RightToReject:


Keep on deceiving yourself and looking for your fellow small-minded elements to tell you what you want to hear to make you feel good while you keep mistaking the fact that you are a special needs person for a special person. Yours isn't introversion and has nothing to do with TSLK personality - Wannabe Abraham Lincoln, Issac Newton, etc.

Once more, only you and small-minded elements like you would not understand that it takes a special breed of woman (a discerning woman that has affinity for people with special needs) to put up with you in the long run, until both of you find yourselves in a quagmire journey.

mariahAngel:




At least, you've got some humour. That is a very important quality.
You can read people too. I think that is special.

DeutschJunge:


Mr Man free me naw!

Munzy14:

Finally F in your moniker...

What inspired that? Kwuo eziokwu o le ihe mere nu?

NoToPile:


Well it's not possible to have a 30-60 min conversation with your spouse weekly and you can't have a healthy marriage with little contact / communication with your spouse. That's 10 minutes of talk per day.

You have to communicate, you have to engage your spouse, there are no 2 ways about it. You will have to work on it

My husband is very reserved, I think not up to this extent anyway, he once told me all the words he has spoken since we got married is much more than all his words before he got married.

He sees talking as a chore lots of times and would rather keep quiet but in marriage there's always something to talk about, always something to do and discuss together.

Now the talking has extended to the kids, he communicates with them too, he is still seen outside as the extremely reserved guy but he does communicate at home there are times he just goes quiet which I understand but I wouldn't like it if he was totally quiet like that all the time.

mariahAngel:


Does it really matter?


Nothing really.

DeutschJunge:


Mr Man free me naw!
Your mind is so big that i am already occupying a huge portion of it, i am flying around in that big head-mind of yours like casper the ghost, right? Please ease off on the obsession. If trampling on people and trying to make them feel wortless to boost your dwarf ego is what gets you off, baba, you will forever remain flacid on this thread.

Point of correction, i never said i wanted to be like those people i mentioned in an earlier post, i only gave you examples of special gifted people that accomplished amazing things in this life. You on the other hand, trying to force your opinion down peoples throat, while implying that you have a mind big enough to obsess over sombody you dont know on a faceless forum, now thats a BIG-USELESS mind!

I ask kindly again, avoid my mentions!

JovialJune:
Are you at least handsome? It can cover up the lack of communication when in a relationship, some ladies no mind

Can you at least be on WhatsApp, because I don't see the difference between being on this forum and WhatsApp, na still same chatting format.

DeutschJunge:


Thank you for your reply.
Yes, you are right and I have thought about that, that is why I also try to look for a medical doctor. That way it is easier to explain to her and she would understand (based on her profession), even if she is ignorant, she can always do quick a research and she will understand.

The problem is most women think the can change you when you fall in love with them. They will form understanding at the beginning, down the line they will now start trying to change and tamper with default settings.

Secondly, women like their partner to be someone they can goof around and be all silly with. Basically, laugh and play like kids. That’s what keeps, maintains and in most cases increase their love for a man. I am VERY stiff! So, the thought that a woman will be managing you, rather than love you is just scary!

Thirdly, I was watching a documentary today about “ ghislaine maxwell” (of you don’t know her, google it). It is so obvious that if you are rich, it goes a long way to making a woman(some) love you, even if you are the worst person in the world. I am not yet on the level of buy luxury items for a woman, besides I don’t want that kind of love.

Your brother is a very lucky man to find a very understanding wife.

Munzy14:

You are giving the online sabinus audience, so expect more of the Mama Ngozi and her yard people talks.

You know the saying, silence is best option to such
Urchins when they start constituting nuisance.

DeutschJunge:
Na wa o,
A lady asked earlier why i do not use social media, this is the exact reason here. This individual ^^^^^^^^^

Apparently, he dosen't take rejection well. The funny thing is that i am a man and he is already so obsessed and stalking me. I fear for the women in his life. I can only imagine the abuse. I pray for your healing.

DeutschJunge:


Beauty is subjective, i think i am a 10. But, heck you might see me and think i am a 50 on a scale of 10.
Anyways, that was just a joke. Beauty fades, if you however love someone for who they are, that remains for a life time. So, i am not looking for someone that wants eye candy. Besides, money can make anybody fine, just look at the before and after pics of celebrities.

I will try to be on whatsapp, i just fear that i might not respond to messages on time and that will rub off on people the wrong way, but i will work on that.

Thanks for the contribution.

JovialJune:


If you are consistent and constantly on these streets, you'd know he is our resident Cinderella, he has obsessively fought with every known female moniker here, and the funny delusion of it all is that, he goes by another name "Lord.ko" ,

The "Lord" makes me laugh hilariously anytime I see it

DeutschJunge:


I know that, obviously it will be more. I like to keep conversations meaningful, so usually my favorite form of conversation with colleagues and people at least at this point in life, is usually straight question and answer. Tell me what you need, i give you what you need and vice versa. No small talk. Now, with a spouse that might be slightly different, but i am not banking on the fact that it would be significantly different.

I really appreciate youur contribution, You have first hand account and experience, which is why i created this thread. Do you mind if i ask more questions about the dynamics of your relationship?

-Does play/joke/fool around more now years into the marriage than he was before?
-If yes, how long did it take and how did you encourage it?
-if you could change anything about his personality, what would it be?
-How would you advice another woman who wants to marry someone like him?
-Do you genuinely love him or you are managing him? (you can choose not to answer, but if you do please be honest)
-If you could go back in time, would you marry him? (again you can choose not to answer)

KevinDein:

Tbh, the emboldened kinda like implies he's more often than not on the right side. One should question his values if most of the women in this section are a fan of him.

JovialJune:


When some women people can knowingly marry a violent man, Op's own is small, don't be surprised what some women will endure just to answer "Mrs"

Besides, there is a difference between a no conversation relationship and lack of communication fa, Op can talk, he just can't talk much

JovialJune:



Yeah, men who are unbiased and fair in logic and comments are often seen as wrong because of the I must support my gender no matter what mentality most remote controlled boys like you display, tell me what's new, anything women triggers your core non stop.....you've been noticed.

KevinDein:

Lol, I find the emboldened funny, coming from you. Seems you haven't even been paying attention to your posts, ma'am.

NoToPile:


Well you will have to communicate, it's not a sort of default settings if you ask me, your wife is someone you should be open to, even if you are quiet outside, there should be some liveliness with her, No woman will want a silent guy totally silent.

So bro you will need to unstiff your self, even stiff people become relaxed in the presence of their spouse. Your stiffness should not extend home.

Sorry to ask oo but don't you laugh? You made it sound like it's wrong to laugh and play as kids

Biglittlelois:



This!!!

mariahAngel:




At least, you've got some humour. That is a very important quality.
You can read people too. I think that is special.

Munzy14:

Your case is extreme case of Introverts....Of course most introverts are high intellectual beings and most are special as well.

In your search for a partner, you will be needing a 50/50 lady...More like an Ambivert.

An extremely introvert lady will bore you, because a man stir up conversation, since you aren't the communicating type, She won't.

An extreme extrovert on the other hand will find you boring,and will likely get attracted to that guy in the office who is always on the go with a touch of talkative .

So, an ambivert lady is your best bet...She will take time to study and understand your personality...

You on the other hand..Must adjust your style a bit to accommodate and give her the chance/opportunity to understand you.

Relationship/marriage must have communication..It is a must.. I mean conversations are necessary..It could be you explaining things about your day,

DeutschJunge:

Alright, I would work on the points there.

Do you have any experience you’d like to share? It would be highly appreciated.

JovialJune:



People say this "beauty fade" thing to console themselves abeg let's tell ourselves the truth, if you're fine you're fine, and you will keep aging like fine wine,

If you don't want exposure on other social media, pls try to be on WhatsApp so as to familiarize yourself with being able to communicate and flow with people, so pls work on that aspect

Thinking of it, I actually have a friend exactly like you and I'm already tired of being her friend sef, she's so introverted to the extent that she apologises everytime I chat her up, because she knows I will always complain about her silent treatment, I'm basically her only friend or acquaintance (I don't even know if she sees me as a friend sef) so your personality doesn't come as a surprise to me, with the way I keep advising her on improving her communication deficiency due to marriage etc, I'm sure she will block me one day

NoToPile:


@bolded with a spouse it will not be slightly different, it will be significantly different. Like 2 people from different backgrounds, orientation living together and you are saying it won't be significantly different abeg o.

I don't mind I will answer the ones I can.


- Play, joke/ fool around is mostly spontaneous, not something planned anyway. But I will say it is as it has been, if not lesser simply because there are more responsibilities now, little ones running up and down the house stressing everyone so not much time to catch fun, so the ones that happens we make the most of it. I could come with one Gist / aproko from the office and then we analyze dissect it, and then other conversations come in from his end and just when you are going with the flow a toddler needs attention

Just understand a lot of things can affect this, children, work, stress, even finances. A family without money might not be able to joke or fool around.


2.

3. If I could, I would want him to talk more and not suck somethings in like most men do.

4. Hmm, the personality of the lady also comes into play, someone with an extreme out going, extroverted personality might (will) not be able to cope. So I would say if the person extremely extroverted there's no point they would be miles apart.

I need to say I am also a quiet indoor person, just that I communicate better with people closest to me,not a SM freak like him too, possibly this similarity helped.

Major difference is I believe in talking things through with my loved ones but outside I would rather be silent and ignore since I believe they really don't matter in the grand scheme of things.

5. Yeah I do and I am not managing.


6.Yeah I would, I don't need one hot head that will be frustrating life out of someone.





Let me add this

Please don't be stiff in your home, let your stiffness stay outside , most women cannot cope with a stiff man, they might just manage, Loosen up.
In marriage things flow naturally they just do, different things, you laugh together, cry together, celebrate the little successes, the big ones, you quarell, make up, etcetc.

All you need is one lady that will sweep you of your feet, that stiffness will disappear. just have an open mind.