My fellow NL, I am dating a girl who we have knwn each other for a long time by then we were little not dating yet but jst member of the same church. as at dat time i started developing interest for her but never told her until now.

we were affected by the demolition in FCT and for a period of 6 yrs we havent seen, when i finally got her fone number from her brother and called her (the brother does not knw what we are up to) she responded, by now she already in uni studing and we charted well and wanted to see each other, She told me when her school will be going on break and that she will use the opportunity to pay me a visit in abj, which she did, when she finally came, we met and had a good time. at this point she wasnt new to me as if l jst toasted a girl and she decided to visit me. we have knwn without any relationship for the period of 9-10 yrs nw. I was suprise what i saw, she has grown, looks better than those days. l did nt waste time, beacuse she has few days to go back to school. we spend days together and I finally opend up to her that l want this relationship we have started to take us to some where (Marriage). she was happi for the proposal. reaching second day. she called me that my proposal has a challenge on the way, l askd, what kind of challenge? she said our faith. We were both the same member before the demolition, after the demolition she has changed church to another one but not worldly one. even when she came l pay her a visit to her new church. so l told her no problem church or no church cannot stop our furture she insisted i must completely join her in new church if things are gonna work out, although she told me in their church about three people took her name to the marriage committe and she told the commitee that she is not read yet. and their request was turned down.

she is a strong member of her new church. and am also a strong member of my own church. now the problem is that she is looking at the possibility of us getting married because she knwns all the procedure of my church base on marriage.

when i proposed to her she was happi and we went into another level of love. the real problem am facing here is this, after she travel back to school, she is stil using that word church (faith) to tel me she does not see the possiblity, to the extend dat we had some disagreement after settlement? our love grown higher again than before. we are not the same tribe, she is an Igbo girl why am from Calabar but the love is there. dose it mean she does not want want to marry me only wanting to make me her boyfriend, up to a point she she told me she is tired of this relationship and she want to stop it because of her faith, during our disagreement she warned if not she is going to change her fone numbers. pls what is my stand, does she love me, or she is using church to drive me or is there something i haven't found out frm her. l wanted to call it off but each time i pick up my fone i start shelding treas because this is a girl i have passion for l mean l luv her. each time we have disagrement i won't have rest till we have settled. pls help me out. what will i do?

Despite the lack of clarity in the post, i can feel your pain and desperation in the lines you have written, relationships leading into marriage is not a one man thing, you should not be the one showing too much commitments like you are the one that needs it most, its should always be a two way affair, else you would be married out of pity.

Both of u seem to have come a very long and the only stumbling block i can see between both of you is the difference in your religious belief (which is a very huge factor), making sacrifices is inevitable in any marriage situation, both of you are refusing to make sacrifices and come to a compromise and this would certainly affect the future of the marriage.

If you love her so much and you are so sure of her love i would advice you meet with her pastors and talk it over with them, if u get married in her church, after the marriage u can both attend your own church, if she refuses to accept your offer, i would advise you stay away from her for some time and see how she would react to it.