Relocating Abroad Without Your Spouse Is Not Advisable-See How Temptation Is Affecting My Marriage



I want to share my story cos I do not know what to do…my marriage is shaking….I made a mistake in the moments of loneliness and weakness. Let me start from the beginning….so I am a medical doctor. When I did my houseman ship, I fell in love with a light skinned, handsome young doctor (Dozie, not real name, he is a half cast) at the time. We were discreet at work about the affair cos the management will not allow doctors date student doctors at the time…but we were really in love at the time. It lasted for eight months until I had to go to another hospital to continue my houseman ship. Nothing made us break up, just the very busy schedules of doctors.

That was six years ago. I got married three years later. I have a daughter now. A year after my daughter was born, I relocated to Ukraine for greener pastures but then, the war broke out and I had to relocate to the UK. I have been studying for my medical school because you have to study to pass their exams here before you can practice being a doctor. The plan was for me to study, get a job and my husband and daughter will join me.

I got attached to a teaching hospital here in UK and I found out that Dozie was working at the teaching hospital. I was happy to see him cos UK can be lonely. Seeing a familiar face from home can be very comforting. Dozie told me he has a fiancé in UK with him and so I felt ok around him. I took him as a friend but working with him at the hospital started brining back memories and feelings which God knows that I have been trying to suppress.

If you live in UK, all people do here is work work or school…that is those of us who are immigrants….I miss my husband and cant wait for him to come, we talk every day but the feelings for Dozie is beginning to mess with my head. Dozie has tried to take me out severally but I have been refusing. I never wanted him to think there was any hope of us getting back together.

And then I fell ill in the thick of the cold in February. I could not go to work or school for two days. Dozie kept calling to check in on me and when it felt like I was getting weaker, he had to come see me. I was sick and vulnerable, feeling so lonely. I could not resist Dozie’s cuddling and we ended up having s3x when I was sick. I told myself that it was because I was sick and lonely that made that to happen. But when I got better, we continued.

Like I said, this place is cold and lonely and the temptation is high. Not even when the person is someone you have feelings for. Every day I speak to my husband back in Naija, I feel so guilty. But I tell myself, I don’t know what my husband is doing behind my back too. In fact, I wish he would cheat so I can feel that we are even. So, I started to tease him with some questions, I usually ask him how he is handling his desires since am not there, he will jokingly say he went to visit oloshos. We used to laugh about it.

However, since I have been with Dozie, I really want my husband to find someone to sleep with, so he can’t accuse me of cheating. That would only be fair for both of us….its not that we dont love each other but we are not together, so it can be explained. So for his birthday which was March 1st, I got this crazy idea to arrange a hook up girl for him. I actually paid for him to spend his birthday at a five star hotel with a spar and massage. I paid for a lady to spend the night with him too.

Unfortunately, this husband of mine refused the hook up. Eventually, my husband had to ask me if I was the one that arranged the hook up….I had to admit…he asked why…I said cos I know he had not had s3x since I travelled and he said and so what…that what about me….have I had s3x since? That why will I arrange commercial s3x for my husband…then it hit him….he then asked me to tell him the truth…that did something happen…he asked if I slept with anyone….I said no…but he knew I lied.

After hubby asked me several times and I said no…he went off the call and for several days, refused to take my call. He then sent me a long text to say he knows I cheated and that has been his greatest fear when I told him I was going abroad but he chose to trust me but that if I have cheated ….its either I confess or we file for divorce. I called him….since March 8th to 20th, he refused to pick my call.

On the 20th, he picked my call….by this time, I was ready to confess…I cried and confessed to him about what was happening and I told him I am sorry. He cried too…he then asked who is the guy….is he someone I know before or a stranger….I had to lie that its a stranger cos if I tell him its an ex…then it will be game over. After everything, he painfully told me that he forgives me. That was on the 20th. But things have not been the same.

When I call…he hardly respond and when he respond….he barely talks to me. When I asked him why he is barely speaking to me, he said he is still trying to process and heal. Then on the 25th, hubby sent me a text and said we should divorce, that..

https://livelystones.ng/true-life-story-relocating-abroad-without-your-spouse-is-not-advisable-see-how-temptation-is-affecting-my-marriage/

A cheat will forever remain a cheat no matter the flimsy excuses

What a story. You can now gladly marry your Dozie

because na their fellow gender do am, see as everywhere dey quiet

Story too long. I'm out.

A career wanderer is hardly a wife material in the first place. You knew very well the nature of your sexual urges and it's frequency, but you still went on career tourism oversees without your husband despite knowing how long it will take you to settle down and have him and your daughter join you. Your career and ambition came first.

Then Dozie was added to the mix. Call it fate or coincidence but I call it the perfect catalyst that unravelled your sexual indiscipline despite the matrital tag you carry around. It was only a matter of time, a road leading to an end that crescendo to adultery.

And then in guilt, you thought up a plan to have your husband eat of the same forbidden fruit ---how conveniently Eve-ie! In your stupidity you thought adultery is measured in the same scale across both genders -- ignorantly repulsive!

Real men don't forgive sexual unfaithfulness. If they have to stay, the relationship becomes irredeemably spice-less.

Now, unfortunately your bed will remain cold and lonely for a long time and your body count is about to explode like the Asian stock Market as you try to satisfy your raving urge with random strangers. Hardly a decent place for any respectable woman.

Lively Stones nor dey disappoint

You people that do long distance marriage in the name of greener pastures dey try.

postmann:
A career wanderer is hardly a wife material in the first place. You knew very well the nature of your sexual urges and it's frequency, but you still went on career tourism oversees without your husband despite knowing how long it will take you to settle down and have him and your daughter join you. Your career and ambition came first.

Then Dozie was added to the mix. Call it fate or coincidence but I call it the perfect catalyst that unravelled your sexual indiscipline despite the matrital tag you carry around. It was only a matter of time, a road leading to an end that crescendo to adultery.

And then in guilt, you thought up a plan to have your husband eat of the same forbidden fruit ---how conveniently Eve-ie! In your stupidity you thought adultery is measured in the same scale across both genders -- ignorantly repulsive!

Real men don't forgive sexual unfaithfulness. If they have to stay, the relationship becomes irredemably spice-less.

Now, unfortunately your bed will remain cold and lonely for a long time and your body count is about to explode like the Asian stock Market as you try to satisfy your raving urge with random strangers. Hardly a decent place for any respectable woman.

I like ur writing composition skill. U are a good writer with quality usage of personification

Fairbanks:

I like ur writing composition skill. U are a good writer with quality usage of personification

Thank you very much!