I met this girl through a relation 4years ago. She was under graduate then, l always visited her in school and chatted mostly on Sundays after church due to my work. To cut the long story short. She started showing attitude when she was about to graduate and eventually we break up... according to her, her people are not in support. She graduated, served (NYSC) and came back, no calls no chat for over two years then one faithful day around may last year she chatted me up. We became serious again... Honestly I love the girl so much and I want marry her. I wanted to do it traditional this Easter but she insisted on church wedding and I have only budget 500k for my marriage. Ok. She always come visiting, kiss and do the fowl play but no sex; she insisted on no sex before marriage. But on 15 February we did it and unfortunately she miss her period, both of us became worried... I bought test tube for her she did the test and told me it's negative meanwhile it was positive. I was very happy to hear that it was negative. On Thursday she promised to come house so that we can discuss about the marriage but she suddenly change her mind and told me something came up... To my greatest surprise, she told me yesterday that she was actually pregnant and she took drug and blood came out just once. Please my fellow nairaland family, can I still go ahead and marry her? She has been begging since yesterday but am confused I don't know what to do. She's a good girl but this singular act is scaring!! Please pardon my English.

Pobem efrywhere

The pregnancy she removed no be your own.

Women always have back up plan. Ensure you're not her plan B.

think well bro, falsehood in the foundation of something like MARRIAGE is not too good...and what's her reasoning for lying and aborting a pregnancy? .. secondly you know she could have married you without telling you about this right? ...so just think about everything well. .the decision is all yours to make. .good luck bro

Who got her pregnant?Why don't you want to marry her again?
She obviously aborted because she didn't want to keep it and you obviously didn't want it too.

She no wan put anoda man pikin on ur head.

thorpido:
Who got her pregnant?Why don't you want to marry her again?
She obviously aborted because she didn't want to keep it and you obviously didn't want it too.

both of us didnt want it since she insisted on church wedding there is no way we will pass marriage committee screening. But she should have tell me the truth and hear what I will say. To be sincere, my plan was that if she's pregnant I would talk to her to change her stance about Wedding then we quickly do the traditional marriage

rickpat:
think well bro, falsehood in the foundation of something like MARRIAGE is not too good...and what's her reasoning for lying and aborting a pregnancy? .. secondly you know she could have married you without telling you about this right? ...so just think about everything well. .the decision is all yours to make. .good luck bro

Thanks bro.
I will still ask her

MossLuv:


both of us didnt want it since she insisted on church wedding there is no way we pass marriage community screening. But she should have tell me the truth and hear what I will say. To be sincere, my plan was that if she's pregnant I would talk to her to change her stance about Wednesday vthen we quickly do the traditional marriage

She had her fears that she probably couldn't communicate to you.You got her pregnant which is the main issue.
You should talk to her and find out why she took the decision she took.

You are not the one who impregnated her

U garrrrritt.

Zonefree:
The pregnancy she removed no be your own.

Women always have back up plan. Ensure you're not her plan B.

Rubyjade:
You are not the one who impregnated her

Sometimes I wonder what kind of mumu men we have raised in Nigeria, how can OP not realise this plain truth.
Is it that there are no women out there that you have to give yourself high blood pressure on a woman that clearly does not send you ?

As a man, once a woman tells you it is over and she comes back later, you are a back up option and you will live to regret it.
Once a woman breaks up with you, and she goes for months then comes back later, never marry that woman, if you do, know that you are only a backup plan.

With the abundance of good women looking for husbands in Nigeria, I dont understand how a guy will still be enslaving himself with a woman that is using you as backup spits...

D pregnancy isn't yours. If its yours, she wouldn't hastily used drugs without your consent.

thorpido:
She had her fears that she probably couldn't communicate to you.You got her pregnant which is the main issue.
You should talk to her and find out why she took the decision she took.

Yet, she wants to marry a man that she can't communicate to/with ... How then would they solve their marital issues if she can't communicate?

And what's with your last paragraph?
He should talk to her? As what?
Why didn't she talk to him before she took this decision?
Mttttttwwwww...

OP...
If I were in your shoes, this would be the end of my relationship with her ...

You don't make such decisions without first putting me on the know, it's unacceptable!

MossLuv:
Ok. She always come visiting, kiss and do the fowl play but no sex;

What is fowl play?

MossLuv:


both of us didnt want it since she insisted on church wedding there is no way we will pass marriage committee screening. But she should have tell me the truth and hear what I will say. To be sincere, my plan was that if she's pregnant I would talk to her to change her stance about Wedding then we quickly do the traditional marriage

Loool the way we deceive our selves ehn, shey the marriage committee will not screen for premarital sex? okay you guys would have lied.


I don't want to believe she aborted because of church wedding oo.

Ishilove:

What is fowl play?

I stopped reading where you said you two engage in "fowl" play on her visits

Zonefree:
The pregnancy she removed no be your own.

Women always have back up plan. Ensure you're not her plan B.

You've been in the game for long.

oldienavie:

Sometimes I wonder what kind of mumu men we have raised in Nigeria, how can OP not realise this plain truth.
Is it that there are no women out there that you have to give yourself high blood pressure on a woman that clearly does not send you ?

As a man, once a woman tells you it is over and she comes back later, you are a back up option and you will live to regret it.
Once a woman breaks up with you, and she goes for months then comes back later, never marry that woman, if you do, know that you are only a backup plan.

With the abundance of good women looking for husbands in Nigeria, I dont understand how a guy will still be enslaving himself with a woman that is using you as backup spits...

Yes you are correct I am a back up option. But I believed she was a victim of bad boys lies. She's a very good girl that is why I welcome her back and accepted her. We all make mistake in our lives.

tayo60:
D pregnancy isn't yours. If its yours, she wouldn't hastily used drugs without your consent.

I will try and probe her about that but I believe I was responsible. Thanks

Ishilove:

What is fowl play?

Favfables1:


Yet, she wants to marry a man that she can't communicate to/with ... How then would they solve their marital issues if she can't communicate?

And what's with your last paragraph?
He should talk to her? As what?
Why didn't she talk to him before she took this decision?
Mttttttwwwww...

OP...
If I were in your shoes, this would be the end of my relationship with her ...

You don't make such decisions without first putting me on the know, it's unacceptable!

Thanks. I pick a point from your advice.

MossLuv:
I met this girl through a relation 4years ago. She was under graduate then, l always visited her in school and chatted mostly on Sundays after church due to my work. To cut the long story short. She started showing attitude when she was about to graduate and eventually we break up... according to her, her people are not in support. She graduated, served (NYSC) and came back, no calls no chat for over two years then one faithful day around may last year she chatted me up. We became serious again... Honestly I love the girl so much and I want marry her. I wanted to do it traditional this Easter but she insisted on church wedding and I have only budget 500k for my marriage. Ok. She always come visiting, kiss and do the fowl play but no sex; she insisted on no sex before marriage. But on 15 February we did it and unfortunately she miss her period, both of us became worried... I bought test tube for her she did the test and told me it's negative meanwhile it was positive. I was very happy to hear that it was negative. On Thursday she promised to come house so that we can discuss about the marriage but she suddenly change her mind and told me something came up... To my greatest surprise, she told me yesterday that she was actually pregnant and she took drug and blood came out just once. Please my fellow nairaland family, can I still go ahead and marry her? She has been begging since yesterday but am confused I don't know what to do. She's a good girl but this singular act is scaring!! Please pardon my English.

@bold:

What makes her a good girl?

I don't think marriage should be your concern in this situationship.

Build a relationship first.

Is it possible the baby wasn’t yours and that’s why she terminated so fast?

Beremx:

Beremx:

So - a lot of gra gra and busting in one second?

GloriousGbola:


So - a lot of gra gra and busting in one second?

MossLuv:


Yes you are correct I am a back up option. But I believed she was a victim of bad boys lies. She's a very good girl that is why I welcome her back and accepted her. We all make mistake in our lives.

These are the kind of men that bring shame to the male gender.
So you knew you were the backup option and still prepared to marry her.
It is people like you that post on NL complaining that your marriage is 2 months and your wife is already misbehaving.

Let me give you a golden advise, as a man, if the woman you want to marry does not consider herself lucky to have you and thinks she is doing you a favour by marrying you, your marital life will be filled with pains .
The lady has seen you as a feather weight, that is why she can be doing all that with you.

And you can see that she has zero respect for you by her actions.
Man up, and look for a woman that will consider herself lucky to have you, not the other way round. Be wise, as a man you have the upper hand but if you marry the wrong woman like this lady, you are toast.

oldienavie:


These are the kind of men that bring shame to the male gender.
So you knew you were the backup option and still prepared to marry her.
It is people like you that post on NL complaining that your marriage is 2 months and your wife is already misbehaving.

Let me give you a golden advise, as a man, if the woman you want to marry does not consider herself lucky to have you and thinks she is doing you a favour by marrying you, your marital life will be filled with pains .
The lady has seen you as a feather weight, that is why she can be doing all that with you.

And you can see that she has zero respect for you by her actions.
Man up, and look for a woman that will consider herself lucky to have you, not the other way round. Be wise, as a man you have the upper hand but if you marry the wrong woman like this lady, you are toast.

Ok. Thanks for your advice

MossLuv:
I met this girl through a relation 4years ago. She was under graduate then, l always visited her in school and chatted mostly on Sundays after church due to my work. To cut the long story short. She started showing attitude when she was about to graduate and eventually we break up... according to her, her people are not in support. She graduated, served (NYSC) and came back, no calls no chat for over two years then one faithful day around may last year she chatted me up. We became serious again... Honestly I love the girl so much and I want marry her. I wanted to do it traditional this Easter but she insisted on church wedding and I have only budget 500k for my marriage. Ok. She always come visiting, kiss and do the fowl play but no sex; she insisted on no sex before marriage. But on 15 February we did it and unfortunately she miss her period, both of us became worried... I bought test tube for her she did the test and told me it's negative meanwhile it was positive. I was very happy to hear that it was negative. On Thursday she promised to come house so that we can discuss about the marriage but she suddenly change her mind and told me something came up... To my greatest surprise, she told me yesterday that she was actually pregnant and she took drug and blood came out just once. Please my fellow nairaland family, can I still go ahead and marry her? She has been begging since yesterday but am confused I don't know what to do. She's a good girl but this singular act is scaring!! Please pardon my English.

What makes you think that girl is sincere to you in every thing you have been doing with her

Anyway since you like tolerating nonsense go ahead

But I think she will keep using your head until nothing is left