can you marry anyone from a broken home? why do we have broken marriages these days? and what can we do to stop a home from breaking?

These are questions bugging my mind. Who can help me out?

can you marry anyone from a broken home?

why would taht have to do with anything? so many people are from broken homes and gone on to have successful, lasting marriages.

Darklady, let just say experience is the best teacher, they have been there they know better.a broken home is rarely a choice for a child raise in one. From the few i know it works out better. .This is not to say it a gurantee because Making a marriage work depends on the value the couple put on their union.
Y we have broken homes is simple
1. the value for the union
2.Marriying for the wrong reasons
3. lack of principle to make it work.

There is nothing wrong with that, ones past never determines ones future, only makes you stronger.

for me anyway , i cant marry a guy that is from a broken home, that is sure for me

As far as I am concerned, Love is the determinate factor in any relationship, so if the girl I am dating or planning to take her to the altar is from a broken home, I guess I would only check to see if she truly loves me and not if she is from a broken home. One thing we fail to understand is that much love shown to any one who has had problems from the home front, generally brings out the best out of that person.

So for me I would say I would get married to a girl from a broken home, 'cuz as much as I know, what ever happened in her family will not rub off on her or my relationship with her, all I would do is to show her love like she had never been loved before in her life. I will make her so comfortable that she would have little or no time to sit and be thin king of what happen ed to her parents and there by allowing things to affect our relationship. i will try to give her much of my time and love and most of all give her the due respect for a woman.

julietnice I guess everyone in this life deserves a chance, what if the guy turns out to be the best man you've ever met, would you say he was God sent but the devil tried to play pranks with his fate by bringing him out of a broken home? How you treat anyone from a broken home detemines how that person will turn out to be in future. Like some one said, "There is nothing wrong with that, ones past never determines ones future, only makes you stronger."

I don't think so.

Why not, it is the mentality that matters not the totality of her background I will go ahead ofcourse and marry her if I love her.

I would advise anyone dating anybody from a broken home to really take time out to study him/her.

I married someone from a broken home, but I went ahead because I knew my partner was like a 'rebel' in her family. Someone like that would obviously not have imbibed the negative attitudes of a broken home. In most cases, if a lady is very close to her mum who is from a broken marriage, her impression of MEN would extend to the daughter and that would definitely affect her.

People should know that the same rule does not apply to everybody. Study your partner very well and never allow your emotions to rule your head. What is more important is your lasting happiness.

i dont see anything wrong wit marrying someone from a broken home,
so sure,why not love is love

for myself i wouldn't like to marry from a broken home. I pray not to marry from a broken home. If u feel like going ahead then u have to bear whatever comes out of it. I wish u all the best. cheers

Of course you can marry someone from a broken home. There are many great children that grew to be amazing adults that have come from broken homes. Someone mentioned earlier about experience being the best teacher and I have to agree with them.

You can always see how your family struggled to deal with a broken marriage which could only motivate a person to work hard at keeping their union together. Also, as in any relationship one must work hard at keeping it together. If you're dealing with two determined people, no matter the background they would strive to make it work.

@}~

Rottweiler:

if a lady is very close to her mum who is from a broken marriage, her impression of MEN would extend to the daughter and that would definitely affect her.

yea it does affect they way the person will see others especially if its a woman if she had a father who cheated on her mother openly or who beat her mother it will definately affect the way she sees other men

but if you truely love the person then you should be ready to face anything for better for worse

there is nothing bad to marry someone from a broken home if the person have a good behavior. one can stop home from breaking when there is love, trust and endurance.

I really can't understand this unnecessary fear. Do u know that almost 50% of an average young guyz/girls actually come from a broken home. Y? 'cos the family unit system has broken down in our society. 80% of these pple come out strongly, well determine to face the future and have a settled family for themselves. They are very sensitive and totally avoid 'repeating history' They r more cautious and careful in a relationship. I am not just talking theories and exposing facts around me, please that is definitely NOT an issue.

Well, my parents didn't come from a broken home, but I did. If you won't marry me because of that I have no problem with you,Infact I will be very glad if I find out you don't want to marry me. Some people from broken homes turn out to be something else, they allowed their parents problems affect them.
Those of us that miss the value of a family and still got the attention of both parents had to understand that our
parents couldn't just leave under the same roof. i think you should place more emphasis on the values your partner places on
marriage, look at it long term and know that it is till death do you apart. Marriage is being able to compromise, being understanding to a fault. I can only marry someone I can laugh at her mistakes, someone I find it hard to be angry with, and someone that has got a forgiving heart. If you don't have this, no no no way for you. I have a forgiving heart, that doesn't mean I will forgive sleeping around. I don't intend to do that, so I don't expect that too.
If you are not sure, my advice is don't say yes i do. I will shine my eyes
very well before I say yes I do, for better for worst. My goal in life is that children will grow seeing me and there mother live together till death do.
.

Maybe the first question should have been "How many people come from a broken home?"

I come from one, I think I can talk abit about it.

It all depends on the mentality of the individuals involved. Sometimes, you won't even notice that they come from a broken home, but some people have been so badly affected by their experience that they find it so difficult to relate to members of the opposite sex without recourse to their experience of their families.

So, it all depends on the individuals involved and the mentality exhibited.

As for me i will like to marry from a broken home cos im from one n i know the cause and remedies.
so i really dont fear anything

Raldsfield I clap for you Being from a broken home can affect someone either positively or negatively. You cannot therefore generalize. I grew up from a broken home BIG TIME(imagine having to see 6 women come and go!). I never knew my mother till age 21. I was determined never to marry cos all women were heart breakers or so I thought. BUT the day I witnessed my first delievery in a labour room,I saw what women go through to give birth. It was a rude awakening for me! I cried and forgave my mother in my heart,and promised to henceforth treat women with more respect, love and all. Today, am married,and my wife comes FIRST before anyone. I don't think I have been a bad husband and father-my experience from a broken home, I used as a positive influence. Quite a lot of homes get broken because the couple allow "the family" to interfere in their home. Call me wicked if you want,I don't allow any so-called family to tell me how to run my home. You try it,relationship don end be that!
The answer to the question-Yes, I would marry someone from a broken home,provided I love the person,and she loves me in return.

abuguy64, am happy for you. You are a living example of what positive people from a broken home can achieve.

Keep it up brother, what a marriage needs to work is 30% love, and 70% understanding. Love is the easy part my brother,

I am looking for someone that I can understand and that understands me. I can tell you I know 1000 ways marriage a can break.

So I know so many ways to make my marriage work. i will be a big fool if history repeats itself in my marriage.

May be i should start writting a book about it.

raldsfield ,thanks for your comments ma broda!It is not easy,but it is very possible to make the best out of any terrible experience. You have the right attitude,so just keep it up. I have thought many times of writng a book,but I sometimes feel no one will believe the stories I have! If you ever write the book,make sure I get a copy.
Marraige works ,only when both partners are committed to making it work. But most importantly, both partners should share a common belief, have open communication, and avoid interference from others(whoever they may be!)

axeprince:

Maybe the first question should have been "How many people come from a broken home?"

I come from one, I think I can talk abit about it.

ME TOO!

The funniest thing is that the lady I am getting married to is also a product of one!

It is not what happens to you that matters, it is what you make out of it.

Both of us have sat down to look at our parents' mistakes and we have RESOLVED NEVER to make such mistakes!

Love and understanding as mentioned earlier, are our guiding principles. We have had quarrels, but instead of packing it up, they have made us STRONGER!

People from broken homes are not that BAD, they never wished that will happen to them, we are just creatures of circumstances.

Infact, I am even grateful that my parents separated because I seem to have learnt a lot from all the adversities I went through and they have made me wiser!

Something that would have been impossible were they to be together!

IT IS ALL ABOUT ATTITUDE PEOPLE

I am happy alot of us guys are begining to uderstand what it takes to make a marriage last, I would say 40% understanding mixed with 40% love,spice with some amount of love and finally 20% caring attitude. I am presently dating a girl from a broken home but to tell you the truth, she is very caring, loving and understanding.

Of all the girls I have gone out with she was the one I least expected to be this special in my life, to me I will say she is one in a million and I am crazy about her too, I try to do my best to keep her happy and safe from any problems that may arise from my family, she is good with my Mum and dad, and that I think where most of the troubles comes from. But i have been able to nip that in the bud.

Not all girls from broken homes turn out to be bad and mean spouses.

good for you da saint. like i said before, that someone came form a broken home may actually make him/her a better spouse. besides people who don't come from broken homes are all great are they?

Thank you nikinash, like I always say, love can move mountains and can heal all wounds only if dosage can be administered. TRUE Love knows no failings and habours no ill feelings.

If I can afford to fix the roof, windows and doors. Definitely a fresh coat of paint will fix all the wear and tear.

If I can afford to fix the roof, windows and doors. Definitely a fresh coat of paint will fix all the wear and tear.

Idekeson:

If I can afford to fix the roof, windows and doors. Definitely a fresh coat of paint will fix all the wear and tear.

Ogbologbo! I hope ur jungle didn't mean AJ sha

@bolaoni
Of course, na AJ- African Jungle! Not Ajegunle.

yall who say u cant marry or date someone from a broken, i'd love to know the criteria yall base ur judgements and opinions on.

Idekeson:

@bolaoni
Of course, na AJ- African Jungle! Not Ajegunle.

Hmmm and where is that my guy? In the safari or in Igbo irunmole