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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Man Begs Wife To Bring Home His Sick Mom (3511 Views)
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Re: Man Begs Wife To Bring Home His Sick Mom by Acidosis(m): 8:54pm On Oct 29, 2022 |
Samantha123: Good |
Re: Man Begs Wife To Bring Home His Sick Mom by Nobody: 9:08pm On Oct 29, 2022 |
An elderly sick mother requires more than just a maid. She needs both a maid and a live in nurse, or someone who is professionally trained to look after elderly people. Acidosis: 3 Likes |
Re: Man Begs Wife To Bring Home His Sick Mom by Nobody: 9:13pm On Oct 29, 2022 |
I repeat, respect other people's cultures. If that's my son in law's family belief, then I'll respect it.. where we're from we respect each other's cultures. Acidosis: 2 Likes |
Re: Man Begs Wife To Bring Home His Sick Mom by ObiaboAdoka(m): 9:16pm On Oct 29, 2022 |
VenumX:If for ur side una d marry una mama, here in my place is a taboo. 3 Likes |
Re: Man Begs Wife To Bring Home His Sick Mom by VenumX: 9:20pm On Oct 29, 2022 |
ObiaboAdoka: it's also a taboo to care for your mum yourself abi? Ingrate. 4 Likes |
Re: Man Begs Wife To Bring Home His Sick Mom by Helpout12345: 10:07pm On Oct 29, 2022 |
Samantha123: That mentality you are describing here is not about culture. It's just a show of not being supportive to your partner. I doubt any sensible man will hear a lady talk like that about this issue during courtship and still marry such lady and vice versa. Both husband and wife should take care of their parents together as a supportive team they are meant to be. 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Man Begs Wife To Bring Home His Sick Mom by Nobody: 10:14pm On Oct 29, 2022 |
A lot of those women are happily married right now.. We can still take care of our parents while they still live in their house. And what's wrong with a mother going to live with one of her daughters Helpout12345: 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Man Begs Wife To Bring Home His Sick Mom by Helpout12345: 10:21pm On Oct 29, 2022 |
Samantha123: I don't care where the parents live or where the daughter or son take care of them from, in this discussion. I only care when you say "you will take care of your mother alone while your husband takes care of his mother alone". That's not a good mentality for marriage. That's an unsupportive wife or husband's mentality. Both you and your husband are supposed to take care of your parents together as a team. 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Man Begs Wife To Bring Home His Sick Mom by Nobody: 10:33pm On Oct 29, 2022 |
As long as the parents live in their house, then we can contribute something to make sure that they're well taken cared of.. we can even hire someone professional to help look after them when they become too old to look after themselves. But if they want to live with their kids, my in laws should go and live with their daughters because they're not my responsibility. Helpout12345: 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Man Begs Wife To Bring Home His Sick Mom by Helpout12345: 10:48pm On Oct 29, 2022 |
Samantha123: Good at the bolded. That's what matters the most. |
Re: Man Begs Wife To Bring Home His Sick Mom by Mercury12(m): 10:49pm On Oct 29, 2022 |
U see this table enh Every year people keep discussing it still no solution 2 Likes |
Re: Man Begs Wife To Bring Home His Sick Mom by Nobody: 10:50pm On Oct 29, 2022 |
I'm not that evil.. Helpout12345: 3 Likes |
Re: Man Begs Wife To Bring Home His Sick Mom by rickleye: 12:16am On Oct 30, 2022 |
finishmatter: Unless I am a doctor or a nurse why am I bringing my sick mother to the house. This has to be planned and discussed! How sick is the mother ? Is a nurse hired to look after the mum. ? Is the wife a career woman ? are there kids , does she need round the clock care . ? Is she undergoing cancer treatment ? Guys - let me tell you my typical schedule 1. Wake up 6am 2. Kids wake up 6:30 3 . Kids eat , dress out to school bus at 7:15 4. I leave house 7:30am 5. Significant O leaves house 8am. 6. Neighbor picks up kids at 3:30pmz 7. Nanny watches the kid till 6pm. 8. We both arrive 6/6:15pm. 9. Dinner at 7pm 10. Kids have swimming, karate, soccer practice 3 days of the week. Where in earth in a day do I have time to chill ? And who takes care of her when we are away ? 8 Likes |
Re: Man Begs Wife To Bring Home His Sick Mom by ObiaboAdoka(m): 5:01am On Oct 30, 2022 |
VenumX:Been my wife u r me nd i am also u. D both shall bcum one body. As my flesh nd helpmate my mum is ur mum urs is mine. U ought to take care of my mum like urs. We shouldn't argue over dis. We r Africans nd we got tradition binding us not like d whites who clamour for gender equality. |
Re: Man Begs Wife To Bring Home His Sick Mom by Acidosis(m): 7:40am On Oct 30, 2022 |
Samantha123: My only concern is that people like you hide your culture (or character) under religion and pretence. You only unveil this belief system in your marriage, especially when age is no longer on your side. |
Re: Man Begs Wife To Bring Home His Sick Mom by Nobody: 7:57am On Oct 30, 2022 |
Though I go to church, I'm not the religious type.. so, I'll never hide anything under religion, in fact, I hate it when people use religion as an excuse. And I'm an open book, when I'm dating a guy, I tell him everything. I'm also not good at pretending because it gets tiring. Acidosis: 3 Likes |
Re: Man Begs Wife To Bring Home His Sick Mom by Nobody: 8:30am On Oct 30, 2022 |
You guys don't understand what marriage is. When we get married, we make a vow that we're gonna leave our parents behind and start a new life of our own, without any family members. There's no vow that says our parents are gonna follow us to where we live and live with us after marriage. But if it needs be, then every mother should go to her daughter because I'll not be looking after someone else's mother. Acidosis: 4 Likes |
Re: Man Begs Wife To Bring Home His Sick Mom by Acidosis(m): 8:44am On Oct 30, 2022 |
Samantha123: Not every mother has a daughter. Secondly, fathers also need care so when you say you won't look after someone else's mother, you should realize that fathers also get sick and need their son's assistance. You can't stop that. Like I also mentioned, you cannot stop a man from taking in his mother or father at any point in time. You can only hide under "I will not look after her/him." Any man that has enough room in his house to accommodate his father would not really need you to do any extras. You're not a nurse, a doctor, or anything so I still do not understand your point. Some wives can't even take care of themselves without the help of a maid in the first place so leave that concern for the maid to handle. They know what to do. Are you afraid of the "taking care" part or the idea of seeing your in-laws in your home? |
Re: Man Begs Wife To Bring Home His Sick Mom by Nobody: 8:48am On Oct 30, 2022 |
Nice one Samantha123. 1 Like |
Re: Man Begs Wife To Bring Home His Sick Mom by Acidosis(m): 8:56am On Oct 30, 2022 |
Samantha123: Wait, you're a South African? I don't think my arguments would apply to a non Nigerian. Sorry. |
Re: Man Begs Wife To Bring Home His Sick Mom by Nobody: 9:05am On Oct 30, 2022 |
If she doesn't have a daughter, then it's her last born son's wife's responsibility to do so and I don't do last borns or only sons. I have no issues with the father coming to stay with us, as long as the son takes care of him.. Immidiately an elderly parent comes to stay with his or her kids, it means he or she can't properly look after him or herself anymore and he or she requires assistance maybe with bathing, walking, and even in being taken to the toilet. And most fathers are good at minding their business, unlike mothers. Acidosis: 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Man Begs Wife To Bring Home His Sick Mom by Nobody: 9:07am On Oct 30, 2022 |
Yes, I'm a South African.. Acidosis: 1 Like |
Re: Man Begs Wife To Bring Home His Sick Mom by Nobody: 9:08am On Oct 30, 2022 |
Thanks.. Jovialjune1: 1 Like |
Re: Man Begs Wife To Bring Home His Sick Mom by Acidosis(m): 9:19am On Oct 30, 2022 |
Samantha123: I should have asked earlier. I guess your argument is a common practice in your country. In Nigeria, it's not a common practice to put aged parents in old people's home when the children are very much around. The cost implication (which many can't afford) is also a concern. |
Re: Man Begs Wife To Bring Home His Sick Mom by Nobody: 9:25am On Oct 30, 2022 |
But the mothers can still go to their daughters and fathers to their sons. But anyway, our cultures are different. Acidosis: 2 Likes |
Re: Man Begs Wife To Bring Home His Sick Mom by olabrinks(f): 9:58am On Oct 30, 2022 |
Helpout12345:it is not right to bring a sick parent to the house, and expect a busy wife and mom to take care of that parent, because the burden will always fall on the woman no matter how much you try to paint it. This is how marital issues occurs. Please try to use wisdom when discussing marital issues. 5 Likes |
Re: Man Begs Wife To Bring Home His Sick Mom by BusinessPlan22: 10:04am On Oct 30, 2022 |
Samantha123: You grandmother is a witch, no wonder she's irritating. Nor be so e be everywhere Ehya... Now I see your family tree. No wonder you behave like this... E affect u small 1 Like |
Re: Man Begs Wife To Bring Home His Sick Mom by olabrinks(f): 10:08am On Oct 30, 2022 |
ObiaboAdoka:try it first and see the problems it will bring to your home. Never ever bring your mother to live in your marital home… it is very wrong! Your wife shouldn’t try the same too. They can visit, but they can’t stay. If your mother is sick, siblings should work together to get the best possible treatment for her. Wife can also put in her judgement and help. But it is wrong for a mother to pack her load into her child’s marital home, unless it’s a critical life and death situation and she has no where else to go. 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Man Begs Wife To Bring Home His Sick Mom by Nobody: 10:11am On Oct 30, 2022 |
Okay. BusinessPlan22: |
Re: Man Begs Wife To Bring Home His Sick Mom by Acidosis(m): 10:50am On Oct 30, 2022 |
Samantha123: I see. You'll need to be very tolerant on Nairaland due to cultural clashes. |
Re: Man Begs Wife To Bring Home His Sick Mom by Nobody: 11:21am On Oct 30, 2022 |
Don't worry about that. I really enjoyed our arguments anyway.. We argue and learn. Acidosis: 1 Like |
Re: Man Begs Wife To Bring Home His Sick Mom by Acidosis(m): 11:36am On Oct 30, 2022 |
Samantha123: Really? Get ready for more wahala 1 Like |
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