"Next," the conference emcee announced, "we have the chief of the Minnesota State Patrol, Roger Ledding, who is here with his lovely wife, Beverly."
The chief took his place at the lectern.
"I'm a little nervous," he began, "getting up before this distinguished audience and speaking today. But not nearly as nervous as I will be tonight when I must go home with my wife, Audrey, and explain Beverly to her!"

A perfect example of when copy and paste goes wrong. Poster, you no even pirate people joke. It's your village, i swear.