Please I need your input, With regard to Tradtional  Igbo Marriage-

ALOT OF QUESTIONS- but a serious disagreemnt has arisen from this, please help me answer:



When a man comes to complete the list- to pay the dowry- is that the traditional wedding?  Or can this be done in private outside the community?  outside extended family?

When you refer to trado or traditional marriage is this when the dowry must be paid or can the dowry be paid and a traditioonal/party be done at a later point?

Is the traditional marriage just a party recognizing that the couple is married?

so no one can offer input on my questions?

Honestly, I would have thought that someone would have answered this question by now. Anyway, the traditional marriage is the final public ceremony in the traditional marriage process. I don't know how others do it, but on our side it is at the final public ceremony that the bridewealth is presented. Hope that answers your question.

ChinenyeN:

Honestly, I would have thought that someone would have answered this question by now. Anyway, the traditional marriage is the final public ceremony in the traditional marriage process. I don't know how others do it, but on our side it is at the final public ceremony that the bridewealth is presented. Hope that answers your question.

thank u 4 answering, u say final, so what r the other stages

what part of ngwa r u from? (looking at your profile)

I am from Ovom, Akhuma Imo.

Well, I don't know about other places, but in Ngwa we have the Orukpu stage, which is the investigative process (Igba Orukpu is how we refer to it). After Orukpu (assuming the investigation is satisfactory) there is the Dehnwu Dehnwu stage, which is typically done in a single evening. It is a private, affirmation ceremony, where direct discussions are held and questions asked, and the families give their affirmation of the intent for marriage, as well as confirmation of the things uncovered during the investigative process. After Dehnwu Dehnwu (again, assuming it proves satisfactory) the main traditional marriage ceremony, Mmemme Isi Nwaanyi, is then scheduled and held (Igba Nkwu is not our marriage institution. It is from Anambra I believe).

U R from WHERE!!!!! woowww!!!!! small world !!!!!!!I have family from there- what village are you from

ur Eze na Onwunali, no?

ChinenyeN:

I am from Ovom, Akhuma Imo.

Well, I don't know about other places, but in Ngwa we have the Orukpu stage, which is the investigative process (Igba Orukpu is how we refer to it). After Orukpu (assuming the investigation is satisfactory) there is the Dehnwu Dehnwu stage, which is typically done in a single evening. It is a private, affirmation ceremony, where direct discussions are held and questions asked, and the families give their affirmation of the intent for marriage, as well as confirmation of the things uncovered during the investigative process. After Dehnwu Dehnwu (again, assuming it proves satisfactory) the main traditional marriage ceremony, Mmemme Isi Nwaanyi, is then scheduled and held (Igba Nkwu is not our marriage institution. It is from Anambra I believe).

thank you for the education- i didnt know that much, i hear igba kwo so much i thought it was a universal igbo way to refer to the ceremony! thanx

Mmemme Isi Nwaanyi- is that when the dowry is paid, when the list requirements are fulfilled?

thats done in the community right?

Lol No. I'm not Eze Onwunali. I'm much too young, and besides I reside in the States. My village is Umuobhu.

UgoBabe:

thank you for the education- i didnt know that much, i hear igba kwo so much i thought it was a universal igbo way to refer to the ceremony! thanx

No problem.

UgoBabe:

Mmemme Isi Nwaanyi- is that when the dowry is paid, when the list requirements are fulfilled?
thats done in the community right?

Well, technically it isn't dowry and it isn't "paid", if you understand what I mean, but yes. It is at Mmemme Isi Nwaanyi that it's all done at.
And yes, it is done in the community, a public ceremony.

ChinenyeN:

Lol No. I'm not Eze Onwunali. I'm much too young, and besides I reside in the States. My village is Umuobhu.

no i am not calling u EZE, i know of him and know he wouldnt be on naiiraland, lollllllllllll i was asking if he was your eze so in know am thinkging of the right Ovom,

am not sure i know Umuobhu area- where in the states are you??

do you know anyone from Obikabia? Umuanunu?

ChinenyeN:

Well, technically it isn't dowry and it isn't "paid", if you understand what I mean, but yes. It is at Mmemme Isi Nwaanyi that it's all done at.
And yes, it is done in the community, a public ceremony.

SUPER!!!! you have answered my questions ho haa,

but i dont get you- why do you say dowry isnt paid, when i say dowry i mean that bride price is given to the family ,

Yea, don't worry. You're thinking of the right Ovom, and yes. It's Eze Onwunali of Akhuma Imo. I'm in NC. I know a few people from Umuanunu and Obikabia, but we aren't like close friends or anything. We mainly associate at the annual Ngwa conventions.

Well, technically dowry is a practice that I know happens in India, where the woman (or the bride's family) brings the requirements. We don't practice that. Instead we do the opposite, which is bridewealth, where the man (or the groom's family) brings the requirements. I also say it isn't paid because 1) it isn't a transaction, instead it's more like a presentation, and 2) it is ceremonial/symbolic, much like the ring is in weddings. Imagine for example if at a wedding, it came to the point where the pastor says, "you may now place the ring on her finger" and the rings were missing. That wedding ceremony would come to an awkward, silent pause/halt (most people describe this as a wedding nightmare). The rings finalize the ceremony and give social and cultural recognition and legitimacy to the wedding.

That's essentially what the bridewealth is in the Mmemme Isi Nwaanyi. It isn't a payment, or a transaction. Instead it is a necessary part of the ceremony that gives social and cultural legitimacy to the traditional marriage. Without it, the couple is not recognized as having married.

again, thanx for the info,

i was checking to send you a private email but i dont see how, okaayy!!! i think i know who u are!!!! did you go to this year's convention?

reading your response, i dont have a clue who u could be,


are u on bb?

No problem. Hahah You think you know who I am? Anyway yea, I went to this year's convention. Oh, and my email setting was on hidden. It's on public now.

bb?

ChinenyeN:

bb?

blackberry

ChinenyeN:

No problem. Hahah You think you know who I am? Anyway yea, I went to this year's convention. Oh, and my email setting was on hidden. It's on public now.

i think soooo,

without mentioning names do you have a fair skinned sister who was there who lives in texas

were you wearing black on saturday of the ocnvention??

Oh okay. I thought as much. Yea, I'm on BB.

I have a fair-skinned sister, but she doesn't live in Texas, and no, I don't think I wore black on Saturday. Sorry.

what is your pin lets communicate-

Let me ask, did you attend the Saturday morning youth service?

ChinenyeN:

. . Let me ask, did you attend the Saturday morning youth service?

i got your pin- u can remove it now,

no i didnt attend the youth service- if u did, then u r not who i am thinking u r!

am sending a request 2 your bb now

Oh okay.