Dont know if this topic has been here before but i will really love to know,

I keep wondering why this happens  to almost all the male species. A man who is doing well in all standards, has a wonderful home and kids, business or job triving very well, and would do anything to keep his wife happy, nothing lacking,  SUDDENLY tragedy strikes!!! He loses his job or his business suffers major set back and he cannot afford to do all he was during before.

He suddenly turns into something else, some become verbally abusive, some become drunkards, THEY ENTIRELY LOOSE IT . Every single sentence that comes out of the wife's mouth is translated into a million  things that is escalated to big issues. I know of a family that their father lost all he had to one of the banks that went down. This was a man who we all respected in the area, he turned into a drunkard, started beating his wife, he later moved out of the house to God knows where, the wife moved out of their duplex in one of the choice areas in the vicinity as she couldnt afford to pay the rent into a 2 rooms in another place with 5 kids . He came back to his family after almost 3years!!!! He picked up but he never remained the same, unfortunately he later passed on. WHy does this happen to men? why dont they believe that trials dont last forever

Please serious replies.

..

@OP,
Men lose it because most women are not understanding!
When a man fails to bring home the bacon,there is a limit to the female endurance and before you know it she is running her mouth and calling the poor man all kinds of names.
No man can stand for his manhood to be questioned hence the degeneration.
Lots of women fall out of love once the man fails to provide,which translates to the fact that money helps to nurture love in a home.
On the other hand a manthat loses his job and resorts to drinking is not helping issues and probably is weak naturally-beating up your wife because you lost your job is not going to get you employed,although some women have venom on their tongues and probably asked to be whacked.
Moral of the story:Try not to lose your job or go into bankruptcy!

chaircover:

Its a sad but true fact. Many men are unable to deal with financial setbacks and they sadly tend to take out their frustrations on their dearest and nearest which is totally wrong.

Many of their wives are supportive but the men are so far gone they see everythng the wife says or does as undemining their authority.

Both husband and wife are victims of circumstance and it cant be easy for either of them.

I do feel for men too because it cant be easy holdng the weight of the family on their shoulders. A woman can decide to stay at home and no one will call her lazy but if a man decides to stay at home he will be called lazy.

I pray that my husband will always have the financial edge over me cos I dont want us to be in that situation at all.

Awwwwww, isn't that sweet?
@Topic, it is almost instinctive I think. However, there are some other men who are happy to live-off their wives (totally shameful of course). It depends on the maturity of the couple and the love they have for each other. If a man knows that his wife still respects him and is there for him despite his predicament, it will go a long way in easing his pain because most men who lose their wealth and start misbehaving at home end-up with some other woman. You wonder why?

I would suggest it is because it boosts their egos and those women are very welcoming when the wife may be too busy to provide emotional support to the man. Of course, it is unfair to the wife and kids but it happens!

Richvkunt:

@OP,
Men lose it because most women are not understanding![color=#000099][/color]When a man fails to bring home the bacon,there is a limit to the female endurance and before you know it she is running her mouth and calling the poor man all kinds of names.

hmmmmmm reaally sad. thats the propblem. you have quikly blamed it on the woman. wao!

well, i have seen situations where the woman is very supportive and strives to put food on the table as the husband continues in his destructive extreme self pity. I have seen the women stand by their husband despite everything. and then one day when things pick up, the husband buy her something special to thank her for standing by home throuh t all . after putting his family through hell.

the story i wrote, the woman kept searching for her husband all through the 3years that he disappeared> she never gave up and when he showed up, she never questioned him. she welcomed him into their 2 bedroom and made sure his children never lost their respect for him, even till he died.

i agree that some women are just not it. words cant describe them but im concerned about the ones who's wife are there through it all

The man acts that way cos he feels he is a failure. All he needs at that particular point in time is for his wife to encourage him, love him more and make him understand that he has done his best and that there is always a God who would bring him back on his feet again.

Some women dont seem to know how to handle such problems. That is why most men go wako! O ma se o!

2shuz:

Dont know if this topic has been here before but i will really love to know,

I keep wondering why this happens  to almost all the male species. A man who is doing well in all standards, has a wonderful home and kids, business or job triving very well, and would do anything to keep his wife happy, nothing lacking,  SUDDENLY tragedy strikes!!! He loses his job or his business suffers major set back and he cannot afford to do all he was during before.

He suddenly turns into something else, some become verbally abusive, some become drunkards, THEY ENTIRELY LOOSE IT . Every single sentence that comes out of the wife's mouth is translated into a million  things that is escalated to big issues. I know of a family that their father lost all he had to one of the banks that went down. This was a man who we all respected in the area, he turned into a drunkard, started beating his wife, he later moved out of the house to God knows where, the wife moved out of their duplex in one of the choice areas in the vicinity as she couldnt afford to pay the rent into a 2 rooms in another place with 5 kids . He came back to his family after almost 3years!!!! He picked up but he never remained the same, unfortunately he later passed on. WHy does this happen to men? why dont they believe that trials dont last forever

Please serious replies.

Richvkunt:

@OP,
Men lose it because most women are not understanding!
When a man fails to bring home the bacon,there is a limit to the female endurance and before you know it she is running her mouth and calling the poor man all kinds of names.
No man can stand for his manhood to be questioned hence the degeneration.
Lots of women fall out of love once the man fails to provide,which translates to the fact that money helps to nurture love in a home.
On the other hand a manthat loses his job and resorts to drinking is not helping issues and probably is weak naturally-beating up your wife because you lost your job is not going to get you employed,although some women have venom on their tongues and probably asked to be whacked.
Moral of the story:Try not to lose your job or go into bankruptcy!

2shuz:

hmmmmmm reaally sad. thats the propblem. you have quikly blamed it on the woman. wao!

well, i have seen situations where the woman is very supportive and strives to put food on the table as the husband continues in his destructive extreme self pity. I have seen the women stand by their husband despite everything. and then one day when things pick up, the husband buy her something special to thank her for standing by home throuh t all . after putting his family through hell.

the story i wrote, the woman kept searching for her husband all through the 3years that he disappeared> she never gave up and when he showed up, she never questioned him. she welcomed him into their 2 bedroom and made sure his children never lost their respect for him, even till he died.

i agree that some women are just not it. words cant describe them but im concerned about the ones who's wife are there through it all

My dear did you care to read the second part of my post at all before jumping on your feminist horse?
Yes there are certain women that help their husbands out when the going gets rough but what is the percentage?
Men are the main bread winners in the family and if they lose their jobs or finances the women are expected to help them out till they find their feet again but sadly this is not always the case and for lots of women immediately things get rough they tend to run their men down as being useless and dum.b for losing their jobs.
However as I said above a man who whaccks his wife is not helping issues because the beat downs and drunkeness is not gonna give you your job back!

iice:

Because people equate a man's financial status with his 'manness' (for lack of a better word).

How right you are.

This is the result of the 'system' we were all raised in. So you can blame the system

A 'responsible' man is one who is able to take care of his family

He becomes irresponsible when he cannot.

The same way a lot of ladies cant handle the fact that they are the breadwinners in the family. Even the phrase 'bread winner' was coined out of the head-tail 'system'

Again, it is the system.

Chaircover, thank you for that prayer.

@ richvkunt, this is not being a feminist reaction. I don't believe that cursing people is the right way to make a point. Sorry I came out that way, wasn't intended.

People are alwys so quick to pass the blame of my misfortune to the nearest person that looks fit to carry and I that's what I assumed u you did. Maybe that's what causes the reaction.
Even if society thrinks so, whatever happens in a family stays in the family except you rush out to tell friends. So why would what the society thinks destroy a marriage and cut of a helping hand. Aren't people supposed to be stronger or try to be stronger in the tine of trail and its usually easier when they have support.

We have terrible wives, but what of the good ones.

ℓ☺ℓ

At this stage it is not just about putting food on the table. What the man needs more than ever is support. Not pity but support to get his life moving again.
This is not necessarily achieved by doing everything for the man but also by giving him a loving push out of his depression.
Years back we were confronted with a similar situation. I made sure that I kept my house as usual doing everything I had always done giving him time to let it all sink in. After that i told him clearly i did not want my kids to come home and meet their dad at home so he had to get himself something doing. This was not just about the pay for all I care it could be a voluntary job, further education but he needed to move and not sink in self pity. He initially felt i was being hard but he later thanked me for it.
It is a hard blow on a man loosing that which he thinks makes him a man. It ids important to get u and try to make the best out of the situation.