debosky:

You you are saying you agree that God can give you someone you don't love? Why wouldn't God let you fall in love with the person first?

Does that mean you agree or don't agree with the question?

Please understand that when God leads or suggests a person to you for marriage,you are entirely at liberty to agree or dis-agree,it is not a forceful proposition that leaves you without a 'choice'.

Yes,God may lead you to a person you do not like judging from your natural senses but you are at liberty to say 'i agree' or 'i do not agree',God does not force people to marry who they do not want to marry.

But come to think of it Guys. Most people are lockd up under this belief and are suffering under it ( knowing that their born again spouse is worst than moral unbeliever) and they are Good believers. The only thing they can't do is to Divoice.

Whatever that comes from God is for a purpose, sometimes to teach us that through him all things are possible. Even in the bible a man married a prostitute and God uses that to show Israel's disobedience towards him. so when he does that; it does not mean he hate you.

freecocoa:

How can God lead me to marry someone I don't love when he said “I know the thoughts I have for you,thoughts of good and not of evil,to give you an expected end”now whatever I desire that's what he'll give to me so he also said, though at times what we want may not be best for us but if he is giving me someone then he already knows that I'll love the person cos I'm sure he doesn't support loveless unions.

Go will ONLY suggest or lead you but it is entirely up to you to CHOOSE,there is no force involved at all.
Expected end is not as you may envision because the same  bible says "there is a way that seems right unto a person but the end is destructive",again it says "my people are destroyed for lack of knowledge",now you tell me if you know better than the one who created you.

chibest5:

Whatever that comes from God is for a purpose, sometimes to teach us that through him all things are possible. Even in the bible a man married a LovePeddler and God uses that to show Israel's disobedience towards him. so when he does that; it does not mean he hate you.

But if you know that, why can you still change the tides of event before you suffer it or before God use you to teach other people a lesson.

Simply Say. My dear father and God I dont want in Jesus name

chibest5:

Whatever that comes from God is for a purpose, sometimes to teach us that through him all things are possible. Even in the bible a man married a LovePeddler and God uses that to show Israel's disobedience towards him. so when he does that; it does not mean he hate you.

You shoukd ask God for what purpose, God, bad or ugly.

You can marry who you didnt love. We define love wrongly. Love is action , love is a choice. Not a feeling. The feeling comes aftr the choice. What feeling did Adam have , he accepted by faith Gods gift. He wasn't consulted about the creation of eve. Our feelings are not pure . They are mostly fleshly , that's why we must live beyond the realm of feeling. Isaac. Never knew Rebecca enough to marry her. Infact she was married to him before he even got to see her.

Ofcoure the same may not go for every person. We have a choice. But asking if it's possible to marry who you didint love its possible.  Love is a choice. We loke who we choose to like. When you focus on the good attribute of a person you will develop likeness for them. But love? It's your nature to start with as a christian. You love by faith. You love the unlovable.

God is not a confused entity. GOD is love. HE can never lead you to marry someone you don't love. HE can only lead you to marry someone HE had destined for you.

debosky:

@ Image

All this big grammar and we still don't know your stand.

God commands us to love yes, but will he ask you to marry someone you don't love? He asks us to love everybody in fact, but that is different from a spouse isn't it? Or are you saying it's one and the same thing?

I agree you may need to 'force' yourself to love someone in certain circumstances (when they are hurting you for example) but do you start out on that basis?

Oga you say na you invent grammar, whey the big grammar wey i post na? Sometimes you love instantly, but it's not everytime. Humans are not exact science. Not all our best friends, best teachers, most loved possessions were love at first sight. Love can grow, and can be cultivated, it can also be lost. What if you love your spouse before 'God leads you' to it, and lose that love after? The most important thing is not the courtship, or wedding, the most important is the marriage. Many focus on perfect splendid solid courtship and wedding filled with love. They plenty for magistrate court. God's command is to love. Yes, God can direct you to someone you don't initially love if you're interested in God's view, that is.

The answer is YES and NO. The fellow the Lord is leading you to marry,may be the person,you really love,while on the other hand, the Lord may lead you to the person you do not love. After all,some beautiful sisters got married to pot belly,ugly men,not because of love but comfort and conveniency. So, we need to be careful, not to allow our own selfish desire run contrary to the will of God. It is only God that knows the end from the beginning. No matter what happen,if God reveal his will to you concerning marital issue,you better jump at it,before you regret it later. God bless you. God2man.

It happens,bt both parties involved av got to decide on making it work& naturally after the marriage,with time,love flows

[b] FROM MY OPINION, GOD DOES NOT GET INVOLVED IN MARRIAGE ANYMORE, THE LAST TIME GOD GOT INVOLVED WAS IN THE GARDEN OF EDEN, WHEN HE GAVE EVE TO ADAM, WHEN ADAM SINNED, HE BLAMED GOD AND SAID "IT IS THE WOMAN U GAVE ME" SINCE THEN, GOD ALLOWS US TO CHOOSE FOR OURSELVES WHO TO MARRY SO WE DONT BLAME HIM.

NOW , THE ONLY THING HE WILL DO WHEN YOU HAVE MADE YOUR CHOICE AND PRAYED, HE WILL SHOW U WHO THE PERSON IS FOR REAL, HE WILL REVEAL THINGS ABOUT THAT PERSON TO YOU TO KNOW WHO HE OR SHE IS FOR REAL. IF AFTER HE REVEALS TO U THAT THIS GUY IS A DRUG ADDICT, HE SMOKE AND BEATS WOMEN, YOU DECIDE TO GO AHEAD AND MARRY HIM BELIEVING HE WILL CHANGE, THEN WHATEVER U SEE U TAKE, DONT BLAME GOD.

GOD WILL GUIDE U BY HIS WORD, BUT WONT TELL U WHO TO MARRY, IF A WOMAN MEETS A MAN THAT SHE LIKES, SHE HAS TO SCAN HIM THROUGH THE WORD OF GOD. IF HE IS A DRUG DEALER, THEN ITS CLEAR THAT ITS NOT THE WILL OF GOD. BUT MOST WOMEN TODAY WILL GO AHEAD AND MARRY A THIEF BECAUSE THEY WANT TO SETTLE DOWN SO FAST. AT THE END OF THE DAY WHEN HE IS CAUGHT SHE WILL START FASTING AND PRAYING.[/b]

abeg, I will NOT marry someone I dont Love. Love comes first. We are first attracted by what we see. I dont want to struggle to love my wife. If I dont love her from the start, then I'm not going there.

.NET

i dont think so

God would put the love in your heart

I wonder if these Christians have heard about Hosea? Simply turn to the eponymous book in the Bible and read the first three verses of the first chapter. God won't lead you to it, he will command you to do it.

Trust God and follow His instructions, it is the smartest thing to do. If your maker says go for her, just go right away. You cannot know more than your maker, He knows you in and out and He knows what is best for you. You chose your girlfriend or boyfriend and they turned out bad even though you use to be head over heels in love with them and at that time they seemed just perfect. You can't afford to be left alone by God when it comes to a choice of a life partner. If you trust the recommendation of a sales person ( who lies more often than not) on which of the brands of products he sells is best for you and  you buy the product just on his guarantee, how much more God the manufacturer who never lies. Have you ever bought a second hand DVD just on the assurances of the seller and end up using it for much longer than the new ones  ( mostly chinko) you bought with 'warranty'. Choose with your spiritual eyes and ears wide open!

Joagbaje:

You can marry who you didnt love. We define love wrongly. Love is action , love is a choice. Not a feeling. The feeling comes aftr the choice. What feeling did Adam have , he accepted by faith Gods gift. He wasn't consulted about the creation of eve. Our feelings are not pure . They are mostly fleshly , that's why we must live beyond the realm of feeling. Isaac. Never knew Rebecca enough to marry her. Infact she was married to him before he even got to see her.

Ofcoure the same may not go for every person. We have a choice. But asking if it's possible to marry who you didint love its possible.  Love is a choice. We loke who we choose to like. When you focus on the good attribute of a person you will develop likeness for them. But love? It's your nature to start with as a christian. You love by faith. You love the unlovable.

We are not talking about general 'love' here - you are supposed to love your neighbour as yourself, but that doesn't mean you will marry your neighbour.

Who told you Adam didn't have any 'feeling'? He said this is the bone of my bone and the flesh of my flesh - this is ME. Because Adam loved himself, he could not but love his own bone and flesh.

character is more important than love when it comes to marriage.

not saying love isnt important but it shouldnt be the only requirement or the priority.

people fall out of love just as quickly as they fall into it. Especially when they mistake infatuation for love.

does loving some[b] always [/b] mean you have to marry them? What if you love multiple people at various or the same time/s.

my opinion.

To love is a verb & is active, God's love is unconditional,
However, a promise exist which cannot b broken, "All things (not only those we think best) work togethr 4 good 2 them that love God & 2 them that are d called according 2 His purpose", Believe this, God Himself funds every project He initiates & the LORD JESUS will ensure dt d sweetest wine of love abides in d marriage (like dt of Cana,galilee) & also d oil of His presence lasts continually (like dt of Zarepath)
Love God sincerely & He will lead you on d best pathway 4 ur life,

To love is a verb & is active

true that.

The answer is a resounding and unapologetic YES.Love in the context of marraige is generally vain, sometimes blindfoldingly misleading and seldomly ranked on the scale of wisdom. Futhermore true spousal love transcends beyond the butterfly ecstasy to a rather matured, tolerant, patient and enduring tenet which should embody and constitute the elements of a sustainable marraige, with a substantive clarification on true spousal love, your question is therefore emboldened; to this effect GOD in his omniscient and supreme ingenuity stalls your weakness as described in my above perception of major existing love circles. Inceptionally you may likely not experience the tingles and restive factor but He(Jehovah) knows that spouse defines your destiny so YES he can lead or perhaps order you to marry someone you are apprehensive about

Hehehe. . . .and some people will accuse me of blowing grammar.

Mr Chicago can we have a primary 5 version of your post up there?

tpia@:

character is more important than love when it comes to marriage.

not saying love isnt important but it shouldnt be the only requirement or the priority.

I agree character is very important, but is it more important? Does it make you go that extra step for someone that only love (the commitment part) can make you go? While not an exact comparison, parents can go to extreme lengths regardless of their kids' character.

If we are talking about Christians being led by God here, they are aware of other requirements such as character and the like.

people fall out of love just as quickly as they fall into it. Especially when they mistake infatuation for love.

We're talking about people with more than a shallow understanding of love here. Even if we are talking about shallow people, while you can mistake infatuation for love, it is nearly impossible to mistake not loving someone for loving them (i.e. if you're convinced you don't love someone, it's most likely the case)

I agree character is very important, but is it more important?

yes it is.

Does it make you go that extra step for someone that only love (the commitment part) can make you go?

too ambiguous. What exactly is extra step here. Most people go extra steps on the strength of infatuation alone and some dont even need infatuation at all.

We're talking about people with more than a shallow understanding of love here. Even if we are talking about shallow people, while you can mistake infatuation for love, it is nearly impossible to mistake not loving someone for loving them (i.e. if you're convinced you don't love someone, it's most likely the case)

ideally, love is a verb, not a noun. Meaning its not supposed to be the fluttery feeling per se.

debosky:

I was reading the RCCG open heavens devotional a few weeks ago (21/09/2011) and came across this excerpt in a devotional on the Mercy of God:


Another very interesting truth about God's mercy is that everything He does is a reflection of His mercy, especially towards those who have a personal relationship with Him (Psalm 25:10). Every decision God takes concerning you is out of mercy. If you accept this truth, then you will know that it is impossible for God to think evil concerning you. If He is leading you to marry the fellow you do not love, it is because He will supply the love at the time it is needed. [/b]You can be sure that, that divine decision is in your interest and will work in your favour.

http://www.openheavens.kingdom28.org/

Quite interesting I thought - [b]does God actually lead people to marry those they don't love? Is love only needed at certain times? Is this really a biblical comment?

Your thoughts would be appreciated.

yes!
it's very possible. you can be led to marry to marry someone you don't love(at first) but then love will come later!
every human being is capable of loving anyone no matter how disgusting he/she might look at first. with patience, lots of talking time, etc - debosky can fall in love with lepacious bose!

bossinie:

Go will ONLY suggest or lead you but it is entirely up to you to CHOOSE,there is no force involved at all.
Expected end is not as you may envision because the same  bible says "there is a way that seems right unto a person but the end is destructive",again it says "my people are destroyed for lack of knowledge",now you tell me if you know better than the one who created you.

Did I in anyway suggest I know better than him?just know that he doesn't give bad gifts,so if he is leading me to anyone he already knows I'll love the person and I must know this too when I meet the person, but to say he can lead me to someone I don't love is not true.

Seriously, how can?

Can two people be getting married if they are not in love? i think not

dipo+:

Seriously, how can?

Can two people be getting married if they are not in love? i think not

More than half the marriages in the world are based on other considerations apart from love.

In Most Arab countries or Moslem countries, Girls are bethrothed to their husband at a young age when they cant even differentiate between a male ad female gender.

In India, The norm is for families to match brides to grooms based on class, caste and social status,

In Many places in Africa, Girls are married off to much older men atimes friends of the girls father. Even in the advanced world women and men consider the social status of a man before getting married to him atimes dumping agelong boyfriends in the process.

^^

True. But I think the OP isn't considering culture here.

He asked "Can God Lead one to marry someone he/she doesn't love?"

what a topic ?! My goodness, I kind of agree with this because unfortunately love can fade and later on the couples get divorced.

But, you can learn to love someone ---- wow -- this is one tough question sha.

So what is love?   you people should define love

If it's d will of God, then yes i can. But i dnt blieve there's luv, but we can learn 2 undastand ourselves.