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Toxic Parenting: Does My Mom Deserve To Be Taken Care Of After All This? - Family - Nairaland

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Toxic Parenting: Does My Mom Deserve To Be Taken Care Of After All This? by funkmrflexx(m): 8:03am On Jan 24, 2023
One thing we don't talk about in nigeria is toxic Parenting, and my family has experienced It from my mom.

So my mom had 7 kids for 4 men, Out of the 7 kids only 5 of our were of 2 fathers( the 2 eldest ones had one father, and the 3 youngest one which is where I belong had one father also)

So after giving birth to 7 of us, the men obviously remarried (my own father had 9 wives) so it was now the responsibility of my mom to look after her kids but she didn't.

None of us went to the university because my mom said she can't send any of her child to the university( I know some people will say why didn't our fathers take responsibility) out of the 4 men, 2 died when I was very young ( my own father died when I was 10 and the guy had like 30 kids so the responsibility fell on my mom)

I'll tell the story child by child of what they went through at the hands of my mom

My elder brother lost his father when he was young and had to live with his step mom, after secondary school, he really wanted to go to the university so went to my aunt and my aunt to him to my mom to take half the school fees but my mom chased them out of her house saying that she doesn't have money to send any child to school that If my aunt wants to train him that's her own problem, that she doesn't have a child that will go to school. So that aunt of mine assisted my brother, and he was also doing menial jobs until he was able to graduate. Today now he's abroad and my mom always call him to send money to her

My elder sister gave birth when she was young, my mom refused to help her with the child to the extent that she had to take the child to someone else so she could hawk and feed the child while my mom was still alive. (there are more of her own story she didn't tell me, I didn't know cus I was just a baby)

Then my immediate elder sister was frustrated by mom, she didn't pay her school fees when she was in secondary school, always chased her out of the house, sometimes she would sleep at her friend's place unfortunately because of the she got pregnant, when she gave birth, my mom threw her out of the house with the baby (she basically threw the baby, my sister was fast enough to catch the baby. That's how my sister left)

Then me. I think I was the lucky one because when I was about 7 years a friend of my mom's took me and I lived with her for the next 15 years. After secondary school I wanted to go to school but the lady said she had tried and couldn't train me. (I understood because she had really tried for me. I won't be where I am today without her) so I went to meet my mom, and she told me she doesn't have money to train any child to school that if I want to go to school I should train myself, that she doesn't have a hand in any school. So I left her and started hustling on my own. ( I got admission 3 times, but there was no one to sponsor me) I started doing laundry to make ends. I had nowhere to stay because my mom won't accept me. So I started sleeping outside. I literally slept outside for almost 2 years, I would bath outside at night, then look for one corner to sleep at night. That's how it went on. Today now I'm married and doing well for myself, my brother and I are the ones taking care of my mom today, we relocated her from the village and now she stays in the city.

Our last born is a girl, my mom would chase her out at every opportunity, burn her clothes. She would sleep outside until she was raped. My also refused to support her education for the same reasons as before. She also frustrated her until she left the house. Fast forward today my mom calls her for money all the time


Sometimes I use to wonder if my mom was really my mom, now she's in her 70's and we are the one taking care of her. My brother called me the other day and told me he was about to cut her off because she hasn't changed. And honestly I plan to do the same because she doesn't care about the well being of her children. As long as you are giving her money she doesn't care.

So does a mother like that deserve to be taken care of after all she did?

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Re: Toxic Parenting: Does My Mom Deserve To Be Taken Care Of After All This? by JovialRPiller: 8:20am On Jan 24, 2023
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land

Ephesians 6:1-3

For anyone who curses his father or his mother shall surely be put to death; he has cursed his father or his mother; his blood is upon him.

Leviticus 20:9

For God commanded, ‘Honor your father and your mother,’ and, ‘Whoever reviles father or mother must surely die.’

Matthew 15:4

I think it's clear what God has to say concerning this matter.
It will cost you next to nothing to continue taking care of her, compared to what you stand to lose if you anger your maker by abandoning your own mother. Remember, you have no duplicate out there.

1 Like

Re: Toxic Parenting: Does My Mom Deserve To Be Taken Care Of After All This? by Sheistoopretty(f): 8:24am On Jan 24, 2023
funkmrflexx:
One thing we don't talk about in nigeria is toxic Parenting, and my family has experienced It from my mom.

So my mom had 7 kids for 4 men, Out of the 7 kids only 5 of our were of 2 fathers( the 2 eldest ones had one father, and the 3 youngest one which is where I belong had one father also)

So after giving birth to 7 of us, the men obviously remarried (my own father had 9 wives) so it was now the responsibility of my mom to look after her kids but she didn't.

None of us went to the university because my mom said she can't send any of her child to the university( I know some people will say why didn't our fathers take responsibility) out of the 4 men, 2 died when I was very young ( my own father died when I was 10 and the guy had like 30 kids so the responsibility fell on my mom)

I'll tell the story child by child of what they went through at the hands of my mom

My elder brother lost his father when he was young and had to live with his step mom, after secondary school, he really wanted to go to the university so went to my aunt and my aunt to him to my mom to take half the school fees but my mom chased them out of her house saying that she doesn't have money to send any child to school that If my aunt wants to train him that's her own problem, that she doesn't have a child that will go to school. So that aunt of mine assisted my brother, and he was also doing menial jobs until he was able to graduate. Today now he's abroad and my mom always call him to send money to her

My elder sister gave birth when she was young, my mom refused to help her with the child to the extent that she had to take the child to someone else so she could hawk and feed the child while my mom was still alive. (there are more of her own story she didn't tell me, I didn't know cus I was just a baby)

Then my immediate elder sister was frustrated by mom, she didn't pay her school fees when she was in secondary school, always chased her out of the house, sometimes she would sleep at her friend's place unfortunately because of the she got pregnant, when she gave birth, my mom threw her out of the house with the baby (she basically threw the baby, my sister was fast enough to catch the baby. That's how my sister left)

Then me. I think I was the lucky one because when I was about 7 years a friend of my mom's took me and I lived with her for the next 15 years. After secondary school I wanted to go to school but the lady said she had tried and couldn't train me. (I understood because she had really tried for me. I won't be where I am today without her) so I went to meet my mom, and she told me she doesn't have money to train any child to school that if I want to go to school I should train myself, that she doesn't have a hand in any school. So I left her and started hustling on my own. ( I got admission 3 times, but there was no one to sponsor me) I started doing laundry to make ends. I had nowhere to stay because my mom won't accept me. So I started sleeping outside. I literally slept outside for almost 2 years, I would bath outside at night, then look for one corner to sleep at night. That's how it went on. Today now I'm married and doing well for myself, my brother and I are the ones taking care of my mom today, we relocated her from the village and now she stays in the city.

Our last born is a girl, my mom would chase her out at every opportunity, burn her clothes. She would sleep outside until she was raped. My also refused to support her education for the same reasons as before. She also frustrated her until she left the house. Fast forward today my mom calls her for money all the time


Sometimes I use to wonder if my mom was really my mom, now she's in her 70's and we are the one taking care of her. My brother called me the other day and told me he was about to cut her off because she hasn't changed. And honestly I plan to do the same because she doesn't care about the well being of her children. As long as you are giving her money she doesn't care.

So does a mother like that deserve to be taken care of after all she did?



I didn't bother to read all dis, I don't have such time but ur mother deserves to be taken care of no matter what had happened in the past lipsrsealed

Although some mothers are something else but nothing can ever be compared to a mother's love...

Bye

1 Like

Re: Toxic Parenting: Does My Mom Deserve To Be Taken Care Of After All This? by osazeeiyeks(m): 8:30am On Jan 24, 2023
If you can, take care of her.
Sadly we do not choose who our birth parents are.
Do it cos you are a good person and it is right in the sight of God.
That's all.

1 Like

Re: Toxic Parenting: Does My Mom Deserve To Be Taken Care Of After All This? by Nobody: 8:55am On Jan 24, 2023
funkmrflexx:
One thing we don't talk about in nigeria is toxic Parenting, and my family has experienced It from my mom.

So my mom had 7 kids for 4 men, Out of the 7 kids only 5 of our were of 2 fathers( the 2 eldest ones had one father, and the 3 youngest one which is where I belong had one father also)

So after giving birth to 7 of us, the men obviously remarried (my own father had 9 wives) so it was now the responsibility of my mom to look after her kids but she didn't.

None of us went to the university because my mom said she can't send any of her child to the university( I know some people will say why didn't our fathers take responsibility) out of the 4 men, 2 died when I was very young ( my own father died when I was 10 and the guy had like 30 kids so the responsibility fell on my mom)

I'll tell the story child by child of what they went through at the hands of my mom

My elder brother lost his father when he was young and had to live with his step mom, after secondary school, he really wanted to go to the university so went to my aunt and my aunt to him to my mom to take half the school fees but my mom chased them out of her house saying that she doesn't have money to send any child to school that If my aunt wants to train him that's her own problem, that she doesn't have a child that will go to school. So that aunt of mine assisted my brother, and he was also doing menial jobs until he was able to graduate. Today now he's abroad and my mom always call him to send money to her

My elder sister gave birth when she was young, my mom refused to help her with the child to the extent that she had to take the child to someone else so she could hawk and feed the child while my mom was still alive. (there are more of her own story she didn't tell me, I didn't know cus I was just a baby)

Then my immediate elder sister was frustrated by mom, she didn't pay her school fees when she was in secondary school, always chased her out of the house, sometimes she would sleep at her friend's place unfortunately because of the she got pregnant, when she gave birth, my mom threw her out of the house with the baby (she basically threw the baby, my sister was fast enough to catch the baby. That's how my sister left)

Then me. I think I was the lucky one because when I was about 7 years a friend of my mom's took me and I lived with her for the next 15 years. After secondary school I wanted to go to school but the lady said she had tried and couldn't train me. (I understood because she had really tried for me. I won't be where I am today without her) so I went to meet my mom, and she told me she doesn't have money to train any child to school that if I want to go to school I should train myself, that she doesn't have a hand in any school. So I left her and started hustling on my own. ( I got admission 3 times, but there was no one to sponsor me) I started doing laundry to make ends. I had nowhere to stay because my mom won't accept me. So I started sleeping outside. I literally slept outside for almost 2 years, I would bath outside at night, then look for one corner to sleep at night. That's how it went on. Today now I'm married and doing well for myself, my brother and I are the ones taking care of my mom today, we relocated her from the village and now she stays in the city.

Our last born is a girl, my mom would chase her out at every opportunity, burn her clothes. She would sleep outside until she was raped. My also refused to support her education for the same reasons as before. She also frustrated her until she left the house. Fast forward today my mom calls her for money all the time


Sometimes I use to wonder if my mom was really my mom, now she's in her 70's and we are the one taking care of her. My brother called me the other day and told me he was about to cut her off because she hasn't changed. And honestly I plan to do the same because she doesn't care about the well being of her children. As long as you are giving her money she doesn't care.

So does a mother like that deserve to be taken care of after all she did?

This is a really sad story, a deep one at that. One thing you must know is not all parents deserve to be parents. Some parents are very irresponsible, that is why developed countries have childcare programs. So if a child is not properly taken care of or the parents are irresponsible they take the child away from you.

I’m sorry but your mother failed to provide the support and care she needed to as a mother. And does not deserve to be taken care of by her children. What goes around comes around, am sure she knows she doesn’t deserve her children’s love.

5 Likes

Re: Toxic Parenting: Does My Mom Deserve To Be Taken Care Of After All This? by Divoc19(f): 9:00am On Jan 24, 2023
You as kids would have reported her to the government for her bad parenting when you were younger and she would have been in old peoples home in her old age.
We all know that Nigeria failed us embarassed

Give her whatever you can, she's still your mum no matter what
There is a reason why you came through her and why y'all had to go through those things with her.

Imagine those with good mums that can't boost of living a comfortable life today. One of you even relocated abroad, that's how you will know that it's not by your doing

1 Like

Re: Toxic Parenting: Does My Mom Deserve To Be Taken Care Of After All This? by nicerod(m): 9:11am On Jan 24, 2023
Forgive and do the little u can do for her

1 Like

Re: Toxic Parenting: Does My Mom Deserve To Be Taken Care Of After All This? by tommy589(m): 9:18am On Jan 24, 2023
You guys are kind for relocating her to the city. Selfish people don't change. So,I want you to know your mum won't change,even if it's possible to turn back the hands of time for her to start parenting afresh

I know of many ways to punish her, because she deserves it. Isolate her and deny her the opportunity to have relationship with your partners and children.

5 Likes

Re: Toxic Parenting: Does My Mom Deserve To Be Taken Care Of After All This? by Tallesty1(m): 9:36am On Jan 24, 2023
You have a valid reason to ask God why when you meet him.
You need to know the sin you committed in your past life that made him give you the kind of parents you have

1 Like

Re: Toxic Parenting: Does My Mom Deserve To Be Taken Care Of After All This? by Medianna(f): 9:39am On Jan 24, 2023
If you don't want to pay back evil with evil. Just calmly continue taking care of her.

She is already close to her grave, beside it doesn't stop her from being your mum.
And i don't think her demands from money is not as serious as you portray it cuz what will a woman in her 70s be demanding for?

Im not even sure she has ever been happy in life so don't add to her frustrations. If i were you my prayers will be that like my mum parenting habit not be generic, cuz by default you have the possibility of treating your kids the same way
Re: Toxic Parenting: Does My Mom Deserve To Be Taken Care Of After All This? by Justbehave(m): 9:44am On Jan 24, 2023
If this was a man now they will call him deadbeat father who is not supposed to be taken care of.Oga your mum is evil. Allow her to pay for sins.

3 Likes

Re: Toxic Parenting: Does My Mom Deserve To Be Taken Care Of After All This? by Medianna(f): 9:50am On Jan 24, 2023
grossintel:
This is a really sad story, a deep one at that. One thing you must know is not all parents deserve to be parents. Some parents are very irresponsible, that is why developed countries have childcare programs. So if a child is not properly taken care of or the parents are irresponsible they take the child away from you.

I’m sorry but your mother failed to provide the support and care she needed to as a mother. And does not deserve to be taken care of by her children. What goes around comes around, am sure she knows she doesn’t deserve her children’s love.
From his little story you can deduce that the woman has never been normal since from onset.
So what she need more than children in the first place was counseling, but you cannot tell a madman he is mad
It has nothing to do with karma

1 Like

Re: Toxic Parenting: Does My Mom Deserve To Be Taken Care Of After All This? by Justbehave(m): 10:00am On Jan 24, 2023
grossintel:
This is a really sad story, a deep one at that. One thing you must know is not all parents deserve to be parents. Some parents are very irresponsible, that is why developed countries have childcare programs. So if a child is not properly taken care of or the parents are irresponsible they take the child away from you.

I’m sorry but your mother failed to provide the support and care she needed to as a mother. And does not deserve to be taken care of by her children. What goes around comes around, am sure she knows she doesn’t deserve her children’s love.
That woman is evil and deserved to be paid in her own coin. If na man now,all the women here saying she should be forgiven and taking care of will term him a deadbeat Dad who must suffer.

3 Likes

Re: Toxic Parenting: Does My Mom Deserve To Be Taken Care Of After All This? by Justbehave(m): 10:01am On Jan 24, 2023
Medianna:

From his little story you can deduce that the woman has never been normal since from onset.
So what she need more than children in the first place was counseling, but you cannot tell a madman he is mad
It has nothing to do with karma
Abeg shut up your mouth. Will you say the same if it was a man involved?

3 Likes

Re: Toxic Parenting: Does My Mom Deserve To Be Taken Care Of After All This? by GoldenJAT(m): 10:07am On Jan 24, 2023
Owner MAMA na WITCH!! Personally for me! You won't reap where you didn't SOW!!
Parents or no parents! Nobody has monopoly over anything!!
She was/still is a bad woman! She is quite conscious of everything she did!! At the end of the day!! Do wetin de ur mind!
I have always been a very realistic Person! All those talks of na ur parent! NA WASH!!

5 Likes

Re: Toxic Parenting: Does My Mom Deserve To Be Taken Care Of After All This? by Justbehave(m): 10:10am On Jan 24, 2023
GoldenJAT:
Owner MAMA na WITCH!! Personally for me! You won't reap where you didn't SOW!!
Parents or no parents! Nobody has monopoly over anything!!
She was/still is a bad woman! She is quite conscious of everything she did!! At the end of the day!! Do wetin de ur mind!
I have always been a very realistic Person! All those talks of na ur parent! NA WASH!!
Thank you so much for being honest. The woman is evil and should be allowed to reap from her evil deeds. Period

3 Likes

Re: Toxic Parenting: Does My Mom Deserve To Be Taken Care Of After All This? by Olowoshako(m): 10:15am On Jan 24, 2023
Take care of her, am a muslim an sorry to say in holy quran God said d punishment of our parents is not in our hands, even if dey did d most worse tin to us in life, will must still take good care of dem. Only God can judge dem not will, she must not talk negative tin to u ppl no prophet or alfa can wash it. Pls broda continue playing ur own path.
Re: Toxic Parenting: Does My Mom Deserve To Be Taken Care Of After All This? by Medianna(f): 10:29am On Jan 24, 2023
Justbehave:
Abeg shut up your mouth. Will you say the same if it was a man involved?
I can see that you have issues too
Go and deal it first before advising another person.
Cuz the blind cannot lead the blind.
Cheers!

1 Like

Re: Toxic Parenting: Does My Mom Deserve To Be Taken Care Of After All This? by Justbehave(m): 10:49am On Jan 24, 2023
Medianna:

I can see that you have issues too
Go and deal it first before advising another person.
Cuz the blind cannot lead the blind.
Cheers!
Is this all you can come up with? All you hypochrites are being exposed gradually.

1 Like

Re: Toxic Parenting: Does My Mom Deserve To Be Taken Care Of After All This? by Medianna(f): 10:52am On Jan 24, 2023
Justbehave:
Is this all you can come up with? All you hypochrites are being exposed gradually.
You hand writing is so treble that i can't
understand anything.
Pls work on it.

1 Like

Re: Toxic Parenting: Does My Mom Deserve To Be Taken Care Of After All This? by ChybuzzDD(m): 11:01am On Jan 24, 2023
Sheistoopretty:



I didn't bother to read all dis, I don't have such time but ur mother deserves to be taken care of no matter what had happened in the past lipsrsealed

Although some mothers are something else but nothing can ever be compared to a mother's love...

Bye

Would you have said this(even without bothering to read the story) if the write up was about his father
You guys are fucking hypocrites

2 Likes

Re: Toxic Parenting: Does My Mom Deserve To Be Taken Care Of After All This? by Justbehave(m): 11:09am On Jan 24, 2023
ChybuzzDD:


Would you have said this(even without bothering to read the story) if the write up was about his father
You guys are fucking hypocrites
A man with sense. Don't mind them jareh.
Re: Toxic Parenting: Does My Mom Deserve To Be Taken Care Of After All This? by Lamanii22(f): 1:13pm On Jan 24, 2023
What kind of mom is that? She wants to reap where she did not sow…

1 Like

Re: Toxic Parenting: Does My Mom Deserve To Be Taken Care Of After All This? by Lamanii22(f): 1:16pm On Jan 24, 2023
Sheistoopretty:



I didn't bother to read all dis, I don't have such time but ur mother deserves to be taken care of no matter what had happened in the past lipsrsealed

Although some mothers are something else but nothing can ever be compared to a mother's love...

Bye
if you had read the story, you wouldn’t type this…

1 Like

Re: Toxic Parenting: Does My Mom Deserve To Be Taken Care Of After All This? by marlow1962(m): 2:39pm On Jan 24, 2023
I do not chuk mouth in family matas, anyhow u see life live it to the fullest by doing ur best.
E go better one day, na ur mom so u self gat take care of her.

1 Like

Re: Toxic Parenting: Does My Mom Deserve To Be Taken Care Of After All This? by kinah(f): 3:24pm On Jan 24, 2023
Op

Come what may
I have a story to tell too

We are not a mistake to be born into the family we are. God knows best.
I am happy you are doing well.
Who are we to judge?
Re: Toxic Parenting: Does My Mom Deserve To Be Taken Care Of After All This? by Qatar2022: 3:47pm On Jan 24, 2023
JovialRPiller:






This arrant nonsense
Re: Toxic Parenting: Does My Mom Deserve To Be Taken Care Of After All This? by Qatar2022: 3:49pm On Jan 24, 2023
Sheistoopretty:



I didn't bother to read all dis, I don't have such time but ur mother deserves to be taken care of no matter what had happened in the past lipsrsealed

Although some mothers are something else but nothing can ever be compared to a mother's love...

Bye
You lack senses, A woman all her daughter's got pregnant because she always chase them out at night, A woman that committe all this atrocities

1 Like

Re: Toxic Parenting: Does My Mom Deserve To Be Taken Care Of After All This? by Qatar2022: 3:50pm On Jan 24, 2023
Divoc19:
You as kids would have reported her to the government for her bad parenting when you were younger and she would have been in old peoples home in her old age.
We all know that Nigeria failed us embarassed

Give her whatever you can, she's still your mum no matter what
There is a reason why you came through her and why y'all had to go through those things with her.

Imagine those with good mums that can't boost of living a comfortable life today. One of you even relocated abroad, that's how you will know that it's not by your doing
Who give him such sense at that age, Before you comment ask yourself a question

1 Like

Re: Toxic Parenting: Does My Mom Deserve To Be Taken Care Of After All This? by Divoc19(f): 4:42pm On Jan 24, 2023
You may not know this but if Nigeria had not failed us. Every child would have known theirs from as early as 4 years of age.
Qatar2022:

Who give him such sense at that age, Before you comment ask yourself a question
Re: Toxic Parenting: Does My Mom Deserve To Be Taken Care Of After All This? by Qatar2022: 4:47pm On Jan 24, 2023
Divoc19:
You may not know this but if Nigeria had not failed us. Every child would have known theirs from as early as 4 years of age.
You having a good mother does not mean other have, it's not about bad government it's in the character

1 Like

Re: Toxic Parenting: Does My Mom Deserve To Be Taken Care Of After All This? by Divoc19(f): 4:49pm On Jan 24, 2023
Noted.
Qatar2022:

You having a good mother does not mean other have, it's not about bad government it's in the character

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