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I Need A Mentor For My 10 Years Old Son. - Family (2) - Nairaland

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Re: I Need A Mentor For My 10 Years Old Son. by Mindlog: 6:49pm On Nov 07, 2022
Kobojunkie:
How did the boy make it into JSS2 abeg? undecided

And with all you highlighted, why are you convinced he needs someone to advice him? He probably needs professional psychiatric help to help you, his parent better understand what the boy may be going through. undecided

From what the mother has shared so far, the slow down in his academics is just only a reflection of some unresolved deeper issues going on in his mind and him seeing a clinical psychologist for Psychological Assessment would really help him and his mother, most of the assessment will be paper based tests then talk therapy.

4 Likes

Re: I Need A Mentor For My 10 Years Old Son. by Focusmind: 7:33pm On Nov 07, 2022
ImaIma1:


I don't think there's anything wrong with a child being in a higher class based on capacity. It's better than that child being in a class that we think their age should be in while they remain unchallenged and undermaximized.

Some parents actually hold their children back from reaching their maximum capacity with the excuse that they don't want to rush the child. And this happens a lot with Nigerian parents.

My daughter was put in pry 2 at 4yrs. She just clocked 5 now. She's very studious and always pushes herself. Holding her back would not have helped her.

It is left for us to monitor these children and push them in the right direction according to their strengths and capabilities.

Noted. But I will never agree to my 4 year old child being put in primary 2. In Canada, most 5 year Olds are just starting the elementary school. There is nothing like holding back. A star will always be a star when the times comes. I still stand on my initial position on this matter

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Re: I Need A Mentor For My 10 Years Old Son. by Karleb(m): 8:44pm On Nov 07, 2022
Some of you parents want your children to become the next Elon Musk but you have suddenly forgotten that a lizard will not birth crocodile.

2 Likes

Re: I Need A Mentor For My 10 Years Old Son. by ImaIma1(f): 10:33pm On Nov 07, 2022
Focusmind:


Noted. But I will never agree to my 4 year old child being put in primary 2. In Canada, most 5 year Olds are just starting the elementary school. There is nothing like holding back. A star will always be a star when the times comes. I still stand on my initial position on this matter

That's why you and I are different. While I will explore the option of letting my child reach her maximum potential especially when she does it without being pushed, you might prefer to keep yours sheltered from that kind of growth. That's fine.

Canada is not Nigeria. Even in Canada, they have special schools for exceptional children.
A 4yr old child is reading like a 6yr old but I should keep her in primary 1 because someone thinks it is bad.

Some stars, when hidden are not given the allowance to shine. Many parents shield their children from shinning, and that is a bigger problem.

And who decides when the right time is? We the parents or the child's gift?

1 Like

Re: I Need A Mentor For My 10 Years Old Son. by GboyegaD(m): 11:16pm On Nov 07, 2022
ImaIma1:


I don't think there's anything wrong with a child being in a higher class based on capacity. It's better than that child being in a class that we think their age should be in while they remain unchallenged and undermaximized.

Some parents actually hold their children back from reaching their maximum capacity with the excuse that they don't want to rush the child. And this happens a lot with Nigerian parents.

My daughter was put in pry 2 at 4yrs. She just clocked 5 now. She's very studious and always pushes herself. Holding her back would not have helped her.

It is left for us to monitor these children and push them in the right direction according to their strengths and capabilities.

Don't you think maturity is very key? The challenge sometimes is that you meet the Nigerian kid who is termed smart however, is very shallow because the brain is not capable of having real discuss and has been forced to grow due to the pressure of the educational system that allows for imbalanced growth.

5 Likes

Re: I Need A Mentor For My 10 Years Old Son. by ImaIma1(f): 12:31am On Nov 08, 2022
GboyegaD:


Don't you think maturity is very key? The challenge sometimes is that you meet the Nigerian kid who is termed smart however, is very shallow because the brain is not capable of having real discuss and has been forced to grow due to the pressure of the educational system that allows for imbalanced growth.


Yes. That should be put into consideration. I'm actually talking about a child that relates better with kids older than her, enjoys Mr Bean animated series and older kids cartoons rather than peppa pig or paw patrol, asks questions a whole lot and is very eager to learn new things, new words. Sometimes it is exhausting.

A child that will not rest till she does her homework. And after she is done, she disturbs you to give her extra homework and even tells her teacher to give her more homework.

What do you do with a child like that, one that has a great passion for learning ehn Mr Gboyega?
Re: I Need A Mentor For My 10 Years Old Son. by Fiscus105(m): 1:19am On Nov 08, 2022
Legitmenaija:
Hello everyone, my boy has been exhibiting some characters i don't find funny at all especially towards his education. His attitude towards his studies is zero... As in its soooo discouraging and disappointing so much that 3 of his teachers have called to complain bitterly. The major facts are below:

He is 10years old, in J. S. S 2 and wishes to be a pilot in future.

1. He plays wayyy too much in school and at home. Infact everywhere.

2. He is very sluggish in doing things. He does everything slow.... I mean everything you can think of. He can use 2 hours to eat a plate of food. Same food his younger ones will consume in less than 30minutes. Is it to wash few pieces of plates? He does that and everything else sooo slowly.
Its only when i remind him of time or give him like " you have exactly 10 minutes to do this or that) that he speeds up whatever he is doing at that particular time.

He can't keep up with copying notes in class because they clean the board before he is even half way. You need to see his books... Almost empty while his classmates notes are filled up. He is always borrowing notes to copy to the extent that his classmates have stopped giving him because they are tired.

3. He doesn't like to study. Reading his books is like punishment.
I have to talk, talk and talk before he will pick up his books. Even when he does, he won't really be studying.

His grades are extremely poor.

I am scared for him and his future.

I used to remind him that he can't be a pilot by playing away his time when he can devote such time to study.

For those who would be curious to ask about his birth father... Please just assume he is not in the picture and give whatever meaningful advice you may have.

I desperately need a mentor for him. It has nothing to do with me.
I need him to improve and take his education more seriously.

There musn't be physical contact. I am totally cool with phone calls (not to me please or whatever that can work out).

Someone to speak with him, advice him, talk to him about the harsh realities of life and the future and so on

I will throw more light if anyone have questions.

My email is legithustlingbabe@gmail.com


This is a big deal to me... Not a playing matter.
The future of my first child is at stake.




Not possible to be a mentor without physical appearance for such type a person at that age.

I will advise you go for a man (preferable) around you.

Meanwhile, you can also seek the help of clinical psychologist.
Re: I Need A Mentor For My 10 Years Old Son. by sunnymighty(m): 4:09am On Nov 08, 2022
Focusmind:
10 years and in J.S 2

I don't know why parents in Nigeria push their kids to skip levels in their education. Where are we rushing them? My daughter is eight years and in primary 4 and doing very well. She must be well rounded and up to 11 or 12 before proceeding to secondary, J.S 1

My son is seven and in primary 3. He was given double promotion but I told the proprietress that he must do primary 3 instead of moving him from primary two to four.

Two of them must do primary six and be between 11 and 12 years before entering J.S.S 1. There is no rushing. Slow and steady gets you there. Nigerian parents would want their kids to be 14 years and done with secondary school.

Just get him a private school teacher and let him make friends with good pupils in your neighborhood and in the same class with him so that they study together. His age is not the age of getting a mentor. He should mingle more with his age mates and do assignments together with them.

God bless you for this, my wife wanted our daughter to skip a class simply because she is ahead of her mates in class but I insisted on due process I will show this thread to her. grin

1 Like

Re: I Need A Mentor For My 10 Years Old Son. by Nobody: 10:53am On Nov 08, 2022
I have a nephew with a similar problem.. but his is a bit too serious.

At 14, he's still struggling to read and write to a point that he can't even construct a good sentence in his home language or English.
Re: I Need A Mentor For My 10 Years Old Son. by aisha1314(f): 11:11am On Nov 08, 2022
Legitmenaija:
Hello everyone, my boy has been exhibiting some characters i don't find funny at all especially towards his education. His attitude towards his studies is zero... As in its soooo discouraging and disappointing so much that 3 of his teachers have called to complain bitterly. The major facts are below:

He is 10years old, in J. S. S 2 and wishes to be a pilot in future.

1. He plays wayyy too much in school and at home. Infact everywhere.

2. He is very sluggish in doing things. He does everything slow.... I mean everything you can think of. He can use 2 hours to eat a plate of food. Same food his younger ones will consume in less than 30minutes. Is it to wash few pieces of plates? He does that and everything else sooo slowly.
Its only when i remind him of time or give him like " you have exactly 10 minutes to do this or that) that he speeds up whatever he is doing at that particular time.

He can't keep up with copying notes in class because they clean the board before he is even half way. You need to see his books... Almost empty while his classmates notes are filled up. He is always borrowing notes to copy to the extent that his classmates have stopped giving him because they are tired.

3. He doesn't like to study. Reading his books is like punishment.
I have to talk, talk and talk before he will pick up his books. Even when he does, he won't really be studying.

His grades are extremely poor.

I am scared for him and his future.

I used to remind him that he can't be a pilot by playing away his time when he can devote such time to study.

For those who would be curious to ask about his birth father... Please just assume he is not in the picture and give whatever meaningful advice you may have.

I desperately need a mentor for him. It has nothing to do with me.
I need him to improve and take his education more seriously.

There musn't be physical contact. I am totally cool with phone calls (not to me please or whatever that can work out).

Someone to speak with him, advice him, talk to him about the harsh realities of life and the future and so on

I will throw more light if anyone have questions.

My email is legithustlingbabe@gmail.com


This is a big deal to me... Not a playing matter.
The future of my first child is at stake.


His poor grades and lazy attitude towards studies is probably because he's too young for his class. At 10 he should be in primary 5 or 6 not JS2. Maybe he finds the work too advanced and that's why he can't keep up. Since he's ten in JS2 it means he probably skipped 2 classes so his foundation may be weak. You could try getting him a lesson teacher though if he doesn't already have one.

As for the sluggishness and playfulness I don't think you need to worry too much about it. It's likely just a phase that will pass. He's still maturing so. When I was that age I was so playful that I could hardly sit in one place for up to five minutes. I was very restless in class, constantly talking and causing distractions. My parents were worried too but by the time I was 12, my attitude had changed and I was doing well in school. So don't be too worried it's just immaturity which he'll grow out of.

Just keep talking to him and encouraging him. With time he will change.

2 Likes

Re: I Need A Mentor For My 10 Years Old Son. by Kobojunkie: 11:21am On Nov 08, 2022
Samantha123:
I have a nephew with a similar problem.. but his is a bit too serious.

At 14, he's still struggling to read and write to a point that he can't even construct a good sentence in his home language or English.
Please get the boy to a professional mental health therapist who can help him asap. undecided

1 Like

Re: I Need A Mentor For My 10 Years Old Son. by MumEmdy(f): 11:50am On Nov 08, 2022
I also have a twin son that is very slow in learning, the twin sister is very intelligent always come first in the class but the boy is way too backward can't even complete letter writing without errors.

He was the reason why we kept changing their school for the third time now. We were asked to repeat him when they were about to start primary 1, it was hard for us since they are twins but we had no option, he became worse and couldn't even do what he was doing when they were in the same class the dad had to change their school and explain to the school management to promote him to the sister's class.

They are now 8years old both in primary 4, the girl is academically sound always come top of her class with awards to it. I am very worried for my son especially when is time for them to go to secondary school. Even the younger brother of 5years can read and write to some extent .

In his own case he good at games, he can fix somethings, like drawing and painting he once fix my DStv issue before his Dad came back, he is very good when it comes to domestic activities like sweeping, washing his clothes and dishes.

NOTE:. He is good at memorizing everything he being taught e.g asked him What's a noun he will memorize it for but he can't even spell or write" NOUN . "
Please What can we do in his own case
Re: I Need A Mentor For My 10 Years Old Son. by Nobody: 12:10pm On Nov 08, 2022
The issue is his mother, she may not like it because according to her, her child is just being lazy.
Kobojunkie:
Please get the boy to a professional mental health therapist who can help him asap. undecided
Re: I Need A Mentor For My 10 Years Old Son. by Kobojunkie: 12:16pm On Nov 08, 2022
MumEmdy:
In his own case he good at games, he can fix somethings, like drawing and painting he once fix my DStv issue before his Dad came back, he is very good when it comes to domestic activities like sweeping, washing his clothes and dishes.

NOTE:. He is good at memorizing everything he being taught e.g asked him What's a noun he will memorize it for but he can't even spell or write" NOUN . "
Please What can we do in his own case
Why not visit a profession mental Healthcare counselor to learn how best to help your son instead of pushing him to live up to his sister in this? undecided

Primary 4 when you admit he does not seem to fit in well, why? undecided
Re: I Need A Mentor For My 10 Years Old Son. by MumEmdy(f): 12:33pm On Nov 08, 2022
Kobojunkie:
Why not visit a profession mental Healthcare counselor to learn how best to help your son instead of pushing him to live up to his sister in this? undecided

Primary 4 when you admit he does not seem to fit in well, why? undecided

.
Re: I Need A Mentor For My 10 Years Old Son. by Mindlog: 12:57pm On Nov 08, 2022
Samantha123:
I have a nephew with a similar problem.. but his is a bit too serious.

At 14, he's still struggling to read and write to a point that he can't even construct a good sentence in his home language or English.

He has learning difficulty, probably Dyslexic and can be helped be a trained professional.

1 Like

Re: I Need A Mentor For My 10 Years Old Son. by Octopusssy(f): 1:56pm On Nov 08, 2022
Seems dyslexic
Re: I Need A Mentor For My 10 Years Old Son. by CeeJeckydivah: 4:17pm On Nov 08, 2022
Beremx:
10years JS2? Madam you are majorly the problem of your child. What is a 10years old doing in JS2? Why rushing him when he’s not fit to be in that class yet?

Lord have mercy!!


My younger brother was exactly 10 years in jss2 & was among the top 3 in his class.

He wrote waec gce in ss2 & passed all subjects but chemistry simple because he said he doesn't like the subject.

But we pressured him to do better in his waec and gues what out of 152 students in the school they wrote waec that year only him made his 9 papers complete including yoruba ( imagine delta boy cramming yoruba) grin.

He eventually finished ss3 at the age of 15 as the best grad student in his secondary school set. So what are you saying....

So age doesn't matter. Let her and bis teaches observe what he likes and start to push him towards that direction.

1 Like

Re: I Need A Mentor For My 10 Years Old Son. by Mindlog: 4:58pm On Nov 08, 2022
CeeJeckydivah:



My younger brother was exactly 10 years in jss2 & was among the top 3 in his class.

He wrote waec gce in ss2 & passed all subjects but chemistry simple because he said he doesn't like the subject.

But we pressured him to do better in his waec and gues what out of 152 students in the school they wrote waec that year only him made his 9 papers complete including yoruba ( imagine delta boy cramming yoruba) grin.

He eventually finished ss3 at the age of 15 as the best grad student in his secondary school set. So what are you saying....

So age doesn't matter. Let her and bis teaches observe what he likes and start to push him towards that direction.



Age matters, each child has his/her pace.

There is this urge among Nigerians to see their children finish secondary school by the time they are 15, that's madness! Though they are exceptions of academically gifted children who also do need extra resources to help them be grounded, socially and emotionally.

Schooling is not just about academics but also aiding in their psychosocial development. I had a talk with a 14+ year old kid who had finished secondary school earlier this year....I could easily establish the developmental gaps from a clinical perspective and the parents are already in a hurry for University.

Even in Kenya, it is very, very rare seeing a 15 year old finishing secondary school, say wetin happen because it is illegal for schools to admit any child who has not yet clocked 3 into their school. They enter Primary one at age 6-7 years old and overwhelming majority finishing secondary school at 17+ -18 yrs.

2 Likes

Re: I Need A Mentor For My 10 Years Old Son. by sisisioge: 5:22pm On Nov 08, 2022
MumEmdy:
I also have a twin son that is very slow in learning, the twin sister is very intelligent always come first in the class but the boy is way too backward can't even complete letter writing without errors.

He was the reason why we kept changing their school for the third time now. We were asked to repeat him when they were about to start primary 1, it was hard for us since they are twins but we had no option, he became worse and couldn't even do what he was doing when they were in the same class the dad had to change their school and explain to the school management to promote him to the sister's class.

They are now 8years old both in primary 4, the girl is academically sound always come top of her class with awards to it. I am very worried for my son especially when is time for them to go to secondary school. Even the younger brother of 5years can read and write to some extent .

In his own case he good at games, he can fix somethings, like drawing and painting he once fix my DStv issue before his Dad came back, he is very good when it comes to domestic activities like sweeping, washing his clothes and dishes.

NOTE:. He is good at memorizing everything he being taught e.g asked him What's a noun he will memorize it for but he can't even spell or write" NOUN . "
Please What can we do in his own case

Hmmmm....is the boy really interested in learning to read those things he crammed? While you're sourcing for help from professionals,let me share my own story. It might help.

I grew up in the north and went to one of the best schools there. In fact I was smart, quite zealous and was always coming third in my class. Fast forward to primary 5, we needed to move to SW. You wont believe that I that could speak English for Africa and remembers all that I was taught in class could not pass the entrance exam to primary 5 in SW. Summarily, I couldn't even read the questions let alone answer them. My point is, I could not read in primary 5 whereas my younger sister could read and passed her primary 4 exam with flying colours.

How was the problem fixed, they stepped me back to primary 4 and let me loose in the school library with guidance. I started reading interesting stories books and fell in love with reading. I think what stood out was that I was allowed to choose what I read....and I read all the stories with glee grin

3 Likes

Re: I Need A Mentor For My 10 Years Old Son. by Mindlog: 8:09pm On Nov 08, 2022
sisisioge:


Hmmmm....is the boy really interested in learning to read those things he crammed? While you're sourcing for help from professionals,let me share my own story. It might help.

I grew up in the north and went to one of the best schools there. In fact I was smart, quite zealous and was always coming third in my class. Fast forward to primary 5, we needed to move to SW. You wont believe that I that could speak English for Africa and remembers all that I was taught in class could not pass the entrance exam to primary 5 in SW. Summarily, I couldn't even read the questions let alone answer them. My point is, I could not read in primary 5 whereas my younger sister could read and passed her primary 4 exam with flying colours.

How was the problem fixed, they stepped me back to primary 4 and let me loose in the school library with guidance. I started reading interesting stories books and fell in love with reading. I think what stood out was that I was allowed to choose what I read....and I read all the stories with glee grin

The power of a library,I can relate to your experience around story books as I read so widely from primary 3. Then when I got into secondary school, right from J.S.S 1 I was known as a library rat because I was always seen in the school library whenever we were free in class. My school had a very rich library and being an old school owned by the Catholic Church, it had classic books shipped in from the UK and US way back from the 70s.....By the time I finished S.S.3 I had memorized the history of Colonial America, their wars, slave trade, how each State came to be .....the Monarchy, the wars between the English, Scots and the Irish etc. Rob Roy MacGregor was my favourite Scottish outlaw and earlier in the year, I went to Scotland to visit his monument.....it was surreal, from reading about him and his exploits in J.S S 2 to standing beside his monument, dreams do come true. wink

Then they had so many books by Nigerian and other African writers (I used to daydream of Zanzibar based on one of the story books cheesy)......I ended up being the library Prefect in S.S.3. cheesy

Reason I love to donate story books (outside the curriculum) to public primary schools whenever I am around, stories books have a way of helping a child float away, travel in their mind because it did same for me.

Children should be encouraged to read more story books (hard copy, not digital).

4 Likes

Re: I Need A Mentor For My 10 Years Old Son. by sisisioge: 9:00pm On Nov 08, 2022
Mindlog:


The power of a library,I can relate to your experience around story books as I read so widely from primary 3. Then when I got into secondary school, right from J.S.S 1 I was known as a library rat because I was always seen in the school library whenever we were free in class. My school had a very rich library and being an old school owned by the Catholic Church, it had classic books shipped in from the UK and US way back from the 70s.....By the time I finished S.S.3 I had memorized the history of Colonial America, their wars, slave trade, how each State came to be .....the Monarchy, the wars between the English, Scots and the Irish etc. Rob Roy MacGregor was my favourite Scottish outlaw and earlier in the year, I went to Scotland to visit his monument.....it was surreal, from reading about him and his exploits in J.S S 2 to standing beside his monument, dreams do come true. wink

Then they had so many books by Nigerian and other African writers (I used to daydream of Zanzibar based on one of the story books cheesy)......I ended up being the library Prefect in S.S.3. cheesy

Reason I love to donate story books (outside the curriculum) to public primary schools whenever I am around, stories books have a way of helping a child float away, travel in their mind because it did same for me.

Children should be encouraged to read more story books (hard copy, not digital).

Wow! You were a serious student reading history grin and nice that you're paying it forward the best you can. Honestly, parents and schools need to bring back the days of reading...the days of the love of books....the days we called books by the names of their authors....the days we eagerly awaited the next volume of a notable book. It is well....so much has changed.

1 Like

Re: I Need A Mentor For My 10 Years Old Son. by Mindlog: 9:19pm On Nov 08, 2022
sisisioge:


Wow! You were a serious student reading history grin and nice that you're paying it forward the best you can. Honestly, parents and schools need to bring back the days of reading...the days of the love of books....the days we called books by the names of their authors....the days we eagerly awaited the next volume of a notable book. It is well....so much has changed.

In as much we can't wave aside the reality of the digital world, parents need to go an extra mile to be intentional about getting their children to read outside academics, make out time for "story book time" and let the kids share what they have read in a relaxed setting.

3 Likes

Re: I Need A Mentor For My 10 Years Old Son. by ZIMDRILL(m): 10:25pm On Nov 08, 2022
Legitmenaija:
Hello everyone, my boy has been exhibiting some characters i don't find funny at all especially towards his education. His attitude towards his studies is zero... As in its soooo discouraging and disappointing so much that 3 of his teachers have called to complain bitterly. The major facts are below:

He is 10years old, in J. S. S 2 and wishes to be a pilot in future.

1. He plays wayyy too much in school and at home. Infact everywhere.

2. He is very sluggish in doing things. He does everything slow.... I mean everything you can think of. He can use 2 hours to eat a plate of food. Same food his younger ones will consume in less than 30minutes. Is it to wash few pieces of plates? He does that and everything else sooo slowly.
Its only when i remind him of time or give him like " you have exactly 10 minutes to do this or that) that he speeds up whatever he is doing at that particular time.

He can't keep up with copying notes in class because they clean the board before he is even half way. You need to see his books... Almost empty while his classmates notes are filled up. He is always borrowing notes to copy to the extent that his classmates have stopped giving him because they are tired.

3. He doesn't like to study. Reading his books is like punishment.
I have to talk, talk and talk before he will pick up his books. Even when he does, he won't really be studying.

His grades are extremely poor.

I am scared for him and his future.

I used to remind him that he can't be a pilot by playing away his time when he can devote such time to study.

For those who would be curious to ask about his birth father... Please just assume he is not in the picture and give whatever meaningful advice you may have.

I desperately need a mentor for him. It has nothing to do with me.
I need him to improve and take his education more seriously.

There musn't be physical contact. I am totally cool with phone calls (not to me please or whatever that can work out).

Someone to speak with him, advice him, talk to him about the harsh realities of life and the future and so on

I will throw more light if anyone have questions.

My email is legithustlingbabe@gmail.com


This is a big deal to me... Not a playing matter.
The future of my first child is at stake.


you got excited when he was in primary when he showed few excellents and you thought he is gifted.

From your narration he acting the way most 99% of people of his age do.

A 10 year old in secondary skol, most are discovering teenage hormes, Your own is just 10 and he should be playful

Can you explain what made you think
he is a genious to jump to high skol like that

1 Like

Re: I Need A Mentor For My 10 Years Old Son. by GboyegaD(m): 11:10pm On Nov 08, 2022
ImaIma1:


Yes. That should be put into consideration. I'm actually talking about a child that relates better with kids older than her, enjoys Mr Bean animated series and older kids cartoons rather than peppa pig or paw patrol, asks questions a whole lot and is very eager to learn new things, new words. Sometimes it is exhausting.

A child that will not rest till she does her homework. And after she is done, she disturbs you to give her extra homework and even tells her teacher to give her more homework.

What do you do with a child like that, one that has a great passion for learning ehn Mr Gboyega?

I don't know how best to explain this however, there is more to it than schoolwork. Challenge the child in other aspects and let her have a balanced growth instead of rushing classes. 4 in Primary 2 doesn't just seem right.
An alternative will be home schooling and that way, she isn't pressured by the school system and you can also ensure a balance all round.

1 Like

Re: I Need A Mentor For My 10 Years Old Son. by ImaIma1(f): 11:42pm On Nov 08, 2022
GboyegaD:


I don't know how best to explain this however, there is more to it than schoolwork. Challenge the child in other aspects and let her have a balanced growth instead of rushing classes. 4 in Primary 2 doesn't just seem right.
An alternative will be home schooling and that way, she isn't pressured by the school system and you can also ensure a balance all round.


4 in primary 2. Term started in sept. She clocked 5 in Oct.

Challenge the child in other aspects like what? A child that is very interested in academics. Should you redirect such a child? And when later the child mellows down and loses that passion to learn because of our mindset and set ways, would that be better?
Re: I Need A Mentor For My 10 Years Old Son. by GboyegaD(m): 11:52pm On Nov 08, 2022
ImaIma1:


4 in primary 2. Term started in sept. She clocked 5 in Oct.

Challenge the child in other aspects like what? A child that is very interested in academics. Should you redirect such a child? And when later the child mellows down and loses that passion to learn because of our mindset and set ways, would that be better?

Don't let us stress this, she is your daughter and you know how best to raise her.
Re: I Need A Mentor For My 10 Years Old Son. by Legitmenaija: 3:38am On Nov 09, 2022
Samantha123:
I have a nephew with a similar problem.. but his is a bit too serious.

At 14, he's still struggling to read and write to a point that he can't even construct a good sentence in his home language or English.

My boy does not have such problem thought.

He reads very well.

He is very good at spelling.

He writes very very well.

The issue i have with him is the sluggishness with with he does things. Especially the note copying from the board.

He probably needs a male figure to talk to like some one suggested.

Though there is great improvement since i started implementing all the advice given here and in my inbox.

He is now in speed writing competition with his classmates.

I told him he can do it. He only has to push himself and its working.

We will definitely get there.
Re: I Need A Mentor For My 10 Years Old Son. by Legitmenaija: 3:42am On Nov 09, 2022
aisha1314:


His poor grades and lazy attitude towards studies is probably because he's too young for his class. At 10 he should be in primary 5 or 6 not JS2. Maybe he finds the work too advanced and that's why he can't keep up. Since he's ten in JS2 it means he probably skipped 2 classes so his foundation may be weak. You could try getting him a lesson teacher though if he doesn't already have one.

As for the sluggishness and playfulness I don't think you need to worry too much about it. It's likely just a phase that will pass. He's still maturing so. When I was that age I was so playful that I could hardly sit in one place for up to five minutes. I was very restless in class, constantly talking and causing distractions. My parents were worried too but by the time I was 12, my attitude had changed and I was doing well in school. So don't be too worried it's just immaturity which he'll grow out of.

Just keep talking to him and encouraging him. With time he will change.

Thank you.


He started from pre nursery at age 2.

His father didn't allow him do nursery 3, saying it was not important.

So from Nursery 2 he entered PRY 1 and have been going like that.

He did not skip any class.
Re: I Need A Mentor For My 10 Years Old Son. by ImaIma1(f): 3:23pm On Nov 10, 2022
GboyegaD:


Don't let us stress this, she is your daughter and you know how best to raise her.


Exactly
Re: I Need A Mentor For My 10 Years Old Son. by Lucrativress(f): 5:39pm On Nov 11, 2022
Legitmenaija:


Thank you so much. Will start working on it tomorrow.

It's hard I'm sure
But there's still a remedy
Find out things he likes
You have to take him as a project you want to make work, get ready to study and scrutinize

What are the things he likes
What are the things you like about him
State them all down
What are the things you want him to start doing
Write them all down.

Next
What are the possible remedies
Don't stop at thinking of just one option.
If you have nothing forthcoming, go online.
What are his strengths, his weaknesses...
If you feel it's about being pretty unserious.

Then do this
Stop him from going to School
I know this is harsh but just do it.
Tell him you can't afford him to go to School anymore since he is not interested in School.
Sit him down and tell him it is totally fine and you understand and he wouldn't have to go to School anymore.
It would be like a joke till you make it happen.
Wait for one week to observe his reactions.
2nd week, take him to either a Tailor Shop or somewhere for him to do apprenticeship

I know this might sound crazy but find something he has Tintini passion for.
Liaise with the Owner of the Shop whoever to task him always, he has to give him things to do all the time and he has to be strict.

If the owner has a Son his age.
Tell the owner to make him come over after School everyday.
If it is that he'll bribe that one to form seriousness with book
So let him learn work
You have to observe his reactions so so well o
This can break or make him.
But I'm telling you, do this well and you might not only get a good Son but a better productive Son.

Tell the owner to send him errands, he should make him the errand Boy
The one that gets to wash everyone's plates, sweep, do stuffs.

But nothing above his power
You need to inculcate reality into that boy and make him a bit older than his age small.

Put in mind this will happen for one Term.

Whatever the outcome is, use it wisely.
Then you as his mother, read.
Read.
Tell his Boss to tell him he gives people books to read there and the Boy has to tell him wassup

It has to be life books, not School Books.

Let your son know he has no choice but to answer his Oga and you also don't have a say cause you no longer have money like you used to
Beg your son to please understand, yes do that grin

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