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Japa: Impact On Friendships & Family - Family (3) - Nairaland

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5 Things You Will Miss When You ‘japa’ From Nigeria / Women Are Womens Worst Enemies. My Experience With Female Friendships / Are Opposite-sex Friendships Okay In Marriage? (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Japa: Impact On Friendships & Family by Rubyjade: 2:41pm On Aug 27, 2023
samsegs:

UK,,manchester to be precised...and this person is a blood to me so he won't lie to me...
Lol! He went to an expensive City. You are earning 450k
He could not save or do investment
Re: Japa: Impact On Friendships & Family by vickydevoka(m): 2:48pm On Aug 27, 2023
Rubyjade:
Which message? Sweetie! My colleague went 8 months ago, she's far better than me here. She said, "she can confidently save 500,000 naira after every other expenses".

Erona my course mate, that came out with a 3rd class, his building his second house.

Iya fati's husband that has been there for over 6 years has finished building his hotel business, a house and planning on bringing Iya fati to the state, their son left last year.

My HR just got her IP same with my operations manager.

The examples cited above, who don achieve pass, the siblings & family members are doing better that him here in Nigeria. I used to think Nigeria would be better but now I have had sense by force.
The issue with abroad, the moment you start having kid , couple with a stubborn, lazy wife forget it. If you are single you can save over 2 million naira if you are not lazy. I paid my school fees of 7 million we within 4 months , buh I don't have that energy again. I just do small support work n rest.
The only sacrifice you can make in this abroad is to be single for 10 yrs. Your generation will not be poor. But 90 percent wants family. They go to Nigeria and get a lady n wahala everywhere. You will never build anything until your kids becomes 18. N you might be paying mortgage for the rest of your stay, even if your wife have divorced you. I know a Yoruba man that just die of high BP in Canada even if he is making plenty money.
Ladies are always smarter than guys, you approach them in the UK at 28 the will decline you, when they are getting to 33 to 35 they will accept any guy . By then they have investment in their name.
Nothing comes easy sha

8 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Japa: Impact On Friendships & Family by samsegs(m): 2:48pm On Aug 27, 2023
Rubyjade:
Lol! He went to an expensive City. You are earning 450k
He could not save or do investment
That's y I said its for those still hustling here in 9ja...

3 Likes

Re: Japa: Impact On Friendships & Family by Originalsly: 2:50pm On Aug 27, 2023
Chigozie321:



I'm better off financially here but my main reason is apart from my flexible salaried job, I have some side hustle that I can't effectively supervise if I am not in the country. They are physical businesses and I am still growing them.


You have a lot going on at home. Why give it up? That is your life ... what life will you have abroad? This I will advise you ... I assume you are in a position to get PR .... do so. Until then ... apply for visa and go on vacation to see your family like twice a year. Japa doesn't have to be permanent .... visit... see what it's like .... you will broaden your perspective ... you may even see ways in which you can boost your business... but in the end you will be in a much better position to make a decision you can live with.

8 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Japa: Impact On Friendships & Family by ozo13(m): 2:53pm On Aug 27, 2023
ThiefnubuBandit:
Anyone who tells you not to leave Nigeria if you have the opportunity to do so doesn't mean well for you. Nigeria is irredeemable. Living in a place where merit has been thrown away and mediocrity, tribalism and nepotism are the order of the day is not a good place to guarantee progress and peace of mind.
I always smile when I read comments like this.
Some people left the country in the name of Japa but are still squeezing the country dry by collecting salary for work they didn't do and also not allowing those behind to get the job they even come to Nigeria to do verification exercise just so to keep the salary coming to them.Majority of the citizens alongside the political class made Nigeria the sad state it is today.make we no deceive ourselves.

7 Likes 1 Share

Re: Japa: Impact On Friendships & Family by NnamdiN: 2:57pm On Aug 27, 2023
My sincere advice to anybody



Leave while you can. Nigeria isn't working and may never work...
My only regret is






not leaving earlier wink

5 Likes

Re: Japa: Impact On Friendships & Family by jesmond3945: 2:58pm On Aug 27, 2023
ochukoccna:
Most are japaing based on economic considerations yet there's more to life than what to eat, drink and rainment to put on
If your destiny is linked to Japa, please do and go fulfill it there
However, if it is Naija, hold ship
It sounds delusional to the mind yet when Naija captivity turns around in the days ahead, you'll cherish this nation & her pali more than gold and every precious resource
Naija as a land is blessed but her leadership as presently constituted are ravenous beasts.
no nigerians are the problem. Tribalism in naija has reached a deadly dimension.

3 Likes

Re: Japa: Impact On Friendships & Family by Day169: 3:02pm On Aug 27, 2023
Iamfrank:
U have a very healthy circle.. japaing is not for everybody, the truth is that anywhere u find peace and rest of mind is ur own abroad... Last last na money make everybody wan japa.. As long u r making money in naija just enjoy d little time we all have on earth...
You really must be Frank, frankly speaking! grin

2 Likes

Re: Japa: Impact On Friendships & Family by tshtsh: 3:08pm On Aug 27, 2023
Chigozie321:
I'm sure everyone here has a friend or relative that has JAPA in the last two years.

My siblings have all migrated. I'm the only one remaining in Naija. I do not intend to leave the country for some personal reasons at least for now.

At times I feel lonely and unhappy seeing that most of my loved ones have dispersed all over the world. No more going to weddings, house warming, naming, etc. together cry

Where I work, my closest work pals have all migrated. Even most of my church co-workers and neighbours sef don commot.

As an individual/family, how has it affected you? And how are you rebuilding your local network?

How are you making new quality relationships in the workplace, home, place of worship, etc.?
Don’t worry some will come back particularly those who went to study. Nothing like home

2 Likes

Re: Japa: Impact On Friendships & Family by sammyonal: 3:10pm On Aug 27, 2023
Interactive34:


This is the point. Some just want to do it without any plans or opportunity

I don't think so bro.
Re: Japa: Impact On Friendships & Family by tshtsh: 3:11pm On Aug 27, 2023
Iamfrank:
U have a very healthy circle.. japaing is not for everybody, the truth is that anywhere u find peace and rest of mind is ur own abroad... Last last na money make everybody wan japa.. As long u r making money in naija just enjoy d little time we all have on earth...
Most Nigerians japa because of money. Nigerians by their nature don’t move away from where they are making money. I’ve met people make fun of those who japa simply because they are making money from bribe in Nigeria. Just do what is best for you with realistic expectations because money is scarce everywhere

7 Likes 1 Share

Re: Japa: Impact On Friendships & Family by sammyonal: 3:12pm On Aug 27, 2023
Rubyjade:
Yes but you will contend with regulatory agencies
FIRS
LIRS
Local Government
"Owo da and crew"
😂😂😂😂😂😂

2 Likes

Re: Japa: Impact On Friendships & Family by etrange: 3:14pm On Aug 27, 2023
Rubyjade:
What are you waiting for? Why haven't you left? Start making plans of leaving Nigeria ain't getting better any soon. I have my IP and some few documentation.

Hhm... Did he tell you he's in Nigeria because he thinks the country will get better soon? He has already made it very clear that he hasn't left the country for some PERSONAL reasons. I'm sure you know what that means, but in case you don't, it means he's got a reason that has to do with his private life which he wouldn't want to put out there. So you asking him again what he's waiting for instead of answering his question of whether they're other people experiencing this negative impact of Japa isn't really addressing the subject of the thread.

@OP, this is one of the major impacts of Japa. It's a sacrifice made by both the people leaving and the people left behind. Longtime friendships are left to dry off. If you think you're lonely, ask your friends abroad about thier own situation. The loneliness out here can lead to madness especially for the single ones. So while they are many gains from moving abroad, the loneliness part will still be there except if you move to a place where your friends are clustered. Like they say, everything good thing has some downside. I believe Nigeria will later feel the positive impact of this Japa period in the long run, but things will get harder before they eventually get better. Hold forth, re-evaluate your situation and weigh your options from time to time and do what's best for you at every point.

6 Likes

Re: Japa: Impact On Friendships & Family by bukatyne(f): 3:17pm On Aug 27, 2023
Chigozie321:
I'm sure everyone here has a friend or relative that has JAPA in the last two years.

My siblings have all migrated. I'm the only one remaining in Naija. I do not intend to leave the country for some personal reasons at least for now.

At times I feel lonely and unhappy seeing that most of my loved ones have dispersed all over the world. No more going to weddings, house warming, naming, etc. together cry

Where I work, my closest work pals have all migrated. Even most of my church co-workers and neighbours sef don commot.

As an individual/family, how has it affected you? And how are you rebuilding your local network?

How are you making new quality relationships in the workplace, home, place of worship, etc.?

That is the social and emotional cost of this japa craze.

All my inner circle at work who have become family have japa'ed. The two left are just one leg in and one leg out.

Yet for some very strange reason, I am neither interested nor keen to japa. I have not even thought about it.

5 Likes

Re: Japa: Impact On Friendships & Family by Backpedal: 3:32pm On Aug 27, 2023
Anfieldboss:
I'm in a similar situation as the OP. I was keen on japa few months ago, but unfortunately my plans didn't pan out as I envisaged. Now I am not really keen on the whole japa thingy anymore.

Yea
I went through this phase
But I have rekindled the jaapa move
And thus
Hopefully within the next 12 months

I'm out

2 Likes

Re: Japa: Impact On Friendships & Family by Jaqenhghar: 3:33pm On Aug 27, 2023
Chigozie321:
I'm sure everyone here has a friend or relative that has JAPA in the last two years.

My siblings have all migrated. I'm the only one remaining in Naija. I do not intend to leave the country for some personal reasons at least for now.

At times I feel lonely and unhappy seeing that most of my loved ones have dispersed all over the world. No more going to weddings, house warming, naming, etc. together cry

Where I work, my closest work pals have all migrated. Even most of my church co-workers and neighbours sef don commot.

As an individual/family, how has it affected you? And how are you rebuilding your local network?

How are you making new quality relationships in the workplace, home, place of worship, etc.?
Its just as lonely for them over there. Im sure peole around will be looking at you like you are a one billionaire now because your folks are abroad.

1 Like

Re: Japa: Impact On Friendships & Family by Gerrard59(m): 3:47pm On Aug 27, 2023
ThiefnubuBandit:
Anyone who tells you not to leave Nigeria if you have the opportunity to do so doesn't mean well for you. Nigeria is irredeemable. Living in a place where merit has been thrown away and mediocrity, tribalism and nepotism are the order of the day is not a good place to guarantee progress and peace of mind.

Some people decide not to leave Nigeria for personal reasons, which should be respected. The problem is that some of those who preach anti-japa/relocation to those who actually want to leave do so dishonestly or are propelled by wickedness.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Japa: Impact On Friendships & Family by Anonymoususher: 3:48pm On Aug 27, 2023
samsegs:
So u feel its all about Japa....i've got a sen bro that just japa,,this dude was making 450k/month where he works here in 9ja,,bro is now regretting y he even japa sef,,....japa is for those struggling in 9ja,,not those that ve made it here in 9ja

My brother na that thing dey fear me. Like this I get offer to japa to Canada through visit visa with the agent promising to get me job offer with lmia approval to convert the visa to working visa. Fee is 2.5m and I am not paying anything except 250k for visa processing which will be deducted from the 2.5m once visa shows but fear no gree me.

Naija hard but at least I dey see above 300k monthly, e no go anywhere but hunger no dey catch me. I just dey fear what if I go there and meet something different from what he said? What if that lmia approval job isn't as easy as he sounds? What If them even abandon me after getting there? Shey I fit survive a night for Canada's harsh weather?

Omo, I just pushed the offer to my friend. He said he is willing to take the risk. No problem he can go and make way

4 Likes

Re: Japa: Impact On Friendships & Family by Afrobasic(m): 3:52pm On Aug 27, 2023
Japa is a must.

I used to be depressed when I was in Nigeria until I japed.

Depression is all gone now cool

4 Likes

Re: Japa: Impact On Friendships & Family by Gerrard59(m): 3:52pm On Aug 27, 2023
samsegs:
So u feel its all about Japa....i've got a sen bro that just japa,,this dude was making 450k/month where he works here in 9ja,,bro is now regretting y he even japa sef,,....japa is for those struggling in 9ja,,not those that ve made it here in 9ja

Most of your politicians and celebrities japa'd during their youthful years. A whole lot did. How did almost all achieve second passport status? There is no prominent Nigerian politician who does not have a second passport for him/she and his/her family

6 Likes

Re: Japa: Impact On Friendships & Family by lendahand(m): 3:54pm On Aug 27, 2023
emekajacobogbon:
To whom it may concern
God cannot do what you can do for yourself.
2) You cannot buy God's mind. E.g sowing seeds to challenge God
3) check your place in God, there are levels in God.
4) Don't be deceived by the way and manner these pastors present God to us. Money does not move God.
5) God has his own timing which is best for you
6) Your soul is the most important thing to God and Satan. God can give you all things in due time but Satan can give you sharply and kill you before God's time
7) There are some specific people who are special to God from birth. Don't compare yourself to them even if they are your junior in the house or at school.
Respect them and be blessed, curse them and be cursed.
cool There is "man know man" in spirituality, a bitter truth and a bitter pill to swallow.
9) Not all pastor's prayers can be heard on your behalf. Not all pastors should have their hands laid on your head.
10) Dear, just know that there is God and He is a Good man for that matter.

In all, have it in mind that with or without our approval, He reigns supreme. Whether He gives you food, house or clothes or not. He is still God.
When shedrac, Meshach and Abednego were threatened to be burnt to death in the raging furnace,
What did they say?
What were they thinking?
What actually happened to them?
What happened to the king's?
What did the king do ?
Submit your assignment by this time on Sunday next week.
Just for fun
they said they knew their God would deliver them from the fury of the king and the fiery furnace but even if He doesn't, they would still not bow to the molten deity of Babylon


They to me thought God was the only one that deserved worship and is the only one able to deliver from every danger


A fourth person that looked like the son of man joined them in the fire and the fire was rid of it's very nature to destroy, so they were saved from the destructive power of the furnace and even their very hair were not singer neither was the smoke of fire perceived anywhere on their body.



The king's guards who tried to increase the heat of the furnace all got burnt



The king had no option but to order for their release and they were given important positions in the kingdom and the living God was recognised by the king as the highest.

1 Like

Re: Japa: Impact On Friendships & Family by Gerrard59(m): 3:54pm On Aug 27, 2023
Anonymoususher:


My brother na that thing dey fear me. Like this I get offer to japa to Canada through visit visa with the agent promising to get me job offer with lmia approval to convert the visa to working visa. Fee is 2.5m and I am not paying anything except 250k for visa processing which will be deducted from the 2.5m once visa shows but fear no gree me.

Naija hard but at least I dey see above 300k monthly, e no go anywhere but hunger no dey catch me. I just dey fear what if I go there and meet something different from what he said? What if that lmia approval job isn't as easy as he sounds? What If them even abandon me after getting there? Shey I fit survive a night for Canada's harsh weather?

Omo, I just pushed the offer to my friend. He said he is willing to take the risk. No problem he can go and make way

Converting a visit visa to a working visa in Canada is almost impossible except if you come from a country with LMIA approval, which Nigeria is not a member. Your friend will experience the same issue. Why do you people like using agents when every piece of information is online?

7 Likes

Re: Japa: Impact On Friendships & Family by emekajacobogbon(m): 3:58pm On Aug 27, 2023
lendahand:
they said they knew their God would deliver them from the fury of the king and the fiery furnace but even if He doesn't, they would still not bow to the molten deity of Babylon


They to me thought God was the only one that deserved worship and is the only one able to deliver from every danger


A fourth person that looked like the son of man joined them in the fire and the fire was rid of it's very nature to destroy, so they were saved from the destructive power of the furnace and even their very hair were not singer neither was the smoke of fire perceived anywhere on their body.



The king's guards who tried to increase the heat of the furnace all got burnt



The king had no option but to order for their release and they were given important positions in the kingdom and the living God was recognised by the king as the highest.

More anointing on your head.
Your knowledge of your God will make you strong and do exploit

1 Like

Re: Japa: Impact On Friendships & Family by lendahand(m): 4:02pm On Aug 27, 2023
emekajacobogbon:


More anointing on your head.
Your knowledge of your God will make you strong and do exploit
Amen sir, You will surely fulfill your destiny in God. Continue the good work.

1 Like

Re: Japa: Impact On Friendships & Family by CaptainFM1: 4:07pm On Aug 27, 2023
Rubyjade:
Go to BIGO and see Nigerian abroad on live broadcast for hours

They were bored and lonely abroad. I'm not here in Nigeria. BIGO is probably for them not me.

3 Likes

Re: Japa: Impact On Friendships & Family by Meerahbel: 4:07pm On Aug 27, 2023
shocked
phemmyfour:
It's really affected my office romance. The moment she left, I lost interest going to work. No point staying behind after closing hour
Re: Japa: Impact On Friendships & Family by Bakrabas: 4:13pm On Aug 27, 2023
I made various attempts back in 2017 ain't work, I stopped everything about Japa in 2019 to focus about myself.

God safe my life during the time the Libyans were killing other Africans in Libya, my agent wanted me and other to travel to Italy through Mediterranean Sea, but the whole ain't work through. I started blaming myself, little did I know that God just safe my life from the desert terror ahead.

I got admission in Ukraine in 2018, with hope to stay over after 2yrs, God safe me again, may be I might have be the victim of the war in Ukraine now , who knows?

I filled another form in 2017/2018 wanted to travel to Dubai, not quiet long, the Emirate stop the Nigerian workers in UAE.

I gather the money I wanted to use for Japa to establish myself in a transportation sector while I'm still working as a cashier in Lagos.

I thank God for life and everything. I am not there yet but I'm still better than some Japas.

If Japa is part of my destiny, I'll but it gonna be on the platform of irorun.

I starved myself, I denied myself of so many things, 2 girl friends left me...but today, I say glory be to God

Despite all odds, couple with the economy brouhaha God is doing wonder.

My salary is just 50k but you see that 50k is like 50M

I'm into transportation and mini importation too.


If you have occasion, I can fry any small chops for you free of charge . grin grin smiley

12 Likes

Re: Japa: Impact On Friendships & Family by Meerahbel: 4:14pm On Aug 27, 2023
bukatyne:


That is the social and emotional cost of this japa craze.

All my inner circle at work who have become family have japa'ed. The two left are just one leg in and one leg out.

Yet for some very strange reason, I am neither interested nor keen to japa. I have not even thought about it.
Any reason(s).
Re: Japa: Impact On Friendships & Family by Bfly: 4:14pm On Aug 27, 2023
Ain't here to force shit. I have decided to experience life wherever i find myself.

1 Like

Re: Japa: Impact On Friendships & Family by Meerahbel: 4:14pm On Aug 27, 2023
Backpedal:


Yea
I went through this phase
But I have rekindled the jaapa move
And thus
Hopefully within the next 12 months

I'm out
hmmmmm, what changed all of a sudden.
Re: Japa: Impact On Friendships & Family by ocelot2006(m): 4:18pm On Aug 27, 2023
I understand. My elder sister and her family relocated years. Right now most of my university classmates have done same. Still contemplating about doing same, but I must confess that my life here is decent.

3 Likes

Re: Japa: Impact On Friendships & Family by Dyfynezz12(m): 4:23pm On Aug 27, 2023
ochukoccna:
Most are japaing based on economic considerations yet there's more to life than what to eat, drink and rainment to put on
If your destiny is linked to Japa, please do and go fulfill it there
However, if it is Naija, hold ship
It sounds delusional to the mind yet when Naija captivity turns around in the days ahead, you'll cherish this nation & her pali more than gold and every precious resource
Naija as a land is blessed but her leadership as presently constituted are ravenous beasts.
Since 1999 tell me one Nigerian president that has done better than his predecessor

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