like the white wedding duh! its only a poor (bride's) family that will leave the groom to do the white wedding alone

willywilly:

My uncle married 4 wives and all are yorubas,
he spent (250)naira as dowry for his 1st marriage, 2nd wife he paid (300)naira, 3rd wife he got her as a gift after he bought a land from a Yoruba man, 4th wife he paid nothing, only bought AGBADA and BuBA for the father and mother. for all his four wives he spent less than (1200)naira. i love that ,a very good bargain

Oh yeah Is your uncle a muslim?? How come he has such a large appetite for women?

As for the story of a man dashing him a wife, because he bought the guy's piece of land. . . . .hehehe. . . .that story sounds like a fairytale. Are you sure that land speculator wasn't selling stolen property?

And finally, the parents of the 4th wife, that accepted only agbada (how come there was no sokoto) and buba (what about the iro) in exchange for their daughter must be either aliens, or ghosts. Were they walking around naked, before your uncle came to their rescue? Was that why they parted with their daughter in exchange for[i] agbada [/i] and buba? Maybe if you tell us what part of the South-west they hail from, one might find it easier to swallow your story. Hehehe. . . .nothing wey person no go see for here!

laudate that was funny.
I'm posting it on the "funny thread"

abolish dowry, abolish culture! but i think we should encourage modesty

To abolish dowry means  to abolish culture! but i think we should encourage modesty

i really think govt shld come in 2 dis matter.
igbo culture is barbaric 2 me.
how can a group of people start demanding 4 such out rageous dowries n when u bring what u have, they refuse.Image my sister's wedding ,sincerely, i felt like strangling those umunna. i even learnt mothers 2 insist on, even what her own husband did not bring n cannot afford 4 her.
at a point i told my sister if dy keep insist inspite of all these moni spent, once it is 4pm, crry ur box n follow ur husband home abi u no wan marry? na dem go marry u? dy know dy dare not try it with mi lailai.

SOLUTION:
Go 2 d registry 1st! n when u come 2 pay d dowry n dem shakara u , tell dem u are married legally.Even sef if u are from where dowries are high, make sure say u are HEAVILY PREGNANT B4 U GO 2 DEM .abi dem go commot d pickin 4 ur belle?
4 mi , if cunny man die, na cuuny man go bury am.
DY DONT EVEN CONSIDER D ECONOMY, WHAT D GIRL WILL EAT WHEN SHE GETS DR, OR D FACT DT THIS COUPLE ARE STARTING A NEW LIFE N NEED ALL D FINANCIAL SUPPORT N ASSISTANT N, DY CAN.
Funny enough they wont even present any gift 2 d couple .
Make dem try mi n see if GOD no receive entourage 4 heaven make dem know.

its not everywhere in igboland please.lets not generalize it.methinks a gal has the final and last say in dowry wahala.if a girl talks to her parents and the parents inturn talk to the umunna,i think there is little or nothing the umunna can do.who no like make him no come.

ifyalways:

its not everywhere in igboland please.lets not generalize it.methinks a girl has the final and last say in dowry wahala.if a girl talks to her parents and the parents inturn talk to the umunna,i think there is little or nothing the umunna can do.who no like make him no come.

The thing is that most families are not strong enough to stand up to the umunna and umuada.
When they insisted my husband them bring bottles of schnapps and whisky my father said over his dead body.
He did not drink so his guests would not drink and he won.
People should start challenging things so that this greed goes away.
They may threaten not to show up and all that,so be it.
The amount is negotiable

Babyosisi just can't forego that name, anyway @Nwando

Would you rather have the reverse: the girl pays the man to be married?

A friend of mine from India is still paying her husband/his family for her marriage to him 5 years ago.

How can a man marry a woman without paying his bride price?

@THIEFOFHEARTS

nne biko izuru go mkpuru obi , am ready ikwu uwo isi gi

@THIEFOFHEARTS

nne biko izuru go mkpuru obi m , am ready ikwu ugwo isi gi , biko o

abeg make unna no visit mbaise oooo,those people go finish you with dowry ,make unna run for cover oooooo

My understanding is that dowries are tokens, just to fulfil cultural practices.
Surely, no one would want to burden anyone with dowries such that he is then handicapped in taking care of his wife

Dowry is a list of items the parents and family of the bride give to the bride to start a new married life with her hubby.

Bride price is the amount of money paid by the groom to the bride's father to 'compensate' for the 'loss' of their daughter.

At first, I was completely against it, but in all matter of fairness, I dont think it should be abolished. When you look at it this way, it's almost equal on both sides, since the parents are contributing to the marriage ceremony (aka feeding the guests, and buying up some items for their daughter), while the groom is responsible for providing money to the bride.

Ndipe:

Dowry is a list of items the parents and family of the bride give to the bride to start a new married life with her hubby.

Bride price is the amount of money paid by the groom to the bride's father to 'compensate' for the 'loss' of their daughter.

At first, I was completely against it, but in all matter of fairness, I don't think it should be abolished. When you look at it this way, it's almost equal on both sides, since the parents are contributing to the marriage ceremony (aka feeding the guests, and buying up some items for their daughter), while the groom is responsible for providing money to the bride.

Are U talking about the Igba Nkwu. Cos I have seen a few ceremonies where Kata Kata burst The bride's side of the family kept on accusing the bridegroom that he did not bring enough dough for the ceremony

Anyways, about the bride's side of the family contributing to the Church wedding expenses, I do rather they did not in my case. That way I can do it the way I had always wanted to do it,,, quiet, quick , private and low keyed. I dont want the family inviting the whole village

which one is igba nkwu?

Igba nkwu is the traditional wedding.

Dowry should not be abolish please oooooo that is the only symbol/respect and our little pride that we women have it shows we are traditionally and culturally married before the man will say aluru gi alu also let it not look as if we just pack our boxes and run to his house but the cyfolding part of traditional marriage is what I don't like

I see dowry paying as selling one's daughter
If at all you must collect dowry i think it should be modest
My cousin(a yoruba) got married to an Igbo guy last month, when it wz time for the dowry paying thing , the groom's family brought money(dollars) to pay my cousin's dowry but to their dismay my uncle jokingly but respectfully rejected it saying he is not selling his daughter . Ewoo!!! you need to see the looks on their faces as in they were so surprised.

Who's umuada? Where did they come from?

Umuada, in Igbo culture, is a group made up of all the daughters of a clan both married and unmarried.

Thanks.
What's their (umuada) business in a couple's marriage ceremony? What's their duty? Should/Do the couple know them? Must they be invited?

stillwater:

Thanks.
What's their (umuada) business in a couple's marriage ceremony? What's their duty? Should/Do the couple know them? Must they be invited?

Know them is an understatement in some parts of Igboland where Umuada is very powerful. The correct phrase is Obey them.

For an understanding of Umuada, go here: Umuada

Thanks again.

But I don't see why people I don't know should make demands in my own wedding.

stillwater:

Thanks again.

But I don't see why people I don't know should make demands in my own wedding.

e be like say you wan drink gas water!! People need to learn more about their people other than language!! I pity you for umuada side if you open your mouth where they are! they will make life seriously miserable for your wedding.

People you don't know indeed!!! You are Nwada for your Info!! and together with your sisters, umuada!!

All this talk that abolishing dowry=destroying culture is ludiculous! Does this mean that culture is static, that it doesn't evolve?

At first I was against the payment of bride-price, but now, I am beginning to lean towards it. You know why? It places the man in a position of authority as the head of the family, and you know, stuff exchanged given by the parents of the bride like cooking pots, plates, and all that, signifies that the position of the woman in the family. So, I lean towards payment of bride price. Note please, I had started a previous topic about my erstwhile stance against payment of bride price.

sounds more like slave master to me

buying his slave from the auction aka "family"

It's not auction, it's only greedy families that make it seem like an auction. It's not as if the bride is moving to her matrimonial home empty handed. In addition to her family members feeding the guests, they also send her off with various household items. It's tradition, lets embrace the good ones like bride price and forsake the bad ones like pouring libation.

CHINEKE GAWD!!

Abolish gini?? Onye ne eweghi ego, ada eri ofe owerri.

If you no get money, no marry. Abolish what?!! When I don put price tag on my three sisters finish!!

Ndipe:

It's not auction, it's only greedy families that make it seem like an auction. It's not as if the bride is moving to her matrimonial home empty handed. In addition to her family members feeding the guests, they also send her off with various household items.

Dont see the diffrence between this and weddings in other places. Even in mordern weddings majority of gifts are household, there's nothing unique or special about this "tradition"