I did not sleep a wink last night. I have never been so worried in all my life. The matter is such that I cannot even confide in anyone cos it is that delicate. Let me start from the beginning: I am a married woman of 37 years old. I got married four years ago. When I met my husband, he was a student lecturer at the university. It was love at first sight. I was doing my masters then.

So we got married a year later. He told me that his dream was to become a professor and said even though we get married, he wants us to wait until he has done his PHD before we start having children. I was 32 at the time, so I thought, I can wait 3 more years, we can have one or maximum of three children cos we were not planning to have more than two children.

Our marriage was ok…the only thing I battled with was constant calls from young girls trying to seduce husband but he seemed to be in control. He never let any girl pass their boundaries. And then he started his PHD but it was in Ibadan. That meant, from school sometimes, he would travel from Iwo to Ibadan almost every week…from lecturing to classes. It was tough, cos that meant I saw him less and less…..but I tired to manage.


Just before my husband finished his PHD in U.I….he was offered a job as full lecturer in U.I….we were so happy. that meant better pay and better prospects in a federal university. The plan was for us to move permanently to Ibadan following his resumption. But I needed sometime to finalize a few thing here in Iwo so, only hubby moved to Ibadan first. He did not even have a place, he was squatting with a ‘fellow’ lecturer.

Eventually, I was ready to move and told him I was ready. My husband told me to wait a little…that he did not have money to get a place for us yet….so I should be patient while he keeps squatting with his lecturer friend. I told him to let me borrow him money for our new apartment in Ibadan but he said no need…that he will settle it the next month. From month to month, he found excuses for me not to join him.

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So I asked him to allow me come visit at weekends…he said no…that its not wise to come and inconvenience someone he is squatting with by bringing his wife. But my husband also stopped coming home for weekends…two months will pass before he will visit and he will stay none day and next day ….he is in rush…saying he has to teach part time students over the weekend. This made me unhappy and I decided to surprise him one weekend.

I showed up in Ibadan and called him that I was around. He asked me to go back to Iwo, saying he was not expecting me. He hung up the phone. I could not believe my ears. So, I decided to track him down. I went to the department in U.I and started asking questions to anyone who knew him and where he stays. It was hard but eventually, someone gave me his address.


So, I traced his place and showed up in Bodija estate. For those of you who know Ibadan, Bodija is a nice estate in Ibadan. When I rang the bell of the duplex they described as where my husband was staying….a lady answered the door. I told her I was looking for Tunde my husband (not real name). She looked at me and was shocked….she said the only Tunde she knows is her partner….she called his name and behold….my own husband showed up behind her.

The shock Tunde had on his face was small compared to the one I had when I realized what was happening…my husband Tunde was living with a fellow colleague and they are in a relationship. I did not say anything….I just walked away….cos I promised myself….I will never fight over any man in my life. I left crying, lost and confused and pained and angry….Tunde kept calling my phone all through as I travelled back home….he sent many texts and said he will explain later.


When I got back home…I locked myself indoors for three days and cried. It was my neighbors that started banging on my door that made me open. They were afraid something was wrong. Cos Tunde told them to check on me since he was calling and I was not speaking. I opened the door and told them I was ok. The next weekend..Tunde showed up at home…all his explanation fell on deaf ears….the only thing I asked him was if he was sleeping with the woman…he said yes but he is sorry…that it was the devil’s work.

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Apparently the woman helped him get the job in U.I with her influence. She is a single mother and things went out of hand…they started having s3x and he has been living with her…she knows hes married but she is not looking for a husband but just a companion. Tunde told me he was getting his apartment by the end of December and we would move in together. After everything…I forgave him…he is my husband and I love him.

Tunde went back to Ibadan on Monday morning and he did not call me all through the week. I called and he did not pick up…only at night…he will say he is tired….he had a long day lecturing. I felt hurt cos I was suspecting he was still with that woman. But I did not want to accept that I may have lost my husband to a side chick yet. I was in denial.

One evening, I went out to the supermarket to get a few items and I ran into a former colleague and we exchanged pleasantries….this guy used to toast me back in the day…seeing him that day…he paid for my groceries…we chatted and he offered to drop me….on getting to my place…he kissed me….and I did not resist. I was not thinking….I have him my no and he invited me to his place the next day. The next day…I went to his place and we had s3x.

Immediately after…I regretted it. But before then, I really wanted to have s3x cos not only was I hurting from lack of care, communication from my husband…we had not had s3x in months….I was very Hot. So, I cheated on my husband. I told myself I needed to get my revenge too. That was the only time though. My husband eventually called three weeks later and told me he got a place of his own. In January this year, I moved to Ibadan to join my husband.

Moving to Ibadan made no difference….I hardly saw my husband…we were not even having s3x when we saw….he was refusing to touch me….always saying he was tired from work….he touch me once in December and he was wearing a condom. I know that my husband is still seeing that woman but I am trying to live in denial cos it hurts so much. I fell sick in February. I was treated twice for malaria yet I did not get better….I kept loosing weight and vomiting.

The doctor eventually recommended a pregnancy test …I refused to do the test at first cos I know me and hubby are not sexually active….since January till date…we have not been intimate….more than twice and those two times was with condom. The test was done and it came out positive. I am almost three months pregnant. By that calculation….I took in ….in December and in December….the only s3x I had was with that my former colleague.

That is why I have not slept a wink. All manner of thought is going through my mind….what am I going to do? Abortion would have been a nice idea but with the way hubby is behaving….looks like our marriage is heading to divorce cos if he keeps cheating….only God knows what tomorrow hold….clearly, another woman has captured my husband’s heart….cos even though I stay in Ibadan…I hardly see my husband and sometimes, he does not come home for two days.

At 37 years old….married for four years with no child….and then I get pregnant for another man after a one night stand….what if….that is God’s plan…I stopped using birth control since last year when husband finished his PHD….but husband has been too busy f*cking another woman to have time to give me belle….so imagine the irony of having a one night s3x with a stranger at my age and getting pregnant? What am I supposed to do?

Please do not judge me for cheating on my husband….I regret it….I was raised better than that but circumstances beyond my control happened. I am totally confused right now…I do not know what next to do….will husband accept this baby…what if I don’t tell him I cheated….will he know…he knows I am off my birth control cos I have been telling him I am ready for a baby ….what if this baby is what will bind me and husband…I forgave him cheating…will he not forgive me too….its just one night stand….he has been cheating for almost 8 months now? But I fear that if I tell him….then I have just driven him right into the arms of that woman…and our marriage will be over.

Please tell me what to do….

Anonymous

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SOURCE: https://livelystones.ng/true-life-story-how-a-one-night-stand-has-changed-everything-after-four-years-of-marriage/

Why are marriages having a lot of issues these days? 😢

Nice story though

Keep the baby and wait to see how things play out. I know it will either scatter or husband will accept the bastsrd (sorry to use the word. Couldn't find other name for it). At least you have something to spend your time on. Na only God fit judge the matter

IyaebeTheGreat:
Why are marriages having a lot of issues these days? 😢

Lack of love
Lack of attention and interest
Lack of happiness in marriage
Lack of communication
Lack of respect for each other
Lack of provision and inability to provide for the family

Lastly, what people wishes in marriage doesn't come through

In such situations, it is best the woman come clean with the husband, tell him the pregnancy is not his and end the marriage then walk away. The husband can continue the relationship with his colleagues.

She is already few years shy of 40 and can't gamble her chance of motherhood by going for an abortion irrespective of how the pregnancy was conceived.

😢

Keep the pregnancy… 🙏

Keep the pregnancy 💯💪💪💪💪

This is why I always say this.:

Once a spouse cheats in marriage, the marriage is over in the sight of God, they are both only holding on to a sinking ship.



This wife could have had a beautiful change of story if she had gone to God once she caught her husband, but no, she dug her ditch deeper.



She should just end the marriage and keep the baby with or without the new man's support. All the best.

frozen70:


Lack of love
Lack of attention and interest
Lack of happiness in marriage
Lack of communication
Lack of respect for each other

Lastly inability to provide for the family

Lastly, what people wishes in marriage doesn't come

The main lastly is the cares of life🙄
We have all made this life too complicated for marriage to work.
We pursue too many things and forget that you can never be jack of all trades and master of all.

There are a very few things that don't just mix well with having a good marriage.

E.g you cannot be a beautiful/handsome, rich, and a socialite with a good marriage at the same time🤣🤣🤣

Huh

Long super story to discredit marriage institution.

There is always justification for committing sin. So, my dear, divorce your husband and have that child as a single mom. You have means and wherewithal to take care of your child. Don't impose someone's child upon someone who doesn't want a child. Secondly your marriage with him is heading to doom, how can a man refuses to give his wife sex. It is a sign of cheating.

Some men Don't know how to handle infidelity, many men or women are monogamous in nature, they can't be able to eat two food at a time,

Mindlog:
In such situations, it is best the woman come clean with the husband, tell him the pregnancy is not his and end the marriage then walk away. The husband can continue the relationship with his colleagues.

She is already few years shy of 40 and can't gamble her chance of motherhood by going for an abortion irrespective of how the pregnancy was conceived.

There is no way; it is even insulting and abomination, character assassination to tell husband that he is not the owner of his wife foetus. This kind of news will make the man to abhor marriage while wicked men may sue the impregnator and the woman for crime of conduct capable of breaking laws and order,

So the best she can do is to divorce him, move back to Iwo, have her kid and to continue her life of single mom.

Lovely story. Reminds me of those days when nairaland had posters that genuinely cried out their hearts.
I can't advice you but PLEASE, don't abort.

This marriage thing is over rated walai

Imagine the man getting married to you and fucking someone’ else for over four years, while you on the other hand laid with a stranger once and got pregnant, are you even sure your husband never get pikin outside those times while you was waiting for him

frozen70:


Lack of love
Lack of attention and interest
Lack of happiness in marriage
Lack of communication
Lack of respect for each other
Lack of provision and inability to provide for the family

Lastly, what people wishes in marriage doesn't come through

Especially this @ bolded.

One partner will do things, and just assume the other partner is comfortable with it.

Regardless of the years you've known each other, comprehensive communication matters, even in things that seem so little.

Karlifate:


Especially this @ bolded.

One partner will do things, and just assume the other partner is comfortable with it.

Regardless of the years you've known each other, comprehensive communication matters, even in things that seem so little.

You are right