By Opeyemi Philip Obisesan
Writing from Surulere, Lagos

October 26 2022, the Central Bank of Nigeria announces the redesigning of the Naira note which will be circulating by December 15 2022. Then a tussle ensues between the minister of Finance, Budget and National Planning and the CBN. The latter says due process was followed and Oga at the top has approved it— which one be your own Madam Zainab?

Amidst the maelstrom, the CBN governor Godwin Emefiele reaffirms the functions of the apex bank which includes liquidation management that is germane to its monetary policy functions. He stressed that normal global practices warrant that the legal tender is redesigned every 5-8 years and Nigeria has not performed that function for over 16 years— Besides The CBN Act, 2007 section 2(b), section 18(a), and section 19(a)(b) supports its action.  OK we don hear! Plenty grammar!

CBN however said something worth noting: as of September 2022, out of the ₦3.23 trillion currency in circulation, only N500 Billion was in the banks. A mammoth ₦2.73 trillion was outside the banks’ vaults— opor— is plenty o!. They must have been swallowed by snakes and baboons, nay, they probably found their way under the beds, possibly in soakaways and abandon buildings and all the other places!

Weeks later, Emefiele would visit Aso Rock and present the president with three shades of the Naira—the two hundred Naira turned into a shade of red as if the old note was soaked in tomato ketchup, the five hundred then became a simulacrum of what the old twenty Naira note used to be before the low budget polymer and without Murtala Mohammed’s head on it and the one thousand Naira note looked like the old note was washed in Indigo blue normally for laundry—  wait, na wetin una design with billions be this? There is God o!

In the weeks that followed Emefiele metamorphosed from hero to villain with the DSS trying to arrest him for allegedly being a sponsor of terrorism and committing economic crimes to affect national security. The question on the minds of neutrals was: how can the governor of a Central Bank of a country that harbours one of every eight black people in the world be the benefactor of despicable elements as terrorists?— this one loud o! E choke!  It took the shielding of the court to shield him from landing in the underground cells of the state gallows like  Mazi.

President Buhari had always had a penchant for redesigning new notes. He did the same in April 1984 when he was the head of state just four months into his regime. —na him way be dat . He employed that tactic back then to deal with corrupt politicians under Shehu Shagari who had starched millions and only gave Nigerians two weeks to change the notes— na so dem queue to collect money that year too, no be today e start o! Today he is doing so mainly to curb vote buying, a situation where politicians would stockpile wads of cash to disburse and induce voters — dem go give your Papa Two Tasan take am collect Billions! But Daddy Buhari be calming down o. Where two elephant dey quarrel na the ground dey suffer am.

Normally when there is a currency redesign, the old note fizzles out of existence in due course as the people deposit it in the bank and the bank disburses the new one. The CBN’s initial deadline of January 31 didn’t fly then it was extended to February 10. What followed was empty ATMs with an endless queue with everything in-between but cash— wey the new notes na? shey na exercise book paper una want make we dey spend ni?

Banking halls morphed into boxing rings with disgruntled customers slamming the barriers on one another’s noggins. The scenes became boisterous and countrymen swapped Naira for Naira with POS Merchants making a kill.  Why POS Woman no go blow when Owolabi no see money and Alowonle don pay 1K to collect 5K?

What is happening—is it the CBN or the Banks? —Emefiele whom APC politicians have been calling for his head, said new notes had been disbursed to the banks and there is a cash swap policy where the unbanked in the rural areas can swap their notes for the new notes. Not even the threat from the Central Bank to the deposit banks could stop the dearth of cash from the ATMs or over-the-counter. The banks too claimed that they don’t have the new notes in their vaults— but people dey match the new notes wey we no see for owanbe party abi? Make una just dey play!

Then came the flag bearer of the APC— ululating and balabluing on the campaign trail—claiming that all the pell-mell was geared towards making him lose the election—Mad o!  APC doubled down and Nasir El-Rufai went on a media tour ranting about how the cabals who want their candidate to lose the election have taken over in Aso rock and have misled the president as though Buhari was some impressionable toddler that could easy be hoodwinked. All of a sudden APC became the defenders of the people and are suddenly concerned about their plight— see excess love o! While APC was lamenting, the opposition parties in an irony were lauding the president for the policy that they think will forestall vote buying—  as e dey sweet us, e dey pain dem!

Fast forward days later and the governors are running at full pelt to the villa to see the president. So these governors could go see the president for fear that the voters’ wrath will fall on them? Where were they when ASUU was on strike for 7 months and our youths were discombobulated and when insecurity permeated the land? Now they know their way to Aso Rock— issorit!

State governors of Zamfara, Kogi and Kaduna were probably not satisfied with the president’s response so they headed to the Supreme Court where the apex court suspended the CBN’s February 10 deadline till February 15. Now they have suspended the deadline again till February 22 2023 with states like Rivers, Sokoto, Lagos, Ogun, Katsina, Ondo and Ekiti joining the suit. With all these melodramas, the CBN had said that the new notes have found their way into the hands of the politicians again— Nothing wey Emefiele no go see for Politicians hand!

As the deadline is extended for the millionth time, we await the next twist while hoping that the suffering of the people will abate. Nigerians need to shine their eyes and vote for leaders who will have their interest at heart and shun vote buyers!  Abeg make we retire all these politicians wey don cast for this election! Let us unleash the power of our votes and chart a new course for Nigeria from February 25. It is possible…

Just dey play