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Why I Cheated On My Husband - Family - Nairaland

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Why I Cheated On My Husband by aloyemeka1: 11:48am On Nov 03, 2011
Five married women on why they cheated


For men, it’s typically about the sex—the more sexually excitable they are, the more likely they are to cheat. For women, it’s more about the level of satisfaction in her relationship; if a woman is unhappy in her marriage, she’s 2.6 times more likely to cheat.

“My husband was abusive.”
“From the day I married my husband, I knew it was a mistake,” says 50-year-old Elizabeth Smith.* “He was abusive, controlling and expected me to quit my job to make a home for him.” A little over a year into the marriage, she began having an affair with a man that she worked with. “I had no illusions that I was in love, but it was eye-opening to be with someone that made me feel good about myself, made me laugh and respected me for who I was—not who he wanted me to be,” she says. “The affair helped me find myself and proved to me that I could live a life independent of my husband. It also gave me the courage to ask for a divorce.

“We began to resent each other.”

When Vanessa Myers*, 28, married her husband six years ago, they both couldn’t wait to have children, but after their wedding day something changed for her. “I started to really love my job, and kids didn’t seem to fit into the picture,” she says. Her husband was hurt by her change of heart, and began to resent her. “We started fighting a lot, and I resented him for resenting me and we were just constantly hurting each other,” she says. “One night I caught him trying to slip off the condom and that was pretty much the end of our sex life.” Ultimately, the lack of intimacy caused Vanessa to cheat. “I met a guy online and we dated for about a year,” she says. “It ended when my husband caught me.” Vanessa and her husband agreed to seek therapy separately and together, and were able to save their marriage.

“I was bored and unhappy.”
At 35-years-old, Barbara Gisborne was living the American dream. She lived in Madison, Wisconsin, with her loving husband and two children—but she was miserable. “My husband was a good man, but I was bored inside and out,” she says. “In our community, I always felt like a square peg trying to fit in a round hole.” That year, she was in Chicago on business and met Bob, an Australian man, on an elevator. “We had an instant connection. We exchanged numbers, kept in touch, and I decided to fly out to Australia to see him and get him out of my system,” she says. “Instead, I fell in love.” She left everything she knew—her hometown, her husband, her job and her country—to start her life over with Bob in Australia. “I became strong, independent, confident and much worldlier,” she says. “That was 25 years ago and now I can say that my affair was the turning point in my life’s journey. Today, Bob and I are married, own a winery in Australia, and have five children and 10 grandchildren between us.”



“My husband was a workaholic.”
For 10 years, 49-year-old Barbara Singer created a life independent of her husband because he was never around. “Gary was totally consumed and exhausted by his work—there was nothing left for me,” she says. “I was totally committed to my family and gave it my all, but knew in my heart that I certainly did not want this for rest of my life.” One night, she met up with Tom, an acquaintance, and ended up staying out all night with him. Within a few weeks of meeting him, she ended her marriage, and two years later, she and Tom were married. But within a month, he died of a heart attack. “Meeting Tom was the best and worst thing that ever happened to me. He came into my life and woke me up, showing me…that life is precious and that at any given moment, it can all be taken away, so if I have a dream or a goal, I better get moving on it,” she says.

“He was unfaithful first.”
Larie Norvell had only been married about a year when she found out that her husband had cheated on her. “I was very angry, but I was also very hurt, because I felt like I wasn’t enough for him—like there was something I wasn’t doing for him as his wife, which is why he felt the need to go outside of our marriage,” says the 33-year-old. That jumble of mixed emotions was the impetus for her affair. “I cheated on him—mostly for revenge, but in retrospect it was also because I wanted validation. I wanted to know that I was still desirable to other men,” she says.

http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/sex/why-i-cheated-on-my-husband-2596381/
Re: Why I Cheated On My Husband by theLINK: 3:57pm On Nov 03, 2011
i didn't waste my time reading their reasons, NO reason is good enough to cheat, its wrong by all known standard. ya, we all make mistakes,but the responsible thing to do is make amends and not try justify your wrong doings,  just my view

1 Like

Re: Why I Cheated On My Husband by ronkebp(f): 4:33pm On Nov 03, 2011
Now!! who says women don't cheat on their husbands i wish we could get Nigeria jist on how wives cheat on their hubby, everyday, but they won't come out!
Re: Why I Cheated On My Husband by theLINK: 4:57pm On Nov 03, 2011
ronkebp:

Now!! who says women don't cheat on their husbands i wish we could get Nigeria jist on how wives cheat on their hubby, everyday, but they won't come out!

women are the same WORLD wide,

1 Like

Re: Why I Cheated On My Husband by ronkebp(f): 5:51pm On Nov 03, 2011
^^^^^^^^^i know they are the same. cool cool cool
Re: Why I Cheated On My Husband by theLINK: 6:10pm On Nov 03, 2011
ronkebp:

^^^^^^^^^i know they are the same. cool cool cool

didn't expect u to accept that, since u'r a Female,
Re: Why I Cheated On My Husband by ronkebp(f): 6:55pm On Nov 03, 2011
the LINK:

didn't expect u to accept that, since u'r a Female,

Well you have already said your mind, no point arguing with you, that not all women are the same.
Re: Why I Cheated On My Husband by theLINK: 7:04pm On Nov 03, 2011
ronkebp:

Well you have already said your mind, no point arguing with you, that not all women are the same.
o no i'm sorry, ur views can really help in shaping or redefining mine so pls lets hav them
Re: Why I Cheated On My Husband by ronkebp(f): 7:09pm On Nov 03, 2011
the LINK:

o no i'm sorry, your views can really help in shaping or redefining mine so pls lets hav them

So what would you like to know.? cool cool
Re: Why I Cheated On My Husband by theLINK: 9:19pm On Nov 03, 2011
ronkebp:

So what would you like to know.? cool cool
your view(s)
Re: Why I Cheated On My Husband by michelin89(f): 9:27pm On Nov 03, 2011
the LINK:

i didn't waste my time reading their reasons, NO reason is good enough to cheat, its wrong by all known standard. ya, we all make mistakes,but the responsible thing to do is make amends and not try justify your wrong doings,  just my view

I read through and their posts did arouse sympathy in me but I must agree with you. No reason justifies cheating.

It's not just humiliating to your partner but it's also a form of self-degradation.
Re: Why I Cheated On My Husband by Oluschenco(m): 9:27pm On Nov 03, 2011
Hmmn! Women are birds of the same feather except my mum.
Re: Why I Cheated On My Husband by theLINK: 9:40pm On Nov 03, 2011
michelin89:

I read through and their posts did arouse sympathy in me but I must agree with you. No reason justifies cheating.

It's not just humiliating to your partner but it's also a form of self-degradation.

i luv that, self degradation. nice tot
Re: Why I Cheated On My Husband by theLINK: 9:43pm On Nov 03, 2011
Oluschenco:

Hmmn! Women are birds of the same feather except my mum.
its safe to assume u'r not married, hope u'r ready to get married to a lady with character described in the story
Re: Why I Cheated On My Husband by aloyemeka1: 11:51pm On Nov 03, 2011
ronkebp:

Now!! who says women don't cheat on their husbands i wish we could get Nigeria jist on how wives cheat on their hubby, everyday, but they won't come out!

Do you know some?
Re: Why I Cheated On My Husband by aloyemeka1: 11:23am On Nov 04, 2011
Oluschenco:

Hmmn! Women are birds of the same feather except my mum.
Another guy will say the same thing and exclude his mom while including yours.

3 Likes

Re: Why I Cheated On My Husband by nnwniger: 12:16pm On Nov 04, 2011
God help us all
Re: Why I Cheated On My Husband by ronkebp(f): 2:58pm On Nov 04, 2011
aloy/emeka:

Do you know some?

My dear, i do ooooo, i know a lot gan sef, i have a very good friend who is presently cheating on her hubby, for reasons i don't know. Then that one no be my konsine, i just pray for her everyday.

My cousin, that one, she just moved out of her hubby's house, she is now living in one of the houses her boyfriend built for her in Lekki, Her case is a different one, because her hubby abused the living-hell out of her, both verbally and physically, i used to hate the fact that she still stuck to him, but one day she just made up her mind to take charge of her life, is cheating the answer?? No!!! but this other guy, has given her a shoulder to lean on, she is happy, she is now emotionally stable. is she thinking of marrying this new guy, nope!!! but she is just glad she is out of her husband's life. In her case, reconciliation will not do anything, don't think she can ever reconcile with her hubby.
Re: Why I Cheated On My Husband by Nobody: 5:25pm On Nov 04, 2011
the LINK:
i didn't waste my time reading their reasons, NO reason is good enough to cheat, its wrong by all known standard. ya, we all make mistakes,but the responsible thing to do is make amends and not try justify your wrong doings,  just my view

Right on. Cheating is one of the highest forms of insult in my opinion. Nothing can warrant that kind of treatment as far as I'm concerned. I can respect someone who divorces and moves on. Cheats lose my respect and gaining it back will be either difficult or impossible.
Re: Why I Cheated On My Husband by HISchild: 5:56pm On Nov 04, 2011
Fact, Truth - “Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.” - Hebrews 13:4
Re: Why I Cheated On My Husband by FGcom: 6:24pm On Nov 04, 2011
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Re: Why I Cheated On My Husband by Sijo01(f): 6:30pm On Nov 04, 2011
nnw niger:

God help us all

i guess u'r male.

well, God will also help us (female) 4rm those men dat dont kno how 2kip deir TIN in check
Re: Why I Cheated On My Husband by Kcwarren: 6:36pm On Nov 04, 2011
aloy/emeka:

Another guy will say the same thing and exclude his mom while including yours.
LoLZ
Re: Why I Cheated On My Husband by femzy(m): 6:46pm On Nov 04, 2011
@ OP Free scripts for our movie producers.
Re: Why I Cheated On My Husband by Guardian(m): 6:55pm On Nov 04, 2011
This na Oyinbo reasons.

You need to put up the scenarios that apply to our 9aija environment. Apart from some few sectors e.g Financial. How many married working women have the time to enjoy cheating/ flirting. Give 9aija Married women chance. Them they try. At least they don't scheme everyday on how to marry and divorce to end up with your hard earned money, car and house , only to remarry few weeks later to a secret lover boy. smiley

1 Like

Re: Why I Cheated On My Husband by mymadam: 7:11pm On Nov 04, 2011
I'm proud of you lot, Nice to hear nice thoughts from fellow Nigerians. I always knew that we are a considerate & decent lot. Self control appears to be the necessary ingredient here. Religious belief? I don't think so. GREEN, WHITE, GREEN!
Re: Why I Cheated On My Husband by awuf2008: 8:03pm On Nov 04, 2011
i will say 80% of Naija women cheat on their husband. it is normal in naija setting
Re: Why I Cheated On My Husband by seedord247(m): 8:05pm On Nov 04, 2011
awuf2008:

i will say 80% of Naija women cheat on their husband. it is normal in naija setting

If you say so . . that means your sister and your Folks are not excluded.

1 Like

Re: Why I Cheated On My Husband by randyorton: 8:33pm On Nov 04, 2011
Who said nigerian women dont cheat. Well,yoruba Women do cheat.
Re: Why I Cheated On My Husband by Blackeagle1: 8:40pm On Nov 04, 2011
She can cheat on her husband if her husband is not good in bed or he is available for her.
Re: Why I Cheated On My Husband by ronkebp(f): 8:43pm On Nov 04, 2011
randyorton:

Who said nigerian women dont cheat. Well,yoruba Women do cheat.

A lot of them cheat jare!!!!!!!! they are only pretenders.
Re: Why I Cheated On My Husband by dhtml18(m): 9:39pm On Nov 04, 2011
I thought someone was going to gist us why 9ja women cheat - well, i know a few reasons. . .but let us keep that for another day.

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