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Please How Do I Help My Sister? - Family - Nairaland

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How Do I Help Myself Stop Feeling Inferior / My Sister In Law Slapped Me / I Read My Sister"s Diary And She Is Planning To Commit Suicide (1) (2) (3) (4)

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Please How Do I Help My Sister? by Ladilgs: 2:43pm On Sep 17, 2011
I have been browsing this site for sometime but never had the courage to post till now.

I am staying here in Abuja with my sister and she is at her wits end. The problem? Her husband. Let me give you some background on them. My sister studied architecture, but has never really practiced, she was a house wife till she started her own business which is doing quite well and gives her both satisfaction and good returns. Her husband is a lawyer and has been in practice for a very long time and is what my friends call a big boy. They have four children the oldest a girl of 22 then a boy of 20. The youngest is 13.

Now the problem is my brother in law, he has an illness that is tearing my sister and the kids apart, no he does not beat her, I think it is worse. He is addicted to sex with women who do not consent. What he does is chase any young woman that catches his fancy, as usual with men he invites her out for a date first. He makes sure the place is chosen by him. When they get there he forcefully uses them anally. After he will start his usual strategy. First beg the girl and promise all sorts of goodies, if she will still date him (believe me some still do), if she says no then he becomes hostile and starts to threaten them with his connections. Sometimes this works sometimes not and then he does have to call in his connections who help him frustrate the cases. He spends most of his family’s money on this his sick behavior. The really surprising thing is he is only interested in educated women, at least I know of a lawyer, a doctor and a pharmacist.

What is killing my sister now is the latest incident, what happened was that they just got back from a trip abroad and found the father of a girl accompanied by some policemen screaming at the gate of their house about how my brother in law has “injured” his daughter. My brother in law was not around at the time so she had to deal with them. I arrived a few days later to find my sister crying in her room. When my brother in law finally came back he did not behave as if anything was wrong, apparently he had lured the girl to their house and attacked her in their sitting room. The “victim” was a school mate of my niece who both my niece and nephew know from school. My niece says she cannot go back to her school out of shame. My sister is tired of the whole thing, she thinks my brother in law is sick, but he says there is nothing wrong with him. She wants to leave him and not come back until he has gotten some help. I think she should just go as I don’t think he can be helped.

Please what do you think I should do to help her?
Re: Please How Do I Help My Sister? by maclatunji: 4:43pm On Sep 17, 2011
Are you male or female? I think if your sister is sick of this behaviour of her husband. She should move out of the house with her children and go to social welfare to file a complaint and seek official protection against her violent/criminal? husband.
Re: Please How Do I Help My Sister? by xxcarolxx(f): 7:03pm On Sep 17, 2011
Her Husband is not sick, he is a r.a.p.i.s.t, I would of kicked his sorry a.s.s. out long ago. Hope some-one beats the living daylights out of him, But your sister should move away from this guy,
Re: Please How Do I Help My Sister? by Outstrip(f): 7:11pm On Sep 17, 2011
He is a rap-is-t. What is his obsession with r-ap---ing them ana--ly. Is she sure he is not also having sex with men? Na wa. WHat does she want you to do for her. Now her childrens classmates all know that thier father Molests people an--ally. I am not sure anybody can do anything for her. she needs to decide what she wants. This is truly disturbing
Re: Please How Do I Help My Sister? by naijababe(f): 7:20pm On Sep 17, 2011
Outstrip:

He is a rap-is-t. What is his obsession with r-ap---ing them ana--ly. Is she sure he is not also Being Intimate with men? Na wa. WHat does she want you to do for her. Now her childrens classmates all know that thier father Desecrates people an--ally. I am not sure anybody can do anything for her. she needs to decide what she wants. This is truly disturbing

My exact thought! Maybe the only reason he r/apes women an/ally rather than young men is because of the shame it might bring to him too. Dude is a cold and calculating bastardo. Rap/ing a child his daughter's age?!
Re: Please How Do I Help My Sister? by Ladilgs: 10:18pm On Sep 17, 2011
Thank you all for your advise.I have previously told my sister that she should leave him even if it is for a time, so he will understand how seriously she takes what he has been doing. Even his siblings are fed up with his activities. They are planning to take their own action.
Re: Please How Do I Help My Sister? by xxcarolxx(f): 10:23pm On Sep 17, 2011
Leave him for a little while, maybe its just my way of thinking, but i would not be caught dead near that r.a.p.i.s.t cause i would kill him, What if he tries forcing his daughter?? He should be locked up never to mix with people again,
Re: Please How Do I Help My Sister? by Johndoe100(m): 6:35am On Sep 18, 2011
What is all the noise about? The man is enjoying himself, I actually think they should just leave him alone and stop making a mountain out of something that is small. Do they undersand how tha man will feel if he does not get the kind of bleeping he likes?
Re: Please How Do I Help My Sister? by Odunnu: 6:56am On Sep 18, 2011
John you are so so so siick!
Re: Please How Do I Help My Sister? by ifyalways(f): 10:18am On Sep 18, 2011
This is very disturbing,forceful BehindBased sex

Is the man a jailbird?has he ever forced his wife or even had anals with her?

@OP,your sis is waiting for you to be the next victim before she acts?She either help him to get help(if hes accepted hes got a problem and willing to be helped) or remove herself(and children) from the unhealthy enviroment.

I cant begin to imagine the pains the victims went through. . .anals itself is tortue,forced one wud be pure hell.

Gosh,what a beast.Your BIL.
Re: Please How Do I Help My Sister? by Smilenw(f): 12:03pm On Sep 18, 2011
Johndoe100:

What is all the noise about? The man is enjoying himself, I actually think they should just leave him alone and stop making a mountain out of something that is small. Do they undersand how tha man will feel if he does not get the kind of bleeping he likes?

sicko undecided undecided undecided
Re: Please How Do I Help My Sister? by N101: 1:35pm On Sep 18, 2011
@ Ladilgs - your sister needs to move as far away from this man as possible.  He simply has an abusive sex addiction.

Remember your sister has daughters, your nieces.  She needs to remove them from that kind of damaging behaviour.

But if she does not act now, and you all aware of his behaviour, the situation will get worse and he will take greater risks.  The fact that the  most recent assault you're aware of happened in the family home tells you he no longer cares or respects his family life.
Re: Please How Do I Help My Sister? by dealordea(m): 3:26pm On Sep 18, 2011
I think the guy is turning into gay, kinda don't know the way out to approach men, lipsrsealed lipsrsealed lipsrsealed
Re: Please How Do I Help My Sister? by Johndoe100(m): 3:49pm On Sep 18, 2011
Odunnu:

John you are so so so siick!

Look all the stuff people say to me ususally washes of me like water off the back of a duck. However you are one person a female at that, whom I had hoped would  understand me. It is therefore distressing to me to  have you say this to me. Someone must stand up for the men. Sometimes men misbehave but we must still have their back. This does not mean that we agree with the brothers action.
Re: Please How Do I Help My Sister? by Outstrip(f): 4:29pm On Sep 18, 2011
N101:

@ Ladilgs - your sister needs to move as far away from this man as possible. He simply has an abusive sex addiction.

Remember your sister has daughters, your nieces. She needs to remove them from that kind of damaging behaviour.

But if she does not act now, and you all aware of his behaviour, the situation will get worse and he will take greater risks. The fact that the most recent assault you're aware of happened in the family home tells you he no longer cares or respects his family life.

You are right. This sort of behavior actaully progresses over time. This is not just kinky sex. It is a perversion. Soon it will not just be enough To Molest them. Soon it will not just be enough to listen to them beg. Eventually it can even lead to him wanting to kill them. It does not just stop there. he does not want regular sex. He wants to cause pain. That is what he gets out of iit. He needs a psychiatrist and serious jail time
Re: Please How Do I Help My Sister? by otokx(m): 9:25pm On Sep 18, 2011
What are you doing in your sister's house? Are you not part of the problem?
Re: Please How Do I Help My Sister? by horny4u(f): 10:18pm On Sep 18, 2011
She needs to siphon the money and move her daughters out fast, he is coming for his daughters.

I agree he is SICK, very

She should divorce him fast: he is a walking murderer.
Be careful he will do it to someone who will treat his F**kup by clearing out his generation which includes her kids, cry cry

LEAVE
Re: Please How Do I Help My Sister? by N101: 11:11pm On Sep 18, 2011
Outstrip:

You are right. This sort of behavior actaully progresses over time. This is not just kinky sex. It is a perversion. Soon it will not just be enough to violation them. Soon it will not just be enough to listen to them beg. Eventually it can even lead to him wanting to kill them. It does not just stop there. he does not want regular sex. He wants to cause pain. That is what he gets out of iit. He needs a psychiatrist and serious jail time

horny4u:

She needs to siphon the money and move her daughters out fast, he is coming for his daughters.

I agree he is SICK, very

She should divorce him fast: he is a walking murderer.
Be careful he will do it to someone who will treat his F**kup by clearing out his generation which includes her kids,  cry cry

LEAVE


I'm fearful for his daughters, not because he could go for his daughter.  He's obviously not thinking of the man he's made angry and upset whose daughter/sister/girlfriend he has violated. 

He also not thinking seriously of the consequences because to date his contacts have his back covered - for now.
Re: Please How Do I Help My Sister? by Johndoe100(m): 1:18pm On Sep 19, 2011
N101:


He also not thinking seriously of the consequences because to date his contacts have his back covered.

He is a big boy!! Don't mess with them.
Re: Please How Do I Help My Sister? by 2mch(m): 4:03pm On Sep 19, 2011
Is this a joke? Superstory?

It is funny some times what some people come to ask on NL "What should i do?"

The day one of the victims will decide they want to be a molest activist and take the case to police and media houses, then your sister will be the wife of the yansh Molester. undecided.

To me, this guy is a gay man, a gay man Molester for that matter. Also, the day he doesnt see a victim and is so pressed is the day he will descend on his daughter or son. Creating more yansh rapists in Nigeria shocked shocked shocked. I dont believe this story though. Nigerian people will not just let this kind of thing happen, just like that.
Re: Please How Do I Help My Sister? by Abygul(f): 8:27am On Apr 02, 2012
Johndoe100:

He is a big boy!! Don't mess with them.

He his a big boi my foot.wat ar ‎​U̶̲̥̅̊ tolkin about sef. So ‎​U̶̲̥̅̊ tink if he mistakinly does wiv somone dat is as well connected lyk he his d person would b scared to drp charges abegy.
Stop tolkin about connection or big boy tingy here. His a big boy yet he doesn't know his way to all dis rich men's gay club. Dere ar lots he can join. Av fun nd still live his lyf .
Re: Please How Do I Help My Sister? by tasandra: 5:08pm On Apr 02, 2012
I think that guy s Sick, angry angryhe needs help.tell ur sis to take her kids,and move out......b4,he start molestin his kid ...white do agree they are sick,but blck man,no way.
Re: Please How Do I Help My Sister? by Johndoe100(m): 4:40pm On Apr 03, 2012
tasandra: I think that guy s Sick, angry angryhe needs help.tell ur sis to take her kids,and move out......b4,he start molestin his kid ...white do agree they are sick,but blck man,no way.

Actually, he is not sick. He has simply identified what he likes and taken steps to make sure he gets it. I would say that he is focused.

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