Hello Everyone, please I need as much input as possible on this matter.
I have a family person who is married to a Yoruba man ( please I can't say the exact state in South west). They have been married for over 8 years now with four kids, but recently decided to take the bull by the horn. She left with the kids recently when he travelled to another state for an event. I will try as much as possible to cover the issues that we need help to deal with.
1) The wife and children doesn't get good food to eat. Sometimes when she asks for money to cook, he dips his hand into his pocket and gives her 200 naira. Mind you, he is a Lecturer with a PhD.
2) The wife gives birth through CS, there was never a time when he ever prepared. The last baby she had, she almost went blind because she is hypertensive, and thought of trying normal labour after being booked for CS because of his attitude.
3) Since she left over two months, he has never bothered to ask how they are feeding. It was when they had travelled for over a month he asked where they were, without bothering to come then.
4) He verbally abuses her. He keeps telling people and even told her to her face that she is the witch hindering his progress. He told their first son too that she is a witch and tried to kill him when he was little ( there was an accident that occured).
5) Several people have tried to mediate, but he has refused to change. Infact, he told her even if Jesus comes down things will not change.
I could go on and on but this will not end.
Is there a human rights organization/body that can help her, because the man is not willing to change. Normally in working countries, deductions will be made from his salary for the children's upkeep. Is there anyway to fight for this. He earns close to 200k in a month.
Lalasticala, mynd44, please I need coverage on this, it's a very serious matter.
Thanks.

Please if you know any NGO, help us with it. It will go a long way for us.

May God help us! Many women are the reason behind their predicament.

It is very easy to write off your husband but keeping the pace becomes the main issue.

If she has where to go why look if he will call her after a month?

He gives her only #200, now you know the value of not having a father figure around. You think everything is money!

Rubbish!

Which state did they live in, before she moved out?

. Since she left over two months, he has never bothered to ask how they are feeding

He's shattered you left and you still expected him to bother about feeding a runaway wife

From the write up, it's obvious the woman eyes just dey the man money...she's not even after her happiness.

. Normally in working countries, deductions will be made from his salary for the children's upkeep. Is there anyway to fight for this. He earns close to 200k in a month.

Go and return his children if you can't take care of them! This is Nigeria, child support no dey work here. FFK's wife tried and failed, now she's back and still collecting the gbola.

let her go to welfare...present evidence of she and the kids being maltreated...they will take it up from there...it's really unfortunate because even welfare officials will still want bribe.

if it's getting child support,she wi definitely get it.

BUT I WILL STRONGLY ADVISE,SHE GETS SOMETHING DOING TO TAKE CARE OF HERSELF AND THE KIDS... BECAUSE EVEN AFTER GETTING THE WELFARE TO GET THE MAN TO BE PAYING THE CHILD SUPPORT,THAT PSYCHO OF A MAN WILL NEVER PAY THE MONEY AS AT WHEN DUE, HE WILL USE THAT MONEY TI FRUSTRATE HER LIFE...THEY WILL HAVE TO DRAG HIM EACH MONTH BEFORE HE PAYS IT...


THAT'S WHY I STRONGLY ADVISE WOMEN TO BE WORKING...

I wish her the best...so much for someone to k be called a married woman... mtchewww

[quote author=Felimax post=114183442]May God help us! Many women are the reason behind their predicament.

It is very easy to write off your husband but keeping the pace becomes the main issue.

If she has where to go why look if he will call her after a month?

He gives her only #200, now you know the value of not having a father figure around. You think everything is money!

Rubbish! [/quote
If you don't have anything meaningful to say, please just don't say anything at all. Na beg I dey. In all I pray no female you know of will ever encounter this.

@ Mindlog.
Ekiti.

@rickpat. She is currently making snacks though. Not enough, but I will inform her to go to welfare. Thanks so much.

before a woman will leave with four kids...trust me,she must have seen hell...do you think it's easy for a women with kids to leave a man?.. especially when she is not financially stable...the woman must have seen hell...

many may not understand...but it's okay...I really hope she finds her SANITY

LuvsBeautifl:
@rickpat. She is currently making snacks though. Not enough, but I will inform her to go to welfare. Thanks so much.

welfare is the surest bet for now...

This is a one sided story, but may God restore this family again.

@ rickpat. Yes, what really made her leave was when she heard about she heard of Osinachi's passing. That was the straw that broke the camels back. I can't say all the horrible things o, but I told her I wouldn't have taken 1/10th of what she took and for over 8 years. Thanks for your input.

@Freestainworld, my brother, me sef no dey like one sided story, but when a woman gives birth through CS and in less than two months she is already frying garri in order to be able to feed, the matter get K leg.

LuvsBeautifl:
@ rickpat. Yes, what really made her leave was when she heard about she heard of Osinachi's passing. That was the straw that broke the camels back. I can't say all the horrible things o, but I told her I wouldn't have taken 1/10th of what she took and for over 8 years. Thanks for your input.

see,I can relate with this very well,you don't even need to tell me....no woman would leave her husband with four kids if something life threatening is not going on there...leave to where?...how many men would want her with four kids?...so it must be a life threatening issue before she chose to leave....

Zonefree:

He's shattered you left and you still expected him to bother about feeding a runaway wife

From the write up, it's obvious the woman eyes just dey the man money...she's not even after her happiness.
[b][/b]

Go and return his children if you can't take care of them! This is Nigeria, child support no dey work here. FFK's wife tried and failed, now she's back and still collecting the gbola.

"Her eyes dey him money " ?After four kids and how many years of suffering?

Even if he doesn't want to spend money on the wife, what about HIS kids?
Who gives #200 to fend four kids?
He's an Irresponsible Deadbeat monster !

The way you rush to criticise and condem.n women even when the men in the picture are clearly wrong is turning you into a bitter soul and a dimwit.

poshestmina:


"Her eyes dey him money " ?After four kids and how many years of suffering?

Even if he doesn't want to spend money on the wife, what about HIS kids?
Who gives #200 to fend four kids?
He's an Irresponsible Deadbeat monster !

The way you rush to criticise and condem.n women even when the men in the picture are clearly wrong is turning you into a bitter soul and a dimwit.

You really believed a lecturer will give N200 to fend for his four kids and beloved wife

I used to think you have sense, I was wrong all these while.

Zonefree:

You really believed a lecturer will give N200 to fend for his four kids and beloved wife

I used to think you have sense, I was wrong all these while.

If the Misogyny in you had allowed you reasoned ,you'd have thought of that before rushing to type.
If he was taking care of his family, do you think the woman would have left with four kids?

Which sane man will want to turn a child against the mother?

The bile and bitterness against women is eating deep into your soul Zonefree.

poshestmina:


If the Misogyny in you had allowed you reasoned ,you'd have thought of that before rushing to type.
If he was taking care of his family, do you think the woman would have left with four kids?

Which sane man will want to turn a child against the mother?

The bile and bitterness against women is eating deep into your soul Zonefree.

You're passing judgement based on what you read from the woman, have you heard the man's account of the story?

You believed a lecturer will give N200 to fend for his four kids?

Do away with your misandry before you complain of misogyny.

@poshestmina please ignore him, I wanted to reply him initially but advised myself against it.
This woman after she gave birth through CS, in less than two months had to start frying garri. No beverage for breast feeding mother. No diaper. Sometimes she just lays cloth on the bed at night for the baby. Truly if there's something I don't wish an enemy, it's this kind of suffering.

LuvsBeautifl:
@ Mindlog.
Ekiti.

Ok, she should go to FIDA's office. It is the federation of women lawyers and such case is part of what they support.

Office Address: Aare Afe Babalola Bar Centre High Court Premises, Ado-Ekiti.
Phone No: 07039092575, 08025689076

Felimax:
May God help us! Many women are the reason behind their predicament.

It is very easy to write off your husband but keeping the pace becomes the main issue.

If she has where to go why look if he will call her after a month?

He gives her only #200, now you know the value of not having a father figure around. You think everything is money!

Rubbish!

Keep quiet, this isn't a case of the woman being like a jezebel - the fact that she left with the kids while he was away notwithstanding. In fact, I don't want to believe that it's the same OP you read and dropped this nauseating comment I have read; if it's, something must be wrong with you for trying to justify the man's callous and cruel actions in general under any guise.

No matter how irritating a woman becomes to her husband after her initial physical/material objects of attraction become unappealing to him as it usually is in most scenarios, I wager this is the unpronounced happening in this scenario, he still ought not to be found wanting in sincerely catering for his family to the best of his ability and always being courteous to them - something this man has failed to do.

@Mindlog.

Thanks so much. I truly appreciate your help. Thank you.

She gave birth to one, husband no send her, she gave birth to second one, husband no send .
You still the open leg for him until you had four kids, not even vaginal delivery, but c/s.
I’m sure if the man comes back, you will still carry another belle.
Now you are looking for people to worry with your lack of planning.
Please go get a job and train your responsibilities.

.

@UpInTheSky
True. She tried implants at one time, but they started giving her health issues, she had to remove it. Now after the fourth child, she opted for a permanent method, because it was CS.
Thing is, she loved him and believed that he would change, but he never did.

Zonefree:

You're passing judgement based on what you read from the woman, have you heard the man's account of the story?

You believed a lecturer will give N200 to fend for his four kids?

Do away with your misandry before you complain of misogyny.

Maybe you should help us get the man to come and tell his side of the story.

If he was a good husband/father ,I'm sure the woman wouldn't have left.
A man that doesn't even care about the whereabouts of his kids will definitely not care if they were/are starving or not.

In all of these,I blame the woman for holding on for too long , getting pregnant severally and hoping to change a beast.

I don't"hate men". I condemn toxicity and irresponsibilities regardless of the gender...Unlike you,that's always putting women down (to make yourself feel better ,i guess ).

LuvsBeautifl:
@poshestmina please ignore him, I wanted to reply him initially but advised myself against it.
This woman after she gave birth through CS, in less than two months had to start frying garri. No beverage for breast feeding mother. No diaper. Sometimes she just lays cloth on the bed at night for the baby. Truly if there's something I don't wish an enemy, it's this kind of suffering.

These barking dogs needs to be kept in check once in a while.

I wish "your friend " well and hope she stays strong for her sanity and the innocent kids she brought into this mess.

lilyheaven:
She gave birth to one, husband no send her, she gave birth to second one, husband no send . You still the open leg for him until you had four kids, not even vaginal delivery, but c/s. I’m sure if the man comes back, you will still carry another belle.
Now you are looking for people to worry with your lack of planning.
Please go get a job and train your responsibilities.

Are you being serious? So a woman and her husband making babies together becomes the woman's fault?

UpInTheSky:
Based on your writeup, it sounds like the man has been like this for a long time, at least for her to finally leave, which makes one wonder why she kept having more kids for him.
If you're married to an abusive man who doesn't give a flying cow about you and the kids, the last thing you should be doing is having more kids for him, especially if you don't have the means to take care of all of them by yourself - in case he refuses to provide.

This is Nigeria we are talking of here where women are still raised to believe their glory lies in making babies and submitting to their husbands..

4 kids? That's too much to have with an irresponsible man in 8 years.

Start by reporting him to his employer.

Zonefree:

You're passing judgement based on what you read from the woman, have you heard the man's account of the story?

You believed a lecturer will give N200 to fend for his four kids?

Do away with your misandry before you complain of misogyny.

Google the story of a court case of where the wife a PhD Holder dragged the now ex-husband who is a Professor in the field of Education at the University of Ibadan for his refusal to continue paying their children' school fees ....... nothing is impossible when it comes to human behaviour, be it male or female.

LuvsBeautifl:
Please if you know any NGO, help us with it. It will go a long way for us.

For the fact that she walked away alive, means that God have been with her

Looking for an NGO that will talk sense to a lecturer is not the issue, the issue is will he do the right thing by sending any amount he will be asked to pay

If she is already working, let her just look after those kids and believe God that he will one day look for them all

Al these irresponsible people going into marriage done tire person