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Will I Regret Not Having Children - Family (7) - Nairaland

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Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by Jeezuzpick(m): 7:45pm On Mar 28
Kobojunkie:
How do you know they aren't common if it never even crossed your mind that they may just be there in your face without you even noticing them and their plight? undecided

How do you know they're common?
Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by willyblinx(m): 7:51pm On Mar 28
CoronaVirusPro:


Fulfillment, company and a legacy and empire to pass-on.

My kids are not a burden to me. If I am not spending on them, where else would I be spending money? As a matter of fact, nothing makes me happy than spending on my kids. The whole quest of me existing , is making them become the best, and that does not stop me from enjoying my life.

When you financially capable and buoyant, having kids is the best thing that can happen to you. Cos without them, you definitely won’t even have reason to spend.

How many days a year can you fly around the world cos you single? We talking about playing basketball and PS with your kids.


When someone dies, He does not know whether his legacy or empire continues. The kids can turn out to be useless and squander everything within years. Or there can be an accident that occurs where the children were all in one flight and all died. That legacy or empire moves to someone else and his lineage closes.

These things do not really matter because all you are sure of is what you have and were able to achieve so banking on the kids tomorrow is just setting yourself up without plans.


Having kids is good. It has its own happiness and life’s experiences. At the same time not having kids is also great. The experience and joy the person gets is different .

Let’s stop thinking that life has only one way to success or happiness. We all desire different things and ways of getting them.

I have seen those who had no kids live satisfactorily as well as suffer. Same way I have seen those who have kids do both.

4 Likes

Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by BRATISLAVA: 7:53pm On Mar 28
The biggest advocate of having no children, right here on this forum, who preached having visited somewhere called Marie stopes to tie up his vas (the sure sign of hypocrisy in his loud and all over the place assertions), that same loud advocate is silent. His message began shifting—as it was sure to. Soon you will hear he's a father. If he has the balls to announce it just as noisily.

Young men talk too much, especially about the things they cannot do.

Also, poverty has a way of making some people reason about having children. And marriage. But every Saturday and every year, guess what they're doing?

1 Like

Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by Kobojunkie: 7:54pm On Mar 28
Jeezuzpick:
■ How do you know they're common?
I grew up noticing many of those folks around even as many others turned their noses up at them like they were invisible or not to be regarded at all. lipsrsealed
Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by willyblinx(m): 7:55pm On Mar 28
pansophist:
Some have kids but end up disowning two, why the rest are just zero people.

Some have kids, and died before their kids grew. Some have kids, but the kids don't care about their parents.

Some people adopted kids, and the kids turned out to be better then their biological ones.

Just know that the future is not certain. And in any decision you make, be sure that you understand the potential challenges that will arise from there.

As a guiding principle, make sure you're not having kids as a backup for old age pension, loneliness and to make them a photocopy of the dreams you couldn't accomplish. You'll he so disappointed.



Could not have been said any better 👍

1 Like

Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by Jeezuzpick(m): 7:56pm On Mar 28
Kobojunkie:
I grew up noticing many of those folks around even as many others turned their noses up at them like they were invisible or not to be regarded at all. lipsrsealed

I'm not too different from you.

We just have different experiences.

I know of few couples with no children around or at all, but they're waaaaay in the minority.

Most childless couples I know are young, like thirties to forties.
Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by Kobojunkie: 8:15pm On Mar 28
Jeezuzpick:
■ I'm not too different from you. We just have different experiences. I know of few couples with no children around or at all, but they're waaaaay in the minority. Most childless couples I know are young, like thirties to forties.
Many of those I met growing up, even in the village, were old. They do exist! Some had already lost their last companion (partner) and were living alone at the time. Very sad stories of how having kids does not serve as a guarantee of any kind, they had. undecided
Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by Saintmanode: 8:50pm On Mar 28
You did not fall from the sky, someone gave birth to you, it commands respect, it's a glorious experience.
When you are old enough, you will understand better.
Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by lalalista: 8:54pm On Mar 28
sageb:


Men disgust you?
Really?
yes

1 Like

Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by FaceTanke: 8:55pm On Mar 28
dikings:

What kind of lame questions have you been asking here? What does it mean for one to marry his/herself?

What does it mean for a man to marry a man

For a woman to marry a tree?
Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by ceevee2003: 9:26pm On Mar 28
I hope you also do not want to have SEX
Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by Jman06(m): 9:30pm On Mar 28
jelel6:
I think to have or not to have children should be a MAJOR decision. Unfortunately, we have been programmed to get a Job, marry, and have children. Me included. So what should have been a major decision to make ends up being trivial.

But there's nothing trivial about birthing, raising, and caring for children. Not every person in the world is going to be able to commit to, and then have the capabilities to shoulder such responsibilities.

Fact is, if Nigeria was a less judgemental society. A few more people would be contented with the happiness and pride they find in other sources besides children.
Imagine if everybody has this mindset of not wanting children! Do you know that would lead to extinction of the human species from earth? Procreation is good for continuity of life and that is why it is good for people to give birth to offsprings.

Personally, the only reason I'm considering marriage is to have children. I specifically love children but I'll birth just 3 maximum and give them the best in life.

This attitude of not wanting to birth children is alien to our culture and is typical of those who "wannabe" like oyibos. We have many of such people especially in the southern part of the country. Such people forget that the oyinbo people they wannabe like have strong healthcare system and old people's homes that cater for the aged. If Nigerians with our poor healthcare system and bad economy want to copy the western lifestyle of not wanting children, then extinction would catch up with us faster.
Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by GBPUSD: 10:06pm On Mar 28
Sometimes when I stare at my 2 year old son, I have the fear of adding another just to give him the best life. I also fear my children may experience same fears as mine and as a result, I dread having many children.

The fear of failing my children is the only thing that can stop me from having children.

I want to raise responsible men and women that will contribute positively to the society and humanity at large.

I just hope my son doesn't clock ten before I have another.

1 Like

Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by jayce232: 10:06pm On Mar 28
Shaddymie:
Honestly, time will tell, I've been married for more than a decade and yet to have a child, I tried everything humanly but all to no avail, I still trust God, he'll answer me one day.
See it has not been easy, aside seeing my mates and people around me have children and I don't have, it's really getting to me that, I don't have anyone to talk to or send an errand, if I don't get it my husband will and at times I'll have to go far.
What I'm saying is, not only pressure from people will make you feel you don't have but, the boredom and not having yours to send on an errand at due time, because people will make you feel you don't have a child. Not trying to convince you, it's your choice, it is well with any decisions you choos.

I clearly understand how u feel.
But why not consider adoption?
I know adoption may not be the ultimate solution, but I clearly believe it is still better. You only get to feel the child is not biological, but every other thing a child will do will no longer be missed.
Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by Kobojunkie: 10:09pm On Mar 28
jayce232:
■ I clearly understand how u feel. But why not consider adoption? I know adoption may not be the ultimate solution, but I clearly believe it is still better. You only get to feel the child is not biological, but every other thing a child will do will no longer be missed.
Adoption is not for everyone. Did you take time to read through what she wrote at all? I would not recommend adoption to every case out there. undecided
Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by HoneySwag(f): 10:12pm On Mar 28
Rollingdollar:
You may regret it. Let me tell you someone's experience. When i was undergraduate i had one professor as friend, his wife died some yrs back without a child before her demise and after her dealth the prof refuses to remarry and have children. He said to me their no need for him to remarry since he doesn't want children. This man loves his job so much and the money keep rolling in. He built a very big duplex, has a very nice car and he is healthy. Few yrs later after i graduated and started working. I got posted to delta state , so i don't use to see him often again. This yrs i got my posting back to the state he reside and that gives me ample time to check on him. When i got their he looks old and depress. Geting closer i obverse he suffered stroke and it seem even the university forced him to retire due to his health. The first thing he manage to asked me was. Hope you are married ? I responded, yes and he added make sure you have kids now that you are young don't end up like me. I went round his house , more than six rooms they all look dirty, the whole compound look empty, the cars all parked some sold off . He said he had to deactivate most of his bank apps and ussd because most family and domestic workers he employed now steal from him because they knew he didnt have the strength to monitors most thing again. He said had it been he had a child of his own. That child might probably be the one to be in charge of most crucial things in his life now that he is old
Won't that child have his/her own life to live?? He or she can't always be around to tend to the aging parents. Wisdom is profitable to direct. You don't rely on children to be your support system in old age, that's why some old folks are being abandoned by their children. What about in situations that the children all died before their parents or cases were the children aren't buoyant enough to care for their aging parents??
People should plan their lives very well and stop putting loads of responsibilities on children that are struggling to survive.
First of all people should live a healthy life so they can be fit even in their old age to still walk and do things for themselves. Then they could have someone come around to take care of them like cook their meals, arrange the house, etc.
Having children is very good but when you have so much expectations, you may end up disappointed. What about situations the children turned out to be nuisance in the society? How many of such children remember their aging parents?

1 Like

Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by Kobojunkie: 10:23pm On Mar 28
HoneySwag:
■ Having children is very good but when you have so much expectations, you may end up disappointed. What about situations the children turned out to be nuisance in the society? How many of such children remember their aging parents?
Or with disabilities of their own and in need of care themselves? lipsrsealed

2 Likes

Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by jomarick(m): 10:50pm On Mar 28
You're just being selfish and u can't afford to share your space. You would definitely regret it when it's too late!
Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by tosyne2much(m): 10:55pm On Mar 28
You're not serious

You said you've made up your mind never to have children as they're inconsequential to you yet you opened a thread seeking people's advice whether you would regret not having children later in the future

You never serious bro
Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by staneless(m): 11:00pm On Mar 28
FaceTanke:



Is it really illegal to marry myself?


Are u trying to say legal?
Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by PaulH07: 11:07pm On Mar 28
Klass99:
When I first felt the desire to be child free and not have children I was in my 20s. Several people told me the feeling would change or I would change my mind as time goes by.

As the years went by my desire didn't wane neither did my mind change. The desire only grew stronger and my mind more convinced that motherhood is not for me.

I have no regrets so far and I don't see myself regretting the choice. Home ownership and companionship with a good man, matter to me more than biological children do.

I'm a good man also of like mind like I, so let's companionate...
Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by ashawopikin(m): 11:27pm On Mar 28
Bullfallo:
Not wanting to have a child isn’t a choice per say. I hate to put myself into pressure or do things just because others are doing it, my lifestyle has always be different from public opinion. In fact opposite of the popular views or majority behavior. I don’t send or give a Bleep what anyone think about me.

Example is that people live there live on public opinion. They create a life of public presentations just to please public and get validated but i am not of public views. I do my things the way it pleases before considering public.

If I have billions of dollars like dangote the choice might have been different. I don’t live a life of faith. I must have concrate evidence of things or resources before i made any vita decisions. I hate to borrow or beg. I live a life of comfort. I am rich and comfortable but not for many mouths. Because I don’t want to adjust resources from my lifestyle
ehen so who is now forcing you to have children? That one is your business
Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by RodgersAkpafu: 11:43pm On Mar 28
Depends on WHY you don't want to have kids .


If it is a fleeting reason, you will definitely regret it
But If its more tangible

You won't

1 Like

Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by FaceTanke: 12:24am On Mar 29
staneless:


Are u trying to say legal?

Hmmmm yeah, no
Is it legal/illegal to marry myself?
Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by LyfeJennings(m): 12:52am On Mar 29
Klass99:
When I first felt the desire to be child free and not have children I was in my 20s. Several people told me the feeling would change or I would change my mind as time goes by.

As the years went by my desire didn't wane neither did my mind change. The desire only grew stronger and my mind more convinced that motherhood is not for me.

I have no regrets so far and I don't see myself regretting the choice. Home ownership and companionship with a good man, matter to me more than biological children do.

Time no dey go anywhere
Just keep living
Time will tell
One thing that has never rushed in life is time
Body go tell U with time
Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by LyfeJennings(m): 12:54am On Mar 29
Bullfallo:
Not wanting to have a child isn’t a choice per say. I hate to put myself into pressure or do things just because others are doing it, my lifestyle has always be different from public opinion. In fact opposite of the popular views or majority behavior. I don’t send or give a Bleep what anyone think about me.

Example is that people live there live on public opinion. They create a life of public presentations just to please public and get validated but i am not of public views. I do my things the way it pleases before considering public.

If I have billions of dollars like dangote the choice might have been different. I don’t live a life of faith. I must have concrate evidence of things or resources before i made any vita decisions. I hate to borrow or beg. I live a life of comfort. I am rich and comfortable but not for many mouths. Because I don’t want to adjust resources from my lifestyle

U
I used to think like this in my earlier years but as time went by
Hmmmmmmm
Omo, if there's anything I want sooo badly at this point apart from money and good health is my own kid
Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by Uchesis: 1:19am On Mar 29
CoronaVirusPro:


Fulfillment, company and a legacy and empire to pass-on.

My kids are not a burden to me. If I am not spending on them, where else would I be spending money? As a matter of fact, nothing makes me happy than spending on my kids. The whole quest of me existing , is making them become the best, and that does not stop me from enjoying my life.

When you financially capable and buoyant, having kids is the best thing that can happen to you. Cos without them, you definitely won’t even have reason to spend.

How many days a year can you fly around the world cos you single? We talking about playing basketball and PS with your kids.
Somebody like you with this mindset cannot be a philanthropist even if you have billions.

.
If your only focus in life is spending on your children, then of what use are you to mankind? What will you be remembered for? What will be your legacy?

.
Just to train your children.


This is one of the reasons why the white man is ahead of the black man. The whites think of how to improve their lives and mankind in general, while the black man is selfish and only thinks of himself

.
grin
Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by jelel6: 1:38am On Mar 29
Jman06:
Imagine if everybody has this mindset of not wanting children! Do you know that would lead to extinction of the human species from earth? Procreation is good for continuity of life and that is why it is good for people to give birth to offsprings.

Unfortunately, I cannot fathom a world where everyone suddenly decides not to have children. Can you?


Personally, the only reason I'm considering marriage is to have children. I specifically love children but I'll birth just 3 maximum and give them the best in life.

Hmmm. So, there's indeed a formula to your wants in children. Why not 1, or 10 children?


This attitude of not wanting to birth children is alien to our culture and is typical of those who "wannabe" like oyibos. We have many of such people especially in the southern part of the country. Such people forget that the oyinbo people they wannabe like have strong healthcare system and old people's homes that cater for the aged. If Nigerians with our poor healthcare system and bad economy want to copy the western lifestyle of not wanting children, then extinction would catch up with us faster.

If extinction is the fate of humans, I'm sure we all know which people would go extinct first regardless of their population.
Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by CoronaVirusPro: 1:51am On Mar 29
Uchesis:

Somebody like you with this mindset cannot be a philanthropist even if you have billions.

.
If your only focus in life is spending on your children, then of what use are you to mankind? What will you be remembered for? What will be your legacy?

.
Just to train your children.


This is one of the reasons why the white man is ahead of the black man. The whites think of how to improve their lives and mankind in general, while the black man is selfish and only thinks of himself

.
grin

Exactly! Can’t you see Elon Musk, Jeff Bezos, Dangote, Alakija and Otedola have donated their wealth to eradicate poverty in the world.

Gibberish! So I should be working for charity. What is the white man done? Collect taxes and used it for the benefit of their citizens. So how has a Whitman used his after tax wages to benefit the world?

Whiteman my foot! Always looking for the nearest excuse to condemn his race. Wannabe!
Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by OgwuEgo: 6:00am On Mar 29
I like your way, you are brutally honest.
Lordofalmajiri:

Exactly and the poor kids will suffer for it cause he wouldn't be strong enough to take care of them when he realizes his mistakes,... Same thing happened to my mom , now I'm forced to be an adult at a young age

1 Like

Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by PropertyBuying(f): 7:15am On Mar 29
Klass99:


This two statements are contradictory. Marriage and children are life choices, as in things people do as a matter of choice, you always have a choice.
Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by noblebright1: 8:22am On Mar 29
Don't just get old is this part of the world okay. Cause nobody will take care of you

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