GloriousGbola:


Complete with sticking johnny for the house, the car alimony, child support payments, restraining orders and supervised visits with the kids. Only yt chicks could have systematically beat white boys in the the MGTOW movement

They asked for it and they got it.

Iyaebe:
I don’t agree with the last part of your statement,should we also decide on who to get pregnant ,nurse the kids,Cook and what have you?see as far as marriage is concerned each gender has it’s role to play,men been the provider while women give CARE.Equality in marriage paves way for divorce,this is the bitter truth.

Apart from pregnancy, the rest of the things you mentioned can be done by men. it’s not set in nature.
As much as some people will prefer the traditional arrangement, sometimes financial reality doesn’t allow for it. That means both partners have to work

Take your cue from all the men who keep complaining EVERY SINGLE DAY about women who are leeches, lazy, gold diggers, dependent etc. this tells you they do not want to be providers.The majority of them don’t want to provide. They have nothing but insult and derision for women who expect them to be traditional providers.

Which forces you as a woman to have to work (even if you don’t want to), In order not to depend on them. Now if you are doing that and still think it’s your role by nature to do everything else you mentioned, you’ll be severely overworked and resentful.

Men of today don’t want dependent women. Therefore women of today should learn self preservation by not holding onto 100% of their traditional feminine roles while doing the man’s work too. Your body will ache.

cococandy:


Apart from pregnancy, the rest of the things you mentioned can be done by men. it’s not set in nature.
As much as some people will prefer the traditional arrangement, sometimes financial reality doesn’t allow for it. That means both partners have to work

Take your cue from all the men who keep complaining EVERY SINGLE DAY about women who are leeches, lazy, gold diggers, dependent etc. this tells you they do not want to be providers.The majority of them don’t want to provide. They have nothing but insult and derision for women who expect them to be traditional providers.

Which forces you as a woman to have to work (even if you don’t want to), In order to not depend on them. Now if you are doing that and still think it’s your role by nature to do everything else you mentioned, you’ll be severely overworked and resentful.

Men of today don’t want dependent women. Therefore women of today should learn self preservation by not holding onto 100% of their traditional feminine roles while doing the man’s work too. Your body will ache.

Ok I get your point and I also agree that women should assist when needed,it’s just that 50:50 thingny that can’t sink in my head.I believe any man who brings that 50:50 mindset into a relationship does not truly love you,sounds like a business enterprise,it’s such a huge turn off.I don’t think I can ever be submissive to any man who demands such from me,I won’t be a liability,I will work,earn and assist when necessary without been told but what I’m finding hard to come to terms with is a man having his eyes fixed on my earnings and requesting that I bring 50percent of it,no naaaaa if God wanted me to be a provider,he would have given me muscles and more strength.If a man can’t provide,what then makes him a man?because that’s the only thing that should place them above women in marriage and relationships .Well,I’m glad there are men who don’t even care about their wife’s earnings,they just want to be respected and taken care of while they totally provide(masculine men).

@Op you have no right to decide for anyone on how he or she should manage their homes, some couples prefer splitting bills 50-50 and some do not, every home is different what works for MR A may never work for MR B keep your advise to your self and stop causing troubles in peoples home.

Nuellavanz96:

So many Twists and turns in your post that I found them, intriguing, amuzing, then confusing, then outright grandstanding.

Your header was a bashing, calling men who wants financial assistance from their women infidels, which is nothing but the simple truth. I thought the rest of your argument would follow similar line.

But then, you went on a numerical rampage of 50 - 50 responsibilities between the man and woman. And there at number 5 did I begin to perceive the emotional side of your argument outweighing your sense of reality and logic.

Not everything can be split evenly across board and sex and it's resulting consequences is one of them. They didn't bring equal energy and chromosomes to the table to begin with. He came with both X & Y chromosomes and you came to the party with just an X. He's not going to charge you for the extra chromosome. Neither will he be charging you for the extra work rate that got his heart racing, pumping blood at a faster than normal rate to achieve and maintain the rigidity of his shaft while injecting his seed into you.
You on the other hand was only more or less a passive passenger on this love boat. He won't charge you for all that because nature forbids him to. It was all dictated by nature. Same way nature have you bear the grunt of the resulting pregnancy. If you find a 50:50 partner, you can as well ask him to pay you for the time you spent dealing with the discomfort and inconvenience that come with your menstrual flow.



Lastly, you said "provision is easy" and you'd prefer being the breadwinner over getting pregnant and giving birth and house chores Well, when a woman denounces her natural disposition as a nurturer, prospective mother and caregiver and rather prefers that which nature bequeaths to a man, then we have the psychological problem of identity crisis and gender dissatisfaction disorder.

PrimadonnaO:
I personally don't think a 50-50 in all things will ever be realistic in marriage.

The scale's certainly going to be tipped in some way. And to choose to live a life of 50-50 is to choose a life of frustration... desperately trying to enforce things that aren't enforceable.

So I say, best not to prescribe.

Let each person do what's best for them.

Let those who want sole providers go for men who can truly be sole providers...

Let those who want to do their equality thing, do it to the extent that satisfies their soul.

*******
For me, many of these things that people call traditional roles don't bother me.

I don't call them roles... I simply do what I find I do well, and with less difficulty.


But I don't want to be stressed, nor to be saddled with an inconsiderate man.

Also cannot indulge a man who doesn't consider it his responsibility to be the provider.

Allow me pick up the bills I want to pick up.

If there's an occasion that requires more, let me know...

...And tell me the interest you'll pay on it.

C'est fini.

Nuellavanz96:
When a Nigerian man wants 50:50, he wants 50:50 in only bills. And if you as a woman agree to such, then you are a phool dear.

Let me explain the real 50:50.

1. Bills: 50:50
2. Cooking: 50:50
3. Childcare: 50:50 - when the baby is tender, you stay up this night and he stays up the following night. Yes, just pump breast milk and he will feed the baby.
When it's time for school runs, you take them, and he brings them back, or vice versa. Or you both hire nanny and split the nanny bills 50:50.

4. Domestic chores: split cleaning, laundry, market errands, etc 50:50. Or you hire a housekeeper and split the housekeeper's salary 50:50.

5. Pregnancy: all the money you lose as a result of pregnancy and childbirth, split into 2 and ask him to pay 50%.
For instance, if I was earning $6,000 per month and I got pregnant, and as a result my earnings drop to $3,000, here is the formular:
The cost of pregnancy on your earning is $6,000 - $3,000 = $3,000.
$3,000 divided by 2 = $1,500
He will pay you $1,500 per month.

I know pregnancy and childbirth takes a toll on your body. You can check out prices of cosmetic surgeries and ask him to pay half the total. Afterall, the children that "spoilt" the body belong to BOTH OF YOU. So, he will pay half to fix the body.
Or
You both look for a WILLING surrogate, then pay the surrogate 50:50.

If you look after the kids while he hangs out with the boys this weekend, the following weekend is your turn. He will look after the kids while you hang out with the girls.
Or
You can check if any of the kids' grandparents is willing to look after them for free or for a fee.
Or
You hire nanny and split the nanny bills 50:50.

6. If he draws a prenuptial agreement to secure his assets, make sure you include clauses to secure your own assets too. Don't be silly!

7. If you are doing 50:50, you must contribute 50:50 to any asset you acquire together and include BOTH FULL NAMES.

Alternatively, let him use his money to buy his assets in his name while you use your money to buy your asset in your name.

8. Kids will answer BOTH your names. That's still 50:50.

Dear ladies,
If a man suggests 50:50 to you, lay these terms down for him.

He can't share his own Traditional role with you 50:50 and refuse to share your own Traditional roles with you 50:50. That's bullshitt!

Women need to stop acting naive. It doesn't make you a good woman to allow yourself to be fooled.

PROVISION is the EASIEST thing to do.
If you ask me to choose between pregnancy, childbirth, and primary home keeper VERSUS breadwinner/provider, I'll choose breadwinner/provider. It's much more easier.

The women of my generation seem to be making as much or more money than their male counterparts.
Check out Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. More than 70% of the successful businesses there are being run by women.
Women of my generation are buying houses, lands, cars and even building for their parents.

If money is all you have to offer as a man, you are close to USE_LESSS.

*-*

I do NOT think 50:50 can work in marriage. Someone will get shortchanged, and it's almost always the woman.

*-*

Do I like the 50:50 arrangement in marriage? ABSOLUTELY NO!

This is disgustingly stupid. First they ask for 50:50 and now they see that they cannot stand the heat they are saying ohh no more 50:50. As far as I am concerned, if a lady will not submit then she should not be married. She can remain single all her life it's her choice. Any respectful and loving man who marries a lady that won't submit is a comprehensive fool. If a man will not provide, protect, lead, sacrifice and take responsibility for his wife and children he should not be married. He should remain single all his life and any lady who marries or allows such a man sleep with her is a certified idiot. If we chose right we would rid our world of emasculated men and saucy women but because good men fund the stupidity of low life bitches and good women spread their legs for emasculated imbeciles who call themselves men we continue to have a deluge of bitches and imbeciles everywhere!

cococandy:
Right. Because why get stuck in a mindset of one person MUST be the one to do this or that at all times because that’s what tradition demands. What happens when they genuinely can’t ? The marriage will collapse?

And many marriages crumble for that very reason.

Iyaebe:
I don’t agree with the last part of your statement,should we also decide on who to get pregnant ,nurse the kids,Cook and what have you?see as far as marriage is concerned each gender has it’s role to play,men been the provider while women give CARE.Equality in marriage paves way for divorce,this is the bitter truth.

The pregnancy and breastfeeding of babies are obviously not roles in marriage. Ask any unwed woman out there about this.

What many refer to as roles in marriage are mostly chores that can be handled by either partner in the marriage.

Is this still a marriage or bill of quantity?? All these calculations because you want to outsmart a so called partner and love of your life??

This "bill of quantity" will only thrive in a loveless marriage. That marriage will crash anyway. A little inflation or life threatening sickness and that marriage is over.

Before you accept an idea, it is important to look at the lives of those who adopt that idea. How many "bill of quantity" marriage do you know? How many thrived after 10 years? How many survived 30 years?

The only person that will sit with you to calculate the 50-50 role is your ENEMY. The second person is your EX.

This thing is somewhat innate. If it's not there, then forget about it.

The op tried to make sense but actually ended up making non. No exclusive formula works for all marriages because of income disparities, cultural values, personalities, economic outlook etc. I know men who also pay their working wives personal salary(different from feeding allowance) at the end of every month. Does that make it the standard? I also know women who shoulder over 70% of their family responsibilities. What makes op think the roles she is offering as reason for splitting bills cannot be outsourced and vice-versa, she hasn’t heard of surrogacy and gigolo right. So why should he/she want to marry you with all the attendant headache when such roles can be outsourced on a cheaper bargain. If it doesn’t works for you, simply run along, your mindset can never be a standard. Mr A’s template might not be applicable in B’s home due to a lot of factors.