I have 2 kids and believe me I started spanking before they were 1 yr old.

But I only did it when I knew they were acting deliberately in disobedience. e.g. My youngest goes to bed at 8pm period - no negotiations. He is 16 months old and in the last one week he has started refusing to go to bed at 8pm, crying and screaming in his room despite the fact that his older brother is obeying the same instruction.

I condoned it the 1st time and 2nd time as one off , the third time - I ignored him and told him you need to lie down, he refused. I smacked him on his behind and quickly he lied down and in 5 minutes was fast asleep.

If I had continued talking , it wont work till he got his way - he was testing boundaries and if i allowed him to get away with it his elder brother will join causing chaos.

Kids are different from each other in so many ways, we must learn to discern the right time to use the right methods of scolding to get the best result.

another example - my older boy likes cereal. last night, he kept chanting I want cereal - i said no each time. I warmed his rice, took it to the table and told him to eat it - when he refused, I pointed in the direction of his younger brother happily eating the rice and then he said ok mummy and ate it all up , he was just testing boundaries.

I smack my kids and will continue to do so whenever I deem necessary to drive my point home. My father spanked me and punished me and really I am the better for it and despite this I have a special relationship with him and know beyond a doubt that he loves me.

If the children know they are disciplined in love; it makes a whole lot of difference!.

one of the problems we are facing in nigeria now is as a result of copy copy. we are suppose to look at the good aspect of life and copy from the western world and allow the bad aspect to remain with them. there is moral decadence in our society today because we have deviated from the principles our fathers taught us. i was spanked, beaten, and disciplined rightly and that is why i grew up better than children of today. i eill spank, beat, and discipline my child when the need arises and no one can stop it but i will not abuse it. i believe that if every one in the world should follow my footstep the world will be a better place.

all this spanking and nigeria is still a horrible place?

are you people still debating this matter? na wah o!!

where is it heard of that you do not discipline a child? abeg stop all these "no-beating" stories!!

We are not saying one should abuse a child or beat a child unnecessarily, but for God's sake how can you raise a 'goodly' and 'godly' child without spanking when necessary?

haba people; even the bible says " spare the rod and spoil the child".

The kind silly things wey i dey see oyinbo children do in public dey make me sorry for their lives atimes, all in the name of no beating. abeg, abeg, abeg o!

I reject such for my children in Jesus name, amen. But before then, i will discipline them well, well.

can someone explain why, with all the beatings, Nigeria is still corrupt?

no one has attempted to answer this question. 

beating is just too easy, which is why so many people do it exclusively. its more convenient for the parent, since the use of force cows the child into submission. Besides, most Nigerians were raised to regard beating as the only form of discipline.

Personally, i just don't see how someone can spank a baby.

anyway, each to his own. Everyone should raise their children the way they feel is best.

Not all children respond to beatings. I'm sure many armed robbers ( some with legit jobs, others without), were also beaten as children.

were yahoo boys ( 419ers) not beaten when they were growing up?

another example - my older boy likes cereal. last night, he kept chanting I want cereal - i said no each time. I warmed his rice, took it to the table and told him to eat it - when he refused, I pointed in the direction of his younger brother happily eating the rice and then he said ok mummy and ate it all up , he was just testing boundaries.

Why compare your kids . If they grow up to be rivals you will wounder were it started.
If i ever tell one of my kids to look at her sister, she will tell me she is not her sister and dose not want to be like her sister.Then she is her own person.

tpia:

can someone explain why, with all the beatings, Nigeria is still corrupt?

no one has attempted to answer this question.

beating is just too easy, which is why so many people do it exclusively. its more convenient for the parent, since the use of force cows the child into submission. Besides, most Nigerians were raised to regard beating as the only form of discipline.

Personally, i just don't see how someone can spank a baby.

anyway, each to his own. Everyone should raise their children the way they feel is best.

Not all children respond to beatings. I'm sure many armed robbers ( some with legit jobs, others without), were also beaten as children.

were yahoo boys ( 419ers) not beaten when they were growing up?

Too much beating,turns one yahoooooo.
people should take note.

oh baby osisi the way u dey talk u dey make me go crazy.

NOW i think that is the height of abuse and such mother should be jailed for a very long time, not fit to be a mother, what could a child of 6 months possibly have known, if you check well, such mother are the frustrated ones and they wanna take it out on the poor kids, sometimes, i wish the kids could chose where they wanna belong to, cos some pple dont even deserves to be a mother, i beg poster, cant u call the police for such woman, haba, that makes me sick
If she is frustrated, she only have to take it easy, cos i know nigeria could drive one crazy and do what you neer imagine u cld do

I dislike beating children. But I don't spare them when they are wrong. It is all about common sense.
Spanking kids is an art to me. I know when to use it and when to avoid it.
People who are brought would know when an action is appropriate. Those who have no manner cannot be expected to offer one. Little wonder, we have lot of rascals roaming the street. We must never compare our country with europe.

The west might have outlawed spanking, they have correctional facilities, juvenile courts, well structured educational system etc to take care of the lapse. Yet, in spite of this, we know their moral systen had broken down. Our attempt at copying them without looking at the cultural difference would hurt us the more.

My rule when spanking a child is that: ALWAYS LET THE CHILD KNOW WHAT HE DOES WRONG, AND LET HIM HAVE A SECOND CHANCE BEFORE SPANKING. You don't just hit a child for wrong doing, you must have a way of putting him right. Spanking must be last option.

olanojim thanks for what u said , am in support of that. sure u will make a great father

Yodiyokun, i am sure that you wont wanna have the children aids in canada read this kinda post, firstly, are youe kids in Daycare or r u a stay home Mom, there gets to some age, that the kids wanna test your "feet down" ability, and there is nothing wrong in that, now spanking a 16 months old child, sometimes, depends on how u did it, remember the law of the land is that you can spank to leave mark, neither spank at some certain area, and besides, 16 month old is too young to understand what you trying to teach him/her, i so much beleive that we in this generation are still trying to raise kids, the way we were raised, which was aiight for that time, why cant we use mouth and direction to train them, must we alway use the beatings, i was at a zambian's family house and the woman was using a stick used in making fufu to beat the kids, that is nothing but assault, let us trying using the mouth and leave the stick and the beating out of discipline,

sadists,

Teach a child the way he should go and when he is older he will not depart from it.

Spare the rod and spoil the child. Thus says the Bible.

My Father only spanked me once when I took the car out to the River in the night. But my mum?

She is something else, we used to call her Hiltla but she will wait till 12 midnight before she will awaken

you and say fly up fly down and the cain will start decending on you like manner from Heaven.[/color][color=#990000][/color][color=#990000][color=#990000][/color]

mellow, i think it is thebest thing to descipline the kid when the crime was commited, so that they will know why they are being punished, waiting till later at night, i think that aint fair at all

i am very surprised at the response of some people here. beating a baby is wrong no doubt about that, but the moment a child starts growing there is this natural "naughtiness" that needs to be corrected and if after warning the child verbally he or she didn't yield then the scolding comes in and in as much as it is necessary u dnt av to overdo it. in a home where there is love, verbal correction and flogging ones in a while, the home will be peaceful and the children grow to be good children. i dont agree that one should not scold children but u must make sure u show more of love and verbal correction. for those that says otherwise pls. have a rethink, it is not a crime

Beating impairs brain development in children,they never grow up,if they do,they grow up weak,insecure and lack sense of responsibility,because they have never been given chance to reason by themselves as children.It is a common sight to see an adult in africa with a child sense of reasoning and people just assume is normal,it takes a typical nigerian almost a life time to grow up.Peter Pan.

People still beat children?  Please I believe in tough love!  My daughter had the nerve to come home with her pants out of her jeans---from school---trying to be "hip hop" I guess.  Warned her about 3 times and she did not listen.  Just ignored her.  Made sure

I showed up at her school to pick her up in the same, identical outfit----with my "shocking" pink underwear out of my jeans too.  Disgrace am well well in front of her friends.  She did not speak to me for a week.  Did she do it again?---maybe. But not to my knowledge? Let me catch her again!  Make she just try am again!  I threatened to show up half naked the next time.---Who born monkey?  he he he he he he!!!! Idiot!!!!!!

That is why it is good to have children early! Energy to police them is abundant! Beating? God forbid! That is for animals!

[
Rhino,

Let me tell you, When I smack my kids, I use my hands and no stick. Like some one said, you need to know when to use it or else it becomes ineffective. Besides smacking is allowed in canada as long as you don't "abuse" the child.

You have to understand that kids differ, I when you have gentle and compliant kids, words are generally enough with a smack few times.
But when you have kids that know how to be naughty and pigheaded, you better tie your pants well or they will sell the roof overyour head later in life.

By 1 year old, you generally have an idea if you have a strong willed child, a strong willed child is different from a spoilt child. And you need Gods grace to help you with a strong willed child.

Let me give you another example, I took my kids shopping over the weekend, and it was cold. At a point in time, one said he does not want his jumper and he kept screaming 'no , mummy no' in the car park. I decided to let him be. For the last 2 days, he has developed flu. This is a 2.5 year old and he is already throwing stupid tantrums. If you have compliant kids, lucky you but some of us are not so lucky.

If he was in Nigeria, will he have the audacity to be shouting no in a public place, they would have re -inforced the home training further in daycare. But here, you re-train your kids everyday they get back from daycare, because they copy all sort of things from oyinbo kids.

It was in day care my son learnt " I dont want it mummy" . Before he started, it was yes mummy or ok mummy.

Anyway, each one to his own - I rest my case

Almost every older person I have met has told me that morals have gone to the dogs in UK because children are now allowed to do what they like. They always say that they got spanked as kids and they turned out right but the ones who are now so ill-mannered are the ones that legislation forbids you to use your judgement in training and disciplining.

There is no staistic or evidence to support the notion that it is wrong to spank your child in love for correction. However, there is evidence that children who are now being raised without a fear of the rod are rotten and terribly violent.

NSPCC will tell you that you are teaching them violence but the ones who have not been spanked are the most violent ones. Those who were spanked in those days were never nearly as violent as the unruly and unfearful ones which parade every British city these days.

Spanking should be applied,But with caution.Some kids could be stubborn .My Dad will stop at nothing to trash our buttocks or on our palms when we misbehave its a strong way of disciplining a child.Never Spank or slap your kids,But tap their buttocks or palms to avoid injury on their body.I still encourage it,

I showed up at her school to pick her up in the same, identical outfit----with my "shocking" pink underwear out of my jeans too. Disgrace am well well in front of her friends. She did not speak to me for a week. Did she do it again?---maybe. But not to my knowledge? Let me catch her again! Make she just try am again! I threatened to show up half naked the next time.---Who born monkey? he he he he he he!!!! Cheesy Idiot!!!!!!

LOL. Now she got to see how she looks when she dress like that. How creative of you! Teenagers are so funny.

April22:

LOL. Now she got to see how she looks when she dress like that. How creative of you! Teenagers are so funny.

You betcha!   No long talk.  These children want to see action and less talk.  Was she embarrased or what? Mom!  how could you?---------- In front of ma friends? I am like--when I talk to you do you listen?   See im mouth!   The fool is only 11, not even a teenager yet oh! --Like that was what I sent her to do in school.  I believe in teaching kids lessons by actions not talking.  She did not even try it again.  I do not believe in spanking---where do you draw the line?---you will just kill them.

JUST AN Observation

Generally, in my profession African children are more well behaved than any other culture of children (Though Asians are equal in respect to having well disciplined obedient cooperative children).

However, without a DOUBT and NO exaggeration, when I do run across an African child that acts like they have no sense, no home training, and no discipline 100% of the time they were IGBO. I kid u not. And I see a LOT of children in my profession.

Why do Igbo children (In America) behave so badly? Often as bad, and sometimes worse than Black American Ghetto kids.

[center]DO igbos whip/beat/spank their kids?
[/center]

Tanna:

JUST AN Observation

Generally, in my profession African children are more well behaved than any other culture of children (Though Asians are equal in respect to having well disciplined obedient cooperative children).

However, without a DOUBT and NO exaggeration, when I do run across an African child that acts like they have no sense, no home training, and no discipline 100% of the time they were IGBO. I kid u not. And I see[b] a LOT of children in my profession.[/b]Why do Igbo children (In America) behave so badly? Often as bad, and sometimes worse than Black American Ghetto kids.

[center]DO igbos whip/beat/spank their kids?
[/center]

Nne, you don buy market oh!  Enjoy! What is your profession and what is your classic interpretation of "no sense, now home training and no discipline"---

_{zoooooooooooooooooooooms off---------sweating profusely!!!!!}

i dont think it doesnt help because some children when you beat them they do worse, because they are either used to the beatings or just dont care so i think punishin is better than beating. i no some children they really get beatin all the time but they always do that same thing they got beating for cuz after a while they dont care any more

Every child has a demon called stubbornness.But wisdom and spanking can deliver them.

@ N- Joy
Ur parents spankin did u no good? I think u should be spanked further.

If you really want your child to grow up the right way then you may have to sometimes discipline such child. Alduh for a 16 months old i cannot say i wud sanction that, however there are times when you really need to take up the cane for you to pass tthe message across. I must say that it is not everytime that you use the cane. There are times when you just need to speak to them and let them understand when certain things are wrong. however you may need the cane when talking no longer works. Also i think theres a certian age limit which you can actually use the cane. I wont sanction the flogging of a child below 2yrs and above 15yrs. I believe that these are the formative years. A child below 2 might not understand why he is being disciplined. Also a chil;d above 15 yrs bas [past the age of trying to use the cane to talk to him you need to do more of talking and counselling then