


People should stop using kids as weapon in their wars.

But I still maintain that if the man returns the bride price, he should just face front.

... That's what you want but it's not what's obtainable.

JONNYSPUTE:
... That's what you want but it's not what's obtainable.

You're funny. I don't have a say in this matter.

See the way we're commenting as if the kids are properties that one can just have ..

Well..
The kids are a product of their union and thus both parties must take responsibility for them even if they're no more a part of that Union...
Thus, they should both have shared custody to those kids...

The refund of the bride price, signifies the end of the marriage and the woman is free to re-marry if she chooses to but it does not in anyway dissolve the parental rights and obligations of both parents towards their children.

If she won carry the kids, she should go ahead. nah she go suffer am provided she wouldn't disturb me for school fees or feeding money. Bride price indeed.