willyblinx:



Did your friend tell you how many other older ones did not cry saying things like that?

If at old age his desire changes. He would still be the one to experience or suffer it. Not everyone would change their desires or suffer it. There are still some that had kids and still suffer like they had none at old age.

Isorai

Fine and good, that's your choice paul sha no marry joshua selman no marry.

Klass99:


It sounds like you have a good thing going for you which is great and I congratulate you for.

If heaven asked me to name one wish they could grant me, I would say give me a sweet, wonderful and compatible companion in the form of a male man like you created Eve for Adam.

I am not enamoured with children the way majority of the population is, I am not looking to them or for them to give my life meaning or fill my heart with joy and pride (as you put it)

I want to love and be loved, give me a good man I can do life with, whether it is for 5 years or 10 years, I will take it and make the most of it. You people put too much stock in children as the almighty thing everyone should aspire to but some of us value and appreciate other things besides children.

I wish I can like your comment 10 more times. The general society places too much emphasis on happiness being dependent on having kids. Thereby putting too much pressure on those not married nor having kids.

Having a good mate and enjoying your relationship is awesome enough. I have never been a fan of doing things the way the society expects just because “they expect it to be so”.

Klass99:
When I first felt the desire to be child free and not have children I was in my 20s. Several people told me the feeling would change or I would change my mind as time goes by.

As the years went by my desire didn't wane neither did my mind change. The desire only grew stronger and my mind more convinced that motherhood is not for me.

I have no regrets so far and I don't see myself regretting the choice. Home ownership and companionship with a good man, matter to me more than biological children do.

Would you permit the man to have one or two with another woman outside without disturbing your home?

Bullfallo:
Not wanting to have a child isn’t a choice per say. I hate to put myself into pressure or do things just because others are doing it, my lifestyle has always be different from public opinion. In fact opposite of the popular views or majority behavior. I don’t send or give a Bleep what anyone think about me.

Example is that people live there live on public opinion. They create a life of public presentations just to please public and get validated but i am not of public views. I do my things the way it pleases before considering public.

If I have billions of dollars like dangote the choice might have been different. I don’t live a life of faith. I must have concrate evidence of things or resources before i made any vita decisions. I hate to borrow or beg. I live a life of comfort. I am rich and comfortable but not for many mouths. Because I don’t want to adjust resources from my lifestyle

Whenever I doubt biology, I look at the older ones. If you will replace your phone before the present one dies, you will eventually need a child. However, you said you don't need pressure and many mouths. Just get one mouth and hand it over to a Nanny. If eventually, you still don't need it. You dash him or her out to the nanny. Life is simple

Bullfallo:
Not wanting to have a child isn’t a choice per say. I hate to put myself into pressure or do things just because others are doing it, my lifestyle has always be different from public opinion. In fact opposite of the popular views or majority behavior. I don’t send or give a Bleep what anyone think about me.

Example is that people live there live on public opinion. They create a life of public presentations just to please public and get validated but i am not of public views. I do my things the way it pleases before considering public.

If I have billions of dollars like dangote the choice might have been different. I don’t live a life of faith. I must have concrate evidence of things or resources before i made any vita decisions. I hate to borrow or beg. I live a life of comfort. I am rich and comfortable but not for many mouths. Because I don’t want to adjust resources from my lifestyle

Whatever reason that is informing your decision not to have children will surely pass away and when you are old and grey and you see your siblings and friends all having their children and grandchildren there is no how the thought of "what if" will not fill your mind. In other words you will surely regret it because you are meant to be fruitfull and multiply. There is what God intended.

Why seeking public opinion on "REGRET" or not. Whatever comes you should gladly accept in future knowing fully well that it's your choice. Attempt to consider public opinion will change your life style, I encourage you to strengthen your life style especially decision NOT to have child. Time will tell either good or bad it's your choice


Ire ooooo

DeepSight:


Its like you have not jammed families out there. There can be a lot of hatred even within a family.

That's an abnormal family. I'm raising kids and I shower them with love, my own family growing up we aren't perfect but when in need that's when you see and know you got people. I am talking about a normal family and not those abnormal ones.

willyblinx:


I wish I can like your comment 10 more times. The general society places too much emphasis on happiness being dependent on having kids. Thereby putting too much pressure on those not married nor having kids.

Having a good mate and enjoying your relationship is awesome enough. I have never been a fan of doing things the way the society expects just because “they expect it to be so”.

You dey mind them. It is even the herd mentality for me and how they expect you to act like a zombie. Do as I do or do as your parents did and have children too, without questioning or reasoning things out for yourself.

Thank God for free will and the power of choice sha, I got to this point through careful thinking and self awareness. I know for a fact that children will not make me happy, the mere thought of having them, exhausts me more than it excites me.

Klass99:
When I first felt the desire to be child free and not have children I was in my 20s. Several people told me the feeling would change or I would change my mind as time goes by.

As the years went by my desire didn't wane neither did my mind change. The desire only grew stronger and my mind more convinced that motherhood is not for me.

I have no regrets so far and I don't see myself regretting the choice. Home ownership and companionship with a good man, matter to me more than biological children do.

Op, consider marrying this lady since both of you are on the same page with regards to not desiring to have children.

You can marry and be fvccking yourselves without having children. At least, you'll be spending a huge chunk of your money on condoms and contraceptive pills which is good for my profession.

No is bothered about what you really want to be or do but we want you to be good and this choice will surely hamper that.

Bullfallo:
Not wanting to have a child isn’t a choice per say. I hate to put myself into pressure or do things just because others are doing it, my lifestyle has always be different from public opinion. In fact opposite of the popular views or majority behavior. I don’t send or give a Bleep what anyone think about me.

Example is that people live there live on public opinion. They create a life of public presentations just to please public and get validated but i am not of public views. I do my things the way it pleases before considering public.

If I have billions of dollars like dangote the choice might have been different. I don’t live a life of faith. I must have concrate evidence of things or resources before i made any vita decisions. I hate to borrow or beg. I live a life of comfort. I am rich and comfortable but not for many mouths. Because I don’t want to adjust resources from my lifestyle

Since You have made up your Mind and You said you don't need public Validation,
Why Did you Write it Here?

Are You Having Second Thoughts?
Are you now needing Validation?

Just Asking....

Bullfallo:
Not wanting to have a child isn’t a choice per say. I hate to put myself into pressure or do things just because others are doing it, my lifestyle has always be different from public opinion. In fact opposite of the popular views or majority behavior. I don’t send or give a Bleep what anyone think about me.

Example is that people live there live on public opinion. They create a life of public presentations just to please public and get validated but i am not of public views. I do my things the way it pleases before considering public.

If I have billions of dollars like dangote the choice might have been different. I don’t live a life of faith. I must have concrate evidence of things or resources before i made any vita decisions. I hate to borrow or beg. I live a life of comfort. I am rich and comfortable but not for many mouths. Because I don’t want to adjust resources from my lifestyle

SMH. Kadoso Mutairu aka seunmsg! SMH again and leaves the thread.

Klass99:
When I first felt the desire to be child free and not have children I was in my 20s. Several people told me the feeling would change or I would change my mind as time goes by.

As the years went by my desire didn't wane neither did my mind change. The desire only grew stronger and my mind more convinced that motherhood is not for me.

I have no regrets so far and I don't see myself regretting the choice. Home ownership and companionship with a good man, matter to me more than biological children do.

and I am beginning to wonder what type of good man will marry a woman that does not want children, especially when having children is now the major reason men are getting married ,,anybody that does not want children both biological or adopted is copying the oyibo lifestyle,those people have homes that take care of elderly people but here in Nigeria you will die and rot to skeleton on your bed nobody will give a shit about you, offsprings is the best old age insurance policy in Nigeria,when your strength will fail,your eyesight,health,mind,that is when you need a loyal person by your side

Bullfallo:
Not wanting to have a child isn’t a choice per say. I hate to put myself into pressure or do things just because others are doing it, my lifestyle has always be different from public opinion. In fact opposite of the popular views or majority behavior. I don’t send or give a Bleep what anyone think about me.

Example is that people live there live on public opinion. They create a life of public presentations just to please public and get validated but i am not of public views. I do my things the way it pleases before considering public.

If I have billions of dollars like dangote the choice might have been different. I don’t live a life of faith. I must have concrate evidence of things or resources before i made any vita decisions. I hate to borrow or beg. I live a life of comfort. I am rich and comfortable but not for many mouths. Because I don’t want to adjust resources from my lifestyle

Forget wife
Just have kids...

My little advice

Rollingdollar:
You may regret it. Let me tell you someone's experience. When i was undergraduate i had one professor as friend, his wife died some yrs back without a child before her demise and after her dealth the prof refuses to remarry and have children. He said to me their no need for him to remarry since he doesn't want children. This man loves his job so much and the money keep rolling in. He built a very big duplex, has a very nice car and he is healthy. Few yrs later after i graduated and started working. I got posted to delta state , so i don't use to see him often again. This yrs i got my posting back to the state he reside and that gives me ample time to check on him. When i got their he looks old and depress. Geting closer i obverse he suffered stroke and it seem even the university forced him to retire due to his health. The first thing he manage to asked me was. Hope you are married ? I responded, yes and he added make sure you have kids now that you are young don't end up like me. I went round his house , more than six rooms they all look dirty, the whole compound look empty, the cars all parked some sold off . He said he had to deactivate most of his bank apps and ussd because most family and domestic workers he employed now steal from him because they knew he didnt have the strength to monitors most thing again. He said had it been he had a child of his own. That child might probably be the one to be in charge of most crucial things in his life now that he is old

Life life life..
How can a man survive without having kids at old age 😞

Rollingdollar:
You may regret it. Let me tell you someone's experience. When i was undergraduate i had one professor as friend, his wife died some yrs back without a child before her demise and after her dealth the prof refuses to remarry and have children. He said to me their no need for him to remarry since he doesn't want children. This man loves his job so much and the money keep rolling in. He built a very big duplex, has a very nice car and he is healthy. Few yrs later after i graduated and started working. I got posted to delta state , so i don't use to see him often again. This yrs i got my posting back to the state he reside and that gives me ample time to check on him. When i got their he looks old and depress. Geting closer i obverse he suffered stroke and it seem even the university forced him to retire due to his health. The first thing he manage to asked me was. Hope you are married ? I responded, yes and he added make sure you have kids now that you are young don't end up like me. I went round his house , more than six rooms they all look dirty, the whole compound look empty, the cars all parked some sold off . He said he had to deactivate most of his bank apps and ussd because most family and domestic workers he employed now steal from him because they knew he didnt have the strength to monitors most thing again. He said had it been he had a child of his own. That child might probably be the one to be in charge of most crucial things in his life now that he is old

Damn! This story touched me mehn!

You don't follow public opinion but you are here seeking public opinion if you will regret no having children sorry bro you are confused

It's your choice, person wey no get children dey live...

CoronaVirusPro:
The future will educate you better. I don’t think anyone can educate you about that.

If you really want to have a glimpse of what it looks like, check all those class of people that said same in their youthful ages, reality humbled them in their old age and started having kids at the dying hour.

Reality will “Personally” dawn on you. How you accept it, will determine your mental state and response.

Just be patient. 20 years from now will tell a lot.

Thank you, Thank you. There is energy to waste jare. This is how I deal with people in my cycle. Once I know you are stubborn, I don't waste my time oo. Reality and life will do justice.

The few people I have seen who got old without children around my neighborhood are not something one will wish to live through.
Their live is just too boring with no one to keep them busy.
Even the ones with maid are not happy

Klass99:
When I first felt the desire to be child free and not have children I was in my 20s. Several people told me the feeling would change or I would change my mind as time goes by.

As the years went by my desire didn't wane neither did my mind change. The desire only grew stronger and my mind more convinced that motherhood is not for me.

I have no regrets so far and I don't see myself regretting the choice. Home ownership and companionship with a good man, matter to me more than biological children do.

You are smart. I like the way you see life.

Me I want to marry oh!.

If you're a young, good looking, productive lady dm make we marry ASAP 😆

No matter what you have to meet up with the law of continuity, this is the law of creation, if your parents have thought the same way you're thinking the same you're thinking.

Bullfallo:
Not wanting to have a child isn’t a choice per say. I hate to put myself into pressure or do things just because others are doing it, my lifestyle has always be different from public opinion. In fact opposite of the popular views or majority behavior. I don’t send or give a Bleep what anyone think about me.

Example is that people live there live on public opinion. They create a life of public presentations just to please public and get validated but i am not of public views. I do my things the way it pleases before considering public.

If I have billions of dollars like dangote the choice might have been different. I don’t live a life of faith. I must have concrate evidence of things or resources before i made any vita decisions. I hate to borrow or beg. I live a life of comfort. I am rich and comfortable but not for many mouths. Because I don’t want to adjust resources from my lifestyle

There is nothing you can tell me You have fear inside you and it has made you to become less of yourself. Get over it and become real you.

Verbtips:
Fine and good,
that's your choice
paul sha no marry
joshua selman no marry.

Dude, no finality to Joshua Selman's case. He is just 43. He can decide to marry in a couple of years or next year. I have a friend that used to always say he would never marry in his 20s, and even in his 30s and early 40s he kept saying it. I was shocked when I saw his wedding pictures at 43. The thing shock me.

I think to have or not to have children should be a MAJOR decision. Unfortunately, we have been programmed to get a Job, marry, and have children. Me included. So what should have been a major decision to make ends up being trivial.

But there's nothing trivial about birthing, raising, and caring for children. Not every person in the world is going to be able to commit to, and then have the capabilities to shoulder such responsibilities.

Fact is, if Nigeria was a less judgemental society. A few more people would be contented with the happiness and pride they find in other sources besides children.

I want to have children but I don't want to marry. I don't like living with a man. They disgust me sometimes. I love being on my own

Yes, you will most likely regret it. I used to think like you too when i was in my 20s and even in my 30s. But it hit me some time in my early 40s.

Humans are social animals by nature...even though I've always been a loner, I still loved some time with close friends and family once in a while. But when those family and friends start building their own family and no longer have time for you, you start having an existential crisis...you start wondering if you're really making the right decision by not getting married and having kids.

There are little joys that comes with being a parent that you can't quantify. And I'm not talking about what some people have been saying above like having someone to send on errands or having someone to take care of you when you're old. That's cool, but there are other little things like seeing a human being that's a part of you, and seeing yourself in him...let me give you an example.

During my late 20s and most part of my 30s, I was away from my family...I hardly came home. So when I started getting closer to my parents again in my 40s, I would some times drive them to church. I look a lot like my dad and his friends are always surprised that he has another son that they never knew, that is doing okay for himself, and looks just like how he looked when he was my age. When they start going on and on about the resemblance and they ask questions about me with him there, I always see that joy in his eyes...that fulfilment. As I said it can't be quantified.

When me and my other siblings visit my parents and they bring their kids, you can't explain the joy they feel. It wasn't easy all through the journey, but right now in their late 70s/early 80s, they're fulfilled. By the way, I'm not married...I'm getting married later this year. I'm 43.

I don't regret not marrying early...I had to learn some lessons in life. I'm just happy I made up my mind before I got to 50.

Klass99:


It sounds like you have a good thing going for you which is great and I congratulate you for.

If heaven asked me to name one wish they could grant me, I would say give me a sweet, wonderful and compatible companion in the form of a male man like you created Eve for Adam.

I am not enamoured with children the way majority of the population is, I am not looking to them or for them to give my life meaning or fill my heart with joy and pride (as you put it)

I want to love and be loved, give me a good man I can do life with, whether it is for 5 years or 10 years, I will take it and make the most of it. You people put too much stock in children as the almighty thing everyone should aspire to but some of us value and appreciate other things besides children.

Not so, my sister. I won't tell people who can't have kids to kill themselves, for instance. I have close friends who are childless and really want kids.

However, I can see the old people around me and I know for sure that their grown kids mean a lot in their lives in their old age.

The choice is up to u