Now some boys are gonna start using fuel to toast chicks, ''Baby take a look at my guage, I have full tank''

Host: What do i offer you? Visitor: I'll take fuel.

Hmm! Range sport na 350k now, bicycle na 1.5million!

Man:How much u dey cut hair for here? Barber: Na N100 wit Nepa, but N800 wit gen.
Man:Abeg flash me wen Nepa bring lite."

"No useless Pings abeg, I bought fuel for my gen to charge this bb" LMAO

LIST OF THINGS 2 BUY WHEN PAYING BRIDE PRICE
1)donkey
2)bicycle
3)horse
4)100 LITERS OF FUEL
5)pair of trekers shoe, lol

subsidy removal is not funny o. 

Car snatched a gun point, owner shouts "Chei! my fuel oooo "

LAUGHABLE FACTS ABOUT THE NEW FUEL PRICE

Prepare to start buying Coke for N120 for 35cl and Star for N350

Valentine Day is around the corner, lovers should expect more of 'rubber' slippers and bicycles from their partners (to help out in the very long trek and ride).

When next your neighbor or colleague gives you a lift and demands to get paid, don't take it personal, just remember he needs more money to get his tank filled.

If only Nigerians had listened to Ojo Maduekwe when he was Minister of Transportation under Obasanjo that Nigerians should start riding on bicycles, we wouldn't have bothered so much about the increment in fuel now.

Ladies the next time you go visiting your boyfriend and he hands you a 'hand fan' rather than putting on his generating set. Don't see him as being less caring, he is only saving for 'you both's future". A word of advice, start putting a hand fan in your hand bag.

When your company calls for a staff meeting and demands you choose between continuous use of staff bus or slash in salary, please don't think of resigning. You might just get it worse somewhere else.

A Nigerian is set to be the next Olympic Gold medalist in the "long distance running". Remember Haile Gabrel Salassie was the Worlds greatest after running 300km everyday in his country Ethopia due to abject poverty as he was unable to afford transport fare.

BIS addicts expect your subscription to rise back to the former cost of N5,000 per month. So prepare to dust up your former Nokia phone as 'pinging' won't come cheap no more.

A plate of food at Fast Food joints will go for nothing less than N1,500. Ladies start getting used to the heat of the kitchen, as most men will now realize how much they love "home made" meals.

When next your neighbor demands to charge his phone with your generating set, don't be shy to demand for "cost of charging". Afterall why didn't he turn on his on Generator.




NIGERIANS SPEAK ON FUEL SUBSIDY REMOVAL :

Festus Amadi - "I have put up my Toyota corolla car for sale. I intend buying a Power Bike to replace it. It will be expensive fueling my car from Ogba where I live to Ikoyi where I work, considering the heavy traffic each day".

Mrs Obot .S. - "I have agreed with my only son that henceforth, he will go to school on the days he will be having Mathematics Classes. He can learn other subjects at home. it now cost N1,000 to and fro for his transportation to school, and I can't tell my son to trek from Jakande in lekki to CMS high school everyday.

Sergeant Owolabi (Police Officer) - "As I am speaking to you, ALL Police Area Commanders Nation wide are having a meeting to conclude on how much the new "egunje" at each check point will be. We heard it will now be N200 for those who will have problems finding change to give commuters, and N250 for those who have change.

Mabel .U. (UNILAG STUDENT) - "I am considering dumping my present boy friend to find a new one, because he has no car. I don't even know how I will start attending school, because the prices of Taxi will be too exorbitant for me to afford".

Hassan Baba (Okada Operator) - "shai! We will start carrying as many as 3 passengers on each bike as so many people won't be able to afford a single ride. Also any woman who is visibly pregnant will pay the cost of 2 people".

Joe Bright (Area Vigilante) - "I didn't plan to quit drinking beer this as my New Year Resolution but with the current price in beer, I certainly have no choice."

Albert Maduka (Unemployed) -"As soon as the prices for telecom services increases, I will have no choice than to communicate with my fiancée through mail sending via NIPOST Only. I will really miss her voice though".

Pastor Robert - "All parishes of my church are having a meeting to determine the new amount to be paid for Tithe and Offering. As we can't rely on the 10% the Bible instructed. We will need to buy fuel to run the generators for sunday and weekday service,as well as night vigils".

the best way for fuel to go back to N65 is wen we all start riding on bicycle den there will be less demand on fuel.