Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 3,151,901 members, 7,814,050 topics. Date: Wednesday, 01 May 2024 at 03:52 AM

Marriage Is Gradually Losing Its Relevance - Family - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Marriage Is Gradually Losing Its Relevance (29872 Views)

The Year Is Gradually Coming To An End. What Is Your Achievement? / My Marriage Of 10 Months Is Gradually Crashing / Help: My Father Is Killing My Mom Gradually (2) (3) (4)

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (Reply) (Go Down)

Marriage Is Gradually Losing Its Relevance by uche87(m): 5:24pm On Apr 15
Going by the market trends, marriage/relationship advisers and others profiting from related fields might be going out of business in the coming years. If you are making money from that industry, your days might be numbered, and this is not a threat. This is because people’s disposition towards marriage is changing globally. The United States for example has witnessed a 60% drop in the rate of marriage since the 1970s according to a CNBC report. The numbers also remain disturbing in China, Japan, the United Kingdom and other notable countries across the world. The data from Africa is not reliable, but the continent might be sticking to its guns for cultural and religious reasons, I suppose. At a certain age, a young adult is coerced to get married by his/her parents or the community. The pressure might be subtle and low, but it is sustained.

Marriage appears to be losing its essence gradually. A recent research organised in the United States by Yale Sociologist - Hannah Tessler and colleagues, showed single women were not open to long-term and committed romantic relationships anymore. Only men were interested but sadly, the research did not reveal the motivating factor behind the interest of the male participants. Sexual factors and nothing futuristic or concrete might have driven it.

The fate of marriage’s essence is multi-factorial and it would take another long article to explain it. But basically, marriage is capital-intensive to manage and so emotionally demanding. Additionally, feminism and formal education are the bane of marriage as an institution, but we are not ready for this conversation. Marriage which is seemingly supposed to be peaceful has now become a battleground. It is like a court of law where lawyers argue to determine who is right or wrong. The UK experience appears worse. I know there is a bit of coverage about the weaknesses of Nigerian marriages in the UK, but there are several more people not speaking up out of respect for their marriage, spouses, hope for improvement, stigma/shame, and privacy concerns.

In the past, you needed patience to make your marriage work, today patience is not enough anymore. What is required is now long-suffering. Some men have recommended intentionally playing the fool while allowing your wife to have her way. It is not an easy task to be the ‘happy fool’.
Societal factors in the UK are affecting African marriages. The environment gives women so much power, both financially, in litigation and expression. The thing about power is that it gets easily abused even when the user has good intentions. In no time, one party becomes the oppressor and the other - a victim.

I have spoken with some married men over here and the story seems the same. They are not enjoying their marriage, but they are only enduring it. The bitter truth men have to understand is that you can hardly do enough, and most times you might never get credit for what you do. This doesn’t mean you married the wrong woman. She also often feels she is doing too much, especially juggling between managing the kids and her job. There might be a self-entitlement in there too.

Controversial social media influencer, Andrew Tate, is milking the existing excesses of marital life to propagate perceived misogynistic views. He is promoting what is termed toxic masculinity on social media. He has demystified marriage and his views appear to be spreading faster than the coronavirus virus in early 2020. Most abroad-based men now see marriage as a bondage. They want to nick some benefits off it, but not venture into it. The plan is to derive pleasure from a romantic relationship with a woman, have a child if possible, and maintain access to different creatures in skirts.

The UK boasts of many single women who are remarkably beautiful. Most of them are not as lonely as the public perception paints it. They have active sexual partners but the irony is that these men would never entertain the marriage conversation. Even if the woman stands on her head and exhibits the ‘helicopter Style’, the marriage topic remains banned and forbidden. With celebrities with massive social media influence avoiding the marriage conversation, while others are rushing out of it like a burning building, marriage might become obsolete in the next couple of decades. Considering the current dynamics, there is too much pain for men than real gains.


Osahon George Osayimwen writes from England.

48 Likes 7 Shares

Re: Marriage Is Gradually Losing Its Relevance by eedhrisademola(m): 5:28pm On Apr 15
[quote author=uche87 post=129454528]Going by the market trends, marriage/relationship advisers and others profiting from related fields might be going out of business in the coming years. If you are making money from that industry, your days might be numbered, and this is not a threat. This is because people’s disposition towards marriage is changing globally. The United States for example has witnessed a 60% drop in the rate of marriage since the 1970s according to a CNBC report. The numbers also remain disturbing in China, Japan, the United Kingdom and other notable countries across the world. The data from Africa is not reliable, but the continent might be sticking to its guns for cultural and religious reasons, I suppose. At a certain age, a young adult is coerced to get married by his/her parents or the community. The pressure might be subtle and low, but it is sustained.

Marriage appears to be losing its essence gradually. A recent research organised in the United States by Yale.
OKAY, NOTED.
Re: Marriage Is Gradually Losing Its Relevance by Kobojunkie: 6:29pm On Apr 15
uche87:
Going by the market trends, marriage/relationship advisers and others profiting from related fields might be going out of business in the coming years. If you are making money from that industry, your days might be numbered, and this is not a threat. This is because people’s disposition towards marriage is changing globally. The United States for example has witnessed a 60% drop in the rate of marriage since the 1970s according to a CNBC report. The numbers also remain disturbing in China, Japan, the United Kingdom and other notable countries across the world. The data from Africa is not reliable, but the continent might be sticking to its guns for cultural and religious reasons, I suppose. At a certain age, a young adult is coerced to get married by his/her parents or the community. The pressure might be subtle and low, but it is sustained.
Marriage appears to be losing its essence gradually. A recent research organized in the United States by Yale Sociologist - Hannah Tessler and colleagues, showed single women were not open to long-term and committed romantic relationships anymore. Only men were interested but sadly, the research did not reveal the motivating factor behind the interest of the male participants. Sexual factors and nothing futuristic or concrete might have driven it.
The business of marriage is in jeopardy because it is no longer as competitive as it used to be. The benefits that used to separate the married from the competition are no longer apparent — or even of value— and as such the attraction continues to diminish. undecided

17 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Marriage Is Gradually Losing Its Relevance by Picklejar: 7:51pm On Apr 15
What really is marriage? Marriage is the "legal" joining of two people, but I go further to say that without the presence of offsprings, is marriage really a necessity?

With the influx of single mothers and deadbeat dads in our society, it's no surprise that emotionally damaged children are being mass-produced.

Removing one of either parent from the lives of children simply because it is comfortable, is a master plan to speedrun the destruction of society.

98 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Marriage Is Gradually Losing Its Relevance by nairalee(m): 7:51pm On Apr 15
What exactly is the attraction for marriage now?

Loneliness? Life is no longer as boring as in the 60's (u can now create your own fun in your own bedroom)

Procreation? With the advent of baby mamas we've realized it's cheaper and easier to get children without marriage

Sex? U can simply get sex now with small change without even stressing yourself.

Cooking? . With technology u can order any food of your dreams in 30mins or less.

Domestic chores?
U can simply get a maid or machines to do basic chores.

Many of the past incentives for marriage are now outdated plus all the TERRIBLE news we hear/read daily.


Marriage is no longer as marketable as before

136 Likes 16 Shares

Re: Marriage Is Gradually Losing Its Relevance by pocohantas(f): 7:51pm On Apr 15
To you...

27 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Marriage Is Gradually Losing Its Relevance by bigdammyj: 7:52pm On Apr 15
Reading.

1 Like

Re: Marriage Is Gradually Losing Its Relevance by cutecommend: 7:52pm On Apr 15
If people's first and best love was their spouses, and if the first love of their spouses was them, and if their first ever sex experiences was between them and their spouse in marriage; and the first ever sex experience of their spouses was with them in marriage. And if husbands are hardworking, loving teachable and kind, and wives are submissive, teachable and respectful, maybe marriage will be better...

102 Likes 9 Shares

Re: Marriage Is Gradually Losing Its Relevance by tollyboy5(m): 7:52pm On Apr 15
Re: Marriage Is Gradually Losing Its Relevance by iichidodo: 7:52pm On Apr 15
In an ultra conservative society as ours, marriage remains sacred...Well, if you don't mind having to feed and quarter some wench and her brood, knowing fully well that you just might not enjoy the fruits of your labour in that marriage venture....

6 Likes

Re: Marriage Is Gradually Losing Its Relevance by Hndrrxxx(m): 7:52pm On Apr 15
Ggg
Re: Marriage Is Gradually Losing Its Relevance by CharlesofJesus: 7:52pm On Apr 15
H
Re: Marriage Is Gradually Losing Its Relevance by DarkLover: 7:53pm On Apr 15
I'm getting married next year to have a firsthand view. Yeah, marriage is losing its relevance but some marriages are still a good sight to behold, mine would be one too smiley

112 Likes 12 Shares

Re: Marriage Is Gradually Losing Its Relevance by vibbb: 7:53pm On Apr 15
Lots of people (Ladies) miss interpret the through meaning of feminism and that has been a major set back to family life. Once you are being infected with feminism virus family life tends to have no true meaning any more. Most women who are crusaders of the so called feminism don't understand the through concept and applications.

5 Likes

Re: Marriage Is Gradually Losing Its Relevance by admissionrunz: 7:54pm On Apr 15
You're 100 percent right

5 Likes

Re: Marriage Is Gradually Losing Its Relevance by sweetTai(m): 7:54pm On Apr 15
Marriage is very relevant amongst matured people.

38 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Marriage Is Gradually Losing Its Relevance by NetBizguy: 7:54pm On Apr 15
V
Re: Marriage Is Gradually Losing Its Relevance by TooResilient(f): 7:54pm On Apr 15
I couldn't agree less. When I was growing up, having kids out of wedlock was an abomination. Any girl/lady in such a situation is terribly looked down on.

But as it seems today, people have undervalued the marriage institutions. Men just want to have kids without being bound to a particular woman.

Women are advised to just get a man to impregnate her so she can have children whether the man stays or not.

In the next few years, just watch. Humans will start living like animals, just f^ck anyone and have children, no sacred commitment

34 Likes 1 Share

Re: Marriage Is Gradually Losing Its Relevance by Skyfornia(m): 7:54pm On Apr 15
If you watch your pot your food will not burn.
~ African Proverb

17 Likes 1 Share

Re: Marriage Is Gradually Losing Its Relevance by tefishy(m): 7:55pm On Apr 15
undecided
It's because a set of people think it's only about divk and pvssy

8 Likes

Re: Marriage Is Gradually Losing Its Relevance by Kenneth10110(m): 7:55pm On Apr 15
high divorce rates, marriage dissatisfaction, and financial strain that may occur from overspending or the high costs of raising children, Paternity fraud and how many of the current tik tok girls are worth settling down with. Shiuu

18 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Marriage Is Gradually Losing Its Relevance by oluwaseyi0: 7:55pm On Apr 15
Marriage will always be relevant

13 Likes 4 Shares

Re: Marriage Is Gradually Losing Its Relevance by TonyeBarcanista(m): 7:55pm On Apr 15
Kindly be specific sir... The world doesn't begin and end in Europe, Canada and United States.

For proper perspective, the institution of marriage in the West has lost its value due to their matriarchal nature, LGBTAIA+++ and others that are against family values.

However, marriages in Africa, Middle East, Russia, Asia and several other conservative societies have remained intact due to the presence of these family values that are lacking in so-called liberal societies.

You cannot be in UK or Canada and expect a marriage to be like when you were in Nigeria or Ghana. This is the reality, Japa has its downside. Liberal societies don't give a damn about family values, unlike conservative societies.

Cheers

91 Likes 12 Shares

Re: Marriage Is Gradually Losing Its Relevance by salbis(m): 7:55pm On Apr 15
Marriage is still and will ever remain relevant in this part of the globe.

28 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Marriage Is Gradually Losing Its Relevance by Obajemu(m): 7:55pm On Apr 15
Poverty is the cause why marriage is loosing relevance, this is because entitlement girls are the remaining we have outside now. Whereby entering into relationships is like venture to them

Since their parent can’t take care of them they believe someone’s son will do what their parent can’t do

therefore guys are not ready to marry girls that have no future, girls that can’t make impact and they are the ones remain in our society now

26 Likes 1 Share

Re: Marriage Is Gradually Losing Its Relevance by gbolswag(m): 7:55pm On Apr 15
This is accurate
Re: Marriage Is Gradually Losing Its Relevance by NaijaCover(m): 7:56pm On Apr 15
No Be Small Thing ooooo

1 Like

Re: Marriage Is Gradually Losing Its Relevance by Glimpsetv: 7:56pm On Apr 15
Well, I think it's because people don't go into relationships with the right motives these days. Also, most people are not really prepared for it; they rush in, and that's why they always rush out.

In all, nothing beats choosing the right partner. Don't oversize; choose your size and be content.





https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7hSDLYk0Zb4

This is an eye opener, know what you want in any relationship; marriage or just friendship. Always have a clear definition and be straight forward.....this guy here knew what he wanted and made his move.

I know some of you will say this can't happen in Nigeria, but it's all about making the right moves.

4 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Marriage Is Gradually Losing Its Relevance by EreluRoz: 7:56pm On Apr 15
Nonsense

Only damaged people see marriage that way. If your parents had that mindset you won't be in existence.

Trying so hard to discredit marriage while applauding unlawful cohabitation

28 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Marriage Is Gradually Losing Its Relevance by Musty112: 7:56pm On Apr 15
One of the leading reason is that marriage is expensive while sex is as cheap as can be!

1 Like

Re: Marriage Is Gradually Losing Its Relevance by Honestey: 7:56pm On Apr 15
It has metamorphosed into a tricky union where a wife is constantly trying to outsmart the husband and vice versa.

29 Likes 4 Shares

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (Reply)

My Only Brother Has Been Afflicted With Mental Illness Because Of Land / Help With PHCN Wahala / Picture Of My Son Preparing For School For The First Time

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 36
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.