Raph3177:

Setting yourself up for disaster smh

America dey hungry the guy. Na for there the guy go fok him wife

MRAKPORS:


She is still ranting that I am insecure

The truth is we all have friends before we got married, so marriage should not eliminate ALL the people in our past.

However, you should talk with your wife to know the extend of the relationship

If its a casual classmate or friend


However if it is an ex or you noticed a funny or secrecy then its a red flag....

Such must be cut off

the chat may look stupid today...
But sometimes old school mates often become the source to salvage terrible situations when ALL chips are down..

But attaching emotional intimacy and love funfair after being married to another man or woman is a criminal LOVE

You have to question you wife without delay..
Because the ELDERLY says; ...when a handshape passes beyond the elbow it becomes a FIGHT!

cutesharon:


But I thought it was always stated not to be pokenosing into partner's phone abi na only women it applies to ��.

Wetin the poster dey find before jamming the miss you message...abeg make una no fight me oo..I just wan know

Whenever I resume this dating and relationship stuff ... she will have my password and I'd love to have hers ( if she has no skeleton to hide she shouldn't feel offended

I can only speak for myself.. I can't speak for other men

Women cheat a lot through their phones . I have it witnessed on countless occasions

MRAKPORS:


She is still ranting that I am insecure

. Do DNA testsooo Yolo. Your own yawa don burst. Once a woman is emotionally attached to another man and is defending it, you as her husband is weak and is to be pitied.

MRAKPORS:


She is still ranting that I am insecure

Typical! She is trying to gaslight you! Your wife telling another man she misses him is not acceptable at all! She has violated your trust.

Women and insincerity

Very pathetic

MRAKPORS:


She is still ranting that I am insecure

That's what they always say, but tell her that if she continues, you will start your own, fake a chat with a girl and see her adjust. Worst come worst match your words with action collect her damn phone and give her a non browsing phone

Softmirror:



LOL...SEE WHAT THIS ONE IS SAYING?! IT'S NOT MATURITY BUT STUPIDITY OF THE HIGHEST ORDER. D

IT IS VERY CLEAR THAT YOU DON'T TRUELY LOVE YOUR WIFE AND YOU ARE A VERY WEAK MAN. IS IT YOUR WIFE'S EX THAT ALSO PROVIDE FOR YOUR FAMILY THROUGH YOUR WIFE? WOMEN LOVE WEAK MEN LIKE YOU!!!

some men are useless.

Juicethekid:
it isn't proper, emotional attachment involved, don't overlook!

If this woman run into this man casually, anything could happened.women don't joke with ex.The op should be careful of sleeping with his two eyes closed. E funra oo!

spice123:

My brother, I hardly comment on issues on this simply because of wrong perception but I will share my own experience.
My wife chats with her ex from time to time which I am fully aware right from the time we started dating till we married (her ex is married now). I've equally had a WhatsApp call with the guy in one or two occasions (friendly talk). I've come to build some rapour with him.
When this guy came to Naija I and my lovely wife went together to visit him. You see eh, everything in marriage is maturity. As it is we're planning vacation to the States sponsored by this guy. I'm a PROUD SIMP but I'm still in control.
With the way you're going with full blown Alpha male attitude, you will loose your wife. Thread carefully!

If the ex don knack your wife before,
Na house boy you go go do for the "state".

Abi your wife dey always skip the sex part when she dey relate the guy matter to you?

So going to the "state" na paradise abi?

spice123:

My brother, I hardly comment on issues on this simply because of wrong perception but I will share my own experience.
My wife chats with her ex from time to time which I am fully aware right from the time we started dating till we married (her ex is married now). I've equally had a WhatsApp call with the guy in one or two occasions (friendly talk). I've come to build some rapour with him.
When this guy came to Naija I and my lovely wife went together to visit him. You see eh, everything in marriage is maturity. As it is we're planning vacation to the States sponsored by this guy. I'm a PROUD SIMP but I'm still in control.
With the way you're going with full blown Alpha male attitude, you will loose your wife. Thread carefully!

. Your wife is definitely the breadwinner of the family and you are definitely too afraid to question her or you die of hunger.

MRAKPORS:
I read my wife's chat with another guy, apparently an old school mate
In the chat, the guy said he misses my wife
And my wife said she misses him too

Please is this proper?

This made me remember asake’s song,

mo yen saare wo'le, moti bon'tan (moti bon'tan)
Aye kan lo, aye kon bo (aye kan lo, aye kon bo)
Omo kan lo, omo kan n bo (omo kan n bo)
Mr. Money, rora (Mr. Money, rora)
Abija-'Bija, mon kan ra (Abija-'Bija, mon kan ra)
Y'all better run away fi cover (y'all better run away fi cover)
Ma loh wa, if you no get insurance (ma loh wa, if you no get insurance)

Get a spare wife bruv, might come handy someday.

Take your proper position

ifihearam:
If your ex or old classmates tells you they miss you and you reply back with " miss you too' does that mean your wife should be worried?

If she had ulterior motives she would have deleted it.

It may be due to her carelessness or nonchalant attitude thinking the husband wouldn't know.Why should she be worried?

spice123:

My brother, I hardly comment on issues on this simply because of wrong perception but I will share my own experience.
My wife chats with her ex from time to time which I am fully aware right from the time we started dating till we married (her ex is married now). I've equally had a WhatsApp call with the guy in one or two occasions (friendly talk). I've come to build some rapour with him.
When this guy came to Naija I and my lovely wife went together to visit him. You see eh, everything in marriage is maturity. As it is we're planning vacation to the States sponsored by this guy. I'm a PROUD SIMP but I'm still in control.
With the way you're going with full blown Alpha male attitude, you will loose your wife. Thread carefully!

Simple man
That man have made u his cuckold

Softmirror:



LOL...SEE WHAT THIS ONE IS SAYING?! IT'S NOT MATURITY BUT STUPIDITY OF THE HIGHEST ORDER. D

IT IS VERY CLEAR THAT YOU DON'T TRUELY LOVE YOUR WIFE AND YOU ARE A VERY WEAK MAN. IS IT YOUR WIFE'S EX THAT ALSO PROVIDE FOR YOUR FAMILY THROUGH YOUR WIFE? WOMEN LOVE WEAK MEN LIKE YOU!!!

One of the reasons I like nairaland is that, there are a lots of intelligent people that one cannot outsmart. Thumbs up bro for this wonderful submission.

HardMirror:
where is lordreed sef?

I am here, whatsup?

The evidence that your wife does not really Love you is what you just discovered.

And she may have even cheated on you with another Man before this one she professed to miss.

Go for Medical Test.

temiyato:
if u dont trust ur wife, why did u marry her ? My wife hugs her colleagues right in front of me several times, and i dont go tru her messages. u shud know ur wife better. i trust mine, if u dont trust urs, seek for divorce.

Irresponsible statement. Your wife don't have respect you.

Hug in my present? As in, as a mark of respect or what?

MRAKPORS:
I read my wife's chat with another guy, apparently an old school mate
In the chat, the guy said he misses my wife
And my wife said she misses him too

Please is this proper?

Eccl 3:6 comes to mind.

Ask her how she will feel if he still have feelings for his ex, will she be pleased?

Ask her to cut off all communications with the guy. Inform her if she does and you find out, she will have only herself to blame.

I hope you are loyal and not womanizing? (Read Hebrews 13:4). God is not a Nigerian. Cheating is cheating. (Read Matthew 7:1-4)

Don't u have other women u chat with ? Don't u tell them u miss them ? Don't allow anyone to scatter ur marriage and put those children in bad condition . Don't check woman phone and have ur peace !

You touched your wife’s phone? It’s like you want to give yourself HBP.

Dey play.

TimT:
Marriage is not for the faint hearted ooo....
Infact, marriage in this 21st century is more harder than before becoz of the issue of trust brought about by the advent of internet....
Any marriage that both parties "Read each other chat in their phone" may likely lead to end of the marriage...
I'm not saying u shouldn't check each other phones, but at least try to give each other some modicum of privacy...


Arise O Compatriots..........

To hell with modicum of privacy.....!
"Marriage is a honorable in all,and the bed undefiled,but whoremonger,God will judge" Marriage is for the matured not for the boys or girls.

MRAKPORS:


She is still ranting that I am insecure

Those are harmless words I also use for my old classmates in the university with no strings attached..

I'm a non chalant, carefree , unperturbed kind of person, I don't take life seriously , I expect that you don't take those words seriously, because she might just be innocent too like my self

LordReed:


I am here, whatsup?

i wanted to have your take on the matter and that boy's comment

spice123:

My brother, I hardly comment on issues on this simply because of wrong perception but I will share my own experience.
My wife chats with her ex from time to time which I am fully aware right from the time we started dating till we married (her ex is married now). I've equally had a WhatsApp call with the guy in one or two occasions (friendly talk). I've come to build some rapour with him.
When this guy came to Naija I and my lovely wife went together to visit him. You see eh, everything in marriage is maturity. As it is we're planning vacation to the States sponsored by this guy. I'm a PROUD SIMP but I'm still in control.
With the way you're going with full blown Alpha male attitude, you will loose your wife. Thread carefully!

What you don't get is, you are already their subordinate, if you can't sponsor you family abroad, if its Abakiliki you can do, take them there, if she love and respect you, she will be contented.

The truth is, she is already sleeping with your wife, you are just too blinded by his status to recognise it.

Know this, there's always going to be someone richer more handsome, with bigger dicks, with better bed performance than you, just as there's going to be a more beautiful, a bigger ass, a thither pussy, a clearer skin than your wife, if you or her in this case is never contended, it doesn't matter how understanding you are, she will always find a reason to look outside.

It's actually from the get go, personal experience, once you see a lady that wants to compare your car to another guys car or enjoy going out with "just a former course mate" "just a friend" while you are dating, cut her off, life is not that difficult, there's always someone who will be yours and if can't find her stay the Bleep alone.

MRAKPORS:
I read my wife's chat with another guy, apparently an old school mate
In the chat, the guy said he misses my wife
And my wife said she misses him too

Please is this proper?

Unless the guy in question is her ex before I'll say it's wrong of her.

But if he was just a class mate or school mate, then there's nothing wrong... If that's the first conversations they're having for a while.


Bringing ones marital affairs to Nairaland is a recipe for disaster. There too many broken beings on here, who will sow seeds of destructions into your mind and the endgame Will be a broken marriage.

jimmychang:



Bro you think you are in control . My guy you are not.He is the one in control.Your wife even respects him more that you.Deep down i know your wife wished they were still together.

Playfully ask your wife If her ex ask her to see him and you tell her not to go who will she listen to?


If you get the answer get back to me

This one wife don use this one brain do moimoi

You say moi moi

NEWBIN:
Beat her blue black

Who loosed you from chains…Is that how you beat your wife and sisters? and probably your mother?

These are women if you want to flex muscle go beat your fellow man blue black not a woman.


Honestly an ill mannered kid is a potential problem to a man or a lady out there in the future.

XTHRONE:


That's what they always say, but tell her that if she continues, you will start your own, fake a chat with a girl and see her adjust. Worst come worst match your words with action collect her damn phone and give her a non browsing phone

So, a woman is working and buys herself the phone she likes, just like you do yourself, and then you turn round to seize the phone and give her a 'non-browsing phone.'

Something tells me this is not how marriages work.

Even if she is not working, treating your wife like a servant is not justifiable. There are other ways of resolving an issue like this without it escalating.

That said, Op must find his wife's temerity in accusing him of insecurity, rather than finding a way to reassure him, worrying.