Dear all,

On the 1st of July, I got a text from my fiancée telling me he was ending our 4/half years relationship. It was the most devastating piece of news I have ever gotten in my life. Well, many may say it is always the lady's fault when a relationship ends . Anyway, I wouldn’t want to load you with details. But subsequently, I met a guy who has been of help to me over the issue. he sent me the piece you are about to read, it brought a whole lot of relief and lessons. I hope you all would find it helpful too, now or in the future.

"When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand
and said, I've got something to tell you.

She sat down and ate quietly.
Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know
what I was thinking.

"I want a divorce!" I raised the topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me
softly, "Why"?

I avoided her question.

This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man!



That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping.

I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer, she had lost my heart to a lovely girl called Dew.

I didn't love her anymore, I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated
that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.
She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had
spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt
sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take
back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly.



Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her
cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing
something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to
sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful
day with Dew.


When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did
not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want
anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She
requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a
life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a
months time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to
recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.
She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out
of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going
crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd
request.

I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and
thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to
face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention
was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day,
we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding
mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the
bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten
meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly, don't
tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I
put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I
drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my
chest, I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I
hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realised she
was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair
was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I
wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy
returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to
me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy
was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to
carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday work-out made
me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few
dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my
dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so
thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.
Suddenly it hit me, , she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her
heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum
out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an
essential part of his life. My wife
gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my
face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last
minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through
the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly
and naturally. I held her body tightly, it was just like our wedding
day. But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held
her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school.
I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked
intimacy.

I drove to office, jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the
door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind, I walked
upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not
want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished. Then touched my forehead. Do you have a
fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I
won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I
didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each
other any more. Now I realise that since I carried her into my home on
our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.
Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then
slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove
away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my
wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and
wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a
relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property , the money in
the bank, blah, blah, blah. These create an environment conducive for
happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be
your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that
build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you, but if you do, you
just might save a marriage.



For those who are married, I intend to tell them via this piece that they can continue to have the best of time in their marriages (if they presently are).

For the others, well, it is certainly a piece to learn from.



PS: all comments on this piece and pieces of advice for the sender are welcomed. Just click reply.



Cheers.

Babe,take heart.There is a reason for every season.


About the article down there,that's an awesome one.

That was a good one 2 learn 4rm.
Give ur guy some time as a benefit of the doubt and if he is adamant, move on with life dearie.
Remember, Life is Beautiful.

the article is a very interesting one

all i want to tell u is that a broken relationship is better than a broken marriage

the right man who will love and know u intimately will come 4 u

goodluck

nea4real i think ure rith, can i got to know u more?iam emmy

quietaduni, that's a lovely piece i've learnt from it and i'm blessed.

dat was a very touching one. i guess its not over until its over, ladies the power in a relationship is in ur hands, so u use it wosely, my advice.

that story moved me to tears .anyway we men are so callous and blind .i guess you do not missyour well until it is dry .shikena

wao i really enjoy the story, it is true it is not money that we need but intimacy. and guys should always careful of ladies out there that want to destroy their matrimony.

O Girl, Congrats! He was definitely not for you. Count ur blessings, Cheer up okay and enjoy the beautiful life God has given to you.

As 4 dt article, it was so touching, thanx 4 sharing it with us.