I am a european married to a nigerian (yoruba).
A while ago my Father-In.Law died, my Husband has gone back directley and now i want to travel for the burial.
My Question is now, is there anything i can do to show the last Respect? What are the Yoruba Tradition about a burial?

shut up and go away white woman.we will skin yo alive and eat your heart.

PAGAN  9JA:

shut up and go away white woman.we will skin yo alive and eat your heart.

What a very disgusting thing to say. understanding that you're not Yoruba and you dont know the culture, why not simply keep your fingers off the keyboard?

You people on NL are getting more disgusting by the day.

@Poster

There are numerous ways, but like someone said, ask your husband for better understand. Or other Nigerian friends you may have.
It's not just what you say, but how you say it. I wish i had more time to elaborate more.
Actualy just came in here to respond to that PAGAN.

@OP,Speaking as a Nigerian,I'd say:
Your presence alone shows you care.

Stand solidly with ur husband,support him,ask him how you'd be of help.

If you have SIL's,MIL and you guys share a cordial relationship,stay close and tag along with them.ask them questions too,don't be too pushy,loud or try to show them that you know it all even when they say or do things u "think" does not make sense.

Lastly,don't forget to put on your aso-ebi.ask your husband abt that.

You already know you don't greet elders standing right?You stoop to conquer.

@poster.

Just be there and greet everybody in there in a very calm mood. Don't fast forward on anything, wear a very simple dress similar to those that mourning there, Also don't forget to sit with women of the house when they are sitting and be quiet, simply shows that you are mourning along with them. But always taggy your hubby.

Good luck.

Join other women in cooking,help in serving meals,pick up money sprayed during dancing and dont show off too much.

Simple, You should come well dressed in a coffin

PAGAN 9JA:

shut up and go away white woman.we will skin yo alive and eat your heart.

PAGAN 9JA:

shut up and go away white woman.we will skin yo alive and eat your heart.

A true son of Oduduwa will never say such a thing. It shows you are not a Yoruba, because Yoruba are respected for their hospitality and tolerance. Beside we know the tribe that do such thing from history. It never happen in Yoruba land.

bluetooth has said alot if the wives bought ankara pls wear the same ankara with them expect your husband and other male child are wearing the same cloth with their wife and if the man is lower into grave follow then cry or pretend to cry people will talk about you for a long time to come

put on black clothes without any adornment and stay indoors mostly. You are supposed to mourn your husband for 40 days

^^^^ No be her husband die ke! I'm surprised you found it difficult to read OP's 3-line post.

araba1:

bluetooth has said alot if the wives bought ankara pls wear the same ankara with them expect your husband and other male child are wearing the same cloth with their wife and if the man is lower into grave follow then cry or pretend to cry people will talk about you for a long time to come

lol @ bolded

@Shadrach77, it wasnt her husband bt father inlaw.
@poster, stay wt d women cooking nd be beside ur hubby at d burial site.

come ask me in my bedroom, Bleep d question

@Poster! Just be yourself,Beg your hubby to watch your back and Above all, DON'T FORM.

Iya ctjs:

I am a european married to a nigerian (yoruba).
A while ago my Father-In.Law died, my Husband has gone back directley and now i want to travel for the burial.
My Question is now, is there anything i can do to show the last Respect? What are the Yoruba Tradition about a burial?

PAGAN  9JA:

shut up and go away white woman.we will skin yo alive and eat your heart.

Ileke-IdI:

What a very disgusting thing to say. understanding that you're not Yoruba and you dont know the culture, why not simply keep your fingers off the keyboard?

You people on NL are getting more disgusting by the day.

@Poster

There are numerous ways, but like someone said, ask your husband for better understand. Or other Nigerian friends you may have.
It's not just what you say, but how you say it. I wish i had more time to elaborate more.
Actualy just came in here to respond to that PAGAN.

For years, all I did on NL was come on occasionally and read. I finally decided to join so I could lay down my opinions too . . . . . I'm disappointed. Its a mad house and theres unbelievable disrespect and crassness, not by the majority, but by a very vocal and ignorant minority.

Thanks for some serious answers, not serious one i am just overlooking!

@ Natascha, of course, I will ask my Husband, but he is already in Nigeria so I will ask him end of next week, when i am going to travel, just thought i can get some Informations before!

@ifyalways, thanks for your info, let me ask you, how do I great the eldest? My Father In Law has been the eldest of his Village, but i only talk to him often on phone, never meet him physicaly.
The cloth for us is already choosen and bought it just nee to be sewn.

So thank you very much for all those one who had gave me a tip!

nogames:

A true son of Oduduwa will never say such  a thing. It shows you are not a Yoruba, because Yoruba are respected for their hospitality and tolerance.  Beside we know the tribe that do such thing from history. It never happen in Yoruba land.

ofcourse im not Yoruba! i am Hausa. ENOUGH OF THIS HOSPITALITY. THAT IS WHAT WE HAVE NIGERIAN BEEN DOING PAST 300 YRS. and in then we end up get r.aped by them colonizers. these dirty white peoples have no respect for us tribal peoples. they sleep around with our peoples and they will slowly break us down just like they did with Native American peoples who are now almost extinct.


and you too are NOT true son of Oduduwa, YOU WHO HAVE BETRAYED TRUE REIGION FOR WHITE MAN GARBAGE.

ask your husband or find one of his family members to mentor you.

the practices vary by region so you need to find out how they do it where your husband is from.

how did this make homepage?
Mods sef?mtcheeeeeeeew

Obviously a windup.

Since most of these posters are actually masquerading under various user ids.

Who knows if its even a boko haram agent looking for info since any normal person would ask look for this type of information from the people around her, or whoever introduced her to the culture.

Not checking with complete strangers on the internet.

thanks tpia! Just thougtht i would get some Infos!

Pagan, I really pitty you that your view of the World is so small and you cant`overcome some past who nobody of us today has been involved!

^^

well good for you. go eat mud.

Pagan, pls, let it go.

Love will always conquer hate. Love is the greatest weapon to your enemy. If we continue with jungle justice of responding to hate with hate, when will the circle of hate ever end? Let's build a better world. Let the past be past, act now and save tomorrow.

Iya ctjs is a sister, she needs us. Welcome to Nigeria - Africa. You don't need much lecture to mix with Nigerians. Just a simple courtesy which I believe you have as a matured adult.

See how another fool displays his worthlessness. SMH

Not everyone deserves to comment on threads.

@koolking, thanks for your Kind Words! I ve already meat alot of open minded Nigerians, and they are very great People!

I am looking forward to get in touch with my Husbands Country to get more understanding maybee, and let my Children see their other sides of Roods!