From what you wrote up there, I can deduce that you're a boring man. You think it's all about food, clean and money, ogbeni, when last did you take your wife out alone? Have you asked her, if she drinks Smirnoff ice or something, if you don't do alcohol, have you considered that she might be the type that drinks, but she is respecting you since you don't .

Oga, go and and spice to your marriage and watch it bounce back to life.

cococandy:
Africa is super Uber rich in resources but the people are living below poverty level because of bad leaders so yes there’s poverty in the land

Don’t act brand new or deliberately misunderstand her. I don’t like when people do that. Just arguing what nobody said. Is there anyone in the world that doesn’t know Africa has resources? Does that change the fact that the people are not fully benefiting from it? In fact read your own post and answer your own question. You already stated it. Other continents are using up our resources.

You gat time to explain darling

Nairaland will not be generating traffic if there is no woman bashing thread.

After tribal threads, it's wicked women


Small boys claiming married.

He is so quick to tell us what he earns.
And out of the big amount, only 10% for his lovely family.
When they are giving others brain for exploration our people decided theirs is for sex only.( see their skits online, it's all about sex, sex and sex. Nothing creative)
And they want the world to take us serious.

When they are writing their beautiful imaginary stories, they forgot that real people are here.

ayomilore:
This is a very trivial issue Op, you seem to have a good wife who doesn't cheat on you, doesn't nag and try to hold forth your house with that money you drop every month.

Oga I beg don't destroy your home, one thing I have come to realize In life is that you can't have everything as you want it.

You can meet her parents if she still has one or someone she hold in high esteem and with wisdom praise her very well to them and tell them the only thing you still need her to be doing

You know your wife very well without moving out you can give her the right attitude that will make her to change.

Above all pray for God intervention in your family matters..

Why do people make this mistake in marriages, I told my wife that the day you go and seeking someone whom I revere to have audience with me, over our marriage issue, is the day our real problem starts.
Any spouse who does that is evil. Like I said earlier there's a place for communication in marriages. Sit down and talk. The issue OP has is a very trivial one to deal with, it's just that they do not "speak" the same language.
I can recommend 3 ways to restore sexual life to that marriage, I have already mentioned one in my first post

eniolorunfe:
@op

The chances that she will try to change if you carry out what you intend to do is quite high. If she changes, are you willing to continue with the marriage or you just want out?

Yes, I am willing she is a wonderful woman , the only problem is what I mentioned.

Acidosis:


Workload is the amount of work you'd prefer your wife to do to the point of exhaustion, rather than spending 2% of your income on a cleaner.

Y'all wicked men will buy expensive phones for your girlfriends that contribute absolutely nothing to your lives, but watch your wife at home work herself to a state of exhaustion and unconsciousness.

My joy is that, this is coming from a fellow man
God bless you real good.

ADURA123:
Good evening fellow NL members,
My story may be long but pls endeavor to read to the end so that you can make proper suggestions or advice.

I have been married for more than 10yrs now with beautiful kids, my marriage is one that many Young guy will wish to have, but along the the line I don't know what happened things begin to nose dive. In the last 6yrs I discovered that I struggle to make love to my wife, she will either tell you ohh, she is tire or she don't like sex much..this I have endured for all this years with no cheating.
Her qualities are
She can cook
She can keep the house clean
She can manage resources
And she is accommodating to my people
In all this years I have never cheated on her, proudly saying it coz my dad warned me of cheating on my wife rather I should divorce her and go for another wife.

My qualities are
I work and earn like about 700k net a month.
I give feeding allowance and personal total of 100k a month while I invest the rest on a project which she is aware of.
I don't drink or smoke
I don't keep late night
and I am the best friend to her and my kids.
Honestly having talk to her for over 5yrs on this issues of love making and she refused to change, then I have decided to yield to my dad advice and ask her to leave...she is not aware of this plan, but trust me it will hit her.
I allow her to do little job to have her own finance is not as if she contribute anything in the house, but she is claiming stubborn, I love her so much, it will hurt me to cheat on her, something I have not done since I got married to her.
I plan moving to a new place in February, and she doesn't fit into my plans.

My decision between now and December is
1 Avoid asking her for lobe making
2 Continue taking care of her so she won't suspect anything
3 when she comes close I avoid her.
4 February I issues divorce papers and give her like 1m to go get her life back

Is there anything more I can do for her?
Advice me pls...
Pls mods should help me run this on FP

if you have prostrate and she lives you will also come here. Learn to love genuinely. Most times hormones changes, you mentioned many benefits but your needs are sex. She doesn't need you as you are thinking, doesn't overspend and independent. Will probably be less promiscuous because of low libido. Omo! You for die like 100 years old with that type of woman, kids are in quality hands. Once in a while you guys can take a week off (5days) intentionally stress 😩 ni o. Check her contraceptive could be one of the cause. If your libido is that high. Have some once in a while Spa journey. Something must kill a man. We too dey hurry for this Nigeria. One time I complain too much naso my madam dey react. Now I they pay attention to her interest and things she feels insecure with I avoid. Compliment intentionally 2 times a day even if it flattery it helps with the kids too. You self dress well on weekends and no dey knack like chicken. After sex talk for 🛌, share old time gist. Make her know how important she is, check your odours too.

Dear op reject that spirit that's calling you outside.

Reading through all comments here, I see some people do not understand my post.

1 she is a nice woman the only problem is sex.

2. The question of been a boring husband is no, I am not, I am a hyper extrovert she is an introvert..she I force her to go on outing with the kids, last week we were at Magic land, previous months millennium park or any other nice place in Abuja, I have pictures evidence.

3. On the issue of gift ...at least the cheapest rapper in her bag now is around 15, and the last abaya I bought for her is worth 90k.

4. On discussing with her mum, sadly she is an orphan and that is my biggest problems here, I try to treat her in such a way that she doesn't feel the absence of her parent's.

Lastly let me put the record straight.. I am a Muslim, my religion permits me to take more than one wife, but me as an individual don't believed in second or third wife...

I am not praising myself, I know I have lots of respect for her, the last time a senior member I have ever reported her to in my family, ask her what is the problem she said , she doesn't like sex, mind you I met her a virgin...that was the first and last I ever take my issue out, that was last year...I have talked and I am tired of talking.

But plans are in place for her, she either shape in or shape out, but I maintain my stand, I won't cheat on her coz she doesn't deserve it.

starpower:
if you have prostrate and she lives you will also come here. Learn to love genuinely. Most times hormones changes, you mentioned many benefits but your needs are sex. She doesn't need you as you are thinking, doesn't overspend and independent. Will probably be less promiscuous because of low libido. Omo! You for die like 100 years old with that type of woman, kids are in quality hands. Once in a while you guys can take a week off (5days) intentionally stress 😩 ni o. Check her contraceptive could be one of the cause. If your libido is that high. Have some once in a while Spa journey. Something must kill a man. We too dey hurry for this Nigeria. One time I complain too much naso my madam dey react. Now I they pay attention to her interest and things she feels insecure with I avoid. Compliment intentionally 2 times a day even if it flattery it helps with the kids too. You self dress well on weekends and no dey knack like chicken. After sex talk for 🛌, share old time gist. Make her know how important she is, check your odours too.

She is not on contraceptive.... it gives her issues

ʏᴏᴜʀ ʀᴇᴀsᴏɴ ɪs ᴜɴʀᴇᴀsᴏɴᴀʙʟᴇ. ᴀʙᴏʀᴛ ɪᴛ ᴛᴏᴛᴀʟʟʏ

eniolorunfe:
@op

The chances that she will try to change if you carry out what you intend to do is quite high. If she changes, are you willing to continue with the marriage or you just want out?

I have never threaten her with divorce, but this will be my first time, if after this she did not change...sorry I have my...there are several girls girls out dia looking for who will bleep them for free..

ADURA123:
Reading through all comments here, I see some people do not understand my post.

1 she is a nice woman the only problem is sex.

2. The question of been a boring husband is no, I am not, I am a hyper extrovert she is an introvert..she I force her to go on outing with the kids, last week we were at Magic land, previous months millennium park or any other nice place in Abuja, I have pictures evidence.

3. On the issue of gift ...at least the cheapest rapper in her bag now is around 15, and the last abaya I bought for her is worth 90k.

4. On discussing with her mum, sadly she is an orphan and that is my biggest problems here, I try to treat her in such a way that she doesn't feel the absence of her parent's.

Lastly let me put the record straight.. I am a Muslim, my religion permits me to take note than one wife, but me as an individual don't believed in second or third wife...

I am not praising myself, I know I have son the best, the last time a senior member I have ever reported her to in my family, ask her what is the problem she said , she doesn't like sex, mind you I met her a virgin...that was the first and last I ever take my issue out, that was last year...I have talked and I am tired of talking.

But plans are in place for her, she either shape in or shape out, but I maintain my stand, I won't cheat on her coz she doesn't deserve it.

Is she a Muslim also?

Oga, work on your marriage. This isn't enough reason for divorce.

Administration1:


Is she a Muslim also?

Devoted one

Why should married women be denying their husbands sex in the first place?.. Don't they know it's their conjugal duty.to.satisfy one another?
The.rate at.which men are complaining of.their wives now is alarming... Some just stay in the marriage for the sake of the children while others who can't manage quit. It's bad o.

ADURA123:


She is not on contraceptive.... it gives her issues

reasons while she is very careful, you should be very understanding. Nowhere is perfection. You can unlearn the urges with time. But she should see a therapist.

starpower:
reasons while she is very careful, you should be very understanding. Nowhere is perfection. You can unlearn the urges with time.

God bless you sir... you have been consistent in your advise

Oga, side chicks has their own use.
This is where you should go for one and forget about marrying another woman.
Get a beautiful sidechick, she will make you forget ur wife's sexual and marital shenanigans.

ADURA123:
Good evening fellow NL members,
My story may be long but pls endeavor to read to the end so that you can make proper suggestions or advice.

I have been married for more than 10yrs now with beautiful kids, my marriage is one that many Young guy will wish to have, but along the the line I don't know what happened things begin to nose dive. In the last 6yrs I discovered that I struggle to make love to my wife, she will either tell you ohh, she is tire or she don't like sex much..this I have endured for all this years with no cheating.
Her qualities are
She can cook
She can keep the house clean
She can manage resources
And she is accommodating to my people
In all this years I have never cheated on her, proudly saying it coz my dad warned me of cheating on my wife rather I should divorce her and go for another wife.

My qualities are
I work and earn like about 700k net a month.
I give feeding allowance and personal total of 100k a month while I invest the rest on a project which she is aware of.
I don't drink or smoke
I don't keep late night
and I am the best friend to her and my kids.
Honestly having talk to her for over 5yrs on this issues of love making and she refused to change, then I have decided to yield to my dad advice and ask her to leave...she is not aware of this plan, but trust me it will hit her.
I allow her to do little job to have her own finance is not as if she contribute anything in the house, but she is claiming stubborn, I love her so much, it will hurt me to cheat on her, something I have not done since I got married to her.
I plan moving to a new place in February, and she doesn't fit into my plans.

My decision between now and December is
1 Avoid asking her for lobe making
2 Continue taking care of her so she won't suspect anything
3 when she comes close I avoid her.
4 February I issues divorce papers and give her like 1m to go get her life back

Is there anything more I can do for her?
Advice me pls...
Pls mods should help me run this on FP

This is a nonsense way of reasoning, so your dad controls your way of thinking.
This is why Islam is wonderful, go get a second wife bro. It doesn't make sense substituting a wife, one goes, another comes just because of desire for sex. Polygamy is the way out except your wife objects and decides to leave on her own accord.

Ahmed0336:

Since your problem is Sex and your wife cannot meet up your demands I don't think the issue of divorce should be brought up.
Remember, there are children in the picture.
My take, since your dad prefer divorce to cheating, I'd advise you take a second wife and let the sleeping dog l..

+7.7

ADURA123:


She is not on contraceptive.... it gives her issues

Maybe she is afraid to get pregnant and so avoiding sex so as not to get pregnant. I don’t know what you wanted by creating this thread. You’re a stubborn man because you just want to break your home and you will account for your actions when the time is right. Your religion allows you to take another wife but you want to divorce your wife and make your children feel abandoned and in danger because of SEX!

ADURA123:
Good evening fellow NL members,
My story may be long but pls endeavor to read to the end so that you can make proper suggestions or advice.

I have been married for more than 10yrs now with beautiful kids, my marriage is one that many Young guy will wish to have, but along the the line I don't know what happened things begin to nose dive. In the last 6yrs I discovered that I struggle to make love to my wife, she will either tell you ohh, she is tire or she don't like sex much..this I have endured for all this years with no cheating.
Her qualities are
She can cook
She can keep the house clean
She can manage resources
And she is accommodating to my people
In all this years I have never cheated on her, proudly saying it coz my dad warned me of cheating on my wife rather I should divorce her and go for another wife.

My qualities are
I work and earn like about 700k net a month.
I give feeding allowance and personal total of 100k a month while I invest the rest on a project which she is aware of.
I don't drink or smoke
I don't keep late night
and I am the best friend to her and my kids.
Honestly having talk to her for over 5yrs on this issues of love making and she refused to change, then I have decided to yield to my dad advice and ask her to leave...she is not aware of this plan, but trust me it will hit her.
I allow her to do little job to have her own finance is not as if she contribute anything in the house, but she is claiming stubborn, I love her so much, it will hurt me to cheat on her, something I have not done since I got married to her.
I plan moving to a new place in February, and she doesn't fit into my plans.

My decision between now and December is
1 Avoid asking her for lobe making
2 Continue taking care of her so she won't suspect anything
3 when she comes close I avoid her.
4 February I issues divorce papers and give her like 1m to go get her life back

Is there anything more I can do for her?
Advice me pls...
Pls mods should help me run this on FP

Please increase the home feeding and other allowance to 200/250k and she will change. 100k for a family of 4/5 per month feeding allowance is almost impossible in Nigeria of today

ADURA123:
Reading through all comments here, I see some people do not understand my post.

1 she is a nice woman the only problem is sex.

2. The question of been a boring husband is no, I am not, I am a hyper extrovert she is an introvert..she I force her to go on outing with the kids, last week we were at Magic land, previous months millennium park or any other nice place in Abuja, I have pictures evidence.

3. On the issue of gift ...at least the cheapest rapper in her bag now is around 15, and the last abaya I bought for her is worth 90k.

4. On discussing with her mum, sadly she is an orphan and that is my biggest problems here, I try to treat her in such a way that she doesn't feel the absence of her parent's.

Lastly let me put the record straight.. I am a Muslim, my religion permits me to take more than one wife, but me as an individual don't believed in second or third wife...

I am not praising myself, I know I have lots of respect for her, the last time a senior member I have ever reported her to in my family, ask her what is the problem she said , she doesn't like sex, mind you I met her a virgin...that was the first and last I ever take my issue out, that was last year...I have talked and I am tired of talking.

But plans are in place for her, she either shape in or shape out, but I maintain my stand, I won't cheat on her coz she doesn't deserve it.

op i praise, you are a good man. Please, dont divorce her. You deserve sex from your wife and she not giving it to you is not good for your mental wellbeing. Sex is a need and not a want. I believe much of her energy is expended on caring for the home front so not much energy is left for sex. Also, sex is emotional for women, if she is not feeling you, she wouldnt want it.
Also, she might not be enjoying the experience with you. Women love pre-intimacy, penetration can come later.
Talk to your wife about getting a second wife since your belief permits it.
However, getting a second wife their is no giuarantee this issue would not arise again. Just use wisdom.

pandax:


Please increase the home feeding and other allowance to 200/250k and she will change. 100k for a family of 4/5 per month feeding allowance is almost impossible in Nigeria of today

How about a family who's combine income is 100k a month? Are they not surviving? The thing is contentment

jesmond3945:
op i praise, you are a good man. Please, dont divorce her. You deserve sex from your wife and she not giving it to you is not good for your mental wellbeing. Sex is a need and not a want. I believe much of her energy is expended on caring for the home front so not much energy is left for sex. Also, sex is emotional for women, if she is not feeling you, she wouldnt want it.
Also, she might not be enjoying the experience with you. Women love pre-intimacy, penetration can come later.
Talk to your wife about getting a second wife since your belief permits it.
However, getting a second wife their is no giuarantee this issue would not arise again. Just use wisdom.

God bless you, She hates hearing second wife, infact she made me understand that there is no room for another woman in our house, but sha she is just talking, she knows is not in my agenda, if I want I will go for it.

Most people misunderstood my post, I never said she is a bad woman, infact she is the dream of every man, but I cannot spend the last 7yrs talking to one woman on one topic without any significant changes, yes I agree she is afraid of getting pregnant and she is not on any contraceptive. But cheating on this woman will hurt me coz she is a faithful wife. Secondly our intimacy time is usually 2hrs, 1hr talking stories and touching, giving head both of us and finally penetration, she enjoys head well..but having a side chick kai, I don't fancy it...but my plans are intact... she will change with this last straw I want to pull

flokii:
Why should married women be denying their husbands sex in the first place?.. Don't they know it's their conjugal duty.to.satisfy one another?
The.rate at.which men are complaining of.their wives now is alarming... Some just stay in the marriage for the sake of the children while others who can't manage quit. It's bad o.

I have a senior colleague who is having same issues, do you know that he is not aware I am having same wahala, but I paint my wife as very good and she dey spoil me with sex, this guy is currently having a child with another woman here in Abuja and the wife is not aware, for me is bad, I can't do that,the reason is not genuine...side chicks are just out to dig gold

Have you talked her?
In most cases, when a woman stops making love to her partner, it means she has fallen outta love with you and doesn't find you sexually appealing.
So, before you start forming boss, be sure she's not the one who is tired of your ass.

ADURA123:


I have a senior colleague who is having same issues, do you know that he is not aware I am having same wahala, but I paint my wife as very good and she dey spoil me with sex, this guy is currently having a child with another woman here in Abuja and the wife is not aware, for me is bad, I can't do that,the reason is not genuine...side chicks are just out to dig gold

He should have divorced her legally, then take the other woman in.. I'm not a fan of married men having side chicks.

What I still don't get is how these women sweep, clean, cook, wear skimpy clothes to seduce men into commitment and marriage only to change later on.. that's why it is good to marry virgins attimes not the ones that have seen it all and tasted everything out there.

If you can, totally stop demanding to be intimate with her, care more but spend more time outside, engage in something that keeps you busy. When home find something educative that keeps you glued to your phone, possibly watch comedies that will make you laugh out loud. Lock your phones as well, most women hate Competition, since you say she loves you, she can't stand it. Most women pretend not to like intimacy, but they like it most. Same people telling you I am not in the mood are the same people who will tell you please don't stop. Very funny Gender. BTW hope you are not a one minute man, no offence, also find out what she likes most and how she likes.

JONSYN7154:
Yes everything is wrong.

Why take advice from your father when him and your mother are enjoying their own marriage?

Think twice before divorcing her so that you won't regret it later.

My ten kobo advice.

He shouldn't take advice from his dad but should take the advice from an unknown person and from an ananymous forum like Nairaland? Clap hand for yourself

OP there is nothing wrong if your father gives you an advice of not having a side chick and there is nothing wrong if you heed to your father's advice.

Your dad knows that when you stab the one that gives you food at the back(taking side chick) your life is in great danger that's why he gave you that advice never to go for another lady when you are not done with one.

In as much as this is happening, I will say this issue is still redeemable and can be sorted out. Please still keep an open mind towards reconciliation, though it seems your mind is made up.

I see that your wife doesn't really know that hee behavior towards issues you raised is turning to a deal breaker in the family. Why not place this deal breaker on the table and communicate things through with a view to making sure that the grey areas in your marriage is settled.

Remember even the lady you may have in the future may have everything your wife is lacking but also lack everything your wife is having think about it. You postpone this and get another issue from another woman in the future.

Give reconciliation another chance, this might be the turning point.

Wish you the best

If it wasn't for money, most women in Nigeria would also be single. You will be surprised that she is satisfied, if you stay in your own place while giving her money to cater for the kids. Most likely she is no longer attracted to you.

ADURA123:


I am not divorcing to remarry, I want to be alone and be free. Thank you

Be free to fvck as much as you want.

Well, I assure you, you go see fvck run. Nigerians girls no dey fear you. Na your money go complain, not them.