the funny thing is how no one had called this married man a brostitute for checking the power of his rod with other woman..

I can imagine a woman saying his exact words,

"Very worryingly for me, I decided to check myself with other men and dear readers, I achieved greater wetness and orgasm and no fail moment. That was my first shock."

The whole feminine foundation would have been destroyed with insults from same people glorifying his virility.

Oga, if you like marry 50 more women, as long as mentally, na outside food dey hungry you, your Rambo go dey weak during action time. REMOVE YOUR MIND FROM STOLEN WATERS.. LET YOUR BODY ANTICIPATE MEETING YOUR WIFE. rewire your mind. imagine all d sexual things with her face doing it not some public girl. Start making love to her b4 u see her, bring our the romantic in her, sext, send her nudes, bring her out of her conservative zone, talk raw with her, do kinky stuff so that when both of you meet, your antenna go don collect enough transmission to stand and deliver in its right environment. Most importantly, be prayerful. Not everything is clear eye. This issue, u don dey talk divorce. who told you it won't repeat itself if you marry 60 times. better add hot prayer join. ko ma lo bulaba. You have been advised.

Samantha124:
Tell her the truth and if possible, get a divorce and move on with those other ladies that you're already cheating on her with.

Set her free while she's still young and you guys don't have a child... The sooner you do it, the easier it's gonna be for her to move on.

First, a man doesn't cheat. Read your Bible if you are a Christian. No where does it say a man cheats. Two, that isn't the response for this issue. Learn to use your upper when attending to very delicate adult issues instead of using your yeye emotions.

Kobojunkie:
You already abandoned your wife so why do you care if she thinks you are impotent or not?

You already abandoned the marriage and have yourself so many other women lined up so why are you trying hard to make us believe you care a lot about about your wife? Are you waiting to get her pregnant and tied down or what? Why not tell her the truth of what you do so she can find her way at this point?

Something is not right in your brain 🧠 you will leave the topic and start attacking the character, comment on the topic and stop being an ass*ole

Let the poor woman go and go and marry those ones bugging you up and down for sex. Keep deceiving yourself and being in denial that you have erectile dysfunction which needs to be sorted for this marriage to work. I am sure you don't want her to start trying her 'tight' body with other men to see if they can keep erections with her. You can start from seeing a Dr, a urologist preferably so they can find out what the cause really is, could be related to your hypertension , avoid Viagra if you love your self

To hell with the Bible, you guys only use it when it suits you, yet you don't live any holy lives.

Where in the Bible does it states that it's okay for a man to fornicate?

I'm also an adult and you can't come here and tell me how to address issues.

delvinho:


First, a man doesn't cheat. Read your Bible if you are a Christian. No where does it say a man cheats. Two, that isn't the response for this issue. Learn to use your upper when attending to very delicate adult issues instead of using your yeye emotions.

Will be straight to the point,

My best advice is to re-date your wife.

Yes, Re-date her

By re-dating her, i you will have to do all those things that guys do when u are into a girl, let your love brew anew and in the course of an outing, if u guys felt like making love do (if u have a car probably or if u have a corner that you can use, reason been that it will help you to yearn for your wife again)
and also let me add this, try to have sex at anywhere at any time and with numerous sex positions.

But Note: When you start the re-dating thing, DONT do IT with the MINDSET of SEX or base on trying to reinvigorate your SEXUALLY attraction between your wife but base on knowng and enjoying your wife's company.

you will thank me later.

Where am I forcing it?

And how am I forcing a fully grown man to make a decision about his marriage?

Am I holding a gun to the op's head and forcing it?

Suspect33:
They don't want to have a divorce, stop forcing it. All these frustrated bitter women wanting other women to leave their husbands and be like them. Misery does love company

So it's best for him to keep cheating on his wife and probably bring baby mamas and STDs into the marriage?

Would you stay in a marriage whereby your wife is sleeping with other men because she's no longer sexually attracted to you?

Strap:
The sad truth about this is that, later on he's going to regret this decision if he carries it out.

Samantha124:
Where am I forcing it?

And how am I forcing a fully grown man to make a decision about his marriage?

Am I holding a gun to the op's head and forcing it?

Stop trying to deflect, you know what I'm talking about, you're projecting "hopelessness"

I don't know what you're talking about, so back off.

Suspect33:
Stop trying to deflect, you know what I'm talking about, you're projecting "hopelessness"

Bros let me answer you straight without mincing words.... When you love your wife, the erection will come natural to have sex, but a time will come when your beautiful wife start to resist your attempt for sex with her by giving excuses, that will force you to work on your libido mentally to calm down waiting for when she will be ready and that time you wont be ready again... your mind is already off...... As this continues, your body and mind build up resistance for her and that will result to KILLING YOUR LIBIDO for her...... try it with a stranger and you will be A HORSE but for her ZEROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO..... she has to start loving you again AND INVITING YOU FOR SEX IF NOT THATS BYE BYE....

ITS A MENTAL RESISTANCE WORK CAUSED BY NAGGING WIVES..

You should try staying together to improve your attractiveness towards her. If other women are servicing you more than your wife then there's that tendencies you loose interest in her.

Its all in your mind somewhere in your subconcious mind its been registered and that is where the problem is talk positively to yourself and let go of anxiety believe her stamina can march your own as a lion and everything will go well

Mokole2023:


You know the issue i have with this kinda posts is that: you don't rly address the problem nor help in anyways. If i had deliberately not included the "other women" part, I'm sure you would av posted differently. Unfortunately, that's what the world has become. I decided to come clean so i could get more reasonable insights even from people with similar experiences. Its not a trial my friend and people do many more worse things in their closet. Thanks anyways. FYFI, i suggested separation for 2 months to rekindle the feeling which she vehemently objected and even locked the door against me. So that's a nongo area.

Actions have consequences . It can have negative life-long effect on people around you . If you come clean or not it is between you and your creator . People do worse things is not an excuse for bad behaviour .

Let me address the issue . It is very simple . STOP sleeping around and focus on your wife . Asking for separation is you granting yourself excuse for further escapades . Work to be in the same location and bond with her .

You'll continue to battle this issue as long as you continue to compare your wife with your "alternative options"
The moment you come to terms with the fact that your wife is the only woman you're legitimately allowed to have and no other alternative options, and work on your mind in this regard, you'll be fine.

Marry another woman and continue in this your delusional sexual-mental habit, it's just a matter of time, you'll come back to this same issue because your mind is your problem - it's a psychological issue.

Get your mind to understand that there are no other options - only your wife, and you will be alright.

Remember, there is no space for adulterers like you in heaven!

All the best.

Even if you marry another woman, na the same to happen. It's in your mind.

Buy sex sweetner for her I think nk

Going to other women will worsen the situation, train your heart and body to know that this woman is the only one, stop overthinking, be eating the food that will increase your libido and use natural drug don't use tablet.
You will thank God

Mordecai:


Ignore that kobojunkie. She probably works for an NGO whose objectives are to increase divorce rates whatever the method used, whether it's in the interest of the woman or not.
Take time out and read all her posts. All she wants is that no woman should stay married to a man.

Given that she's always on this forum without a break, it means she has no other source of livelihood and this is her paid job. To induce divorce.

So listen to her at your own peril.

Allah that moniker dey turn belle

Everything about am irritates to the core

Mokole2023:
Dear Nlders,

I cant say if this problem is peculiar and I would sincerely appreciate mature comments and suggestions.

My marriage is just about a year old though I had an on/off online friendship with my now-wifey since 2017 before we decided to get serious late 2021. Our physical courtship was kinda brief - about 6 months - while we both resided in the same state but different Cities (about 3hrs apart).

I used to be very sexually active in my previous relationships - trust me when i say I'm quite good in bed - but with my now-wifey, I decided to limit the sex part cos i felt at a man's age (tho my sisters also advised same) that there r other things to look out for in a woman. So basically, we did not get too intimate during courtship. Worryingly, even the few times we did it, I rarely got to orgasm cos she couldn't match my stamina.

Fast forwards to 1 month into the marriage, I was diagnosed with High blood pressure which the doctors advised BP drugs might affect my libido but it will later regulate/normalize. Then the problems started! First, I get aroused normally with good turgidity enough to penetrate my Wifey's tight "body" but I tend to loose erection after some mins of thrusting and that's the end. Never comes back on again. Few times I was able to finish but that's not without alot of mental imagination to make me finish ontime.

Very worryingly for me, I decided to check myself with other women and dear readers, I achieved stronger turgidity and no fail moment. That was my first shock.

Summarily, my wife and I still dont live together but this situation has gone worse now. I got no sexual feelings towards her and na by force we dey manage run 1 round in weeks. Meanwhile, I get sex requests from other girls on a daily. I'm very sad about this situation especially when i look at my wife because she ought to be enjoying this thicke alone forever.

As a man, you can imagine how you'd feel when your woman feels ur impotent while other women are bugging you for your time.

Various extreme thoughts have crossed my mind and I'm seriously bothered which isn't even good for my health. Should i confess to my wife?

I await your responses, suggestions and advice.

Many thanks,

Until you see your wife with another man, that is when you will get your senses back. You boys are not ready for the commitment call marriage, why not stay single??

How would you feel if your wife decides to test if she's sexually appealing to other men?

Samantha124:
Tell her the truth and if possible, get a divorce and move on with those other ladies that you're already cheating on her with.

Set her free while she's still young and you guys don't have a child... The sooner you do it, the easier it's gonna be for her to move on.

As harsh as hou sound, this maybe the only cure to his stupidity. He is a boy not mature enough for marriage

JaskanFactor:
sexual aspect is important, but finding a partner with whom you can work as team to raise family and survive in this very harsh world is also important. And its not easy to find both of this in same woman.

That is why, if sex is the only issue, and you a getting older, maybe best to agree to work together as team to raise family, whilst both of you find other ways to satisfy your sexual needs in respectful manner to your relationship.

One of the things about growing up in this world is that things dont always work out like text book says, so you have to get creative.

There are many couples out there that work well as team to manage a family home and raise children , but for sexual relief, that is mostly done outside the home.

And another thing that will help rekindle sex life with your partner is not to share the same room, and if possible separate apartments but close. They say some distance helps to rekindle the mystery that leads to sexual attraction.

2 people living ontop of each other and hoping for increase in sexual desire are asking too much of human nature.

Trust me, there are women out there that will take your sexual life to heaven, but as life survival team partner, they will ruin your finances home etc. Its most important to find someone who can be your co pilot, then you might have to get creative about recreational sex.

Hmmm another angle
Nothing person no go see for this forum

One thing I like about this forum is sharing of ideas here is top notch

Suspect33:
No matter how you trash talk it or try to run it down, marriage is a good thing, because no man wants to marry you, you've now made it a personal assignment to trash talk marriage any chance you get.

It's a defense mechanism to convince yourself that you don't want what you can't have , or that having that thing is morally evil.

You're always here trying to run down marriage and to propagate divorces. lol

I like as you people are talking sense into that thing

If she will have sense and keep quiet

It's becoming irritating

negga4al:
Your inability to achieve erection or sustained one is purely psycological - well according to your story. This means you have to get to the root cause of this which I think is that you expect too much of your wife. Let me establish something here:

1. Marriage is not made up of perfect people. It is a combination of two guys with their imperfections, frailties, weaknesses, differences both in ideas, opinions, cultural background (maybe), family upbringing, likes, dislikes.
2. You are not to try to change your wife (one who's been formed that way many years before your met her) to be like you, you are only going meet frustration and bitterness (trust me I know).
3. Since trying to change your wife is an herculean task, what you do is help her, lift her up, cover her weakness, she is your wife!
4. Communication is key. You need to discuss how you feel with your wife, of course say it without make it her fault or that you are better than her. Lose the ego with your wife because your ego will only lead you to loathe her for something she is innocent of, which in turn will lead to a boring, dry and breakable marriage. Now, how the hell do you expect your wife to know what you are thinking if you don't share, she be winch?
5. Cheating on her will never fix your problem with her, it is just a stop gap gratification. You go out there with other women, make your dangler happy and come back to a home of disappointment, loathing and hate. Now you will repeat this cycle until your wife becomes your sister or roommate. Then you rationalise your cheating escapade, and make your wife the problem.
6. Thank God you can perform in bed. If you have discussed this with your wife (Go to no 4 above) you can have her excercise (join her to encourage her), take natural herbs, fruits and aphrodaisic foods and lead healthy life (do this with her) which in turn would increase her sexual performance. I didn't mention drugs because it only solves her problem short time.
7. Man, respect your wife by using protection - if you choose to continue your escapades.

Marriage can be beautiful if we swallow our pride, communicate, share our problems and make a conscientous effort to make it work.

Very sound advice

LLSAINT:
I think OPs, you are the problem.
First of all, welcome to the institution called marriage.
S$x starts with the mind. If you lose it, you lost it.
If other girls call and your dickkie comes alive, it simply means you have already engaged them in your mind before the very act.
Work on your mind and communicate more with your wife.
Cuddle her on bed still you sleep off.
Let the thoughts of other girls leave your mindset for you to get focused.
Her 'doughnut' is not different from the ones you fantasize.
Wetin dey sweet man for outside, easy to kill am o!

Best answer here nothing more to add. This poster said it all. Work on yourself and mindset first, then don't entertain other sexual partners. That's the only way to enjoy sex in marriage

djon78:


I like as you people are talking sense into that thing

If she will have sense and keep quiet

It's becoming irritating

no mind the werey, I know her kind. Bitter women that want to recruit happily married women into their coven of bitterness

Erastuslove:
Bros let me answer you straight without mincing words.... When you love your wife, the erection will come natural to have sex, but a time will come when your beautiful wife start to resist your attempt for sex with her by giving excuses, that will force you to work on your libido mentally to calm down waiting for when she will be ready and that time you wont be ready again... your mind is already off...... As this continues, your body and mind build up resistance for her and that will result to KILLING YOUR LIBIDO for her...... try it with a stranger and you will be A HORSE but for her ZEROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO..... she has to start loving you again AND INVITING YOU FOR SEX IF NOT THATS BYE BYE....

ITS A MENTAL RESISTANCE WORK CAUSED BY NAGGING WIVES..

You see nagging wife issue

Your woman go nag you sotey you begin to detest her

And from what I am seeing and most of people say. It affects the mind!!

The human mind is very powerful

Mokole2023:


Hmmmm thats worrisome! My wife's pretty, fair n endowed. Why is there no signal from my brain for arousal?

Maybe your arousal is based on your sexual fantasy which turns u on.
No fantasy no arousal

Mokole2023:
Dear Nlders,

I cant say if this problem is peculiar and I would sincerely appreciate mature comments and suggestions.

My marriage is just about a year old though I had an on/off online friendship with my now-wifey since 2017 before we decided to get serious late 2021. Our physical courtship was kinda brief - about 6 months - while we both resided in the same state but different Cities (about 3hrs apart).

I used to be very sexually active in my previous relationships - trust me when i say I'm quite good in bed - but with my now-wifey, I decided to limit the sex part cos i felt at a man's age (tho my sisters also advised same) that there r other things to look out for in a woman. So basically, we did not get too intimate during courtship. Worryingly, even the few times we did it, I rarely got to orgasm cos she couldn't match my stamina.

Fast forwards to 1 month into the marriage, I was diagnosed with High blood pressure which the doctors advised BP drugs might affect my libido but it will later regulate/normalize. Then the problems started! First, I get aroused normally with good turgidity enough to penetrate my Wifey's tight "body" but I tend to loose erection after some mins of thrusting and that's the end. Never comes back on again. Few times I was able to finish but that's not without alot of mental imagination to make me finish ontime.

Very worryingly for me, I decided to check myself with other women and dear readers, I achieved stronger turgidity and no fail moment. That was my first shock.

Summarily, my wife and I still dont live together but this situation has gone worse now. I got no sexual feelings towards her and na by force we dey manage run 1 round in weeks. Meanwhile, I get sex requests from other girls on a daily. I'm very sad about this situation especially when i look at my wife because she ought to be enjoying this thicke alone forever.

As a man, you can imagine how you'd feel when your woman feels ur impotent while other women are bugging you for your time.

Various extreme thoughts have crossed my mind and I'm seriously bothered which isn't even good for my health. Should i confess to my wife?

I await your responses, suggestions and
advice.

Many thanks,

You are very ok since up have confirmed that with other ladies you can perform.
Your wife need to be more romantic, dress sexy when shes with you.
she should put on some ashawo vibes when shes with you since thats what makes you perform.
most times what we see is what arouses us.
You can't be attracted to your wife if she keep putting on wrapper na.😁
Have a discussion with her and tell her what you want.
once in a while take her to a hotel for short time believe me,the feelings will come back

Mokole2023:
■ Tell her bawo? What will that do to help her? Hopefully it doesn't have to get to that. Tho I alrdy told my family what's up.

Oh, I forgot to include professional marriage counseling should she, after hearing the whole truth decide to stay in the marriage.

Please, look closely at what you have now. It isn't a marriage at all but a sham you are even seeking to power using such things as viagra and aphrodisiacs none of them able to overcome the human mind. Which kain marriage be that? And all this only a year in. E never dey tire already, I mean all this stress?

You have to address the root cause. I have noticed that women are better at handling stress and certain crises than men.
When I say root cause, not of the sexual inadequacies but of the high blood pressure. Because it's that same issue that is translating to your sex life. It's not every man that will lose millions this minute and have the urge for sex the next.

Some people are emotionally mature enough to separate various aspects of their lives but others can't. So failure in one aspect, or perceived failure in one aspect affects other areas of their lives.

I wouldn't say you not being sexually attracted to her or not loving her is a problem because from your story, you are sleeping around. So it's not like you are that kind of man that needs to love a woman or have a certain attraction for her before having sex with her.

My advice, sort the root cause or try to separate it from your sex life with your wife. And you need to stop having sex with those ladies because they will only make things worse especially if you have a conscience. Because I don't know how your stuff will have the decency of going up after cheating on a woman you swore before God and man to honor and respect. A woman that has done nothing to you but love you. A decent woman. You need total reconfiguration. Your mindset, your values and morals. There's a gap. You don't in your attempt to solve a problem, add to it and hurt someone in the process. Except of course, you have chosen to be like these married randy men that have no regards nor respect for that institution.